In life there are things that are inevitable. Pain, happiness, and sadness are just a few of them. I was 15 when I started to realize I don’t fit in. A new school, new people, new drama, and none of it mattered to me. I don’t want to go too far saying that I’m above it but I constantly thought in my head while I watched two former best friends tear each other apart, is it all worth it? I watched two friends of mine who have been friends since sixth grade fight over a fucking pencil. But while they were smacking each other it didn’t occur for me to stop it, what occurred to me is this is stupid. Friends fighting over a pencil, now they’re no longer friends because of a pencil. A mechanical pencil determined the worth of their friendship. I lost a good friend of mine this past year. She isn’t dead, we just aren’t friends and I see things everyday that I want to tell her. But how do you reconnect with someone? I thought about texting her just saying I miss you, this is stupid. But what if she doesn’t want me to? I contemplate these things daily. I pray and hoped that our friendship was worth more than that but now as a sophomore I understand now that people are cutthroat. They honestly don’t give a fuck and it’s sad. I like to think I have more compassion than others but it’s probably not true.
“Avery! Its time for school!” my mom shouted at me from the kitchen. I have a sudden urge to yell back I don’t care but that will only end with her smacking me so I refrain myself. I grab my backpack and head down the steps.
“What is taking you so damn long?” I have a snarky reply but instead I don’t say anything because I don’t feel like dodging and weaving from her fist. It takes only five minutes to get to school. I have the same routine everyday. Wake up. Go to school. Do 500 hours of homework. Eat. Sleep. Everyday I do the same shit over and over again and I’m sick of it. I yearn for something that matters, something that will make this life worth living. In the hall I’m surrounded by people I’ve known for about a year now, they never change. It’s the same thing every year. Who’s hooking up with who, who hates who, and etc. I get all the way to first hour to realize I left my stuff in my locker. I escape from APUSH to go to my locker and when I get there, there is a mysterious person next to my locker.
“Um Excuse me, I need to get to my locker” I say very politely in spite of my mood but the tall, sleek person doesn’t move. Not even a inch. I repeat myself one more time and I get the same results. Maybe he thinks because of my small 5’1 frame that I’ll easily walk away but I love a challenge. Some type of excitement in this place is just what I needed. I push him slightly and he smacks my hand like I just tried to rob him!
“What the hell is your problem? You are in front of my locker!” I say now very irritated. But he still doesn’t move, just stares at me in the eyes. Usually this would intimidate me but for some reason I’m captivated. His icy blue eyes are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. We stay like that for a minute but suddenly he moves to the left so I can get my things out of my locker. I slide past him and get my things but I can’t forget the little stare off we just had a minute ago.
“What is your name?” a husky voice from behind me says, I know it’s him. I ignore him at first until he touches me, and instantly sparks fly from my shoulder all the way down to well you know. His hand stays firm on my shoulder for a while and I let it stay there. I stand still as a statue until he moves his hand. I get my things and go to class but the whole time I’m there I’m thinking of him. I don’t even know his name and I feel drawn to him. I have a sudden urge to go look for him and ask him his name but I don’t, I need to concentrate. As soon as the bell rings, I run to my locker secretly hoping he would be there but he wasn’t. My guy is gone, and I have no clue how to find him. I go to second hour, which happens to be the worst hour of my day. Its newspaper, I’m supposed to be active and be a reporter but I don’t like begging people to talk to me. If they don’t want to talk then that should be it but that’s not the case.
“Okay, class deadlines are coming up! Get to work!” Ms. Redman says shouting at the very few people paying attention to her. But the whole time while I’m interviewing people, he is on my mind. The way just once touch enlightened my whole body has never happened to me when my ex touched me. As I’m interviewing people I see him again and I know that I have to go now because I may never see him again.
“Excuse me, I have to go but I’ll be right back!” I say to the captain of the baseball team. He see’s me when running towards him and he smiles. Even though I just met him his smile makes my stomach flutter. When I finally get to him we have a stare off like we just did an hour ago.
“Hi.” That husky voice says to me, the voice that I’ve been dying to hear for the last hour.
“I think its only fair you tell me your name” I say with a new sense of confidence. He doesn’t say anything so we do our little stare off again but unlike the first time it feels like home.
