Birthed by a monster

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

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Chapter 47 (v.1) - (46)Trust

Submitted: June 09, 2017

Reads: 81

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A A A | A A A

Submitted: June 09, 2017

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I was conflicted.

Should I go out and haul Kaden’s angry ass back to our hotel or just leave him be? When moments passed with my hand still frozen on the handle of the front door, I figured he was already long gone.

I let out a sigh, head pressed over the wood of the door and shut my eyes. Kaden took the news a little worse than I thought.

When I reached my hand out and told him not to look for a fight, he flinched from me like I had rabies.

It stung, but when watching the hot rage burn within his eyes and his stiff posture, I didn’t stop him from storming right out the door.

Clearing my thoughts about our setbacks, I pulled out my phone. Instead of checking the app, I did it to check what tests I had this week.

Yes, I hadn’t dropped my schooling, it’s just been a little hard making time for it without Kaden ever finding out about it. I’m not sure why I was really hiding all this from him, maybe it’ because I’m afraid to face him with all this goes to hell.

What if I actually failed this semester, or couldn’t keep up with the work it brought? It was better to work alone rather than under the pressure of witnesses.

Reading through my textbooks on my phone, minutes turned to hours. Before I knew it, it was dark out. Again, I was conflicted.

Wait till Kaden got back or sort out to look for him. I wasn’t terrified about going out but I’ll admit I felt uneasy, a sick feeling in my stomach.

Shaking my head, I figured I’d have to find him. What if he actually lost his fights, the thought seemed impossible but…

Standing up from my seat on the floor, I stalked over towards the door and swallowed down my uneasiness. Ripping the door open before I could chicken out, I took a shocked step back at the view behind it.

Kaden was sporting a bruised cheek and a cut near his eyebrow. He looked roughen up, clothes far dirtier than when he’d left and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he’d just rolled off a cliff.

Our eyes locked, stunned brown ones with tired grey ones. My heart went out to him, hand hesitantly reaching out to lead him inside. When he doesn’t flinch, I pulled him in and closed the door behind him.

I took a look at his hands, not surprised to find them all bruised up and bloodied. Not a word was uttered when I brought him to the kitchen, pulling out a clothe and wet it at the sink.

My throat felt stuck, wanting to say a million things at once but having no idea how to word it out right. Kaden held a blank stare when I approached him, silently letting me take care of him.

I would’ve done it even if he didn’t want to. This was what I was aspiring to be, nursing people back to their feet. Not emotionally of course. I started with his face, wiping away any traces of blood and grim.

I made sure to avoid his eyes, quickly finishing the job before attending to his knuckles. I felt his hand twitch when I’d sometimes be a little rough, forcing an apology on my lips that I’d be quick to swallow.

Although it wasn’t much, it’d have to teach him to listen to me. I told him he’d get hurt if he went out there but he’d never listen.

Never. Because I’d always have to force him to stay inside.

“I knew this’d happen,” I heard him mumble, words rough to my ears. I only spared him a glance, but held my silence, continuing what I was doing.

“Mason’s smart, he wouldn’t be stupid enough to stay in the same city for too long and do the same things every day.

“It’s like signing up to get caught in less than a week.” There was a long pause while I moved onto the next hand, no longer feeling the need to be a little rough.

He shouldn’t have gone out to fight, I wouldn’t need to be cleaning him up right now. “We’re still going to hit those shops like we’ve been doing for the past couple of days and this time catch the bastard that has my brother’s card.”

I just nodded, not like I hadn’t thought about it before. When he was done, I left the room. There was no bandaging him up when I hadn’t seen a first aid kit since we’ve been here.

He could look after himself now, like he always claimed he could.

- - -

The next day, we were back at our spot and this time I knew who I was looking for. This time, I didn’t need tea to keep me up, just the burning desire to finally get a solid lead on where Mason is.

The person who’s got his card would know the answer to that. Right now, I was just dying to know.

