IN THE BEGINNING
The dreadful sound of the alarm clock wakes me up. I only wish there was a snooze button that I could hit. But then I force myself to drag myself down stairs to my fiance Brian Storm who is sitting at the table for breakfast. After we sit and talk, he ships me off to my work, which is a Pediatricians office in Atlanta, Georgia.
On the way there I take a taxi, I automatically feel like like somethings wrong, but that might just the musky air of the taxi getting to my head. I get to the office and pay the taxi driver. I walk into an eerie hallway that always makes a bit anxious, but my mind quickly thinks of the day ahead. Things are slow at the office, and the hours seem to go by long and slow, but finally 5 o'clock rolls around and it's time to go home. And again I take a taxi back to my home, as I always do I tell them to stop at the end of my block; I pay them again, and walk away. I come to the door which is cluttered in leaves from fall. When I walk inside it is dark as usual until I turn on the light. Right then I see a figure on the ground. I can't quite make out what it is, but then my eyes come into focus to see a glassy stare looking back at me...Brian. I dropped my stuff and grab the phone. I dial, but it is taking too long. I can’t handle what’s happening and I throw the phone down hard. I run to him and check everything to see what happened. There was nothing out of the ordinary, but I realize if I touch anything it will look like I did it. I run out of the house into the uncut grass.
The police arrive and scatter.
I can't hold my emotions; I fall to the ground and start bawling. Police come and help me. They tell me everything is alright, liars my fiancé is dead how is anything fine. I think to myself, why ever trust cops. I fall again to the ground into the uncut grass and I feel untouched and full of thoughts. How will I live now?
I don't think I can go on, but the police drag me through the woods to their light flashing cars. Sticks crackle under our feet and the wind whistles through my ears. The first thing I think, I know what they're going to say, they think I did it. I will not be blamed for Brian; I know that this shouldn’t have never ever happened. This can't happen, but of course they tell me that they're only taking me to ask me questions. I can’t move, suddenly I don't believe them. I fight and yell and argue. Every moment from now on Brian’s stare follows me. I'm trapped am in a daze and I can’t get out. I push away the cops and sit randomly in the woods as they try to pick me I don't budge. I think and think I just don't understand what happened. I don't know what happens now that they can't pick me up. I feel mixed emotions, scared, stupid, mad, confused, and sad but most emotions can’t describe this pain. I feel stupid now I stand and shake off the leaves. Rattles come from all directions, the creek flows, and I get taken to the big house. This world isn't fair if you take Brian's life take mine. I am frustrated and crying. I feel nothing, I feel like a ghost numb as can be.
On the way there in a rusty old cop car, decorated in mud from a high speed chase from a week ago. Who knew my life could flash before my eyes? I am so confused behind the musky smell of this car. We arrive at jail, after the lights stop flashing in the fall evening; they handcuff me and lead me in through two steel doors. They also lead me to a barred room, about a six by six. Cramped, but still alive. Once I'm at jail, after the lights stop flashing in the fall evening, I'm completely lonely there for the night. I feel unwanted and I feel isolated. I don't want to do anything except sleep in this small, cramped bed behind these rusty bars. I twisted and turned on this cold, hard, stony bed. I think who might have killed Brian. I came up with a few and wrote them down.
Boss: Matt Taylor
Employee: Andrew Niana
Ex-Friend: Daniel Mendune
But I don't think any one of those people killed him. I toss and turn thinking. I finally fell asleep to be actually woken up. The first thing I know they want to ask questions now. I stand up and walk with them to a steel doored room and they shut and lock the door, loud.
They sit down and stare in my eyes and say “Charlotte he didn't die from anyone, his heart gave out we think." I thought about it and it makes sense because he had been taking heart medicine, but the thing I don't get is he had took them since he was twenty and he was perfect until now, he was 30, why did things happen now and not then? Now I know this was on purpose. But why, Who?
When I'm free to go, I rush to my mother’s house and I really didn't notice that a small white car had followed me there and parked. I ran straight to my mother like I'm coming home from the worst day of school like a six year old, and I am a 24 year old. I don't say anything but she does, she says "Come inside." I follow her into my old room that was covered in butterflies and flowers all up and down the walls from when I was 10 and we sat on my poofy pink comforter.
She says, " You're father came back, he wants to see you."
I freeze; I don’t have a clue what to say "I hate him." I blurt.
Now I regret the words that just spit out of my mouth, my father walks in the room. I am just shocked at this and storm out of the room as my eyes fill with water. I slam the door on my way out, hop into my blue Ford Focus and sit staring at the road in front of me. Dull and black the driveway sits and flows into a deep black road that follows the yellow line. This is also the path my father takes that runs to the car behind me, the white car. Once I know this I speed away. Once I know this I speed away. I just don't want to deal with this. Everything is happening so fast I don’t understand why my father came back or my fiancé died. I guess this goes with the saying life falls apart to fall together. But with my life I need to forget the past to move on with the future. I park at the nearest gas station to think but i have nothing. I need to express my feelings to my dad and keep Brian in my thoughts. I now drive home. On this ride I go through my dashboard to find a tissue but I have used all of them.
