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God we had been here for two fucking hours listening to the duke box and I watched as the guys threw back drink after drink.
Getting to my feet I started to head for the bathroom but Kane again stopped me by grabbing my arm “where do you think you are going Bell?” I sighed turning to face him “I am going to the bathroom okay and no one is going to come in there with me.”
He tightened his hold on my arm “if you are any longer then five minutes Bell I will be coming in there” he warned making me give an angry groan.
In the bathroom I quickly set everything up and had just taken the first three lines from my little mirror and had set up another three when the bathroom door was thrown open and I found myself thrown on the floor as a very angry Kane stood looking down at what I had been doing.
He swung around to face me his dark green eyes impossibly dark with anger “you are in here doing cocaine?” He leaned down closer making me shrink in fear “fucking cocaine are you completely fucking mad?” He shouted making me shake.
He grabbed my arm so hard I knew that it would bruise then he pulled me off the floor pushing my face close to the white powder “if you want to fucking kill yourself then go ahead right now kill yourself Bell don’t let me stop you.”
With tears rolling down my cheeks I tried to pull away from him but when he wouldn’t release me I started to beg “please Kane I’m sorry” I sobbed trying again to get my arm away from him but that only resulted in him holding my arm tighter “sorry Bell for what for lying to me for still doing shit like this what exactly are you sorry for?” I sobbed harder as his hand started to crush my bones “please you are hurting me.”
He pushed his face close to mine and spat “hurting you oh baby I haven’t began to hurt you yet.”
Picking up the mirror he smashed it against the wall then he dragged me out of the bathroom and over to the others still sitting at the table drinking “fucking tell them” Kane snarled, I shook my head not wanting my brother to get angry at me like Kane did “tell them what you were fucking doing in bathroom” Kane shouted making others look towards us.
Dana and Larry stopped serving other customers and came over to see what was going on “Kane why are you shouting at Annie?” Larry asked in fatherly concern.
Kane shook my arm I cried out then started to sob even more “this little bitch was snorting cocaine in the bathroom” he shouted.
Dana and Larry looked at me in horror that quickly turned to anger “you were doing that shit in my bar?” Larry shouted shaking in anger making Dana put a calming hand on his arm “Annie I think you should go” I started to nod but Nigel shot to his feet “she isn’t leaving until she has flushed every single bit of that shit down the toilet and told us who fucking sold it to her.”
looking up to face the anger and disappointment in my brother’s eyes was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do “I haven’t got anymore” I lied, which was true I didn’t have anymore on me because the rest was hidden at Stan’s house.
Nigel crossed his arms “who sold it to you?” I shook my head feeling Kane’s fingers grinding into my bones “I am not telling you who sold it to me.”
Nigel shook his head in disappointment “what the hell happened to you Annie even after Reece you never turned to drugs” I blushed guiltily and Kane gave an angry grunt “then I guess she hid that from you well because she did it just wasn’t anything like this shit.”
Nigel looked at me in shock “you were doing drugs even back then what was it?” I shrugged carelessly “just pot” he slammed his fists down on the table making me jump and cry out in fear “pot just fucking pot it is never just fucking pot Annie what the fuck were you thinking?”
Dropping my head I sobbed as Dana again asked me to leave the bar.
Kane dragged me out the door and over to his car practically throwing me into the passenger seat before jumping into the driver’s seat and pealing out of the car park with aloud screech of tires.
Cringing back into the seat I didn’t dare look at him instead kept my head down biting my lip against more sobs.
When we got back to the mansion he pulled me from the car and inside.
He dragged me to the lounge room and threw me down on the couch standing over me while he waited for the others to join us.
Nigel and Blake entered the lounge room and stood next to him making me feel so small and scared faced with their anger.
“Alright Annie we know that you are lying about not having anymore so where have you got it hidden?” Blake growled “I, I hid it in the toilet system in my bathroom.”
He nodded then left the room his foot steps pounding up the stairs as he went to get it.
Nigel looked at me with tears in his eyes “I can’t believe you Annie when I agreed that you could go to New York it was because I trusted you and now you have just proven to me and everyone that cares about you that you can not be trusted.”
As a tear slid down his cheek he gave me one last look of betrayal before swinging around and leaving the room.
Now I was only faced with Kane’s anger but even that was bad enough when he just stood over me not saying anything but his angry eyes said it all.
When I would have gotten to my feet and went to my room he shoved me back down “no you stay there until you tell me who sold you that shit” I shook my head “no I can’t” he leant down making me push back into the back of the couch “tell me who the fuck it was.”
Taking a shaky breath I forced myself to tell him “Corky Kingston he lives on the south side of town.”
Kane stood backup looking at me in disbelief “you went to that fat fucking womanizer to buy drugs do you know what he could have done to you?” I nodded wincing as I remembered exactly what he could have done to me.
Spinning around Kane started to leave the room “I thought that I knew you Bell but I guess I was really wrong” he said harshly before leaving the room, I buried my face into my hands and sobbed as I realized just how bad I had screwed up not only did Kane and Blake hate me but also Dana, Larry and the guys but the worst was seeing how disappointed Nigel was with me.
