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Comments: 6

Chapter One





I awoke face down in an alley way surrounded by trash and muddy puddles. I rolled over to stare at the starry night sky. I just laid there in silence, breathing deeply, trying to gather my wits. A noise at the other end of the alley made me jerk into a sitting position. My hand flew to my neck as a sharp pain shot through it to my shoulder. A scream drew my attention back to the end of the alley. "Please... don't hurt me..." a woman sobbed.

"Shut up." A man growled. I slowly got up and walked towards the voices. A strange, slightly sweet scent was coming from the source of the voices.

"No!" the woman screamed. I heard the ripping of cloth and the pounding of fists against another body. I stepped closer and saw a monstrous man with a shaved head and pitch black eyes rimmed red, holding a small woman against the wall. Her clothes were torn and blood trickled down the side of her face. Tear-filled, blue eyes latched onto me. "Help me please..."

"Huh?" the man turned his head and stared at me. "Get out of here, bitch. Or you're next." I merely tilted my head. I knew what I wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come out. "Did you hear me? I said get lost!" the man released the woman, who sunk to the ground like a rag doll. He took a step towards me with his hand stretched out to grab me.

"It's not nice to pick on someone smaller than you. Much less a woman." an ice cold voice echoed down the alley. I looked around for the source of such a voice that felt like a bitter winter wind against my skin, but to no avail.

"Show yourself coward!" the man growled. Suddenly, the pointed end of something that resembled a blade was pointing out of the man's chest. The pained expression he wore disappeared as his body turned to dust.

"Damn demons." the person that was behind the man said stepping into the moonlight. Silver hair shadowed ice blue eyes and brushed against ivory skin. A silver web like tattoo spanned over half of his neck and disappeared under dark clothes. He knelt before the woman. "Are you ok?"

"T-thank you..." she sobbed clutching his arm. He touched the index finger of his free hand against her forehead and her eyes closed. He wiped away the blood on her face.

"Zalinte kytsi." he whispered before standing. He turned to me. "What about you? Are you ok?" he asked. I nodded finding the words still wouldn't form on my lips. He placed his finger against my forehead. I waited to pass out like the woman, but... nothing happened. His eyes narrowed and he yanked down the neck of the torn shirt I was wearing. His fingers made quick work of probing the skin there.

"Hey, is everything alright?" someone asked flashing a light into the alleyway.

"Yes." The guy replied. He took his jacket off and put it on me before wrapping an arm around my waist. A police officer walked up to us from the street.

"What are you two doing back here?" The officer asked flashing the light in each of our faces. I shielded my eyes with my hand before the light could sear my eyes.

"I think we're lost. Could you tell us where Oleander Street is?" the guy answered. The officer looked like he didn't believe the story.

"Take a right at the end of the street and go a few blocks down, Mr...?" The officer said.

"Cable. Nick Cable. This is my wife, Laura." the guy said with a smile. I looked at him asking him a question with my raised eyebrow. He dug his fingers into my side hard.

"Uh-huh... Well, have a nice night. Hope you find the place you're looking for." The officer said waving us on. The guy steered me towards the street and pulled me along easily.

"Just do as I say, and I won't kill you. Yet." he whispered into my ear. I shot him a look that I prayed communicated my disgust. He returned my look with a frosty one of his own.

"Hey! Wait!" the officer yelled running down the street after us.

"Hold on tight." The guy said before swinging me up onto his back. My arms and legs clamped onto his body as he took off running. The street became a blur of colors that whizzed past as the wind rushed by. I tapped his shoulder to ask him something. "What?"

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I pointed in front of us and help my hands up in a questioning pose. "You'll find out where when we get there."

I slapped his shoulder, wishing I could talk. "Do you even have a name?" I tried to remembering if I did, but found my last memory was when I woke up in the alley. I shook my head and rested my chin on his shoulder. Suddenly, everything went dark and I was yanked from his back.

"What do we have here?" A harsh male voice asked close to my ear. I dropped my head back and connected with something solid that crunched. A cry of pain was followed by my face connecting with a wall. I was pinned there by rough hands. My feet barely brushed the ground.

"Gar, let her go." my savior said.

"The bitch broke my nose!" the man pinning me to the wall, Gar, yelled.

"And now you look prettier. So, let her go." the guy said.

"Why should I, Eric? She your new toy?" Gar asked picking at the jacket I wore. Eric! So that was his name!

"If she was human, she would be passed out in an alley with no memories of ever seeing me." Eric replied. Gar hissed and stepped away. I yanked the cloth over my eyes off and found myself in another dark alley between two potentially dangerous men, who stood on opposite sides. One was Eric, in all his frosty glory. The other had to be Gar.

Submitted: October 11, 2012

© Copyright 2022 Kirsten Tousignant. All rights reserved.


Add Your Comments:



I can't wait for more . . . but I will.
I am loving your work.

Wed, October 17th, 2012 12:17pm


I hope to have more up soon, maybe later this week. Thank you for being patient! :-)

Wed, October 17th, 2012 8:24am


I like this, and it is very intriguing...

Thu, October 25th, 2012 8:52am



Thu, October 25th, 2012 7:43am


Typo: "monsterous" should be "monstrous."

Eric/Mr. Cable reminds me of an albino man. I am still not sure what he and Gar are, or what the mute girl is if she isn't human and was able to break Gar's nose.

Given the monstrous man from the alley was a demon, I am going to assume for now Eric and Gar are either wizards or angels.

Fri, November 30th, 2012 11:10am


Thanks for telling me about the mistake.

Fri, November 30th, 2012 4:47am


More in-depth the way you decompressed the story at the beginning made it very suspenseful. Having read as far as Chapter 6, I can appreciate how you established the characters and the mysteries this early on. This chapter makes more sense now and is indeed a good opening to the more exciting narrative later on.

Thu, December 6th, 2012 10:05pm



Thu, December 6th, 2012 2:08pm


I really enjoyed the setting, most of all. Seedy alleys, footsteps in the dark – the sights and sounds of it all. Also, it was nicely fast-paced and lively; the descriptions were good enough to illuminate, but didn’t bog down the story. And, of course, the suspense was well-maintained throughout – I’m gonna go read chapter two now, in fact. :)

One thing which bugged me a little was the last paragraph. There is nothing outwardly wrong with it, but it seemed to hamper the flow of the narration and just seemed a little off. If you know what I mean. Though definitely keep the last sentence – “The other had to be Gar.” – it was the perfect note to end the chapter.

Wed, May 21st, 2014 6:55pm


I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. I must say it is rather difficult to write a novel when the main character doesn't speak.

Wed, May 21st, 2014 12:30pm


Yeah, that is hard. But also pretty cool. I sympathize, haha.

Thu, May 22nd, 2014 8:34pm



Thu, May 22nd, 2014 4:34pm

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