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Comments: 13

\"It's Friday night. You're at a nightclub!! Let's dance!! Come on!!!\" My friend Kristen was saying.

\"I don't want to!!\"I said for the millionth time. She was getting me irritated.\"This was the worst night of my life.\"I thought to myself.

\"Just forget what happpened today.\"I rolled my eyes.She was telling like it was so easy. How could i forget the fact the my boyfriend, whichI thoughtI was going to spend the rest of my life with, broke up with me.

\"You know what,I dont feel good. im just going to gohome.\"I told her.I grabbed my bag and started to get up when all of the sudden a guy, you could say he was the cutest guy here, bump into me and knocked us both to the ground.

\"Hi,\" He said staring into my eyes. He was on top of me.

\"Hi,\"He said. Why was I so nervous? He was just a guy and still didI mention he was really cute.

Ismiled, \" Umm... do you think you could um...\"

\"Oh right sorry.\"He helped me up.

\"Well bye.\"I waved and turned my back on him to leave.

\"Wait, dont go.\"I turned around.


\" This night have been so boring and you are the only one who had made this the greatest night for me.\" His big brown eyes shone like stars in the night. He had really short brown hair, caramel skin, and he was wearing a black button shirt with jean.

Iblushed, \"Thanks, Ibut really don't---\"he cut me off.

\"Wanna Dance?\" beforeI could even respod he pulled me to the dance floor. The DJ was introducing a slow-bachata song by Aventura. Heput my arms around his neck and put his arm around my waist. We stared dacing.I layed my head on his neck.

\"CanI say something?\"


\"From the momentI saw youI fell in love with you.\"

Istared at him shocked, stunned. How could he say he was in love with me if he didn't even know me! He stared at me as if waiting for me to say the same thing.

\" can you be in love with me if you dont even know my nam---what?!\"I was so infuriated with him andI didnt even know why.

\"Im sorry if i took you by suprise--\"I didnt wait for him to finish i turned around and left.

\"Jessica!!!Come back!\" i heard Kristen screaming.I turned and i thought i saw her running behind me.I just ran out. What was i suppose to do.I headed towards my car when all of the suddenI realizedI forgot my bag.I sighed in frustruation.

\"Were you lookink for this?\"I turned. It was him. He was standing there holding my bag.I just stared at him.

\"Your friend wanted to bring you your bag, but i convinced her to let me bring it to you.\" He winked at me.

\"Whatever, canI just get my bag?\"I held out my hand for it. He handed it to me.I turned my back on him and got my keys out of my bag. I tried to open my car but he put his hand on top of mine to stop me.

\"Don'tI atleastget a thankyou?\"He said sarcastically and Irolled my eyes.

\"Look, Im sorry if it to you by surprise whatI said, but that's howI feel andI like to be direct right away.\"

\"Well, yea, you were a little to direct though.I mean telling a girl you are in love with her and not even knowing anything about her. Not even her name.\"

\"Well, im Ryan Salaregi, and you are?\" he held out his hand me to shake it. i didn't.

\"That's not the point, but Im Jessica Bermude.\"

\"Well nowI know you name.\" He said Smiling. I just stared at him.

\"WillI see you again?\" He asked.

\"Um...I dont know. This is New York City for crying out loud. It would be a miracle if you ever see me again.\"

\"Miracles do exist.\"

\"Ugh!Your impossible!\"I started to leave.

\"Don't leave.Im acting like this because Im nervous.\"


\"Hey guys get nervous too.I dont even know why Im nervous.Is just thatI really like you andI never felt like this about another girl before andI wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me?\"


\"Um...I was wondering..if you wanted to go out with me?\"

\"Wait. Did someone put you up to this?\"

\"No?No.\" He said a little confused.

\"Look um..I dont know.\"

\"Okay um well what about you give me a chance if we ever see each other.\"


\"Well you say that's impossible. Lets find out. Lets leave it to destiny.\"

\"Okay, if you want to.\" The truth wasI was sad,because maybe in the last 5 minutesI started to like Ryan and not seeing him again got me sad. \"But let me just tell that could be never.\"

\"Never say never.\" And with that he walked back into the club.I called Kristen.


\"Hey its me. Can we go home?\"

Submitted: June 02, 2009

© Copyright 2023 LAvenezolanita. All rights reserved.


Add Your Comments:



Holly Crap!!! That was straight forward!!! like...REALLY straight forward!!!

I like him!!! he's cool!!


Tue, June 2nd, 2009 4:24am


lol yea he was!!!but i dont know i was bout to change that bt i dnt know if i should.

Tue, June 2nd, 2009 5:34pm


lol yea he was!!!but i dont know i was bout to change that bt i dnt know if i should.

Wed, June 3rd, 2009 12:33am


hehe This story is good so far! cant wait to read more! :)

Sat, June 6th, 2009 5:29am


Thanks!!?? I'll try to update soon!!!????

Sat, June 6th, 2009 2:03pm


He is really straight! hehe
Awwww :)
It was really sweet :)
I'm not being mean, but next time you write a book I would advise you to use capitals, for I, the beggining of a sentence etc lol
It's just It looks better, and then you can read it properly he! :)
Take no notice of me if you don't want, It's just a tip :L
All in all it was really good! :S
I really hope they do see each other again, by a miracle hehe :D

Mon, September 28th, 2009 9:46am


Okay thanks for the advice!?? All tips are appreciated!??Hopefully!??

Tue, September 29th, 2009 2:50pm


I agree with KiiaX and it is a great start to your story.

Sun, October 11th, 2009 10:51am



Mon, October 12th, 2009 7:55am


dude I DIDN'T COMMENT? Y IDDN'T U TELL ME?! i swore i did ^^' lol this is awesome! i 'll keep going

Sun, April 4th, 2010 9:38pm


jajaja i forgot :P thank you ! :D

Sun, April 4th, 2010 5:35pm



Sat, April 17th, 2010 5:21pm


Thank you! :D

Sat, April 17th, 2010 5:14pm


This rocks [:
Ha, I like how straightfoward Ryan is. :D
And thanks for welcoming me!

Wed, April 21st, 2010 11:16pm


Lol yea :D and ur welcome :)

Thu, April 22nd, 2010 1:09pm

Tiffany Q

Cool character you have there. Keep up=]

Sat, April 24th, 2010 9:18pm


Thank you :)

Sat, April 24th, 2010 6:49pm


continue! continue! :D i like this one

Sun, April 25th, 2010 10:48pm


Thank you so much :)

Sun, April 25th, 2010 4:55pm


It was nice. You should keep going. :)

Wed, July 7th, 2010 8:02am


Thank you :)

Wed, July 7th, 2010 2:54pm


Well that was blunt and straight to the point :) Lol, like it :) I don't have enough time right now to finish the rest, but as soon as I'm free I will :)

Wed, July 7th, 2010 9:51am


Haha Yea it was! Thank You for reading my novel :)

Wed, July 7th, 2010 2:53pm


Nice start you got here! I really recomend to follow the advice above ^ Add in a lot of details, and voice tone. But overall, nice job!

Please remember to check out my novel, "And I Love You, Too" if you get the chacne!!

Sat, July 24th, 2010 3:53am

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