I get home and sit in the car. I search for possibilities of what had happened these pass days. But I didn't search far they rush to me. I throb and ache, all my joints feel like giving out. My heart beat is felt all over my body, racing, I am as hot as a stove and as red as the sun. I'm stiff. I finally build up enough courage to get out of the car. I pull out my list of suspects and add as I walk into my new apartment:
I don't think my mom would kill him and my dad I really don't know. I stopped writing himself because why would he want to kill himself. The phone rang in my thinking and I didn't bother to answer the phone, I let it go to voice mail. I listen to what it says: "It's officer Granville, we found something in the apartment. When you get a chance call back to let us know if it's evidence of murder."
I grab the phone and dial quickly. Officer Granville picks up, "Hello?"
"Hello!" I say.
"Okay so we found in his clothing a strong gas that is deadly that only can come from cars."
"That's only made in old cars."
"We know but he has an older car that we quite can't think of off the top of our heads."
I hang up. Why? It just didn’t add up.
I knew this wasn't an accident for sure. I have been in Brian's car many times but I am fine! That must mean the gas must have been coming out was coming out slowly, but that takes a high skill to be able to wire it like that. Well now I pull out my little card of suspects and crumble it up and throw it away. I am so confused of what to do. I am done. I get my laptop and turn it on. There's a knock on the door and I go to get it. I look through the peephole and see a familiar face. I make the face out and it's my dad. He followed me, I can't believe it! I lock the door tight. Why did he follow me, I wonder.
My mom is a trader probably; she probably gave my dad my address to make peace. Yeah sure real peace when I don’t want it. She always has to be the person everyone likes. She is the peace of the world (well that’s what she thinks). I hear my dad’s voice, “Please, open up. I want make things right. Charlotte?”
I am in tears now. “You should have never messed anything up in the first place,” I scream with the little voice I have left.
“Charlotte, open up. NOW!”
Is this just in my head? I run to the back of the house and leave through the back. I hear him get into his car. I stumble through the crunchy leaves and leap over logs. The next thing I know I am on the muddy ground and can’t get up. I flounder and scream. My neighbor Mrs. Syed comes out and helps me up but now it’s time to go to the doctor.
Mrs. Syed helps me out of the car, and I limp to the door and we walk in. No body’s there, It is a completely abandoned place. I limp out and there’s my father…with a gun. I run/limp to the car. Mrs. Syed sprints instead and leaves me there with my armed father. My father aims and fires, but misses by a foot. Now I sprint as well as I can. I zigzag across the street trying to be missed. I finally at the end of my doctors driveway and I see my doctor getting into his car. Out if breathe, yell to my doctor. He turns around and looks at me. Yes, I think to myself. Luckily my father has fallen at the top of the hill. Mr. Gonzales is finally here and we sprint to his car when he sees my father armed. My life is flashing before my eyes.
We hop into his car and speed away. "Who is that?" Mr. Gonzales says anxiously.
"Well he had a gun in his hand, right?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. Watch out!" My dad's white car pulled out quickly behind us and hit our bumper. We skidded out, and then we hit the guard rail. My father skidded but perfectly parked. We called the cops then sprinted out of the car to the diner and hide, but he doesn't follow, maybes he's having car troubles, that’s we’re guessing because his car won’t budge. It's our chance. We call the cops again and give more info on what happened. They quickly arrive in fifteen minutes and surround the area. My father tries to hide but then he realizes he’s spotted. Mr. Gonzales and I hide behind cop cars as the cops investigate. They find the gun and take him away.
I’m frozen solid inside and out. I just put my own flesh and blood in jail. Well, he was going to shoot me, not my fault.
A WEEK LATER
I pretty much back on my feet and Brian’s funeral has passed. I am back at work and living pretty nicely. My mother’s fine and my dad is in jail for attempting murder, 25-life. It turns out I don’t have any serious injuries. I have a sprained ankle and a pulled a muscle near my hip. Well I feel better now so that’s good but I am still shaky. I continue my life like it hasn’t changed a bit. It hurts to come to my house so I am now living at my mother’s until the apartment building lets me come in.
As I go to work I walk, I am scared and just start sprinting there now. People look at me like I am crazy. Well I can’t blame them. I rush into my double door office and sit. They send kids in one by one and finally my lunch break is ready.
