Chapter 7: New connections

”Did you hear?” My ears perked up at the sound and I turned to face the two hunters gossiping behind me. ”Some of our guys found Ren, but let him get away.” Ren! What could have happened? Did he get injured? Thoughts not belonging to me echoed in my mind.

”I heard that defect killed most of the search group.” I could feel anger bubble inside my chest.

”You take that back.” I spoke with a soft voice that did not belong to me either. ”Ren is not a defect.” What a stern tone I used.

They scoffed at me, very condescending expressions forming on their faces. ”Of course, you would say that, Lily.” Lily? My Lily? ”You've always had some weird obsession on that defect.”

”He's not. A. Defect.” I was very pissed off or I guess it was more like Lily was.

”What else could he be? He's broken and you know that better than anyone.” The words coming from the hunter's mouth made my hands- no claws stiffen up, ready to fight. Lily has claws, too. Just not on her feet?

Lily grabbed onto the mouthy hunter glaring into his frightened gray eyes. ”He might be broken, but he's a hundred times more valuable than you will ever be.” She huffed in anger. ”You can keep trash-talking him if it makes you feel better about your pathetic self. But you will never be better than him in any aspect of your miserable life.” She pushed him away with a lot of anger-driven force before grinning maliciously at the two. ”Now if you'll excuse me, I have actually important things to do. Don't let me see you again.” Then she stormed off. I could feel her heart beating at a rapid pace due to the adrenaline rush she had gotten from that encounter with the hunters.

She flung a bathroom door open before slamming it shut and leaning on the bathroom sink while shaking in rage. When she looked at herself in the mirror, I could feel my heart skip a beat as I became breathless. It was Lily. Her beautiful blue eyes had been replaced with brown ones. They were different shades. One amber and one chocolate. Just like mine. But mirrored.

”Ren...?” Her voice shook but I wasn't able to react before everything went dark again.

I gasped, my eyes snapping open. It was strange. I couldn't feel anything and my vision was mostly filled with a ball of light. A lamp maybe? As I was trying to figure out where I was I could make out some silhouettes of people around my... Panic. Horror. This was a nightmare. This wasn't real. I wasn't being cut open by a group of scientists.

I couldn't help the scream from escaping me. I couldn't move. But I wanted out. But if I left when they were operating, I would die for sure. It would be the best outcome. Death. Yes. That's it. I could die. But... I still couldn't move. My breathing shivered from fear as I slowly began to realize that there was no escaping this.

”No! Stop!” I screamed in the hopes that the scientist would simply leave me be. Of course, that was just wishful thinking. Then I saw someone place a hand on my cheek. I couldn't feel it either. I was completely numb. I tried my best to see who the hand belonged to and following the arm, I found the face connected to it. It was Jay. He was smiling at me, but he looked sad. If he was here. I didn't have to worry. He... Would he betray me? Had he done so? But he was always there for me. My head began to feel fuzzy. Was I going to fall asleep? Please don't leave me. I'm scared. He was saying something. What was it?

”Don't-” Don't what?

”Worry-” Of course, I'd worry. This is a scene straight from my nightmares.

”I-” You?

”Will-” What? What will you do? Leave? No. I don't-

”Watch-” Watch? What are you saying?

”After-” This is making no sense!

”You.” Oh. A strong sense of relief washed over me at his words. He was making sure I'd be fine. My vision was fuzzy so I was most likely crying. I really hoped I would get to hug him after this nightmare.

”Thank you...” I whispered to his smiling face. And with that, I lost consciousness once again.

So white. Where am I? I tried to scan my surroundings, but keeping my eyes open in this light was way too hard for me. Oddly enough the pain I usually felt burning my body to a crisp wasn't there. It was very pleasant and relaxing. I wonder what had happened. I tried to turn but soon realized my body was still quite numb.

Right. I had been in the operation room for god knows how long. Raven had told me she wished to fix her past mistakes. Which meant going through my entire body and fixing it. I had been very against all of it since I had zero trust in that... I don't even know what to call her. I guess she had tried her best to make amends, considering all the bioweapons she had helped over the years. She had also told us to not call them that anymore. Biohumans was apparently how they were called in this city. Agh. It messes with my head.