Kaden and I sat opposite another, not a word was said between us all morning, I made sure of that. Truthfully, I was still a little pissed about him running off yesterday.

I told him he’d get hurt, but when did he ever listen? My eyes fixed on the tills as I held my phone in hand; ready to listen for when it chimed.

Ding.

Strangely, no one had ordered or paid for anything. A little confused, I took a look at the notification. My heart sunk a bit when I read its contents.

The person was at a gas station on the other side of the city, nowhere near their usual spot. I prayed this person wasn’t changing routine, or worse, leaving the city.

Picking out another pattern would take us all week. I didn’t have that kind of patience. Without a word, I slid my phone over to Kaden who took a look as well.

His eyes darkened on the screen then snapped up to me, speaking for the first time today, “You think they’re changing up routine?” I offered a nod, getting up and leaving the store.

Footfalls behind me let me know Kaden was following. We hopped in the car and took a silent drive home. Right now, I felt like I needed a little break from everything.

All these dead ends were getting tiring and I was seriously starting to question if Mason was even alive or still on this planet. The minute Kaden parked at the hotel, I shot out the car and right up to our room.

Just when I was making my way further into our bedroom, a hand clasped around my wrist. I tensed, enduring a moment of wild panic. Forcing it down, I spun around.

Kaden stared me down with a look, “What’s wrong with you? You haven’t said a word since yesterday.” I shrugged and tugged my wrist away from him, taking a step back. “Talk, Loner.”

Yeah, right. Like you’d listen to anything I had to say. Why can’t you just leave already, I’m tired, I just need a break. Those were the things I wanted to say to him, but I just turned away and walked over towards the window. A sigh met my ears before I felt a hand fall on my shoulder.

I stiffened then instantly relaxed, irritated that my stupid fears wouldn’t just die down already. I hated how I couldn’t have someone touch me without me having a small panic attack, thinking I was going to get hurt.

But it’s like the saying goes, old habits die hard. Kaden didn’t say anything, his warmth heating my back.

Everything in me just wanted to get over my petty anger and talk to him. I wanted him to do this thing where all my shitty problems disappear and breathes a new kind of life into my soul.

But that’d be too easy, cowardice, to hide from my problems. Kaden was right, I did run from them but now I needed to stop, to just stand my ground and face it head on.

So, I opened my mouth and said, “I told you not to go out yesterday, that you’d get hurt.

“You didn’t listen to me, like always. I feel like this is how it’s going to be all the time. I warn you not to do something and you do it anyways.”

“I’m sorry. Yesterday’s news wasn’t something I wanted to hear, another setback that I knew was coming. I had to clear my head, and for me, singing wasn’t going to cut it this time.”

Deep down, I understood, I just felt the need to push him away a bit. I thought I wanted to be alone but I was wrong, I was just too proud to admit I wanted his company to cheer me up.

Spinning around to face him, I looked into his dusky eyes and asked, “Are we still going to look for this person, even if they changed their routine?”

He nodded, “I doubt they changed their routine, they probably just had a little setback. So we’ll head out again today, where we always go.”

Now that I was no longer upset with him, I remembered why I didn’t look him in the eyes. My desire for him burned my insides. Trying to look away was useless.

I couldn’t, even if my life depended on it. “Don’t run off like that again, I know you can handle yourself but I don’t like being the one to patch you up.”

He nodded but I don’t think he really got it. Leaning towards him, I spoke, “I’m serious, Slick.” “I know. And don’t call me that anymore, it’s okay to hear my name once in a while.”

Something exploded in my chest and leaked into my blood stream. Although he didn’t say it, it meant a lot to allow me to say his name, I could tell by the glint in his eyes.

“Alright, Kaden.” His name rolled off my tongue like honey, it was like I was telling a sweet secret. And it was, hardly anyone knew his name and I couldn’t believe he trusted me enough to let me know it.

Kaden’s eyes became hooded, intense stare freezing me in place as he leaned in. My mind went off with warning bells.

