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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Gay and Lesbian  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 3 (v.1)

Submitted: March 01, 2014

Reads: 426

A A A | A A A

Submitted: March 01, 2014



July 16 2010

The following week was sort of boring. I missed her when she wasn’t there and it felt terrible to be needy like that. Friday I was standing by my closet trying to figure out once again what to wear. I chose to wear all black, a black top with lace back as well as a pair of black shorts with black tights. I was standing in the bathroom fixing my hair, just making sure it wasn’t straight and boring, more alive, when it knocked on my door. “It’s open,” I called. The door to the bathroom was open. Maria came walking. She smiled when she saw me. “Wow,” she said. I looked over at her and blushed. “What?” I asked. She smirked and grabbed me and kissed me. “You look amazing,” she said. I shook my head. If anyone looked amazing it would be her. She was wearing a shorter black dress with a Victorian style. She was also wearing heals so she was a lot taller than me. “Maybe I need heels,” I said. She smiled. “Feeling short?” she asked. I nodded. “Aw, you should have told me and I’d gone with flats,” she said. I shook my head. “No, your legs look amazing,” I said. She smirked a little. “Right!” she said. I walked over and pulled on a pair of black heels. She grabbed my waist and kissed me. “Oh, god,” she whispered a little. I frowned slightly. Was that good or bad? She kissed me some more. We stood there for a while, until she remembered that we actually had some where to go.

We walked into a club. It was a bit different from the last time. She got us a booth a bit privately. “I’ll go and get drinks,” she said and she walked away as I sat there. I could see some people looking at me so I stared playing with my phone. After we’d had a few drinks, it was like the world glowed around us. She kissed my cheek as we were walking down the street. I couldn’t stop laughing since we were both equally unstable. She laughed as well as we fumbled around. It was even harder to stay quiet when neither one of us could unlock the door to my apartment. “Shish… we have to be quiet,” I said as she was giggling a little, but I failed too at that and we stood there giggling until her lips found mine and my arms were automatically around her neck and her hands on my waist. I finely managed to calm myself down enough to get the door opened. I had already taken off my shoes so I just tossed them away and walked to the kitchen a little unsteady.

I grabbed a bottle of water and drank a little. Maria came walking in as she’d taken off her heels and was smirking slightly. She grabbed my bottle and drank a little. I blushed as she then bit her lip and grabbed my waist and kissed me deeply. “I want you,” she whispered. I felt shivers walk down my spine. “Yeah?” I asked as I suddenly started feeling a little insecure about my scars. She nodded as she kissed my neck. “Yes,” she answered. I bit my lip. “I need a human moment,” I said and walked to the bathroom to wash of a little. I removed my top and the shorts as I then got caught at the image of myself. I stared at the two holes. They looked terrible. I felt myself panic and I was about to cry, when she just opened the door. She looked at me for a short second. “Are you okay?” she asked carefully. I couldn’t hold it so I just fell into tears. She wrapped her arms around me and held me the entire two hours I cried for no reason. When I was done, I was sober and pretty clear and so was she. She kissed the top of my head. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you so sad?” she asked deeply worried. I looked up at her and I felt ashamed since I wasn’t wearing much and my scars were ugly. “Don’t look at me,” I said as I pushed her away a little. She frowned. I looked down at the hole in my gut on the right side.

She sighed and got up and grabbed my waist but I pushed her away. “I can’t. They’re so ugly,” I said as I felt tears coming again. She frowned. “No, Sarah, don’t you… No, they’re a part of you. I don’t think they make you look any less. It just shows how strong you are,” she said. I shook my head as I didn’t believe her. She grabbed me again and let her index finger trace the one on my shoulder. “I like them, I like you,” she said. I sighed. “You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to feel bad,” I said a little tired. “No, I’m not,” she said. “I don’t believe you. Be honest, if you could have chosen, you’d choose me before I got shot,” I said bitterly. “No, I would only choose that because I’d never choose to put you thru pain. I want you, I really do,” she said.

