Chapter 14: Chapter 14

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“No, I just wanted to know if he was still there. So what now?” Her voice starts to slightly tremble.

“Now nothing. Vic and me are through. I don't want anything to do with him any more.” I take deep breaths trying to keep my voice steady but I fail and let out a small sigh.

“Are you okay?” Her voice is high, on the verge of breaking.

“No, but we can't keep doing this. This is for the better. I'm sorry I hurt him.” I bite my lip not to start crying.

“You know this means that I'll have to choose sides right?” She sounds so apologizing as she tries not to cry but after her sentence she breaks out in tears.

“Yes. Goodbye.” Tears flow down my cheeks as I say goodbye to my lifelong friend.

“Goodbye.” She whispers as she cuts the line.

I put the phone aside as I grab the pillow close and scream in it. The pain almost unbearable as I think of all the friends I lost this night. Convulsions take me as I cry, not knowing how long I have been here I start hyperventilating.

“Adam? Adam? Adam?! He's not responding. Tom!” I hear Jacks voice but am unable to react. My body starts getting limp for the lack of oxygen and I start panicking, making the convulsions worse.

Strong hands grab me as I'm on the verge of losing conscientiousness.

“He's having an attack, could you get the evaporator-” I fall into the darkness.

Vic stood by the door, not meeting my eyes. He wore a long sleeved shirt during summer. It send my mind into suspicion immediately. Something was really wrong with his arms. I could only come up with two reasons; they had bullied him at school or... I rather not think of that option. I stood up, wanting to greed him with a hug but he stepped aside. Anger rose in me. I was his boyfriend, why would he hide from me?

“What are you hiding? Show me!” I grabbed Vic by his arm but he kept hiding his hands behind himself.

“No! It's nothing!” He looked up at me, now fire in his eyes. He had gone from scared to terrified in only a few seconds.

“Then show me!” I stepped to one side, grabbed him with one arm and pulled at his wrist with the other. But before I got the chance to put any force behind it he flinched and I let him go, instinctively knowing what was going on.

“I can't believe you did that. You know it's wrong.” He now knew I realised what was going on. I was able to pull his arm into my sight and saw the fine angry red lines on the inside of his wrist. They had just started to crust over.

“Like you're the one to talk! You were the one who did it first. You never told me it would give such a rush. Hypocrite!” He snatched his arm from me and fled from the house.

I sat back on the bed, pondering when I had gone wrong, pondering why Vic would do something like this. Why he would do it even though he knew I struggled with breaking the habit.

My body feels sore as I come to, I groan and raise my arm to protect my eyes from the bright light.

“Are you okay?” A soft voice calls to me from the side of the bed.

I grumble as I turn away from the light and I realize that Tom is not by my side, which means it's somewhere the next morning.

“How long have I been out?” I slowly open my eyes and luckily see I'm still in my room.

“For the whole night, though you seemed to have fallen asleep at some point.” Jack walks to the other side of the bed so he can look me in the eyes.

“You need to go home. I've broken all contact with Vic, you should leave.” My voice wavers as I push out the last words.

“I'll stay here until Tom is back. Someone needs to keep an eye on you.” He sits next to the bed and leans his head on it so he is on the same level as me.

“Lisa can keep an eye on me.” I close my eyes, unable to meet his curious gaze.

“Lisa also has her shift right now, she isn't in. I'm sorry. What do you want to eat?”

“I think I better take a shower first, I must smell.”

Jack glances at me from the corner of his eye as he gets to the kitchen. I blush. I hadn't gotten very far to the shower before my legs had given out under me. He had to help me to the bathroom and later out of the bath. Jack even had to help me with getting dressed. Embarrassing to say the least.

Jack returns with two steaming cups of coffee. “How are you feeling?” He sets my cup on the table in front of us as he keeps his own in his hands.

“Drugged, tired. The usual.” I cuddle into the couch, pulling the blanket closer over me.

“It's more scary than Vic going through one of his attacks.” Jack tries to make conversation.

I'm not ready to go back to being a normal person, not without one last thing. “I'm sorry.”

Jack looks at me questioningly. “Don't apologise for that. You can't help it you get attacks.”

“I don't mean the attack. I mean this whole weekend being such a mess. And me being useless and naked.”

Jack smiles. “Nothing wrong with some nakedness from time to time.” He winks. “And it's not your fault. It couldn't be helped. You two are both so headstrong. It had to happen at some point.”

“I just, was so surprised. He he had them after only being home for one week. I just... Didn't get it.” I sigh. “Again, sorry.”

“Don't worry. I don't get it either. How could I not have seen it?” He flashes me a crooked smile. “I guess we'll never know what goes on in his mind a those times. For now, let's just sit and do nothing. Just... relax.”

He turns the tv on and I slide over to lean against him, needing human contact right now.

Submitted: March 27, 2012

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