Chapter 3: Why collect Brownie Points?

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

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Chapter 3.

“Why collect Brownie Points”


So far we've established that men seem to have a more difficult time collecting brownie points than women and we’ve also not yet touched on why? Why not, you ask? Because, what do we care how or why a woman collects her brownie points.

You see, a woman gets her brownie points from you and we all know how guys throw around the brownie points!

All a woman has to do is smile and say Hi and she’s in the positive point side, never to see negative points again...ever, unless the guy wakes up...fat chance of that happening.

So you see, we are here mainly concentrating on helping those poor slobs that wallow in the pool of negative slop of the sliding point scale!

Women don’t need any help...but we do! Lots and lots of help!

So why collect brownie points?

Well if you are single, living alone or living with a bunch of other guys then yes, why bother, there is no need but... hold on, not so quickly my little apprentice!

If you are old, (or older, for those of you with feelings), or no longer in need of, or want any female companionship, then you can close the book and pass it on to another guy as a present.

Consider it money well spent and I thank you for it but if you are in your teens, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties and maybe even some of you older little devils in your sixties or seventies (you lucky dogs) then you may have to consider the possibility that a lovely young lady could turn your eye!

If a lovely young lady can still turn your eye, then there is nothing wrong with practicing earning brownie points on people in general while still alone. Lay the groundwork baby, lay the groundwork.

It’s amazing how you can turn people’s attitude around just by arriving with a smile and a friendly “Howdy”!

Sometimes you even get a little bonus, these are explained in the chapter “Accidental Brownie Points”!

Once I got a Extra-Large pizza with THREE toppings for the price of the special Two toppings, now I know that it ain’t much but you have to consider the trickle down effect that this causes. All with a warm Howdy.

The girl at the counter was happy as I chatted with her and the owner was smiling and gave me the extra topping because of my charm, wit and contagious smile.

So that’s two people that I made smile, plus a couple of customers that were in the restaurant where also smiling. A very smart Woman once told her son:

“It takes a lot to be Nasty to someone but it takes very little effort to be Nice”

Very wise words by a very nice woman, so you see when you make people smile, they remember you better because you started them talking about you.

They then pass the word to their friends and before you know it, you are the friendly guy that everybody wants to meet and and be friends with, the women will be climbing all over themselves to get to you, you’ll have to beat them off with a big stick!

Okay, okay maybe not a big stick but it’s my fantasy and I’ll live it any way I see fit, anyways that is the way it’s supposed to be but I think somewhere down the line something must have happened and we are now living in this alternate universe..oh that’s another story.

But we could all end up like that, living in a parallel universe where only the men have to earn brownie points. Not a good situation, no matter how you try to spin it.

Brrrr...I don’t even want to think about it but I do have a few theories and ideas that will hopefully come to light in an upcoming book, so stay tuned.

But like I was saying, word will get around like wildfire with all of the modern day technology of Facebook, Twitter and the likes.

As soon as it’s out, it dances along the lines of the internet like an olympic skier, swooshing here and swooshing there.

Word of mouth is the best advertising in the world and we know that in today’s world to get out there, we have to BE out there.

We have now sorted out who benefits from collecting brownie points and will dig a little deeper into WHY?

 I don’t know if you dudes out there are paying attention but this is very important and worth repeating, as a matter of fact I think that I’ll keep repeating myself quite a few more times throughout this book so that it will sink in! (or maybe I’m repeating myself because of my old-timers, who knows so just bear with me if I repeat myself too much).

EVERYBODY, and I mean EVERYBODY at one time or another PLAYS, whether you like it or not, we’re all in the pool and we’re all playing, just remember to keep your suits on...PLEASE!

(Don’t need no naked guys in the pool with me)

When examining our case study a little further, we come to the brilliant conclusion that we as men, (that are in or trying to get into a relationship), have been going backwards in the brownie point food chain, while the women have been advancing by leaps and bounds, like a gazelle being chased by a hungry lion.

That is why we need to collect and be thrifty with our brownie points, more so than our significant others, we always have to stay on top of our game, hence the encouragement to continue to collect points wether you are in a relationship or not.

There is nothing wrong with “Laying the Groundwork” as we call it, nothing now but when the interest starts rolling in...WOW, when did we start talking about money? Let’s get back on track.

When you get right down to it, women control the brownie points, so they control the game, you see, women need very few brownie points because there is not much that we have that they want!

We men, need women more than they need us, so, through supply and demand we men have put ourselves in the demand side of the equation and the women control the supply side...see where this is going.

Men want women and need brownie points to get them, what we want women for, I don’t know, but I know that we want women!

What do women want...well...I don’t really know what women want but one thing I do know for sure, whatever it is that women want, it doesn’t cost very many brownie points or even any at all!

Just think about it, you are 45 and 6’ 1” tall, sophisticated looking, charming you know the whole ten yards and a cute little blond-haired gal say about 30 or 32 flashes those big blue eyes at you and you’ll be tripping all over your tongue, (you big bad wolff ), to run and hand her all YOUR brownie points willingly AND with a smile to boot, without her asking anything from you at all, just a Smuck!

Now, let’s take that same scenario and reverse the combatants...I mean eh players, here is a cute little blond-haired gal about 30 or 32, she’s 5’ 3”, 105 lbs soaking wet, cute as a button and tender as a bug’s ear.

Along you come, Mr. Caveman, (okay, we’ll stick with Mr. sophisticated and charming), you turn and see her standing over there talking to a couple of friends sipping elegantly on her Starbucks Frappacino!

