Dad took my hand.
You ready then he said.
Yeah I am I said, feeling a bit wobbly, but so happy my father was going to walk me down the aisle, well the beach.
We were getting married, not far from our villa so we did not need cars to take us, we all walked down.
The others walked on in front while dad and me, walked behind.
The other people, who lived around us, came out to see me and wished me well in Spanish.
When we got to the beach, I could see the set up for our renewal blessing, and all our guests waiting.
There were holiday makers on the beach and others from around the area, who had come to see what was happening.
I stopped to take it all in.
Are you ok Liz dad asked me?
Yes it’s just so overwhelming dad, I said holding tight hold of his arm.
Mum, Nicole and Samantha, had stopped to see if I was ok.
Mum, I called her over
What’s wrong love she said?
Nothing, I said feeling a bit unwell, but I want you and dad to both walk me down to Emilio, I said trying not to cry and wreck, my makeup.
Ok love, mum said taking my arm.
Dad looked over to mum and smiled.
I looked at Nicole and Samantha, and nodded for them to go on.
As we got closer, music started to play.
It was Shania twain’s, song, you’re still the one.
I thought my heart would burst.
I could see Emilio, waiting for me, with his sister, next to him.
All our family and friends were stood waiting for me.
Nicole and Samantha walked down the aisle.
And I followed with mum and dad.
I looked at Emilio and started to cry.
And he had tears in his eyes.
I looked over to James and ruby.
They were crying.
Joseph, looking smart in his wedding outfit, gave me a smile.
I looked at Gilb, and he winked at me.
I finally got to Emilio and mum and dad handed me over to him.
I passed my bouquet to Samantha, and took hold of Emilio hands.
You look lovely he said.
The music stopped
Everyone sat down, but Kate got up and walked towards us.
We both turned to face Kate, who would be conducting the ceremony.
Ladies, and gentlemen, friends and family.
We are here today, to share in the renewal of vows between Emilio and Elizabeth.
Two people, who were meant to be together,
Their commitment, and love for one another, has shown us all, through the tough times, love will always be there, if you want it to be.
Both of them have had their fair share of trouble.
But I think we all agree, Emilio and Elizabeth love each other with a love so strong.
Kate then looked at Emilio.
Emilio turned to me, and he began to speak.
Liz, my friend, my lover my soul mate.
I am so happy to have you in my life, and as my wife.
As Kate said we have had our troubles, but we have gotten through them.
He began to cry.
I let go of one of hands and wiped his tears.
He smiled and carried on.
I took hold of his hands again.
Liz, I know, he said, crying again.
I looked at him, realising he meant he knew about my cancer.
I wondered if anyone knew what he was on about.
No one spoke.
I was worried what he would say next, and held tight to him so not to fall over.
Liz I know, in my heart I will never love anyone like I love you.
He never let slip to the others about my cancer, but he was talking to me, in a way I knew what he meant.
Liz always know where ever you go, I will be right beside you.
I will always look after you, and love you to the end.
I began to cry, holding tight hold of his hands.
All our friends and family were in tears as well.
It was my turn to speak.
I had not written anything down, and what I did say, would come from the heart.
Emilio, my love, my dream, my life.
From the moment I first saw, you I thought, what a hunk.
Your beautiful smile, you beautiful eyes, your beautiful hair, your beautiful voice and your beautiful heart.
There is no one else I would want to spend my life with.
And I want you there when I breathe, my last breath.
Emilio started crying, and so did I.
I carried on, as best I could.
I love you so much.
I cannot begin to explain, how much, but know this, the whole universe cannot contain the love I have for you.
Without you I am nothing.
When I am away from you, I am a wreck.
But when you’re near me,
I cried again.
I am so happy.
I love you.
I looked at Kate, and she was wiping her eyes.
She composed herself, then spoke
Well ladies and gentlemen we can all see, the love these two have is a strong heartfelt love.
Emilio put his arm around me and hugged me tight.
Kate held out a letter for us to sign, that we had renewed our vows.
We both signed it, and Emilio kissed me.
I didn’t want him to stop.
Then everybody cheered, even those who just come out to see what was going on.
Music started to play again.
I have nothing by Whitney Houston
We turned to face everyone,
Then Emilio picked me up and carried me down the aisle.
I held onto him tight.
Everyone was cheering
You lot carry on to the restaurant and we will be there in a bit, he told everyone.
They must of all thought, were we off to have sex.
Emilio carried me across the beach. I just looked at him.
Then when we got to the path he put me down.
He took hold of my hand, and we walked back to the villa.
He was crying.
So was I, but he was really upset.
He could hardly look at me.
We got into the villa, took his suite jacket off, and he fell to his knees.
I got down onto the floor, and hugged him.
Why did you not tell me Liz, he said crying like a baby.
Because I thought I could fight it, I said also crying.
How long have you known; I asked him.
A few weeks, he replied.
I opened one of your letters, from the hospital, by mistake and it said they thought it was spreading.
We both cried.
Is this why you planned this I asked him.
Yes he said.
I cuddled into him.
I only found out I had it when I went for my boob job, I told him.
I have had it a long time, so it was too late when I found out, I said holding on tight to him.
They can’t do anything? he asked.
No I am stage four now.
All this money and it worth nothing, he said getting angry.
I know how shit is that I said, trying to make light of the situation.
He got up and picked me up.
He held onto me.
How long have you got he asked me.
Maybe a year, I told him.
Do you feel unwell now, he asked.
Not really, but I’m taking medication, to help with it.
He said nothing but hugged me tight.
