Helen was quiet as Kelly asked me questions. Then Helen sighed a little. “Kelly, she’s answered enough, it’s going to take time. Right now she doesn’t know what to think,” Helen said. I looked at her as I felt a little thankful. She smiled softly. “Do you want to go back to school now? We can talk tomorrow,” she said. I looked down and looked at the two of them. I have mothers. Something I’ve never had and I’m just sitting here answering questions as if it was a test. I looked at the both of them. They are somewhat beautiful. “Yeah,” I said slightly. Helen nodded. “Let’s go then. I think Taylor is waiting for you,” Helen said. Kelly bit her lip and looked away slightly.
We got up and Helen wrapped her arms around me, not that she needed to, but it felt so much better. Kelly held around Helen’s arm as we then ended up on the top floor outside Taylor’s room. I sighed as I slowly let go. I looked at Helen. “You know you should have told me,” I said a little unsure of what to say. Helen nodded as she took in a breath. “I know, I’m a terrible person. I just wanted for you to get to know me before,” she said. I nodded. Kelly hesitated a little. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. I frowned. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said a little confused. She sighed. “I’ve been asking you a lot but I never asked you if you even wanted me to ask. I just want to know you. I’ve missed such big parts of your life, it breaks my heart,” she said. I nodded and hugged her a little carefully. “I know,” I said and turned and opened the door to my room.
Taylor got up fast, ran to me and threw herself around my neck. “Oh, god, you’re okay,” she said. I wrapped my arms around her tightly as I just felt that weird but nice vibe stronger then ever. It scared me a little but right now, she was the one person who knew me and who I knew. Helen and Kelly followed in. Taylor met my gaze as she let go of me slowly. She looked like she was a the verge of crying, then she looked over at Helen and Kelly. “Oh, god, you’re Kelly James,” she said shocked. I sighed. “These are my moms,” I said. Taylor froze and looked at me and then at Helen. “Oh… I sort of suspected that,” she whispered a little. Helen frowned a little. I looked a little shocked at Taylor.
“Really?” I asked. She nodded. “There’s only three living wizards and witches with your kind of power and they are all three standing in this room you know,” Taylor said. I frowned. “Oh,” I said. Helen smiled. “And decides, she cares too much to not be your mother,” Taylor said. I sighed and looked down.
Then Taylor hugged me again. “Thank god you’re okay,” she said. I smiled a little. “Well it’s a charming coincident that my charm was charmed,” I said. Taylor blushed as she looked at me. “Yeah… I couldn’t let you go without any protection,” she said. I smiled a little. “Yeah, I’m alive because of you,” I said.
Kelly hit Helen slightly. “About that, how could you bring our daughter. She could have died,” Kelly said. Helen sighed and nodded calmly. “Yeah, Taylor, that charm was really strong. What did you use? Sage-root?” Helen asked curiously. Taylor blushed. “Blood,” she said. Helen looked shocked and worried. “Oh, Taylor… You know how dangerous that is. You could have lost control,” Helen said as she walked towards Taylor. I felt a little confused. “I know, but I had to do something, you were too occupied thinking about her,” Taylor said and looked over at Kelly.
“What did she do?” I asked Helen who sighed. “She used blood. It means that she was channeling protection thru her. She’s been trying to keep all spells off you,” Helen said and looked at me seriously. I looked at Taylor. “Why would you do that?” I asked a little scared of the answer. Taylor looked down at her hands. “I couldn’t lose you,” she said weakly. I sighed and wrapped my arms around her without letting go of her.
“I guess we’ll be back tomorrow,” Helen said as she pulled Kelly with her out of the room. “Thank you, I owe you my life,” I whispered. She pulled back a little so that her face was just inches from mine. Then she slid her fingers between mine and held my hands slightly. “No, I’m just glad you didn’t die,” she said and looked down at our hands. I felt the tension between us.
“Thank you,” I whispered. She smiled lightly and let go of me. “You probably need to rest,” she said. I sighed and sat down on my bed. “I don’t know. I feel like I’ve lost a whole day,” I said. Taylor sat down beside me.
