Birthed by a monster

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Sorry about the lack of italics, I need to update from my phone since my laptop crashed...

Chapter 44 (v.1) - (43) Walls

Submitted: May 19, 2017

Reads: 71

Comments: 1

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Submitted: May 19, 2017



Sucking in a large relieved breath, I turned to my side and curled into myself. My head buried into the street floor as I shook, hot tears pouring out my eyes.

I was terrified, relieved, disgusted along other emotions fused along the lines. Sobs left my lips before I could stop them, ripping me from the inside out.

Commotion was heard around, violent commotion but it was drowned out by the heavy thumping of my heartbeat.

I tried gathering myself, telling myself they hadn’t done anything yet, raped me yet. This was my chance; I could make a run for it. But I couldn’t bring myself to sit up right let alone stand to my feet.

A set of hands gently grazed my shoulder and I freaked. Flinching away, a scream tore from me. “Thea, it’s okay. It’s just me, Slick,” a familiar voice filtered through my scream but it did little to help.

I knew I didn’t have to worry about him. It was just him, Slick, the guy who just saved me. But he was still a male and I was still shaken up.

I shook my head, feeling relieved when his touch left me. “P-please, don’t touch m-me,” I whimpered, my voice creaking like I mentally and emotionally was.

My body curled into a tighter ball, like the smaller I was the less I’d seize to exist in that moment. My little porcelain doll, cooed my mother’s voice and this time, I accepted it.

I was weak, I felt it spread through every square inche of my body, feeding off the memories of what happened moments ago.

It went quiet, Slick not attempting to touch me again and I let myself fall apart on the cold streets.

Then, he did something that soothed me more than I thought it ever could. He sang to me, voice softly filling my eyes.

“though everyone said that she was so strong But they didn’t know is that she could barely carry on But she knew that she would be okay So she didn’t let it get in her way”

The lyrics were more than just an understatement, but it made my sobs less violent, allowing me to slowly regain control over my shaking body.

“sometimes it all gets a little too much But you gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up And you don’t have to be afraid Because we’re all the same And we know that sometimes it all gets a little too much”

The longer he sang, the more the emotions began to drain from me and his voice was simply a hum in the back of my mind. I suddenly felt cold but emotionally, I was numb.

I had cried every tear I could shed and was now like the porcelain doll my mother used to call me.

Fragile and empty inside. My body became slack the more I listened to him. Then, finally, I was really to go home.

“Slick?” I called to him, voice low and raspy. Opening my eyes, I looked up towards the twinkling stars above.

“Can we go home?”

In moments, I felt his hands touch me and a zip of panic flared. But it was gone just as quick as it came, allowing him to lift me off the ground and cradle me into his chest.

I clung to his shirt, feeling a form of comfort in his warmth, his presence. “Thank you,” I whispered, feeling the wild thumping of his heart beat.

I felt a kiss in my hair and although I stiffened up, I liked the gesture. “I’m just glad I got to you in time.” “How bad did you hurt them?” I couldn’t help but wonder.

“They probably won’t wake up for a couple of days.” Shutting my eyes as if blocking out the memory, I croaked, “You could’ve done worse.” “That I could. But you’re more important.”

- - -

That night, I had forced Slick to stay the night with me, just sharing the same space as me. I hated that knowing he was around would keep me calm, but I couldn’t function without him.

It scared me, that I needed him the way I did, that I couldn’t deal with this on my own how I’d like.

I woke up with nightmares, entering my fears five times that night as the dreams all revolved around the same thing. In them, Slick didn’t come to save me, and there were more than just two men.

It was darker, scarier, and more torturous as they passed my body around like it was meat. Slick didn’t know about these nightmares because every time I woke up I made sure to swallow down my screams.

Tears would sting my eyes and my stomach would be sick with nausea. I’d find myself watching Slick sleep in the nearest corner of my room, taking my mind off things just long enough for me to fall back to sleep.

The following day finally arrived and I stretched from my corner. I’d slept in the corner opposite Slick who refused to take the bed because I was supposed to be there.

