Chapter 1: School Daze-Chapter One

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 403
Comments: 1


“And you’ll dye over that blue by Monday!” Miss Lockhart called as I walked out of her office. I hate it here, the staff, the pupils, the school itself, everything, I hate everything.
I suppose I only have a year left, not long now.
The corridors where strangely quiet when everyone went to lesson, only a few people walked when it was lesson time, and that was for trips to the toilets.
Over five hundred girls and boys in this school, and only a few stepped out of line, most our pupils had excellent behaviour. Maybe they were scared of letting people down, letting their family down; maybe even letting themselves down.
In a way I admired them, they had so much going for them, they were smart, funny, kind and popular.
On the television people like this are portrayed as being ‘geeks’ or ‘nerds’ but not here, these people were looked up to, admired. I wasn’t sure why they’d let me stay, the past three schools had kicked me out, this was my last chance.
It was people like me who were frowned upon, every fight I got into, every time I was called to Mrs Lockhart’s office, people started to hate me more.
I didn’t mind so much as I didn’t care for anybody at all, all apart from my best friend.

She was my everything, my first and only best friend, her name was Maria.
Maria was a lovely girl with auburn hair and green eyes, she was very pale with a lightly freckled face, she was quite tall but still small enough to be as cute as she was.
I always longed to be as pretty as she was, she could get any boy she wanted, without opening her legs to them, unlike me.
Boys fell for her beautiful appearance, her mystery, her cuteness, her passion, her perfect body, her smile, her laugh, her eyes. She was truly beautiful.
She was just like me, always in trouble, the staff dreaded the lessons where we were both together, they had tried separating us, and it had failed miserably, it was us against the world.
Recently she’d been in less trouble, her boyfriend Tyler seemed to be a good influence on her, she was changing.
She had been my best friend for years; we met when we were about six.
We lived next door to one another, I had never spoken to her in my life, and we had both always lived next door to eachother.
When my mother first went into hospital, I was left there over night.
I cried and begged for her not to leave me, she didn’t have a choice, and she had to leave me.
At first I was weary of the strange girl, my grandmother always told me that red-headed children where children of the devil, evil and mischievous. This in my mind, I did not play with the little girls toys, I did not watch her cartoons or eat her food, I stayed next to her mother, quite frightened of poor, confused Maria.
Then later on that night, when we were sent up to bed, Maria and I started talking.
She told me that my mother would be okay and that I can play with any of her toys because we’re friends, no one had ever called me that before, a friend.