Emilio I am going to Switzerland, to die.
He turned and looked at me.
It’s all organised, I said.
When he asked?
Not yet but when I know I can’t take any more, or I become too ill, I will go.
He began crying again, and held tight hold of me.
I hugged him just as tight.
Liz I won’t be without you, he said.
You have to look after Sam, I said.
No, I can’t be without you Liz, he said, pouring his heart out.
And I can’t be without you, but you must look after her, I replied.
Without you I just can’t go on, he said.
I took hold of his face.
Emilio you must promise me, when I have gone you will look after Sam and keep on singing, I said feeling weak.
I began to fall.
Liz are you ok, he asked panicking.
He caught me.
Yeah, I am ok, it’s just all this upset and the heat.
He helped lay me on the couch.
Should I call a doctor he said, running to the phone?
No I will be fine, I am just exhausted.
He went and got me a glass of water.
He bent down and helped me drink it.
We need to get to the restaurant, I said to him.
You’re not well; he said, you’re not going anywhere.
I will be ok in a bit, I told him trying to get up.
But I wasn’t ok.
Emilio got on his mobile phone and rang James, and told him, what had happened, and to tell, everyone to carry on with the party.
I tried to get up again, but I was dizzy.
Emilio, went into the hall then rang for a doctor.
I could hear him speaking to someone in Spanish.
There is no need for a doctor I said.
I somehow got to my feet.
But I needed to hold on, to the wall to stop myself from falling over.
The door knocked.
Emilio went to answer it.
It was James and Nicole.
I did not move in case I fell down, I just tried to hold onto the wall.
They came into the lounge, and saw me.
Liz what’s wrong, James said coming over to help me.
I let go of the wall and he helped me sit down again.
Nicole stood with Emilio.
He was telling her what was wrong.
James held onto my hand.
Liz what’s wrong, he asked again.
I could see Nicole start to cry.
James looked at her.
Then back at me.
Ok, Ok I said, I have cancer.
James just looked at me.
Emilio began to cry again.
James turned to him.
Then back to me.
He began to cry.
It’s ok, I said.
James took tight hold of my hand.
He did not know what to say.
I have a bit of time yet, I said.
But I was beginning to doubt that, as I was feeling quite bad, and it had come on sudden.
I tried to get up again.
But my legs gave way.
James went to catch me and Emilio ran over.
Let’s get her to the bedroom, James said.
Emilio and James helped me on to bed.
I was still wearing my wedding dress.
Nicole came in.
I asked her if she would clean my face up, as I bet I looked quite a sight.
Her makeup had run as well.
Emilio opened the patio doors, to let some air in.
James helped to make me comfortable.
Nicole got a wet wipe and cleaned my face.
Emilio came over and sat by me on the bed.
I will be ok in a minute I told him.
It was just all the excitement, and emotion of the day, if I rested I would be ok.
But I was feeling really bad now.
When Nicole had finished cleaning my face, I asked her if she would fetch my hand bag, and a glass of water.
She went off to get them.
The others will be wondering where we are, I said to Emilio.
Not to worry he said.
I began to cough.
And I was finding it hard to breath.
Both Emilio and James helped me sit up while, I tried to catch my breath.
Nicole came back in with the glass of water and my handbag.
I took the hand bag off her and opened it up and got my pills out.
I was looking for my morphine pills.
I had so many pills and I began to panic.
Nicole helped me find them.
Are these the ones you want she asked?
Yes, that’s them.
James opened the packet and took out the pills.
How many he said.
I can take two I told him, still fighting for breath.
He popped out two pills and gave them to me.
Emilio took hold of the glass of water and helped me swallow the pills.
I lay back on the bed.
Exhausted, and still struggling to breathe.
Emilio got up and said he would ring the doctor again.
James and Nicole stayed with me.
I was told I had, at least a year left, I said to Nicole and James.
James took hold of my hand.
What cancer is it Liz, he asked.
I have stage four, melanoma.
I have had it ages apparently, I told him, trying to control my breathing.
When did you find out, Nicole asked?
Only a few months ago, But, the yesterday the doctor said, there was nothing more they could do
Liz why did you not tell anyone, Nicole said crying.
Because I thought I have burdened you all enough over the years with my problems, and besides, I was planning on telling you today, at the restaurant, but well, now you know, I said feeling tired.
So Emilio did not know either then James asked.
Well I thought he did not know, but this trip out here and us renewing our vows, well he knew, but said nothing.
James looked at Nicole.
Nicole started crying, but hid her face from me.
Emilio came back into the bed room, wearing his suite jacket again.
They are sending an ambulance, I heard him say to James.
No need let me sleep and when I wake up I will be ok, I said drifting off to sleep.
Emilio came and lay by me on the bed.
I could feel him touch my face.
James asked him why he never told anyone, that he knew about me being ill.
Emilio said he was waiting for me to tell him, and also hoping I was hiding it from him because I would get better.
And you rushed to get all this done, James asked him.
Looking at me and stroking my hair, Emilio said, there was nothing he would not do for me.
And he knew I would love it.
The door knocked.
Nicole went to answer it.
It was my parents, the twins, Gilb ,Harvey and ruby.
Nicole had the job of telling them what was wrong.
I could hear people crying.
Emilio kissed me and got off the bed to go see everyone.
James then bent over and kissed my head, and went out to see ruby and Joseph.
I was told I would have a year to live,
But knowing I was loved so much, it was like my body had said enough was enough.
As soon as the room was empty,
I passed away.
I died knowing I was loved.
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