I opened my eyes to inspect the room I was in, now that I was finally adjusted to the lighting. It was a hospital room of sorts. I was plugged into some devices that I didn't care to inspect too closely. Especially when something much more important caught my eye. Jay. He was sleeping next to me on the hospital bed. Was that even allowed? Not like I minded it. But I was worried over him. This lighting really made his cherry blossom-like hair shine in all its softness. He looked so much like a sleeping angel in that moment.

With slight difficulty, I moved closer to his face with my own and gave his forehead a kiss. This much should be fine between friends, I think. He had been there when I woke up the last time too. In the operating room. I sighed, not enjoying that memory at all. It really had been a nightmare. I imagine the shock from that dream I had before waking, and the drugs I had been given, made me forget my surroundings and the like. It had been a terrifying experience for me. Thankfully he had been there to watch over me. I don't think it would've turned out nearly as well as it did this time, had he not been there.

I sighed again, deciding to look around our small room. That dream I had. It wasn't just a dream, was it? It felt way too real and... I hadn't seen Lily in years. There's no way I would've been able to imagine all that, is there..? I wonder what triggered it? Are we connected in some way? Could I maybe connect with her again? She had been livid. Because some hunters were gossiping about me. Well, at least she hadn't forgotten about me.

Now that I knew she was alive, though. I needed to go get her. Save her like she had saved me. But how would that work in practice? Theory? I would have to go back to that forsaken city. I would probably also have to break into the lab. What a headache. I would have to discuss that with Eileen and Jay later. Raven would probably have to be brought in for that too. Who knows. Maybe she'll even offer to help in some way. But that would have to wait for a little while longer.

So as I waited I decided to brood over some other things. Like my feelings for my friend, right there. I had never felt this way before and it was honestly very confusing. Being with him gave me peace of mind and I enjoyed his presence a lot. It was very kind and soft. This gentle warmth always seemed to follow him around wherever he went. That I didn't mind. What I minded was all the other crazy shit no one had ever warned me about. Like how my heart would randomly beat faster than is humanly possible just because of him and his dumb face. Or how I suddenly want to touch him so bad it makes me go insane. How hot he makes me feel. It's all too strange!

Yet... I still don't want it to stop for some reason. It feels good in a very bizarre way. It gives me strength to move on with my life. Maybe I could even put an end to all this thanks to him. Of course, I'm still scared of many things. But the scariest thought I've had in a long time was losing him. Putting him in danger. Him getting hurt. It was all terrifying.

But the relief I felt when I knew he was safe was even more crushing than the fear I had about losing him. As long as he was safe, I felt like I could do anything. With him, nothing felt like an impossibility. To think not even a week has passed since I thought it was impossible for me to ever befriend anyone or be treated as an equal. That I would never get rid of the constant pains that plagued my body every day. That there could never be a day that I could live a normal life. That I could never fall in love. Have a family. I couldn't live among people. That I was doomed to live alone in a forest, excluded from society. How things have changed.

I gave a loving look to my sleeping friend. Just so very grateful that he was in my life now. ”Thank you, Jay.” He kept on tuffing in his sleep, which was quite adorable. A grin spread on my lips as I watched him. ”I love you.” My words were met by more of his sleepy mumbles.

Then I heard the door opening and turned to look in its direction. ”Oh, you're awake!” It was Eileen. How cheerful she seemed to be.

”Yeah. I woke up a while ago.” I stated nonchalantly. Eileen was also someone that deserved my thanks. Without her who knows if we would have ever even made it here. It felt too awkward to thank her out of the blue though. So I just kept my mouth shut.

”Is he still sleeping?” The ex-hunter commented as she walked next to the bed and sat down on one of the chairs by it.

”Yeah. So keep your voice down.” I huffed, acting a tad too protectively maybe. ”He needs to rest too.” An obvious statement but it needed to be said.

”He did stay up looking after you for a long time.” She commented with a hopeless frown. Then she sighed and shook her head. ”But what can you do. He worries way too much.” Her words made me look at him in concern. What she had said was true. He had never once left my side. Not once after that day by my old nest of sorts. I had told him to run. That was the only time he wasn't by my side since the day we met.