Blake came back downstairs and stuck his head through the door “it’s gone and I warn you if you ever bring that shit into my uncle’s house near my niece again I will do more then put you over my knee.”
When he was gone I got shakily to my feet and made my way upstairs.
Lying down on the bed I stared up at the roof through blurry eyes filled with tears.
"Hurt" Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you.
squeezing my eyes closed I held my chest “oh god mama you would be so ashamed of me and what I have become but I don’t know what to do without the drugs I can not sleep without the drugs I can barely make it through the days but seeing how disappointed Nigel is hurts so much.”
Rolling onto my side I curled into a ball “mama what am I supposed to do when I live in house with men that I am so scared of and Nigel is one of them.”
A hand stroked my hair “believe in your brother and that he knows what he is doing” I turned my head to find Nigel looking down at me with red swollen eyes “believe that you know what you are doing, do you Nig do you really know what you are doing working for the mob ha?”
He sighed bending down to kiss my head “Annie I am not like you I am not talented and I am not good enough to join the police force and this work I do is exciting” I sat up so I could see him better “Nigel have you killed anyone for Stan Morgan?” He closed his eyes “Annie you can not ask me that and I will never tell you so please don’t ask again” I sighed and lay back down “I wish to be alone.”
Nigel bent and kissed my head again “Annie I am not angry with you I am just very disappointed in the choices that you have made but I will help you get through this.”
After he left I curled my legs up under me and grabbed my song book from beside my bed but before I could start working on it I heard cursing and something breaking.
Jumping of the bed I hurried to the passage to find no one there but there was a lot of cursing coming from Kane’s room, I hesitantly knocked on the door then opened it to find Kane kneeling down picking up broken glass from the carpet “Kane are you alright” I asked.
He cursed as a piece of glass stabbed his thumb “god damn it Bell just get out” I blinked away tears as his anger hurt me but he looked like he needed help.
Ignoring his cursing I bent down beside him and started to pickup the glass “are you fucking deaf get the fuck out of my room” I winced at his harsh words but continued to pickup the shards of glass “so what did you break anyway.”
He jumped to his feet and grabbed my arm yanking to my feet he started to drag me towards the door “just get out and stay out and fucking stay away from me Bell” I trembled at his anger and fought desperately to keep my tears in.
Kane stopped then turned pulling me instead towards his bed “you know what fuck it I told you if you did anything to upset me I would put you over my knee so that is what I am going to do.”
No he wouldn’t, he couldn’t be serious but he showed how serious he was when he quickly undid my jeans and pulled them down to my knees then sat down on the bed pulling me across his knees with my butt facing upwards “K, Kane no please” I sobbed as I realized he was going to hurt me.
His hand came down on my butt again and again making me jump and sob harder each time it hit my butt cheek but then he stopped and bent his head and pressed a kiss to each of my stinging cheeks.
Desperately I tried to pull away from him and stand up “Bell stop I’m sorry but you mad me so angry” he growled pulling me up into his arms and hugging me against his chest as I sobbed “baby I am so sorry I shouldn’t have done that.”
He stroked my hair and hushed me “baby please don’t cry I promise I will never do that again.”
Lies that was all they were, lies that I had heard so many times first from Reece and now him.
“Kane what the hell did you do?” Blake shouted from the doorway, Kane stopped stroking my hair and looked at his brother “Blake get the fuck out of my room.”
Blake started to step into the room with his eyes on me “Kane what did you do?” He growled.
Kane kissed my head then gave his brother a warning look “get the fuck out of my room I am warning you.”
Blake gave me another concerned look then with a tight nod he gave Kane a parting warning “don’t you hurt her again I will not stop Nigel from taking care of you.”
Kane gave a tight nod but stayed silent as his brother left the room but after the door shut behind him, Kane gently lifted my face up between his hands “Bell I am so sorry I shouldn’t have hurt you like that.”
He carefully pressed his lips to my head “please don’t cry anymore I promise I wont do that again.
Trying hard to stifle my sobs I pulled my face away from his hand “I want to go back to my room now” he shook his head “no you are staying in here where I can keep an eye on you” I shook my head giving him a pleading look “no I really wish to go back to my room.”
Kane shook his head and gently grabbed me around the waist lifting me up and down onto the bed with him.
Pulling the blankets over us he wrapped his arms around me tightly his mouth finding mine as he whispered again and again how sorry he was.
Closing my eyes as I cried I told myself not to believe him that all men were just liars that would say anything to get women to do what they wanted.
Kane pulled his mouth from mine stroking my hair back behind my ears “baby please believe me I wont hurt you again I promise” I ignored his words still feeling the sting of his hand on my bum and wondering what he would do to me the next time I made him angry.
Kane sighed then pressed his face into my neck hugging me as close as he could against his hard body “sleep baby” I was already falling asleep which was weird when a guy I was so scared of was the one holding me.”
Just before I was completely asleep I felt him kiss my neck and I felt something warm and wet hit my skin, was Kane Morgan crying, why would he be crying, was it because of me or because he missed his wife?

Submitted: April 06, 2011

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