"Freaha, can you please pay attention?!" The drone from my teacher's mouth hit me again in one sharp note, what did she want now! Had she not got everything she ever wanted from me, i mean i turned up didn't i?! I looked up to find she was standing on the other side of my desk. "that's more like it Freaha, please pay attention, i know things are hard for you at the moment" Hard! Hard! you try living with what i have to, knowing all that i did, and then you tell me if you think it is mearly 'hard!'. I have had enough crap from the teacher's in this place, telling me i need to brighten up, make friends, learn stuff. What will i ever need P.E. for? I don't need to run, why should i keep fit? I don't need to know how the Earth revolves or anything about plate tectonics, i need parents! Not the type that abuse you either, i need someone who is there to buy food for me and give me a warm bed to sleep in, but wishful thinking will get me no-where will it?! "Freaha!!" Eugh! what did she want now? Hadn't she shut up? Did she not know i didn't care? Surely i had made it quite clear i thought school was a waste of time! Stuff this, i'm gone. It was as simple as that, i put my pen in my pocket and went, i need a fag, all this stress and not being able to smoke anymore, it was killing me. So instead of going to see if i could nick a fag of someone from by the boiler, i went for a walk. I knew too well that i would never be called back in as no-one cared, why would they? I wasn't their child, they didn't have to call me in. Anyway what would i be missing, a lesson on how to find what x is in a algabraic formula, like i need to know! For March it was still pretty cold, i never bothered with a coat as i didn't own one, sad isn't it? When your Mum can't even buy you a coat because of a mad drug obsession. Well that's the way it was in my house, if you could even call it that. I was a ghost, i floated by and nobody cared, and for me that was fine, i think i prefered it that way, before when my Dad was being trialed for abuse everyone had their noses in mybuisness alway wanting to know if i was ok, or if i needed someone to talk to. If i had done, there was always someone. Once he was found not-guilty and was let go, everyone stopped caring, poking their noses in and life went back to normal, i floated through every day, drifting in and out of sleep, in school, the teachers didn't care apart from Miss Tai, my maths teacher, she always tried to make me pay attention, make me participate, she would always say she was there for me, but i didn't care. I don't like school, i don't like it at home either, i just need to make it to 18 and then i could go out into the world on my own and live life properly, no math GCSE will help me nor english or science, unless there is a lesson in life then i'm not interested. Hmm, i haven't been up here for a while. I had reached the woods which were fenced off from the school's main grounds, though they were used with the gifted and talented P.E. and Geography students, the ones with P.E. would do random activities in here like archery and cross country and the ones with Geography would do the soil tests, dig and some other boring stuff to do with tree's or maybe the weather, i have no idea really, it was all crap to me. I decided seeing as there were no P.E. students doing archery in the woods, i would go and walk about in them, jumping over the fence was as easy as it was the first time i ever came into here. I remember that day, i had been here a week and i had already walked out, a teacher had really bugged me with the essay 'who you love the most and why' i mean seriously! Who was i meant to pick? So anyway, i had walked out and decided to have a look around the site while having a fag. I still can't believe i cant smoke them anymore! So iwalked up to the top of the fields and the view of the woods was so dark and mysterious that it was immediatly exciting and enthralling, i knew from that day, this would be where i would go when things were too much, it was a place i could cry and no one would hear, care or do anything about it. Ahh! I love the feeling of momentarialy flying through the air, the feeling of the groundhitting your feet when you landand the feeling of satifaction over a good jump. It was little things likea sucessful jump over a fence or climbing a tree reallyfast or running with the wind, simple things, that put a rare smile on my face. I walked up the beaten path made by the runners and turned off at the treewith the red splodge of paint on it and clambered throughthe wilderness,past the berry bushes anddown by the lake, to the left just after where a tree had fallen down last summer, i found my trustworthy den. It wasbasciallya tree with weird roots, it left a big gap underneth the tree anyway,i lined it witha simple sheet i had found and washed in the river so not to get my clothes more dirtythanthey already were. No one knew of my den, just me, it was a place so secreti could be there all yearand no one would find me. I never got bored as i would watch the river trickle past me not 30cm away or the family of birds whichlived in the tree acrossfrom me, occasionally i sawthe family of foxes which liveddown theriver and on the opposite side of the bank, none of the animals minded me anymore, they knew i was here to sit and watch not harm or shout, they would just go about their buissness like everyone and everythink else around me. I knew that i should leave soon, so i could go back get mytutor mark, if i didn't theycontacted the home, i didn't live there... yet, if i missed too many marks though i would have to move there and have a phycologist pry intomy life 4 to5 times a week, i didn't want that even more than ididn't want to go home tomy Mum and Dad so they could carry on the things they did to me... I guess i better go now before i change my mind, i only have to have a month of full marks and the home will leave me alone for a while at least untili drop below 3 quartersof marks. Marks werethe things they gave youif you stayed the whole lesson and alsoat registration, in a dayyou were meant to get8, morning registration, 1st lesson, 2nd lesson, end of break (also tutor time), 3rd lesson, afterlunch (registration), 4th lesson and finally 5th lesson. But in order to receive these marks i had to stay the fulltime, today i have got two, one for registrationand one for 1st lesson but obviously i quit 2nd lesson half way through. I bestgo backthen break isprobably nearly over andi need all the marks i can get.
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