I sighed. She wrapped her arms around me and just held me for a long time. “I suck. I’m standing here crying in my underwear,” I said. She smiled a little. “At least it’s a really hot look for you,” she said a little playful. I just looked at her and she knew I didn’t think that was okay. She led me towards bed. “Just sleep it off,” she said. I nodded and crawled into bed and fell asleep.

July 17 2010

I woke up alone in bed. I sighed a little. She left. I really screwed up this time. I’m so stupid! I hit the bed in anger and angst. “Hey, hey, stop that, what’s wrong?” Maria said as she came running and jumped up on the bed beside me. I looked at her a little shocked but then I felt even worse. I turned my face into my pillow. “Sarah…,” she said and sighed a little. “Do you want me to go?” she asked carefully. I turned around completely and looked at her. “No, I’m sorry,” I said and sat up. She looked at me as if she was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I wrapped my arms around my legs. She looked down then.

“I didn’t consider how you felt about your scars. I did order a plastic surgeon so that you wouldn’t have to deal with so much scaring. I guess, I should have realized that you still haven’t gotten to the point where you’ve gotten to terms with them,” she said and looked really sad. Not like oh someone died in a movie. More like it went down to the core of her. How could she care so much for what I think about my body? I sighed and realized my legs and wrapped my arms around her instead.

July 28 2010

I stood outside a shop as Maria was inside and I was waiting. It was a bright sun and a really good day. I guess lately it’s been a little slow between me and her, normal sort of. We’ve hung out, kiss, make out, talk and just in general are. Sometimes I think maybe I’ve done something wrong. I thought we would have gotten further than this by now. “Sarah!” my brother’s voice called. I hadn’t seen my brother for almost a year since he’s been traveling. He’s about three years older than me. He left for collage and then hello world sort of. I only got to turn half way before he tackle-hugged me. “Mark,” I said a little shocked.

“Hi, I just got back from Australia!” he said in a weird accent. He’d clearly been exposed to someone with a lot of accent. He had sandy blond hair and bright blue eyes like me. He’s always been sort of boyishly cute I guess in his own way. He was popular and really good at everything really. He smiled a bright smile. “What are you doing here? How’s life? What’s been happening?” he asked with way to much energy for me. I smiled. “Not much, you know. Well I got shot,” I said simply. He looked shocked at me. “Really?” he asked shocked. I nodded and lowered the shirt on my shoulder. His jaw landed on the ground. “Wow! What happened?” he asked. I shrugged. “Random guy started shooting, I was the only victim. Got two bullets,” I said a little annoyed. He looked a little worried. “When did that happen?” he asked. I sighed. “Last month,” I said. He stared wide eyed at me and hugged me again. “You should have called, I would have come,” he said. I sighed a little. It was nice to hug him. I’ve actually really missed him.

He looked around. “What are you doing here?” he asked then. Right then Maria came walking. “I was thinking maybe… Oh,” she said as she saw Mark. “Mark?” she asked a little confused at first. “Maria?!” he asked shocked. Right, they were in the same grade. “What are you doing here?” he asked her. She blushed and looked at me. “Eh, we… she’s… help,” she said a little insecure. I bit my lip and stretched out my hand to her. She took it. “We were just shopping some,” I said and looked down as I blushed. “Really, you swing that way Sarah? Wow,” he said shocked. I felt a little ashamed as I looked at him. Is he going to hate me? “Yeah, sort of,” I said. He grinned. “Well I guess that’s hot,” he said. I rolled my eyes a little.