Your eyes lock together as you gaze in her direction, you bat your eyelashes and flash your pearly whites at her and as she looks back at you the corners of her mouth turn up into a think.

You hesitate because you’re unsure of what it meant by the way her mouth seemed to contort up in the corners!

Did she like you, was that a smile or just gas, or worse was she just trying to hold back a stream of green pea soup because of your revolting appearance. I mean you did give her a glance of your pearly whites?

You see, it doesn’t matter how we perceive ourselves, the ONLY thing that matters is how the girl that you like perceives YOU.

Now looking back at the very basic example that I have just described, we can now clearly see that no one guy has any real advantage.

Your brownie point heaven is clearly defined by the point of view of the person directly responsible for giving you said brownie points in the first place! HER!

That doesn’t mean that you can slack off at any time, no, no, no, on the contrary, if things are good then you can always lay the ground work for NO future visits to the Dog House.

Do not earn too many extra brownie points because like I had said before, remember The Golden Rule, never, ever collect and hold onto anymore brownie points than what you need at that particular moment in time.

Gotta get back in Time...great song!

When you don’t need any brownie points at the moment and things are great then it’s time to check and see what tasks, jobs or services that you can do for your wife to keep her happy. (for future reference)

Jobs that don’t need a lot of effort or work.

Just like a rolling truck is easier to move than one that is standing still, so it is with brownie points, it is easier to keep women happy when they are already happy.

Take ALL that information and put it in the bank, lock it up, (so she can’t raid the vault), DON’T throw away the key and bring out the information only a little bit at a time when needed, spread it around baby, spread it around.

That way, with a little luck, (or maybe a LOT of luck for some of us), you will be able to keep yourself out of Dogtown and off of Couchtown for the time being.

So, we are now starting to see a pattern emerge which is starting to tell us that this brownie point system is a little one sided. (like we didn’t know this from the start.)

Knowing that it’s a little one sided ahead of time does give us a little bit of an edge and makes us be ready at all times, even under extreme conditions in social settings.

As long as you keep your wits about you and remember the sliding scale, do the best that you can, then the rest is up to...gulp...fate and let the brownie points fall where they may!

Trying to live without brownie points is just impossible, it’s fine if you are young like in your teens, then brownie points come and go at a rate comparable to trying to keep money in your bank account.

I heard a very wise man (or was that wise guy) once say that with girls, nice cars and money we can have one and sometimes two of the three, but never ever all three

The players on both sides are new and not really sure as to what to do but that scenario changes quicker than the speed of light.

When in your teens it is waaaay too easy to earn brownie points for a guy, that is why we are being misled by the easiness of earning brownie points.

That is also why guys don’t care too much about brownie points when they are young but boy oh boy, when these guys get a little older, they start to sweat a little because just like retirement, it’s been ignored.

Brownie points is a little like saving for your retirement, yes I mean it, it is...mostly anyhow.

When you save RRSP’s they collect interest on a compounding basis.

Collecting brownie points is a lot like that, if you do the right thing and get some points, they sit in your account and attract interest from other brownie points givers, thus in a way giving you interest on the brownie points already earned.

As you can see, there are many ways to collect brownie points and there are many different values for doing the same thing for different women in different scenarios to collect brownie points.

Staying on your toes and keeping a close eye on the mood and attitude of your partner could possible keep you out of the dog house, take the next example for instance: Larry is married and his wife asks him if the dress she is trying on makes her butt look fat!

Well...I can tell you that there are very few compatible answers that you could come up with that are positive... but speak the words with doubt in your voice, (and she can tell so watch out) and the negativity will hit your wife as if she was run over with a snowblower in the dead of winter in the arctic!

Another good example would be when or if, (because it will happen), your wife has gained a few...pounds!

Well I can tell you the last thing that you wanna do is guess at what is happening...because guess what?

Your pillow will be under Rover’s head in the dog house.

That’s why you never, ever, never start any conversation with a woman about weight!

Weightlifting...okay, body weight...NOT OKAY!

A few issues that a man should just not touch for fear of physical health as well as brownie points are, in no particular order of importance, anything and everything that has anything to do with: Weight, Age, Intelligence, Work Ethic, Height, Political Views, Religion and oh don’t let me forget YOUR out-laws?

You can see where this is going right, hmmm?

We have to be vewy, vewy quiet, I see a wabbitt, haha!

But just like Elmer we have to be very, very careful when we open our mouth, so that we don’t get struck at that particular moment with a case of verbal diarrhea.

To get this train back on track, we take one last look at “WHY” we collect our brownie points?

Because we have no choice...if we want a woman!

Because a woman we must have, which at this point we are starting to figure out as we mature and know...movement!

THEY, pretty well demand that we play the brownie point game if we want them, that is why it is so important to establish a tight bond with a girl as early in life as possible, that way she won’t know any better and you get Brownie Point Bliss, in Marriage Heaven!

But there are enough women out there that make a career out of playing the brownie point game and they are presumably very good at it.

These women are what keep the brownie point system alive, which is not a bad thing because when played right it can be very rewarding for both involved.

So like I said, we have no choice but to play and hope that the system, (or opponent), will treat us fairly and if not, well...then we move along and...brr try again...I guess!

We’ll have to start back at the beginning!

We have to go back to basics and start from scratch.

If we can educate and begin to re-program the younger generation then we will stand a fighting chance to come out on top...and isn’t on top where we wanna be?

Submitted: December 05, 2014

© Copyright 2021 James A Grove. All rights reserved.


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