The Devil's Inglorious Advocate

Status: Finished

The Devil's Inglorious Advocate

Status: Finished

This content is spam! Only visible to super-moderators.
The Devil's Inglorious Advocate The Devil's Inglorious Advocate

Book by: Jan Gabriel

Details

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Summary

This is a curiously twisted narration of a story set in Hell, about a man named Randy, and about the things he will be doing in the days to come. It is not at all horrific or terrifying; it is only ingloriously unsettling, and for those who enjoy a bit of hellish humor it will be something that you will most likely enjoy.

Summary

This is a curiously twisted narration of a story set in Hell, about a man named Randy, and about the things he will be doing in the days to come. It is not at all horrific or terrifying; it is only ingloriously unsettling, and for those who enjoy a bit of hellish humor it will be something that you will most likely enjoy.

Author Chapter Note

In this short introduction to the story, our narrator tells us a little bit about Hell that may interest first-time visitors.

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: April 26, 2012

Reads: 50

Comments: 2

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: April 26, 2012

A A A

A A A

I am Legion, for We are many.

Welcome to Hell. Call it what you must—the dark crevices of the underworld, the palace of doom and gloom, the house of nightmares, etcetera. Ah, goodness gracious. You humans certainly do have a way with words.

Welcome to Hell. It is our home, sweet home… home, bittersweet home.

Actually, a lot that has been said about Hell have been a tad bitexaggerated—although we would be lying if we said they weren’t at leastpartiallytrue—and any self-respecting denizen of the netherworld will tell you so. Before anything else, we would like to make clear a few things:

Firstly, Hell is not a dark crevice. In stark contrast to that statement, Hell happens to be very well-lit in most places. But that goes without saying, seeing as how there’sfireeverywhere, although on some days we turn to other alternative sources of light when we start running low on wood and coal (and raw human flesh, but they’re hardly the most effective heat conductors so we usually save those for the surprise birthday parties). Desk lamps, for example. We like desk lamps. The ones with the pretty blue ribbons especially.

Secondly, Hell is notjusta palace of doom and gloom, but then again that would depend heavily on who exactly you were referring to. If you were talking about the poor souls who end up in our den of pleasures for whatever reason then yes, doom and gloom are served in hefty spoonfuls here (sometimes bucketfuls, when we decide to spice up the routine). If you were referring to us demons, then the more appropriate words would be “giddy” and “minimum wage”. We are actually quite happy with our careers as executioners of infinite woe and agony, but we feel somewhat underpaid considering all the effort we put into our kind and honest work.

And third, who needs nightmares? Our very existence is a God-damn nightmare, literally and metaphorically speaking. We would not want it any other way.

Now then, on to the story.


© Copyright 2016 Jan Gabriel. All rights reserved.

Add Your Comments:

Comments

avatar

Author
Reply

avatar

Author
Reply

Other Content by Jan Gabriel

Add picture

Paste the link to picture in the entry below:

— or —

Drag a picture from your file manager into this box,
or click to select.

Add video

Paste the link to Youtube video in the following entry:

Existing Comments:
Bad selection

Cannot annotate a non-flat selection. Make sure your selection starts and ends within the same node.

(example of bad selection): This is bold text and this is normal text.
(example of good selection): This is bold text and this is normal text.
Bad selection

An annotation cannot contain another annotation.

Anonymous
Really delete this comment?
Anonymous
Really delete this comment?

There was an error uploading your file.


    
Anonymous