”You think it's bad for him to be by my side constantly?” I asked, wanting assurance from someone other than Jay himself. If I was harming him I wanted to know about it.

”Hmm...” She seemed to fall in thought for a little bit, before giving me a very calm stare. ”Not really. It can become a problem if neither of you get any alone time ever. But considering the circumstances, I'd say it does good for him to be around you a lot.” She'd then shrug in all her nonchalantness. I was quite happy to share a secret language just between the two of us. It felt like we understood each other in a very different way from the others. Sure she seemed to like showing certain emotions a lot. Her cheer was proof of that. But often times when we conversed we would use a very straightforward way of speaking. It just came sort of naturally to us. Or well at least me. Who knows if she was just matching my way of speaking or not. Nevertheless, it made me feel quite content.

”That's good to hear.” I sighed, continuing to watch over my friend. ”There's actually something I would like to discuss with you two and Raven. Would you be able to get her while I wake Jay up?”

Eileen gained a grin on her face and that did not mean good for me. ”I know you just wanna spend some alone time with him. No need to make excuses.” Well, now my face was on fire. Great. ”I'll go get some coffee and stroll around the park for a bit. Then I'll go get Raven. Deal?”

”Deal...” How embarrassing. She had gotten to know me too well.

”Were you thinking on confessing?” The ladyship of deviousness asked as she began to take her leave.

”No. Or well,... Maybe.” This was not helping me at all. Without your smug remarks, I might've been able to do it, you prick! Now though, I'm way too flustered to even think about it. ”If the mood is right I might. He's already across the border so he won't be in danger without me watching over him either.” Ahhh! My heart was doing that damn thing again! Damn you, Eileen! ”Just go already!” Damn, I raised my voice. At least Jay hadn't completely woken up yet.

”Yeah, yeah, you lovesick moron. I'll go.” I just glared at her with my flushed face and flustered gaze. When she was out of the room and the door was closed I turned my attention to, sigh. Jay. He was cuddling me while making desperate whimpers and whines. I guess, he didn't want to be woken up yet.

”Jay.” I whispered, moving my hand to gently caress his hair. ”You need to wake up.”

”Mmh.” He mumbled, raising his hand to my face in his sleepy haze. ”Whyyy~?” The guy whined with an impressive pout. ”Can't we just stay like this? It feels so comfy here.” His complaining got a laugh out of me. He was just so precious.

”We have to talk.” My comment made him perk up and open his eyes. ”You awake now?” His cheeks began glowing red and he sat up while rubbing his eyes sleepily.

”Yeah...” He mumbled seemingly quite embarrassed of his sleepy behavior. ”You wanted to talk. Did something happen?” Still, refusing to look at me? Fine.

”Yeah. I had a... weird experience when I fell under the anesthesia and sleep medication.” Weird indeed. It was very bizarre, but I'd rather not freak him out too hard.

”Experience?” Now he was looking at me. Why did I want him to do that again? His gaze was making me nervous.

”Yeah, um.” I swallowed, trying to find a way to explain what had happened in that... dream of mine. ”It was sort of like I had a dream.” Jay kept being attentive, nodding to confirm that he had been listening. ”I was Lily in it.” There was a short silence before he let out some incoherent mumbles.

”The one that helped you escape Gene corp?” He asked with a confused frown. ”Do you even remember what she looks like?”

”Um... It wasn't the child version anyway.” The guy grew even more confused. ”I saw her as she looks right now.” Did I have any proof of that claim? No. Did I have a strong gut feeling? Yes. Could I still be very wrong about this? Absolutely.

”And how is that possible?” He questioned in his neverending confusslement.

”I don't know.” I had to admit. I had absolutely zero clue on how this had happened. ”In the dream, I could feel the things she was feeling, and see the things she was seeing. I couldn't control any of it. I was just there. As if I had been transported into her mind.” A heavy sigh left me as I visited that memory again. It had been such a strange feeling. ”The weirdest part is that... that she noticed me.”

”What?”

”She looked in the mirror and saw me. She called out my name.”

”What?”

”She knew I was there.”