We’d made a deal, if I slept in the bed then he’d stay with me. I complied, till the second I heard his soft snores then I curled up in a corner on the ground.

I was quick to get up and leave the room, not wanting Slick to find out I had broken the deal.

Last night’s events played in my head and I could feel my skin shift, like it no longer fit as right as it used to. It itched, needing to rid of the memory, the clothes that marked what happened.

A pounding went off in my head and I swayed, dizzy. I brought my hand to the back of my skull and quickly pulled away when the pounding got worse. Gaining my bearings, I took slower steps.

When finally getting to the bathroom, I took a deep breath before turning around to face my reflection.

What I saw was worse than I expected. I was paler than usual, a little sick looking. My face was littered with dark bruises along with some finger marks on my throat. The base of my throat was sporting a nasty hickey and bile shot up my throat.

Dark bags hung beneath my sunken eyes and I looked like I’d been in a fight. My gaze quickly fell to my feet, forcing down flash backs from last night. “Thea,” I heard Slick call from behind me.

Looking over my shoulder, I met his angry gaze. “Yeah?” my voice was low as I slowly began to retreat into my barriers. When thoughts about yesterday’s events came flooding in, their blow quickly lost their power. Eventually, I was just empty.

Alive but not really living.

Slick stood out the door, a couple feet away from me, as if too afraid to come nearer. Nodding out the door, he said, “Let me clean you up.”

I shook my head, eyes blank as well as my voice, “It’s okay, I’ll be fine bymyself.” I walked towards the door and when he opened his mouth to protest, I had shut the slab of wood in his face.

I didn’t need anyone, especially not him. My heart flickered with a moment of guilt at what I did, but my barriers quickly shut it out. Stripping my clothes, I threw them out the window I’d snuck out from.

Although the action didn’t benefit me now, it would keep me sane when my walls would fall. Standing stark naked, I took one last peek in the mirror.

I felt nothing when a broken girl looked back at me, because I knew that she’d soon be stronger eventually. Then, turning away, I stepped into the shower and got to work on cleaning myself up.

- - -

Fully dressed and patched up, I went for the kitchen. Slick instantly caught my eye, seated at the counter with his head down and borrows pulled together in thought. Walking over, I stood in front of him and cleared my throat, his eyes snapped to mine.

They were in a similar state as my own, tired. I placed my phone on the contour that sat between us, switching it on and logged into the app Ronald installed for me.

“I have an idea where Mason is. His card’s been active lately and this app tells me where and when he uses it. Right now, we’re heading in the wrong direction.”

Pointing at a popped up notification, I continued, “We need to head to L.A, two towns east from here. We should get there in a couple of days.” Slick stared blankly at the screen before eyes rose to meet mine.

“That’s all you want to tell me?” his voice hinting towards something I didn’t have the patients to try and name.

“Yes, and we should probably leave within an hour if we want to get there fast enough to find him.” At the prospect of finding his brother, his eyes lit up yet I couldn’t understand why he frowned too.

Clearing away his thoughts, he said, “I know you broke our deal last night.” I shrugged, “I don’t like sleeping in beds.

“It’s stupid, uncomfortable and nowhere near safe if someone had to attack me in my sleep.” His frown deepened, “You don’t need to worry too much about being safe when I’m in the same room as you. I can protect you, you know.”

Grabbing my phone, I put it back into my packet and made my way towards the sink for a cup of tea. “How’re you so sure? Besides, I don’t want to depend on you so much because somewhere along the line, you’ll let me down and I’ll have to rely on myself again.”

As I pulled out a cup from one of the cabinets, I heard him say, “I’d never let you down, at least not purposefully, anyways. I’m only human and I’m bound to fuck up sometime but you can still trust that I’ll try to be there for you.”

I snorted, somehow managing to feel humor through my cold barriers, “Trust? Don’t you remember, I have issues with that but I trust you in some ways. Just not entirely with my safety. I’ve only had myself to save my ass; it’s hard to see it any other way.”