“Well, how do you feel about having mothers?” she asked carefully. I frowned a little. “I have no idea right now. I mean, I don’t mind it, but I just don’t feel,” I said. Taylor frowned. “It’s because you haven’t grown up with them so you’d have to get to know them, live with them to actually know how you feel about it. But you don’t mind that they’re moms and not mom and dad?” she asked. I sighed and looked over at her a little. “Why would I?” I asked a little confused. Sure I never thought of it before. Well, I’ve always believe that everyone should be able to marry and have kids with the one they love, I just never thought I’d be the product of that. “I don’t know. I’ve never dared to ask you what your thoughts of gay people really are,” she said. I frowned a little.
“I don’t know. It’s just love and sex I guess. I wouldn’t really know what they feel or what I feel,” I said. She nodded and looked down slightly. “Well I guess that’s good… well not that you don’t know, but that you don’t judge them,” she said and looked a little worried at me.
I shrugged a little. “Well I mean, I have done it, I just haven’t ever been in love so,” I said. She frowned a little as she looked at me, holding my hand lightly in hers. “Why would you do it if you weren’t in love?” she asked carefully. I sighed slightly as I thought about that. “I don’t know. It was just stupid and immature of me really,” I answered. She sighed and bit her lip.
“I think that, if you love that person it makes all the difference and that’s what’s real, not the other complicated things,” she said. I shook my head a little. “Yes, but then how do you know if you love someone? It’s never fit right with me. I mean, how can you tell? I don’t believe in that movie crap about it being the moment you look at one another and you just fall in love. It’s not like that,” I said.
Taylor frowned. “No, it’s more like you get really nervous. Then when you touch that person, your skin turns electric, just the sight of that person makes everything inside you move. You can hear your own heart beat when they are closer to you. You want nothing but for that person to look at you to listen to you, to listen to them and to keep them safe. You want to laugh and cry at the same time. It’s just uncontrollable,” she explained. I met her gaze as I looked at her for a long time and it made me nervous to think that I had most of those feelings, but that’s because we’re friends right?
“Can’t you just have those feelings for friend and just be friends?” I asked a little insecure. Taylor looked down a little. “You can, but you’d always know that there’s more,” she said more as a whisper. I felt a lump in my throat as I thought about it.
“So you’ve been in love then?” I asked. She smiled lightly and shortly as she then looked up at me. “Yes,” she answered. I felt my heart skip a beat. I bit my lip and got up fast. What should I do? What is she doing? I sighed and walked over to one of my drawers and got a little vile with charm potion and walked over to her. I held it out to her. She looked at me a little confused. “What’s that?” she asked carefully. “Charm potion,” I said. She frowned as she looked at it and then up at me. She got to her feet and shook her head slightly. “I want you to have it. It’s yours. So if you ever feel like you want that person, you can,” I said.
She frowned and looked at me with a conflicted look. “No, Safire, I wouldn’t. I want that person to love me back for me not because I smell so nice that they can’t resist,” she said calmly as she met my gaze. I sighed and bit my lip. “So there’s someone then,” I said. She sighed and looked uncomfortable. “Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it,” she whispered.
I frowned. “Why not? I want to know, it’s sort of clearly a big part of you,” I said. She looked scared. “It is, and I want you to know, but not tonight. You have enough as it is. You should sleep and handle the moms’ situation first. Who I’m helplessly in love with doesn’t really matter right now,” she said. I sighed and nodded. I walked over to my bed and started undressing.
“You have a cut,” Taylor said as she walked over to me. I hadn’t notice the long cut that had cut thru my shirt and clearly smeared blood. I looked at it. It was fairly big. “Oh,” I said a little shocked but also because it stung a bit. Taylor grabbed my arm and looked closer to it. The touch of her skin against mine made my skin turn into thousand-voltage electricity; my heart reacted in a weird way that hurt a little. “It’s really deep,” she mumbled. “Yes,” I said a little distracted by the weird feelings going thru me. Why do weird things keep happening to me? What did I ever do?
She met my gaze as she was really close to me. “Does it hurt?” she asked. I could feel the pain it was actually giving away. It was a little distracted from her touch. “Yeah, a little bit,” I answered. She bit her lip. “I have something for it,” she said and walked over to her night stand and took out an ointment. She started applying it. It stung me and I accidently whimpered and wined a bit. “Oh, I’m so sorry, it’s cleaning it before it will heal,” she whispered. I nodded as I tried to stand still. I watched as she massaged it into my arm carefully. The pain stopped but the way my heart was going you’d think I was about to have an heart attack. She looked at me and smiled lightly. “So, does it feel better?” she asked carefully. I nodded.