“I forgot he was your brother,” Maria said then as she looked a little uncomfortable. “Hey, I didn’t know. I honestly thought someone as hot as you couldn’t be gay,” he said then. I felt a little shocked. Something had happened between the two of them. Maria sighed and looked away a little. “Duchebag, it’s not something you can determine on how hot someone is. I mean really? It was a jerk move on your part,” she said a little disturbed. I felt like I was just standing there disappearing in the background. Mark nodded. “I’m sorry. I know,” he said. Maria looked over at me as she realized I was being quiet. She sighed and pulled me closer. “Well, anyhow, we should be going if you didn’t want to catch up some more?” she asked. I sighed. “Call me,” I told him. He nodded and turned around and walked to a girl that had clearly been standing in the corner waiting for him.

We continued walking. After a while she sighed. “It was a party and well he was drunk and well he sort of, dragged me into a room with him. He had some sort of idea of that I’d give him a blowjob,” she said slowly. I frowned as the thought made me a little sick. “Okay,” I said without looking at her. “I didn’t. The thing was that I sort of hit him and then left,” she said. I frowned. “Oh,” I said as I tried to get the deal. I guess I should just leave it be. She sighed. “Are you upset?” she asked a little insecure. I frowned and looked at her. “No, why?” I asked. She shrugged. “You seemed so distant,” she said. I bit my lip. “Yeah, I’m just thinking,” I said.

August 13 2010

When I sat with Maria on her couch, I felt a little tense and almost like I could sleep. She held around me as we were watching a movie. I’d been working at the dinner all day. “Are you tired?” she asked me carefully as she looked over at the clock on the wall. It was about passed ten. I bit my lip and looked up at her. “Yeah, but its fine,” I said. I didn’t want her to feel like I wouldn’t want to be with her even if we’re just watching a movie. She kissed my forehead. “Let’s go to bed,” she whispered as helped me up. We walked into her bedroom as she then grabbed around my waist from behind and kissed my neck a little. It felt nice even though my shoulders were hurting because of the tension in them.

She let her hands smoothly flow over my shoulders. “Oh, you’re really tense, does it hurt?” she asked carefully. I sighed. “Yeah,” I answered a little occupied with the fact that she was so close to me. “I can fix that,” she whispered as she slowly removed my shirt. I automatically covered a little. She whipped my hair to the side and kissed my neckline. I felt my heart accelerating. “Lay down,” she whispered. I bit my lip and lay down and looked over at her. She undressed to underwear and bit her lip a little and it was actually one of the first times I’ve seen her look a little scared of showing her body to me. It made me a little scared. Why was she nervous? She crawled up to me and kissed me a little and then slid down a bit and opened my pants. I felt a little panic but held still. She pulled them off and then smiled a little. “Turn around,” she said calmly. I rolled around.

She then sat down on my waist as she massaged my shoulders, but it was a little too smooth. As her fingers slid out on my arm I knew she was using some kind of oil. “You have massage oil?” I asked a little shocked. “Yes,” she answered in a vibrant voice. It made chills go thru my body. Her hands moved so smoothly, and feeling her against me, on top of me made me a little relaxed even though it also made me nervous, but not in the sense that I wanted to get away or like I wanted her to stop.

Then I felt her fingers opening my bra. I instantly stiffened and looked around at her. “Maria,” I said automatically. She looked at me calmly. “It’s in the way,” she said and kissed my shoulder and let the bra laces fall down the sides. I sighed a little. “Fine,” I whispered. She then let her hands slide down my back as she continued smoothly feeling my body. I felt tingles all over my body. Then she slid down a little and massaged my legs. When she was closer to a point I started having problems. “It was my shoulders, not my legs,” I pleaded a little. She giggled a little. “Why? Are you ticklish?” she asked playfully. I blushed. I was. “But, I guess you’re right,” she said and moved upwards.

I felt her hands on my waist. Then her hands went upwards but closer to my front than my back. I froze a little as she got to my breast. Her hands were smooth as she leaned into me and kissed my neckline and my cheek and then she turned me around and kissed me for real. I felt my body building up a burning flame. One of her hands was still on my boob while kissing. I automatically let my hand slide from her neck down to hers. It went a little deeper. One of her legs was between mine as she moved while kissing me. It made me react and wet. I blushed as I continued kissing her. Was she going to go there? I want to. She let one of her hands slide down to my butt and lifted it a little closer to her. I let my hands go to her bra and I opened it. It was a little more difficult than I thought it would be. She sat up as she removed it and then looked in to my eyes as she leaned in and kissed me.