The reminder of that night still present in my system. They quickly turned to ashes beneath his stare. It’s been a while, since Kaden and I did anything like this and I knew if I kept reminding myself it was just him, then I’d be okay.

Kaden was cautiously nearing me, his warmth slowly seeping into my skin. My heart began to pound, pumping anticipation into my veins.

I didn’t move, waiting like I always did. When our lips were a hair apart, I held my breath as Kaden’s heavy dusky eyes bored into mine.

Move. Just kiss me already.

I didn’t say this out loud because I knew my eyes said it all. “Remember your promise,” he whispered, his breath lapsing over my lips and I had to hold back from kissing him first.

“What?” I’m not even sure what I said, a little too lost in my own world of desire. “A smile for a kiss.” I frowned, “I can’t .” “You could if I helped with that,” he contoured, humoring me.

I stifled a snort, about to wish him luck but his lips swallowed what I wanted to say. He didn’t move, staying frozen in case I wanted to pull away.

When being hit with awful memories, I really wanted to. But the minute I breathed in his scent, I just wanted draw nearer. It’s just Kaden.

I let my mouth move over his, relaxing when he led me into a slow kiss. My hips tingled when he gently held onto me and my heart raced at the speed of light. I moved my hands, gripping his biceps as I leaned in a little closer.

I missed this. Him. And all that pent up want was just spilling out, the kiss gradually picking up speed the longer it progressed. Letting out a sigh, I invited him in when he’s too cautious to ask.

He accepted, tongue meeting mine and his sweet taste filled my mouth. My head spun and my knees felt weak, results of his touch. I pressed closer to him when he took a small step back. It was a little game, maintaining our contact when he’d shuffle away.

Before I knew it, Kaden fell backwards, suddenly sitting down and I landed in his lap. I let out a gasp, about to pull away to see what happened but his hands snaked around my back, pressing me further into him.

My body moved on its own, hands racking through his hair and tugged, kissing him a little rougher. He groaned.

I felt his coarse fingers slip past my shirt and touch my skin and whimpered at his strong grip; desire gradually building up inside me. “Kaden,” I whispered his name, my breath mingling with his.

He grunted in response, his hold tightening. I loved how his name felt on my lips, it felt like… trust. He trusted me to know it, to say it…moan it.

I ripped my lips away from his, breathing harshly as I pressed my forehead to his. Shutting my eyes, I clenched my hand in his hair, the want for him still not satisfied. I felt nervousness slowly bubble up inside me but I put a lid on it.

“I wanna show you,” I aired, my voice slightly strained. “What?” Closing my eyes tighter, I gulped in a large breath and clarified. “My scars, I want to show them to you.”

My hips suddenly felt cold when his hands left me, only to feel his fingers graze my chin. “Thea,” he coaxed and I opened my eyes. I wasn’t surprised to find him already staring at me.

“If this is about our game from a while back-” I shook my head, “No, I want to show you. I trust you, you need to know that.” We maintained eye contact, his gaze searching for any lies. Lies I didn’t harbor.

“I know you trust me, you’ve proved it enough. You don’t have to do this.” “I said I want to, not that I felt the need to.”

Honestly, I did. Something just pushed me into showing him, let him know I trusted him. After a pause, he nodded and I swallowed down my uneasiness.

Deep down, I just hoped he wouldn’t react too badly to it. Would he even look at me the same way after this? Would I regret it? “Where are they?” Kaden asked, eyes seeming dim.

“Under my shirt,” I made a move to lift it up but his hands fell over mine. “Would you mind?” he asked next and I shook my head.

Letting him do it was a lot easier than doing it myself. “I don’t have to close my eyes, do I?” His attempt at humoring me had worked.

I snorted slightly, my thoughts running back to when I couldn’t undress myself. I didn’t answer, I didn’t need to. Instead, I held onto his shoulders and tried to guard his reaction.

His hands clasped the material and I held my breath. My heart froze in anticipation. One thought ran through my head as he slowly began to raise my shirt.

Please don’t make me regret this.

