…………… He pushed the glass toward me over the counter.
“Damn It” he rubbed the back of his neck
“You hate being vulnerable” I toyed with the glass
“I hate admitting it” He looked at me “I’ve never admitted it it means you’re weak”
“You’re only weak if you don’t face up and admit shit” I knocked back the shot and reached for his and knocked that back as well and slid the glass back over to him. He smiled at me and filled the glasses again “You were saying?”
“I didn’t give a damn about anything after she left, I told you that until we were set to play Tampa and I was asked to check out this high school band and I fell in love with the singer in the band as soon as I saw and heard her and I’ve been head over ass in love with her ever since and all I seem to do is let her down” He knocked the shot back “Chris I really messed up but the last thing I’d ever, ever do is cheat on you and fuck it Christine Hell would have to damn well freeze over before I’d touch breath on or even go near Marianne, You mentioned the conversation we had on that flight once about if people hurt me I don’t’ let them back in and I don’t and I won’t especially if they hurt you as well, you’re the only person who can talk to me the way you have, you’re the only one I’ll let say the things you did, because I love you and because you make me want to be different you make me see it’s not all about me” he walked over to me and stood in front of me “Chris I never wanted to really get married why do you think I’d never set a date with her” he held out his arms “I love being able to play with my niece and Nephew and play with Ryan’s kids but I’m not ready for rug rats of my own I’m still too selfish and I think having to share you with the world is enough right now” He touched the side of my face “The novelty will never wear off with being with you and taking you to bed… hell we broke a piano for god sake” he smiled a little nervously “And yes I’ll happily and readily admit it feels fucking good to know I have you on my arm in my bed and in my heart so hell my ego’s well and truly rubbed… Yes you were the girl that was a challenge because I didn’t think you’d look at me twice, and I didn’t for a minute believe you’d not laugh in my face if I so much as attempted to hit on you… Chris look at you , I mean look at the guys that say things about want to be with you, look at Kellan he’s the type of guy people expected you to be dating not some Rocker that’s been round the block, but I wake up every day and have to pinch myself that you love me and you trust me” his eyes seemed to glaze over “You’re right you didn’t hesitate when I asked you to marry me and all I wanted was to make you my wife… I’m sorry for not telling you everything, I’m sorry for almost destroying you” he rested his forehead against mine “Chris I do know who and what I want and it’s you it’s only you, and I’ll fight my ass off to keep you… I love you” the last three words were barely a whisper “I love you so much” his hands held my face as his lips sought out mine in a kiss that was almost as nervous and testing as the first kiss we’d had right here in this kitchen “Please don’t let it end” he murmured into the kiss…….
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