When she pulled my underwear off, I thought I was going to die, as scared as I was. But the really weird part was that I actually wasn’t as scared as I thought. She kissed me as she then slid down between my legs. The next three hours were bizarre and amazing and I couldn’t believe what was actually happening. She was really calm and it was so full. I never thought it would be like that at all. She helped me thru the entire way. Afterwards we just lay making out and then she held around me as I was really tired and halfway sleeping when she whispered. “Hey, are you awake?” I didn’t answer. “I love you,” she whispered. I felt my heart break a little. Did she mean it or was it because of what we just did? I didn’t know what to say. Do I love her? Is that what this is?

August 14 2010

I woke up looking at the wall for a bit. Her apartment really was beautiful, just like her. I turned around to notice that I was alone in bed. I sighed and sat up as I held the sheets against my body. Where did she go?  Is she mad because I didn’t say it back? I mean, I should have. I wanted to. The door to the bedroom opened and she came walking with a tray in her hand. She was wearing a pair of hipsters and a tank top. Her hair was a little messy, but like in a good way. She had pulled back her hair behind one of her ears. She smiled softly as she came walking. “Morning,” she whispered and sat it down in front of me. It had pancakes and some fruit and a glass of juice.

“Morning,” I said and looked at her. She was so beautiful, even when she wasn’t trying. It’s unfair really that some are born so beautiful. She laid a hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes a long time. “How are you feeling?” she asked. I blushed. “I’m okay. You?” I asked carefully. She smiled. “I’m wonderful,” she said. I smiled a little. “That’s an understatement,” I accidently said instead of thinking. She raised one eyebrow. “Really?” she asked in disbelieve. I blushed even more. “I’ sorry I fell asleep so fast,” I mumbled a little. She shook her head a little. “Don’t be, a lot of things happened and you were tired before so it’s no wonder really,” she whispered and leaned closer to me. “You’re really quiet, you know that right,” she whispered. I bit my lip and looked at her. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. She shook her head a little. “No, don’t be. I mean, you know you don’t have to be quiet,” she said.

I blushed. “You keep making me blush like this, I will faint,” I said and smiled a little. She grinned. “Right, good thing I’m a doctor,” she said playfully. I rolled my eyes a little. I ate a little while she was watching me. “Don’t look at me like that,” I said blushing. She smiled. “Like what?” she asked clearly she was in a really good mood but not like she wants to joke about everything or like she wants to mess around, this was a different kind that I hadn’t seen before. I guess I’ve seen a lot I haven’t seen before really. “Like you’re going to eat me,” I said a little oblivious back. She grinned. “I just might,” she said. I bit my lip. I really did open for that one.

After eating a little, I put down the tray. She pushed me over and kissed me. “Hey, do you want to take a shower with me?” she asked carefully. I bit my lip a little. I did feel a little sticky. But showering with her, would mean being naked and I’m not so sure about that. “Don’t worry about it,” she whispered as she pulled me up with her and walked fast into the bathroom where the water was already running. She pushed me inside as she then removed her shirt and pulled of the underwear and she got in and kissed me. I kissed her back instantly. I was actually a lot more comfortable than I thought I would be.

We stood making out a little and then somehow it turned out a little playful, as she put shampoo in my hair while we were still making out. After a while it was quiet as we were just making out softly, deeply, for real. “You are amazing, do you know that,” she whispered in my ear as she held around me and I leaned my head against her shoulder. “Not as much as you,” I answered. She pulled me out a little and kissed me. “No, you really are amazing,” she whispered and looked into my eyes. I bit my lip. I want to tell her, I need to tell her how I really feel. “I never thought this could be real,” I said and looked down. “What are you talking about,” she asked carefully. I sighed and looked up at her. “I never really thought it’d feel this way. I knew I loved you but I never thought it’d feel like I could actually ever tell you that,” I whispered. She looked at me and then she pulled me in. “I love you too,” she whispered.

