Chapter 1: The Sun Medallion

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 726
Comments: 9

The Sun Medallion


The story has begun 200 years ago when the fighting was between the white magic users, and the black magic users. At that time the forces of the two teams were almost equal until they discover medallion return to thousand years called the sun medallion.

Because of its amazing strength and its impact on both sides they decided unanimously to put the medallion in the temple to protect it and from that time no one knows where it is or what happened to it until this day.
200 years later……………..
Kadillak is one of the white magic user cities. It was place of nature and tranquility; because of that they call it peace city until that day has come when a handsome youngman has black hair, gray eyes and white skin, was wearing white pants and white shirt with red: shoes, sleeveless shirts in addition to red cloak was going to magic school where two people wearing full black clothes stab an old man wearing torn clothes near to the fountain then they take paper from his pocket and run away.
The old man could not bear the pain, so he falls down unconscious.
When Takua saw that he goes to the man and put one of his hand under his head, after while the man open his eyes and get out from his jacket sleeve old paper then he give it to him and said: “Take this map and protect the sun medallion” this was his last words before he dead in Takua arm. Takua can’t bear what happen, so he shouting loudly: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo” and he cry.
After few minute he standing on his grave and holding flowers then said: “I promise to protect the medallion”. Then he continues his way to school. Takua wasn’t the only who saw what happened, so the news spread quickly throughout the city.
In the class room a young man has blue-eyed white skin with soft brown hair wearing the magic school uniform was making a cake using magic in the air away from his table and he was moving his finger. When the teacher saw that, the student looking to the roof and moving his finger he thought that this student was thinking and imagine things that why he did these movements, and because the teacher didn’t notice the cake he stood directly under it, then he look at Shero and shouted in his face:“Shero”.
Shero scared, so he lost the control on the cake and its fall on teacher head, so the students laughing of the situation, which make the teacher angry and scream again in
Shero face, so to save himself from this dilemma, he pulled handkerchief from his table without attention that the ink stained it, and then he clean the teacher face with it, so as we said: “he makes it worse”.
The teacher become angry more than before at Shero, so he hold him from his cloak and then start of pulling him outside the classroom, but before making that a man has curly white hair, long white mustache and brown skin walked into the classroom and he was accompanied by a young girl has long black hair like the night with gray eyes and white skin like the snow was wearing a white short skirts and boot, short cloak and sleeveless shirt all in red.
When the man saw the teacher face and how he was holding Shero and want to throw him outside he prevent him by saying: “Forgave him this time only”.
There was no other choice for the teacher; because the person who told him that is the director of the school, so he let Shero and looks at him then said: “Only this time Shero” So Shero replied with smile.
So Gardy ask them to sitting in their place; because he want to tell them something important but before he start talking he saw one student missing, so he ask them: “ Where is Takua? He never be delayed before”
After few moments Takua take permission to enter in the classroom and he seems sad.
When Gardy saw that he knew that he is the student who witnesses the incident.
Gardy doesn’t want to hurt Takua again, but he must warn the students before it is too late, so when Takua sit Gardy start talking: “You know that our city is the stronger and the more safety city in the white magic cities” before he finished talking he saw that Takua feeling get worse, so he doesn’t say what happened exactly he just say: “But it doesn’t any more for that reason I ask every one of you to bring any medallion with him to put spell inside it to protect you and I prefer if there is special power in it. Any question?”
Everyone knows that Shero does not like to wear any kind of medallion even for a reason, so he lifting his hand and when Gardy gave him permission to speak, he stands then said: “Can’t we bring shoes? It has a power in kicking people”
Once Shero said that all the students laughed even Gardy laughed with them, then said: “No Shero you know that the medallion is the most powerful tools the magician have” Shero doesn’t like what he heard, so he sits and crossing his hands.
Gardy ask again: “Is there other question?” Nobody asks, so Gardy continue: “you can go to your homes now and start searching for a medallion if you do not have one” After that all the students leave.
Outside the golden sunlight reflected on the wet ground and it looking like pearls.
Shero doesn’t like anything that happened today, so he sat on chairs outside the school throwing stones and speaking with his friend Takua.
Shero: “What's up, my friend? Why are you sad?”
Takua answered: “What happened to me today is unbelievable”
Shero continued throwing stones then asked: “And what happened to you”
Takua: “Two people killed the good old man and he died in my arms”
Shero is shocked, so he throw the stones without pay attention where it gone. While a man was walking on his way the stones hit him in his head, so he put his hands on his hurt head and said: “Who did this?” Then he turned his head back where Takua and Shero are, but Shero denied what he did by saying: “Who did this?” And he moves his head once to the right and another to the left protesters that he did not know who did it. After the men leaving, Takua look at Shero with surprising but before saying anything.
Shero said: “What? Do you want me to tell him it was me to transform me into chicken? You know that he is one of the most powerful magician do we have”
Takua reply: “However you have to tell him the truth”
: “Sometimes you have to hide the truth; because it might hurt others”
Takua surprising: “Hurt him! How you will hurt him if you told him the truth?”
: “He is the one who will hurt me not I” they both silent for a moment then Shero ask: “From where I will bring medallion now?”
While Shero is worry Takua remember what the old man told him, so he answered: “I have one but I don’t even know its shape”
Shero look at him then said: “Is this solution to my problem or a new one?”
Takua laughing then said: “I do not know exactly, but the men before dying he gave me a map and said protect the Sun Medallion, so what you think. Are we going to bring it?”