The minute he raised it by an inch, I panicked, my mouth ran before I could think, “Wait! Take off your shirt.” I didn’t want to be the only person in the spot light, exposed.

His eyes shot up, “My shirt?” his tone seemed a little teasing but mostly confused. “I want to see your tattoos if you’re going to look at my scars.” “You’ve seen them already.” I nodded, “But I want to see them again.”

You need to be vulnerable too.

The look in his eyes told me he knew what I was doing, but decided not to call me out on it. I was grateful. He let go of my shirt to grab the hem of his hoodie.

I wanted to do the unveiling, the craving boiled in my blood stream. But I held back, feeling embarrassed to ask because soon, it’d be my turn to strip.

In one swift motion, it was up his torso and off his head. Hot, it suddenly go increasingly hot in here when I looked at him.

My hands itched, wanting to run over every exposed surface of firm skin. Kaden wasn’t a ripped kind of guy, but he was lean and a little muscular.

To me, his body was perfect. Finally, I had the chance to read the inky chapters that marked his skin. So beautiful, simple yet beautiful.

“Your turn,” Kaden’s voice pulled me out my haze. My heated eyes met his, feeling a sudden sense of insecurity.

I was wrong, he looked anything but vulnerable, while my scars were butchered, harsh and angry looking, his seemed like he’d survived a war and those were his medals of achievement.

He slowly clasped my shirt once more, my eyes trying to focus more on his tattoos than his expression.

I failed.

The higher he got, the darker his eyes became and his muscles tightened beneath my hands. Dread filled my gut, I felt like I was going to be sick.

I watched his eyes flicker from a pale scar to a butchered one then the next. His jaw ticked and I was just waiting for him to wretch away from me in disgust.

With a sudden flame licking behind his dark eyes, he looked up to me and spat, “He did this to you?” The anger behind his voice was chilling. He didn’t wait for a reply, continuing to raise my shirt till it came off.

I felt cold without it, seated in a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. I suddenly felt embarrassed, wanting to hide myself from his stare.

But I promised myself I’d let him see. I couldn’t leave. I gasped when I’m suddenly on my back, body sinking into a mattress.

After a few seconds of panic, I focused back on Kaden who was hunched over my torso. His eyes flashed with so many emotions; anger, disgust, sadness then back to anger.

I shivered when he traced a scar with his fingers, his skin barely grazing mine then, his eyes shot up to meet my stare.

“I was wrong, you know, when I said you were fragile. I’ve never met anyone who went through what you did and still found a reason to live the next day.”

Before I could react to his words, he kissed one of my scars. I froze, shocked at the action. He didn’t reject me, he wasn’t disgusted. When he kissed another scar, my heart swelled with relief.

My insecurities slowly left my body the more affection he showered me, his touch soft and careful; like I’d fall apart if he pressed too hard.

His hands held onto my waist as he traveled higher while I let my hand move to a tattoo on his shoulder, slowly tracing it with my finger. Hot liquid pooled in regions I’m too embarrassed to name, the more time progressed as I returned the favor, loving his scars like he did mine.

Except, ours were different.

While his were his story, mine were my strength, reminding me to never let my father shatter me inside and out. I had to hold strong, and with every passing day, I was one step closer to being victorious.

I shivered when he passed the small swells of my breasts and simply kissed freckled skin. Everything about him was overwhelming by then, his body centimeters above mine and his mouth now grazing my lips.

He looked me in the eye, cutting right through me. “Is it weird that I still find you fucking breathtaking even with your scars?”

Elation shot through my chest and set my skin alight. Without thought, I nodded, a short, light laugh spilling from my mouth. At the sound, his eyes warmed in ways that made my stomach twist. “Told you I’d get you to smile,” he whispered before he’s kissing me again, hard and rough.

It’s then an intense sensation rushed through my veins, too strong to ignore. Deep down, I knew I liked Kaden more than just a crush. But on the surface, I wasn’t ready to accept it.


© Copyright 2018 kalaxis. All rights reserved.

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