With a push of a button, I flipped on the kettle and as I waited on it to boil, I found some sugar and poured some into my cup.

Nothing was said after a while and the minute the kettle was ready, I popped in a tea bag, poured my water and left.

- - -

Hours later and we were back on the road. I seat in the passenger seat, eyes locked on the scrutiny. They were becoming heavy, my barriers.

Getting increasingly difficult to hold up as I mentally tried keeping them where they were. I could feel myself getting tired the longer I fought but I refused to give into my emotions.

Just a few days, that’s all I wanted before I’d get back to reality. “Loner,” Slick said from besides me. A glance his way allowed him to continue.

“You shouldn’t do that.” I offered a blank stare, “Do what?” Blowing out a huff, he gestured towards me, “That, shutting everything out.”

I shook my head, “There’s nothing wrong with me doing that. I’ve done it a long time now and it works better than dealing with it.”

A robot flashed red from up ahead and Slick slows down, “So you’re running from your problem instead of facing it head on. That’s a little cowardice.”

I felt a small burst of anger at his insult, “No it’s not. I know that what’s trying to pick at my head could break me and I don’t know how long it’ll take me to recover. Shutting it out prevents it from happening.”

He snorted, “You’re wrong. You’re going to have to let yourself feel. Sure, you might break a little but it’s better to deal with your emotions in small doses.

“Because someday, all the emotions you’ve suppressed are going to explode. I don’t think you actually wanna be around when that happens.”

“Why do you care anyways, let me deal with it how I want.”

The anger I’d felt was gone as quick as it came and I was back to feeling empty, voice void of feelings.

When the light turned green, Slick had us speeding forward, clearly allowing his frustration to manipulate his senses.

He ran a hand through his hair, “Really, Loner? Haven’t I proved to you that I cared, I’ve even told you straight up. I don’t want you shattered when everything boils up then spills over.”

My metal glass room began to crack beneath the pressure my heart wanted me to feel. I tried closing them up when emotions began to tickle in, slowly filling me back up. That’s not what I wanted.

“It’ll take my chances.” Was my final say when snapping my eyes back to my window. I thought over Slick’s words then it happened.

The glass shattered and it was just me. The me who felt crushed about last night, who was getting worked up over how fucked up my life seemed to get.

Just me left to my emotions that crashed into me like a train. Tears swam in my eyes and I held back a sniff, hiding my state from Slick. Flickers from last night played in my head and I willed myself to hold it together.

I had my chance to break down back in the streets, and I did. That was enough, I had to move past that. No display of weakness because I knew I was stronger than that.

A palm covers my hand and I stiffen, looking at Slick through the window, not wanting to show my face. My nose sniffed without consent and I cursed myself.

Slick’s thumb rubbed the top of my hand before gently lifting it up and entwined our fingers. “It’s alright to feel sometimes, it makes us human.”

I pressed my lips together, my vision getting more blurred by the second yet no tears fell. “I don’t want it to break me,” I whispered hoarsely, swallowing a sudden lump in my throat.

“You already are, but that’s okay. Being broken is okay because we can use the shattered pieces to build something new. In your case, destroy the porcelain doll to build a woman of steel.”

He squeezed my hand for effect and I returned his gesture, turning my face to him. It felt weird yet right, to show him how raw I was right then.

“I hope so,” I whispered back. And from then, there was no turning back from what I felt for him.

He was surreal, sometimes I’d think God had been a bit unfair with Slick. Slick was beyond handsome, not exactly the model kind of good looking but he was a little rough around the edges with his crooked nose and faint scar on his jaw.

But it just seemed to add value to him, and right now, I didn’t just see him as this strikingly good looking guy but as the guy who I was slowly starting to fall for.

His beauty went far beyond appearance but skin deep, so deep I felt like I could just reach out and touch his heart. I was never really drawn by his looks, only once I was slowly uncovering who he was.

The looks were just a bonus, a really good bonus.

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