Shero reply: “Of course we are going right now”
: “But Shero we didn’t change the school uniform yet”
Shero: “It doesn’t matter. We don’t have time to waste. Come on show me the map” Then he take a look on the map then he become angry then said: “What is this? Is it the game of searching for treasure? Where is this place?”
Takua smile then said: “I know this place, but the question is how we will go there?”
Shero replied: “They don’t teach us magic to play with”
Shero and Takua said some magic words then Shero transform into white dragon and Takua into Phoenix. After half hour they arrived to place almost like a desert, where the heat of sun was high and there was a lot of sand no evidence of life only statues.
When their feet touch the ground they returned into their human shape.
Shero: “Now what? There is nothing here; we have come this distance for the statues”
Takua: “They are not just statues look”
Then he looks at the statues, where they were opposed to each other and their eyes is made of crystal one in red and the other one blue.
Shero with angry voice: “Next time we have to make sure before we come and discover that it's just a game. Let's go”
Before transformation, Takua hold his hand then said: “If it’s a game why he hides the map?”
: “You are right, but there is nothing except these statues”
Takua: “that’s right but how many statues with crystal eyes do you saw in lifeless place?”
: “They are the first two”
Takua: “Which means………….”
Shero: “Which means there is a reason to put them here”
Takua: “That’s right”
Then they smile and look again to the statues and they noted that the crystal are moving, so they put each same two color together in one statues but nothing happened, sothey rearrange the crystal in each statue. They put in each one of the statues one of two colors but this time they arrange the crystal to make each color opposed the same color in the other statue.
Once they finished leasers get out from statues eyes, one in red and the other one in blue and the ground began to shake under their feet and from the dust an old temple get out. When saw that they surprising then said together: “Wow”
Shero smiling then said: “That’s great. Now let’s find a way to open this door”
Shero and Takua check everywhere around the temple, but they didn’t find anything, so they approached toward the door again and saw drawing shape:
And they were written put the number in from 1 to 8 but don’t put the serial number next to each other and there was an example:
Shero and Takua tried to solve this puzzle until they almost despair, but finally they open the door and that was the important thing. Now they are inside the temple where it almost eroded and intensity spider net in the entire place; because of darkness its looks like the horror house where there is only light which comes from the flame.
Shero hold the torch then said: “We have to stay together no matter of what happens”
Takua: “of course”
While they walking Takua note a writing thing on the wall, so he asked Shero to give him the torch. Shero doesn’t care to what it written; because the words looks like squares, circles and similar forms of the bird, so he called it birdy language, but he attractive into paint on the wall.
When he finished he said: “There is a stair”and he go there. The place become more dark then before that’s why when Takua look at the wall he imagine that his shadow want to eat him, so he following Shero, who was steps his first step on the stairs but he slip and rolled on the stairs then fell in a mud.
When Takua saw that he shouted: “Are you okay Shero?”
He answers: “Yes I’m fine”
When Shero is trying to stand, his hand hit a small wood and turned a large pot full of mud on him and it covered all his body.
Shero crossing his legs and put his hand on his cheek then said: “This is what was missing a mud bath”.
When Takua down the stairs and saw what happened to Shero he is laughing.
Shero: “instead of laughing at me come and help me to stand”
Takua: “Ok. Ok”
Shero was fully covered in mud; however he can stand because of Takua assistance.
He stands on the wall that opened up secret door and that make him lost his balance then fell and; because of his bad luck there was a large plastic bag extends from the beginning of the door until the end of the corridor, so his body stuck and the plastic bag surrounded him. When Takua go to help him he saw that Shero creeping like the worm, so he put his hand on his stomach and laughing.
Shero: “Stop laughing and give me hand here”
Takua stopped laughing and help Shero then said: “Wow Look at this place”
In this place the atmosphere was very high, because of volcano, but there was a stone bridge and on that bridge there is human skeleton. It wasn’t the only place where the skeleton is; because they were scattered throughout the place.
When Takua saw that he asks: “Is this a real volcano?”
: “I don’t know and I don’t care; because there is bridge”
Takua: “Is it safe? Whey there is a lot of skeleton there?”
Shero: “Stop asking”
Once they put their feet on the bridge it cut to small pieces. It’s only enough to put your feet above and it start moving.
Takua: “Oh my God I don’t want to die here”. Shero is scared too, but he doesn’t say anything, after that the piece that was Takua standing on gets closer to a wall where they written “use the magic if you dare” then it get away, after while Shero piece get closer to the same wall and when he read what written there he get angry and said: “let’s transform Takua”
But Takua stop him by saying: “No do you want to became skeleton”
Shero: “Of course no, but what written there ……………..”
Takua: “They wrote those words in understandable language to make anyone read it, then use the magic and face their fate”
: “Reasonable talking”
Takua doesn’t notice that there is piece get closer to him, so it’s hit his piece and he lost his balance and fall, but before he fall into volcano Shero catch his hand and while he trying to lift him a piece come and impact his piece then they both fell, but before falling into the volcano a mirror appeared from the bottom and pulls them then it disappeared and reappeared again from the top and dropped them at the door. Takua fell first and then Shero fell on him.
Shero: Is this death? Why I don’t feel pain?”
Takua is hurt so he answer: “Because you sit on me”
Shero pay attention that he was sit on Takua so he said: “sorry”
They don’t know how they survive or how they get here, but they continue their way to the other room where they saw drawing on the wall and on the ground there was six square. When they put their feet on one of square it’s glowing, so they know the solution and open the door then they quickly go to the next mystery.
Where a large moving square have drawing on them in the wall. They look at the wall and they remember the painting that they saw when they entered into temple.
Takua: “So they want us to arrange it”
This is the puzzle:

Submitted: December 20, 2009

© Copyright 2020 Lost Girl. All rights reserved.


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Add Your Comments:



there's humour in this! shereo landing on takua, lol. loved that part! and there's some parts that needs editing! =]

Tue, December 22nd, 2009 2:01pm


Thank you very much :D I'll keep that in mind :D

Wed, December 23rd, 2009 12:40am


i love this story it was one of the best i have every read i love the puzzel in it and i love the funny thing in it but i think you need to add more of romance i don't know i feel it don't have lot but in the end it's a good story :) i will ssupport you and will be waitting to read some thing else you write :)

Sun, December 27th, 2009 7:18pm


Thank you very much, well maybe you will find in next one, thank's for supportting me:D

Sun, December 27th, 2009 11:33pm


this is sooooo buityfull story i loved the thing that you are talking about the good and bad and the magic and the puzzel are so fun to solve and if you read what is between the line's you can learn a thing or two and beleave me it do my husband become a better person now :) and i would love to read more of this thanks for the fun and good luck i will support you and wait to read your next one.

you need to make your self more relax i could feel that you was a littel nerve's when you was writting the story and to make the word's as simple as you can that why you can make it more fun dear.

Tue, December 29th, 2009 4:18pm


Thank you very much :D. I always nerves when I writting,but I promise you to relax next time. Thank's for supporting me:D

Wed, December 30th, 2009 4:44am


I really liked that..I'm waiting for more!!! Really advanced like a real author would write!