”That's not what I'm asking!” Well, Jay was freaking out. Great. ”Let's say that your consciousness was in some magical bullshit way transported into her mind.” The way he was acting made me quite curious. Was he trying to rationalize this nonsense? ”How. In the living fuckwad bullshit would she be able to tell that you're there!?” He took a deep breath to compose himself, which meant he was not done with his rant yet. ”I would understand if she heard your thoughts in her head. That would be logical.” Yes, it would. ”But she saw you? In the mirror? That makes zero fucking sense to me.”

”I get that. It makes no sense to me either.” I sighed shaking my head. ”But I can't deny that I somehow did it.” If I could do it again, would that be of any use? Agh! This was making me feel crazy. ”I wonder if it had something to do with my subconsciousness? I've never tried to connect with her because I thought she was dead. But now that I know she isn't I suddenly get transported into her head? I don't know this is all so messed up.”

Jay's expression softened and he pulled me in for a hug. ”It's okay. I do believe you.” That was relieving. ”If you want we can try establishing the connection again. Maybe it's purely thought-based? Even instinctual. I don't know. But we can try.” A small smile crept on my lips due to his words. Always so eager to help.

I sighed again, before pulling back and giving him an unsure pout. ”What do you recommend I do then?”

”Follow your instincts. You're part wild beast after all.” He attempted to joke, which made me just raise a brow at him. Then I sighed trying to figure out how to follow his suggestion. Instincts. My instincts. What were they telling me to do? I fell in thought, trying to follow my instincts. It was like they were telling me to close my eyes. So I did that. Then I should lay down which I was already doing so that was a useless feeling to have. What next. Lily. That was all you were giving me? So frustrating. Guess I should try thinking about her then. Where she is. Most likely in that lab or near it. So general area in Dandelion Valley. She had golden hair, brown and amber eyes, and pale skin. She had been mixed with a dove when she became a bio... human. Or I think it was a dove. Her wings were white and well, my instincts were telling me that so let's just go with it. Who was she to me? A dear friend I wished to save.

Everything started swirling and I lost consciousness.

Or so I thought. I was in her head. Again. She was flying around Dandelion Valley. It was quite fun, even if I had never been able to fully enjoy it. She landed on a roof, observing the hustle and bustle of the humans. I wonder what that was yesterday. Did I really see Ren? But he was a lot older. And he was behind my eyes? How does that make sense? She sighed heavily, seeming quite confused. So she had seen me. This is proof enough that I didn't imagine it. Now to find a way back. Instincts was it? Tune out everything but my own thoughts? Okay then. Hopefully, this works. Where am I? At Corhaven laboratory in Crowmore. I have black disorderly hair and I was mixed with a crow when I became a biohuman. I am me. My own body. I am Ren.

I gasped, snapping my eyes open to see the familiar hospital room. Was this the way I was going to get back every time? If so it's going to get tiring. So tiring.

”Ren!? Are you okay?” Why was Jay panicking? I turned to look at him with a confused frown and he sighed in relief. What the hell? ”I thought something happened to you. You stopped responding to everything and I was afraid you would stay like that for hours or even days. It was like you had fallen into a coma!” He rambled, worry seeming to consume his entire being.

”It's okay.” I pulled him closer to me so I could hug him, which did seem to calm him down a little bit. ”My consciousness was elsewhere so that's why I wasn't responding.” I explained, petting his soft and fluffy hair.

”Did it work? Did you visit her mind again?” He was still very obviously worried but also curious.

”Yes.” I nodded, thinking back on that strange experience. ”I know how to connect with her now. At least in some way. It's a bit weird. But yeah. It worked.”

”That's good.” He sighed, relaxing a bit more.

”I have something to ask you.” I hope my tone didn't come off too serious.

”Go ahead.” My friend didn't seem bothered by it at least.

”Would you be upset if I went back to Dandelion Valley so I could save Lily?” I was very nervous about his answer, even though none of it really showed through my emotionless stone of a face.

”If you went alone, yes.” He answered with absolute certainty. I could probably get Eileen to come with me. I don't think she'd be in that much danger. ”I'm coming with you.” What confidence. Wait-

”What?!”