“Annalise!” a familiar voice called from the end of the corridor, it was Maria.
“Hello!” I called back; she ran over to me and hugged me tightly.
“What did Miss Lockhart want?” She asked linking her arm in mine.
“Oh, nothing really, just the usual.” I said with a smile, she sighed and tightened her grip on my arm affectionately.
“Well darling, I don’t think we should go to English.” She said putting her head on my shoulder as we walked.
“Nor do I, maybe we should go sit behind the science blocks, get some fresh air.” I said.
“Come on then you.” She said pulling me lightly.
I felt so safe around my friend, not l that needed protection, and I always stuck up for myself, she just made everything so much better.
I loved Maria, no matter what, we were best friends.
“Want one?” I asked handing her a cigarette, she looked around then hesitated.
“Well?” I asked again pushing it towards her.
“Sure.” She said taking it.
She lit it slowly then took a short pull, she didn’t really look herself.
“What’s wrong?” I asked taking a pull.
“Nothing, have you heard about our new English teacher?” She asked changing the subject.
“No.” I replied taking another pull.
I weren’t particularly bothered about a new member of staff, I weren’t bothered about the members of staff we already had.
I smoked really quickly, I knew that with every pull I took I was slowly killing myself, and I loved it.
“Well, apparently he’s really strict, he’s the type to ring home, apparently he’ll kick everyone into line, and he’s going to be our year head too.” She said flicking the ash from her cigarette.
“Really? I’d like to see him try!” I said giggling, I liked a challenge.
She looked up and smiled sweetly at me, “He’ll have a job kicking you into line Lise.” She said tossing her cigarette aside.
I lit another, “Want one?” I offered.
“No, I was actually thinking of quitting.” She said bowing her head.
“Why?” I asked, she had been smoking almost as long as I had, why would she stop now?
“Tyler said it’s bad for my health, I thought maybe I should quit before I’m ill.” She edged away from me as she spoke.
I took another pull and looked at her, “Why are you changing for him?” I asked, I was furious; she always did as he said, she always obeyed him, and it was like she was his bloody dog!
“He cares about me Annalise, he cares about my health, and he just wants to look after me.” She said, not looking at me.
I let out a laugh then stopped.
“You know he won’t be around forever don’t you? And I will! Still you always let me down and choose him!” I yelled, I hated him, he was always trying to take her from me, and she let him, she always chose him over me, we were drifting apart and it was all him. I honestly despised him, I know he’ll hurt her, he already has, I promised I wouldn’t tell her.
“You don’t mean that Annalise, we’ve been together for two years now. He loves me, and I love him.” She said, looking at me now.
I started to laugh more.
“Love? He doesn’t love you! No one can, you’re mine and I love you and I’ll look after you!” I said, I started to feel very down, I don’t know if it was anger or sadness, maybe it was both.
He was a horrible little boy, he was not yet a man, he could not love!
He just enjoyed using her, despite my little conscience I could not hurt my only friend.
“Annalise, you are not capable of love! You never have been, how many boys have you had this week? Six? You do not understand the concept of love!” She said standing up, standing up to me.
“Where are you going?” I asked standing up too.
“Anywhere, without you.” She said grabbing her bag.
“You can’t leave me.” I said grabbing her arm as she tried to leave.
“I’ll ask you once, let go of me.” She said calmly, I noticed the fear in her eyes and smiled.
“No.” I replied, I will not let go, she will not leave me.
She pulled her arm and my grip loosened and her arm was free.
She started to walk away but I grabbed her again, by her hair. She let out a little yelp as I pulled her back, she dropped her bag too.
“Let go now!” She screamed, I pulled harder.
“You can’t leave me.” I said firmly, I talked very slowly to make sure she’d understand.
“What the hell is wrong with you?! Just let go of me now!” She screamed, and then the bell rang.
It wasn’t long after that Miss Lockhart ran out; followed by two members of staff I’d never seen and about ten pupils. They didn’t say anything, we were their entertainment, lions in a cage.
“I’m sorry!” I yelled, crying.
“It’s too late, just let go, now!” I would not let go of her, I wrapped my fingers around her hair then pulled her back, she tripped and fell, and I went with her.
By now girls and boys were walking to their lessons, I knew people would soon be surrounding us, but I didn’t care, I wanted it to be okay.
“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Tyler said he wouldn’t say anything!” I called.
“Tell me what?” She asked with a look of concern on her face.
My heart sank, I thought she knew, I thought that’s why she started acting so peculiar.
“I’m sorry.” I said, I’d done it again.
“Not again.” She whispered, tears filled her eyes, I knew she wouldn’t let herself cry though, she wanted everyone to think she was strong, I knew she wasn’t.
“I can’t believe you, how could you do this to me again?! Everyone just thinks you’re easy, a heartless, miserable, jealous little whore.” She said firmly, she wouldn’t let me win this one, not with everyone else watching, she had a reputation to live up to as well as I did.
“Okay.” I said, I no longer had the energy to argue, I was too tired.
“No, it isn’t okay, you’re a wreck, you’re killing yourself more and more each day, don’t you see it? Everyone is scared of you, you have no friends, and you have nothing. Now I’m finished with you, I no longer want us to speak, ever.” It was clear this was the end of our troublesome double act.
“You’re not missing out on much, he’s worse than the last one.” I said with a smile, I would not be made a fool of, it hurt me to act so cruelly to her, and she was my one weakness, the only person in this world I cared about.
Her face dropped, she was winning the argument, she was making me look weak, and I turned things too personal. “I hate you!” She screamed at the top of her voice.
“What?” I asked, she had never said this to me before, no matter how bad our arguments, I felt hurt, extremely hurt. “Don’t you understand Annalise? I hate you, I’ve always hated you. Everything has been a lie, I had to put up with you, how could I be mean to poor little Annalise? Whose mother and father are long gone, no one to look after her anymore, she pushed everyone away, everyone has gone. Nobody dares befriend poor little Annalise, there must be something wrong with her. Her mummy, her daddy, they both got away, didn’t they? Nobody loves the girl who is afraid to be alone.” She said, strangely calm now, the staff and pupils stood astonished; no one else spoke.

I turned my back and ran, I ran as far as I could, I ignored the shouts of the staff and the pupils who were demanding my return, and I just ran.
I can’t believe she had said those things to me, was she telling the truth? She must have been, she couldn’t come up with such an elaborate tale impulsively, just to hurt me, could she? Now I truly had nothing.
My mother and father did get out, they got away from me, and everybody got away from me eventually.
Maybe I was killing myself slowly, but no one would even miss me if I were gone.
No one would mourn for my wasted life, no one would cry a single tear, I was truly alone, and I was lost, so lost.
I continued to run, even past the school gates, I still ran.
I didn’t know where to go, I just wanted to be alone, I couldn’t go back to Karen and David’s because they’ll be furious if I’m home early again, they’ll be angry once the school phone anyway. They always looked at me with concern when I came home, early, late or shouted at them, they were lovely people, they took me in when no one else would.
Stupid, naïve Karen and David. They couldn’t have children of their own, they wanted a baby, a cute little baby, I don’t know why they picked me. I was perfectly fine at the home.