“Silas” he says. I continue to stare into his icy blue eyes, amazed by their beauty.
“Now you know my name so tell me yours, I asked you earlier and you ignored me” I contemplate telling him, for the first time ever in my life I feel at eased. I know it seems like a bit of a stretch but its true, it really it is. I cant explain it.
“Avery” I say, he smiles and his eyes light up at the sound of my name.
“A beautiful name for a gorgeous girl” he says “ Lets get out of here.”
I know I shouldn’t skip seeing how its only second hour but I need to know more about him. As he walks away I start to follow him of course, he sees that I’m behind him and interlocks our hands. We walk out of the school doors and he leads me to his car. It’s a 4X4 Jeep, all black.
“Silas, this is my dream car” I say staring at the car like it was Jehovah in the flesh.
He smiles and then says, “Do you want to drive?”
For a brief second my heart stops, I just met him and he is letting me drive his car. I grab the keys, and hop in the car. I start the car before Silas is even in it.
“Whoa, slow down Av.” He says with a chuckle. A sound that I never want to forget. I look over at him and he already is looking at me. I pull out of the parking lot and stop at the light with no clue where we are going.
“Where are we going?” I say rapidly because the light is about to turn green.
“To breakfast, you know where the pancake house is?” I nod. I turn left when the light finally turns green. The ride to the restaurant is uneventful, but comforting. I sound like one of those girls in a cheesy romance novel. When we get there we are seated at a booth. I already know what I want, so I don’t bother to look at the menu.
“You already know what you want?” he says
“ Yeah, I come here a lot.” I say hesitant and filled with the worry of sounding fat.
Our waiter comes and takes our orders but something seems off. I think he is trying to flirt with me but I don’t know. I’m not good at detecting these types of things so I look over at S and he looks enraged. His fist is balled and his face is red.
“Hey, what’s wrong with you?” I say genuinely worried. It takes him at least 20 minutes to respond to what I just asked him.
“That guy is flirting with you, don’t tell me you didn’t notice it?” he says finally un-balling his fist. I laugh, and just shake my head. Maybe I do have good radar.
“That’s not funny Av, I’m really jealous” S says while putting his head in his hands. I reach over to grab them and that same spark that I felt before is back.
“Look I’m sorry, we can get him back by not leaving a tip okay?” I take our intertwined hands and kiss them. Finally our food comes; while we eat we talk about ourselves. Silas tells me that he has 2 younger brothers, and that his parents are scientist. He has interesting stories about traveling the world while I have never left the country.
“Your life is exciting and adventurous, I have never left the country” I said. He looks at me before he answers. In the short time I have known him; I know his pattern. After I say something he looks at my face for what he should say.
“We can go somewhere, where ever you want when we graduate.” Silas said sincerely. I am amazed, I’ve known him for a few hours and we are already making plans for our future.
“I want to go somewhere tropical, like Peru or something.” I said to my guy. Its funny how I have known him for 2 seconds, and he is already my guy.
“I’ve been there before but if it’s where you want to go I’m down.” Silas said while taking the last bite of his pancakes. For a second I step out of my comfort zone and decide to be brave for once in my 15 years of life.
“I’m going to Spain with the school at the end of June…” I debate on stopping but what the hell. I keep going. “ And I want you to come with me.”
Of course he is calm, and collected while I’m silently having a panic attack.
“Of course I’ll go with you.” Silas says while kissing our hands that are still intertwined. I reach in my pockets to pay for my food and Silas has already given the waiter 40 dollars. I was going to argue with him about it but the look he gives me tells me I better not. Like we promised earlier we didn’t leave a tip. When we got to the car, I needed to go back to school but I wanted to spend more time with him. I wanted to get to know him better, no what makes him tick. I try pushing my limits in the car to get a reaction out of him. While Silas is driving I rub his thigh and knee, for 5 minutes he doesn’t do anything. Just keeps staring at the road but finally he cracked.
“If you keep doing that we are going to have a problem, I am already turned on. Its killing me not to stop this car and take you right here.” He says while not even looking at me. How can you say something with so much passion and not even look at the source? I moved my hand. I was hesitant; I wanted him to fulfill his threat to me. For the first time ever, I, Avery was attracted to someone else. Wow. What did I get myself in to?
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