”I'm coming with you or you're not going.” The guy huffed in a way like I had no say in it. It had been decided by the council of Jay.

I sighed, frowning at him in desperation. ”It's going to be really dangerous. I can't put you in a situation like that.” No way in hell.

”Then I can't let you put yourself in danger like that either.” Snarky bastard. If I told him about my feelings maybe that would make him stay? If not then I'd be a little more at ease even if he came with. Or maybe it depends on how he takes these news.

I sighed again, wondering what the best course of action would be. Honesty? Or Stubbornness? Both sound good, but Jay was way more stubborn than me when it came to these things. I took a deep breath, my heart beginning to beat like mad. Was this it? Was I going to confess? ”I'll let you come with on one condition.” I gave him a stern stare, my cheeks probably starting to resemble beetroots.

”That is?” He responded curiously.

”Or actually, make that two. One, you can't leave my side. If you have to stay behind, you will stay with Eileen. You're not going to wander around by yourself. Got that?” He nodded with a very attentive gaze. It was making me lose my mind. ”Good.” I sat up prompting him to do that as well. Another deep breath. This was going to be very difficult. ”Second, you listen to something I have to say right now.”

”Okay.” Why was he so damn attentive?

My heart was pounding as my gut twisted in that odd way, for which he was the cause. ”I love you.” Took a moment before I could continue, since somehow saying that had made me winded. ”Not the kind that's between friends.” I had to swallow and stop to breathe. These feelings made no sense, yet they did. ”Eileen asked if we were a couple and honestly I wanted to be one.” Why was my heart so loud and painful. ”You remember when I pushed you away from me in the forest? I... That time the urge to kiss you was just too strong. The feelings you invoke in me, they're like a firey storm. I don't want to do things you dislike so I had to get further from you. To not lose control of myself.” His silence had tears rising to my eyes. These feelings were so overwhelming for me. But he had nothing to say. It... it hurt. ”I know it isn't what you want to hear. I know that. I just-” Oh no. The tears. They were escaping. Fuck. ”I don't want you to risk your life without knowing this. It- it wouldn't be right.” Fine. If you don't want to say anything, I'll leave. I was just about to spread my wings when Jay cupped my cheek and kissed me full on the lips. What? I didn't know what to do. I could only cling to him and hope kissing him back was okay.

When he pulled back, his eyes were glowing in a weird way. ”I love you too, Ren.” So that's what it was. Wait what?

”You what?”

”I love you.” His breathing was heavy and he began to look ashamed. ”I'm sorry I didn't respond right away. I just. I was so surprised. I couldn't think, let alone speak.” He'd ramble nervously, doing these fidgety movements with his entire body. ”I'm sorry for kissing you too. I just didn't know what else to do. Sorry.”

I just stared at him in shock. This had not been what I expected. In the least. ”S-so... what you're saying is...” I swallowed, trying my best to keep up our eye contact. Not like it was that difficult. Getting lost in his eyes was easy. They were just so gorgeous. Like frozen lakes. ”You want to be in a relationship with me?”

”Yes! God yes!” How desperate. He cupped my cheeks again to just stare into my eyes. My heart was still pounding so hard that it hurt. No. It was beating faster.

”You don't care that I'm... Not human. That my body is different? That I'm not a woman? You don't... mind?” It hurt so much to wait for his answer. Was love always this painful?

”No. I don't give a single shit.” He answered with an adorable chuckle. ”I actually prefer men.” Why did he sound ashamed? ”I really don't care what you are. You are you. And I love you. I want you.” Want?

My cheeks suddenly felt even hotter than before as the urge to kiss him got stronger again. I wanted to kiss him till he begged for me to stop. Chill! You moron. I swallowed, placing my hand on his cheek. ”M-me too.” Then we kissed. For the second time. It made my gut twist while my heartbeat rang in my ears. I wanted him so badly it hurt.

Then I heard the door open and we both jumped away from each other, our faces flushed bright red. I could hear Eileen snort as she stepped into the room, followed by Raven. ”I brought her for the discussion.” Why did she have to come now? My feelings are still all over the place.

”Thank you, Eileen.” I snapped at her with a flustered glare.

”No prob, kid.” Sigh. She was impossible