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As Jessie approached the close she always fought the urge to quicken her pace, to get within sight as quickly as possible. Deep down, as much as it would cause her stomach to knot, she relished it. This was the moment that each day built to, making her deliciously anxious all day, consuming her thoughts. Jessie knew it was ridiculous and pathetic, she even knew it was unhealthy and obsessive but as long as it was her secret, her private pleasure then what harm was it doing?
Jessie took a deep breath as she saw her house, took the hood of her jumper down and shook her short, black hair. She slowed herself ever so slightly as she reached the neighbour’s fence, it was painted white and had a black chain running from post to post. There were eleven posts, Jessie had counted, and at post number five she would be perfectly aligned to glance up into their front room. Empty. Jessie disguised her smile and turned into her drive walking purposely on the gravel instead of the path. Jessie crunched loudly up towards the back door and forced her deep, brown eyes to the floor, waiting…waiting…waiting, fuck it was agony! Jessie felt a pang of disappointment as she stopped at the door, with a gutted sigh Jessie rooted in her bag for her keys. Then, there it was, a knock on the glass. Jessie’s heart jumped up into her throat and she spun around a little quicker than she meant to, cursing herself for it. Jessie found herself gazing into the eyes of the neighbour through the conservatory window… beautiful, blue eyes. Always terrified she would not be able to look away but never being able to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds. That dirty blonde hair, the flash of teeth behind the smile that melted Jessie every time, she never tired of absorbing it. Jessie held her hand up and responded to the wave, smiling and trying not to blush. It was funny, she spent all day waiting for it but when it was occurring she experienced awkwardness beyond words, but it was so worth the rush. Jessie thrust her hand back in her bag to find her keys, this was the way it happened each day. She would check the front room, empty would mean her neighbour would be in the conservatory that overlooked their drive. Jessie would loudly announce her approach on the gravel, her neighbour would politely tap on the window, a smile then a wave before Jessie would shut her door behind her, heart thudding in her chest. The rest of the day would be spent in her bedroom as much as possible with her light off, staring into next door to savour every opportunity to admire her crush. Jessie knew it was a little stalkerish but could not stop her addiction.
Jessie could not find her keys, panic set it, and then it happened.
“ Have you lost your keys?”
Jessie froze, they had never really exchanged words since Amy and her husband had moved in 7 months ago, just smiles and waves. Oh and pleading admissions of love sent through desperate psychic messages. Jessie knew she had to respond, she cleared her throat and turned around slowly.
“ No, they’re here somewhere” she replied, grateful her voice didn’t fail her. Amy had opened the side door and was leaning in the frame, her long hair draping her shoulders.
“ Well, I was going to say that you are welcome to come in and wait until your parents get home if you have locked yourself out”
Jessie could not actually believe she was talking to the object of her infatuation let alone be invited into the conservatory that she had sat and watched for hours from the darkness of her bedroom. She blushed slightly when she thought of the times she had ached with desire and relieved herself whilst Amy had been sipping wine in there or laying watching TV in her bedroom, curtains open. Jessie was about to open her mouth to politely decline, her fingers found the familiar key-ring and began to tug them free of her college folders. Jessie was so intimidated by Amy that she was backing up the steps, wanting nothing more than to be safely behind her bedroom window where she was in control. Then a thought struck her, as completely terrified as she was, Jessie dropped the keys back into the jungle of pens, folders and books and took a deep breath.
“Really? Would you mind?” asked Jessie taking a small step forward, half expecting to be told she had misheard and be completely humiliated.
“I’d really like some company” Amy replied with a crooked smile.
Jessie sat on the edge of the wicker sofa that she had watched Amy curled up on so many nights before. she smiled, looking up in the direction of her bedroom and thenquickly averting her eyes as Amy walked back into the conservatory with a glass of ice water, she handed it to Jessie.
“Thanks, and Thanks again for letting me come over, I’m sure my parents will be home soon”
“There’s no rush Jess” replied Amy as she curled her legs up underneath her in her usual spot on the sofa. Jessie’s stomach did a backflip when Amy had called her Jess, she liked it, and at that moment she had also caught a breath of Amy’s perfume causing a pulse of desire to shoot through her. Jess shifted in her seat as if convinced Amy would sense it, taking a sip of water she realised she had absolutely nothing planned to say.
“ So, have you been at college today?” said Amy, cutting the pressure of silence that Jessie was convinced was about to force her into a tourettes style declaration of lust.
“ Yeah….” Jessie swallowed hard, this was a hideously bad call. She had lost all of the vocabulary she had built up since she was born and the fantasy version of this exchange was quickly turning into a reality nightmare. Jessie had envisioned this moment many times before and in it she had always been cool, calm and collected whilst Amy had, depending on Jessie’s mood, either thrown herself at her, begging to be fucked or seduced Jessie whilst explaining how she was only with her husband to keep up appearances…. and begging to be fucked. Either way ended with an amazingly passionate encounter where Jessie has known exactly what to do to make Amy groan and writhe and bite her lip and…..Jessie shifted in her seat again.
“ Do I make you nervous Jess?” asked Amy, her voice sexy and slow. Jessie wondered how much of a prick Amy would think she was if she bolted for the door, pretended to faint, started to cry, pretended to die, anything to avoid that question.
‘Come on Jess’ she said to herself ‘ You’re studying theatre studies! Fucking improvise!!!’
“ What makes you think I’m nervous?” Jess asked in her smoothest voice whilst sliding back into the chair and making herself look as pretend comfortable as she could. Amy smiled and shrugged, Jessie figured that Amy was rapidly regretting inviting her over, she had to say something, fast.
“ I guess I’m a bit stressed out, sorry if I’m a bit distracted, lot on my mind”
‘Good thinking Jessie, intrigue her, tug on the heart strings’
“You wanna tell me about it?” asked Amy, head tilting to one side.
’something that’s not going to paint me as a complete dick’ Jessie thought quickly.
“ I’m… erm….rehearsing a play at the moment and I have to play a couple of the characters as we have quite a small class. Just trying to cram lines and separate the characters” Jessie hoped Amy was impressed and stole a glance, pleased with the smile Amy was giving her.
“ How do you learn your lines, alone or do you read them with friends?” she asked.
“ Alone, that’s why I’m struggling to learn the cues “
“ Would you like to practice them with me?”
Jessie looked up, blatantly surprised and Amy laughed.
“ I used to act when I was at school I’ll have you know! And it wasn’t as long ago as you might think “
“ What? I thought you were his daughter!” Jessie said, indicating Amy’s husband in a nearby photo frame. Amy laughed, it was beautiful sound and as she saw her Dad’s car pull into the drive Jessie knew she wanted to cause that laughter again. Jessie grabbed her bag, stood and refused to let the opportunity slide.
“ If you mean it, I would be really grateful to have you read lines with me” Jessie looked back at Amy as she made for the door, hiding behind her angled fringe but bravely waiting for an confirmation.
“ Anytime Jess “
Jessie smiled and summoned all her will power to not look back.
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