I was at Willow-Way Park now; I hadn’t been here in years.
So many memories lay here, and I wanted to forget them, forget everything.
I wish my father didn’t go, what was so bad he could no longer tolerate his own life? Was I too naughty as a child, didn’t my mother love him anymore? Did the voices get to him?
I reached into my bag and pulled out the bottle of vodka I’d bought earlier today.
It was so stupid, drinking on my own; I felt so very pathetic.
I just couldn’t carry on this charade anymore, I was so unhappy and I had no one else to turn to now, they had all gone, why did they leave me?!

I looked around the park as I lit my cigarette; there weren’t a lot of people here, only a few elderly people and a few mothers and babies. Other than the few there, I was alone.
I took a long pull and lay back on the grass, it felt like there was something in my head, something pounding hard against my skull, I felt physically drained.
I started to drink the vodka quickly; it sent a burning sensation down the back of my throat, I liked it though, I could feel the alcohol travel down my throat and into my body, I could feel the effects working already.
I couldn’t believe I’ve been so stupid to make the same mistakes again, I didn’t really care that I slept with Tyler, I didn’t even feel bad for hurting Maria so much again, I just felt bad for myself, it was selfish of me but I did.
I don’t even know what I’m capable of doing anymore, maybe It’d be better for everybody if I just went, I could start again, I could get a train to somewhere, I have ways of making money, maybe it could work.
No, I’m being stupid, I couldn’t. I couldn’t live like that; I’d be on the streets, cold and even more alone, I wouldn’t be cold, I could find somewhere, a man would easily let me stay, just for a few nights and some kind favours in return.
As I sat up I felt the effects of the vodka running through my system, I stood up quickly and it hit me, I was drunk, I felt quite merry.
Maybe it was time to find some fun; I’m sick of feeling so down, it’s time to party.
I lit another cigarette then picked up my things and headed to Karen and David’s.

I walked very quickly, pushing past anyone who stood in my way. School was finished now, boys and girls from different schools walked past me, all laughing and joking with their friends.
I felt oddly jealous; I longed to be a part of a little group, I wanted to have little girly sleepovers, I wanted to do my friends hair and paint her nails and do our make up with blindfolds on.
Even with Maria we didn’t have fun that way, our idea of fun was clubbing, seeing how many different men we could pull, how much we could drink, who can take the strongest drugs and get the best possible side effect, smoke the most cigarettes, who can get the biggest tattoo or the most piercings, we never acted like children and those scars will always remain.

Karen and David weren’t in, that was probably for the best.
I ran up to my bedroom, and threw my things on my bed, Karen had left a packet of my favourite biscuits and a little note that said ‘Enjoy darling, we’ll be home tomorrow, sorry for leaving you with such short notice.’ How could they just leave me like that? They weren’t allowed to just leave me! They had to look after me!
I picked up the stupid biscuits and threw them at the mirror; they hit the mirror then fell to the floor.
I put my music on as loud as I could then go to get dressed.
I looked in my wardrobe and picked out an outfit, I picked out my denim shorts, fishnets and a nice dressy top.
I undressed by my window, as I did the neighbour, John was looking in.
This wasn’t unusual, John had a habit of looking through my window, I didn’t particularly mind.
John was a very lonely man, he needed extra special attention. I often gave him the attention he needed, and I was of course kindly rewarded.

I didn’t really like John, he was old and smelt disgusting, his house was always such a mess, it was a wonder how he could live like that. It’d be impossible for me; it’d literally drive me insane.
He was a good man though, his life had been ruined by his sorry excuse for a family and drugs, he was so alone, he was glad I showed him some attention.
He really liked me, he promised he’d take me away once I’m sixteen, he said he’ll take me away where it is sunny and safe, where no one could harm me.
I didn’t want that, I could never love the poor, old fool.
When I was dressed I grabbed my bag and keys, I was ready for the night, my Friday night began at 6.00pm, quite early, it doesn’t matter.
I didn’t know where I was going but where ever I go, it’s got to be better than being here.


Submitted: January 06, 2012

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briannanb

This is really good! Keep me updated??(:

Sat, March 24th, 2012 5:17am

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Awh, thank you. :)
I'll upload the second chapter later on, I've all ready writen about six chapters. :')

Mon, March 26th, 2012 10:21am

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