After dressing, we sat on the couch; well I lay in her lap as we were watching TV. “Sometimes I can’t understand what’s going on in there,” she whispered then. I looked up at her as I realized she’d been watching me. I blushed. “I think that’s probably best,” I whispered. She frowned lightly. “Why?” she asked. I smiled a little. “One can only take as many compliments per day,” I said. She smiled a little. “Really?” she asked. I nodded a little. “I was just wondering how you could ever have wanted me. You’re so amazing. How unfair that really is. Why does some get so many good qualities and some get none,” I said. She frowned. “I have flaws,” she said. I sighed. “Like what?” I asked. She blushed. “I’m jealous, whenever it’s cold I can’t hold of the cold, I’m terrible at sports, I can’t sleep alone. I get hurt a lot. I have trouble with my knees elbows, my back and my wrists are weak. I’m terrible at cooking. I’m a slutty and horny drunk. I have a really bad judgment of men and women really. My family hates me because of what and who I am,” she rambled.

I frowned and grabbed her face and pulled her down to kiss her. “No, that’s not flaws to me. That’s you,” I said. She smiled a little. “I’m a bit offended then,” she said. I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean,” I said. She nodded and looked calmly at me. “Yeah, I know what you mean. So now I’m actually going to ask you a second time today, how are you really feeling?” she asked. I sighed and looked away a little and then at her. “I don’t know. I guess I’m happy about what happened, I mean I am. I just don’t know if I’ve actually gotten it yet,” I explained. She smiled. “So you’re waiting for the aftershock,” she said. I nodded. She smiled a little. “I’m glad you felt safe enough to let me in,” she said and she looked a little sad. I sighed. “Yeah, me too,” I answered. She smiled but there was a slight sadness still there.

“Maria… did I do okay?” I asked a little worried. She looked at me and smiled. “Yeah, you did great, why?” she asked. I sighed. “Something’s wrong, you’re sad,” I said. She frowned and looked worried. “It’s… don’t worry about it. I’ll be okay, it’s nothing you did,” she said. I frowned. “What is it?” I asked again as I sat up and turned to her. She sighed and looked away. “I got a phone call this morning,” she said. I kept looking at her. She sighed. “One of my patients didn’t make it thru the night,” she said. I frowned. Someone died. “Oh, that’s terrible, but it wasn’t your fault,” I said. She looked at me. “When it had turned for the worse, they had tried to page me, but I didn’t hear it,” she said and a teardrop slid down. I moved closer to her. “Oh, god, but that still doesn’t mean it’s your fault” I whispered. She shook her head a little. “I know, it’s just eating at me,” she whispered. I nodded and hugged her.

Later on we lay on her bed, actually just lying there. I sighed as I slid my fingers over her hand a little. “I’m still me,” I whispered more to myself than her. She looked at me and frowned a little. “Yes, you are,” she whispered. I looked up at her. She smiled a little. “And you’re wonderful and amazing,” she whispered. I blushed. “You’re beautiful and astonishingly patient,” I said a little playfully. She smiled. “I’d have to be, but it wasn’t hard, not if you truly love someone, it shouldn’t be hard to wait till it feels right,” she said. I bit my lip. “And you felt that it felt right?” I asked as I hadn’t really thought about that. She moved closer to me. “It wasn’t planned if that’s what you’re asking,” she said. I shook my head. “No, I didn’t think it was. I just meant… it doesn’t matter what I meant. Are you feeling better?” I asked. She looked down a little. “No, but it’ll go away eventually,” she said. I nodded. She leaned in and kissed me.

© Copyright 2020 Jamie L Monster. All rights reserved.


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