I wish it didn’t pulse so much when she touches me. I don’t want this. It’s weird. She let go of me as I continued undressing. She walked over to her bed and undressed as well. I lay down and closed my eyes because I didn’t want to even think about it. I lay there for a while just wondering who Taylor was actually in love with.
It knocked lightly on our door. In came Salt. She looked over at me. “You’re back? Did it go okay?” she asked carefully as she walked closer. I nodded and sat up again. “Yeah, I guess. We found her and she’s living,” I said. Salt nodded and sat down beside me. “Where are they?” she asked. I shighed as I thought about where they were and what the might be doing. I blushed. “Well they’re probably catching up in private since well I was a bit in the way,” I said. Taylor blushed as she looked at me. I shook my head a little.
“Helen and Kelly?” Salt asked a little confused. I nodded. She frowned. “Really?” she asked. I sighed. “Yeah, Helen didn’t want to tell me she was my mother, apparently she was scared I’d hate her. I don’t know,” I said. Salt looked a little shocked at me and then smiled a little. “You really should have calculated that out. She’s been very particular about being like a parent for you since you arrived here,” she said. I shrugged and looked down at my hands. “I guess, I just don’t want to deal with it now,” I said and looked out the window slightly.
Taylor sighed at the other end a little. “Well I just wanted to see if you were okay. I know Taylor didn’t want to go to classes today. At least it’s Saturday tomorrow so neither has to go to classes,” Slat said and smiled a little. I hugged her lightly. “Yes, thank god,” I said. She smiled and got up and waved as she left.
Taylor smiled lightly on the other side. “What?” I asked a little confused at her sudden amusement. “You don’t like hugging people do you,” she said. I sighed. “No, not unless I… No,” I said and tried to put off every weird feeling I get when I’m around her. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I trust Taylor, I like her, but it feels weird and it scares me. She nodded and looked down at her hands a little. “So you don’t like it when I hugged you before,” she asked a little lower. I frowned.
“No, I liked it!... I mean it’s different. There are different kind of hugs. The once that you have to do, you know if you can see that they are expecting that of you but you don’t emotionally feel like you want to but do because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Then there’s the once that are just friendly and short. Then there are those where you can barely make yourself let go of them,” I said and looked down a little. “So what am I?” she asked. I looked at her and frowned a little. “I don’t know, you’re different,” I answered. She looked at me as there was a long silence between us. I slid down and tried to sleep.
“Taylor, are you going to tell me who it is?” I asked after a little while. She was quiet for a while. “Yeah, I will,” she answered. “When?” I asked carefully as I was turned away from her. “I don’t know. Just not now. It’d be so awkward and I really don’t want to talk about it,” she whispered a little. I sighed. “Is it someone at this school?” I asked. Maybe she wouldn’t tell me because it’s someone we hate or maybe it’s Nick. No, not Nick, she wouldn’t like him. They don’t even get along. “Yes,” she answered. I bit my lip.
“Have you told them?” I asked. She sighed. “No, I wouldn’t,” she said and I could hear that it bothered her. “It’s not Nick is it? I mean, you can’t stand him at all,” I said. She chuckled a little lightly. “No, I wouldn’t ever. Wow, do you think I’m that pathetic?” she asked a bit in disbelieve. I turned around. “No, I just had to be sure, because that would have been so freaking hard to understand. I mean he’s cute and all, but I couldn’t ever imagine… no,” I said. She smiled lightly as she looked at me. “It’s no one remotely like Nick,” she said. I nodded and looked down. “Why haven’t you told that person?” I asked. She sighed a little.
“Because… I don’t know, I feel really stupid about it and I really don’t want that person to turn around and just walk out. Some days it feels like someone is playing a sick joke on me,” she whispered. I frowned a little. “Are you sad about it?” I asked then. She held eye contact with me. “I don’t know. I mean, yes, I guess, but then again it’s not something I should be sad about, but Safire, I really don’t want to talk about it,” she said and I could feel sadness down to my core, like clinging ice spreading. I nodded and closed my eyes.
© Copyright 2016 Jamie L Monster. All rights reserved.
Book / Gay and Lesbian
Book / Gay and Lesbian
Book / Gay and Lesbian
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