Wed, December 30th, 2009 1:46pm


Thank you for what you said it means alot to me. If you want more wait my next novel:D

Thu, December 31st, 2009 12:17am


Wow, I'm really loving your story. :) Well done.
What I like about it so far is that it has humour in it and it can be serious at the same time.
Although, I've only read the first chapter, but I felt like I just had to comment already. ^_^
I love the puzzle you added in the end of the first chapter.
And I loved the part when Shero said: “This is what was missing a mud bath”.

Thu, December 31st, 2009 9:52am


Thank you for your comment ^_^ I'm happy that you like it:D.
Yeah when I was writing it I was laughing too:D.
Thank you very much your comment mean alot to me ^_^

Fri, January 1st, 2010 11:04pm


Okay, so this is how I leave my comments: spew out whatever comes to mind. So first… I think you could cut your sentences. Third paragraph (Kadillak…) is a run-on. There is also some tense mixture in there: I dunno what you wanna stick with, past or present tense? You could improve on your grammar and flow --- they kinda tie in together. I think the story is interesting, but there are things you can improve just so it’s easier to read and more understandable. Thanks for asking me to read your story!! Whenever you have time to edit it and proofread, please update me =). By the way, Sun Medallion sounds really tight. Creative story!

Thu, December 31st, 2009 5:28pm


You are right, next time I'll take my time to edit the new stories ^_^ and I'll keep what you say in mind :D.
Thank you for reading and leaving comment.

Fri, January 1st, 2010 11:21pm


This is very beautiful. Reminds me of "Harry Potter" for some reason. I love your writing style. Might want to work on the formatting though, but that's Booksie's fault I presume. Great job! xD

Thu, December 31st, 2009 9:41pm


Thank you very much :D. I was afraid of my writing style; because it's different, so I'm glad that you like it ^_^.
Thank you for your comment and reading :D

Fri, January 1st, 2010 11:30pm


....... WHOA! There are run-on sentences all over the place! You may want to take advantage of the period... your writing style is a little hard to follow...

There are a lot of grammar errors getting in the way of a story that could be really good. Even in the introduction there are grammar errors.

"The story talking about a powerfull medallion, whom get in Shero hands after he with his friend getting in sad, happy, laughing situation's and they even solve puzzel just to get it. But Is getting the medallion is the end of the story or just the begining? Let us find out together. "

Um, you're kind of revealing too much about your story in the introduction. The puzzles and the "happy, sad, laughing situations" should be a pleasant surprise to the reader! You want to tell them just enough to pull them in. Maybe it should read more like this:

"Shero and his friends have struggled to get their hands on the powerful Sun Medallion. But is getting the medallion the end of their story, or just the beginning?"

Also, it looks like most of your story is in present tense, but you throw in some past tense words, too. Like, "When Takua SAW this he ASKS." Saw is past tense. Asks is present tense. You can do either one, but you can't do both! Please pick one and stick with it.

And then you switch between dialogue with quotation marks like 'Takua says, "blah blah"" and dialogue in script format, like Takua: "blah blah." You can't switch back and forth! You have to pick one style and stick with it!

All in all, the story needs a major grammatical overhaul. At least if you want Americans and English to respect it.

I'm not all doom and gloom, though! I think that your story is very creative and humorous. I especially like the puzzles that you've designed.

If you need/want any help with the grammar, I'd be extra happy to help. Just comment on my page.

Fri, January 8th, 2010 4:48am


Thank's for your comment:D it's really help me alot, and open my eyes on important thing's ^_^. I'll not forgot that to you :D thank's again:D

Fri, January 8th, 2010 12:10am


Hello Lost Girl :) I just read your story. Interesting! I mean it could really be great. But I would have to agree with Samantha Taylor. Your grammar could use a bit of work. In some parts I got lost due to the run on sentences. And in some cases, I got a bit confused as to what you were trying to say. I enjoyed the parts where you placed your original drawings to make the story clearer for your readers.

You have a very creative mind. Just work on how you present your ideas to your readers :D

Sat, January 30th, 2010 12:39pm


Thanks for your comment ^_^, well my grammar is weak for sorrow :( I don't know how I'll hold on, but I will do my best next time :D, thank you for your comment again

Mon, February 1st, 2010 12:33am

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