I walk to the diner across the street and sit and pick at my food as they serve it to me. I eat up quickly and rush back across the street. Again kids come in by the bushel. Each of them has something different wrong, an ear ache, stomach virus, but why does that matter. I rush home on the bus and reach my stop and run to my mother’s house. She is the only one I can trust right now. I open the door, and say, “Mom?” There isn’t an answer, but there is groaning. I start getting worried, again I say, “Mom?” louder. More groans follow. I run through the house. This isn’t a jungle gym like I wanted it to be and she only got a rush burn. I am an adult, I thought. I closed my eyes and wished it was a dream but it wasn’t, I couldn’t fall asleep. Moans kept coming but from me. I start crying. I don’t understand. My mom rushes to me and holds me. My thoughts are taking over my emotions and life. My mom is okay my thoughts are hearing things. I am turning in to a nut. Oh my goodness I am turning into a nut; no this isn’t suppose to happen. Why me, I just wanted a normal life. Nothing is going right. My mom stops holding me and calls the doctor. I just want to start hitting things and go on the rampage. Throwing and hitting, bashing and smashing, my mom flees. After damage is done the police take me to jail ‘For a night.’ I feel stupid for this as I am again in this stony barred room. The police come to talk, “Why did you go on that rampage?” They say.
“I wanted a ‘normal’ life. One where my dad is trying to shoot me and my fiancé isn’t killed.”
“No you don’t, you don’t understand. Did your dad attempt murder to there own daughter? Did your fiancé die?”
“Well no I bet.”
“We have info on case #0483294, come with me.” A man comes in dressed as the sheriff.
The police ask me to come with them. I follow closely behind.
There is my father in a chair cuffed. I try to run but security catches me and pushes me back. I hide behind police officers in hope he doesn’t see me but that’s a hope that’s dead. He spots me and glares. I hide my face and he says, “ I did it. I killed him.”
“You monster,” I blurt. Words just pour out of my mouth. “Why? Why did you do it.” I ask.
“You need to be protected,” he says.
“Yeah but not by you. I am a big girl. Obviously you weren’t here when I was little.”
“We’ll leave you alone for a minute.” The police butted in. They now leave in silence.
“How did you do it?” I ask.
“I had paid a guy at the car center to rewire his car and have monoxide come through the vents slowly-”My dad said as I cut him off,
“Why? We were getting married!”
“He can’t have you, need you more than ever now.”
“Whoa there, you surely didn’t want me then why now.”
“Because I haven’t seen you in forever and I want you in my life again!”
They came in and took him away. I have to say this is the worst part of my life! I am scared to death . To even leave this place, I would have to be escort because I am next. This scares me to know I might be next. I am now just believing that I am targeted. This is not good. The police let me stay for the night, but are aren’t supplying me with much. It makes me confused that they are or could be after me. Well at least I am safe here. The bad news is they are kicking me out tomorrow, but at least I will be more secure then than now.
What am I thinking? My dad is in jail nothing to worry about. I sleep away knowing that I will be okay tomorrow.
I go tomorrow back to my mother’s to get my stuff from her house to move it to my new apartment across the street. We go in my new apartment to set up. When were done for the day we go and eat at Pasta party and I order my favorite dish of lasagna. well I know it sounds like a kiddish place but I loved it as a child. Well now it is again time to go home once again. My mom spends the night at my new apartment to make sure I am comfortable.
The sun peeks through my room and I am of to work for another day. The day goes by normal until I get a call from my mothers house:
“Hello?” I answer.
“Hello,” a voice returns.
“May I ask who this is?”
“All I can tell you is your mother is...dead.”
“You heard me your mother is dead and you're next,”
“You’re a liar!” I shout. I slam the phone down and tears pour out of my eyes.This is a lie, obviously.
I run to my car but realize she lives across the street, duh. I run into her house to discover that was no lie once again within a week call 911. They answer like nothing is wrong and just talks leisurely as can be as I explain in tears. I hang up, run to other side of the street, get my car, then sprint away.
Each time I think I am next I speed up, by now i am at 102 mph. I think about how useless I am. What is the world just going to end like that? Am I just such a bad person that I need to be targeted because nobody wants or likes me. I have a dead mom and fiance and a crazy dad. Not thinking I am now at 112 mph. I am know scared of death I stomp on the brakes and spin out of control. My life is flashing before my eyes, I wasn’t thinking. Am I dead, I think to myself.
Duh, I am not I can think, yes. Well, obviously I am hurt but not dead. I am numb but not dying. I see people rush around my car. I must have passed out. I see flashing lights and loud noises. The air around me settles and let’s me see who's here. Firemen and police free me quickly in my daze. I see flashing lights but then a sudden pain of my foot. “I am okay,”I croak.
“No your not,” A man from the ambulance said.
I am not, I think. I lose consciousness and get shipped to the hospital. Though I feel okay I don’t know what’s going on.
I wake up after an hour of at the hospital I am in bandages and casts. Nurse walk in and tell me i don’t have any major injuries but I should stay of my foot. They also told me that my mom is dead. Well now that my life is basically dead I am not scared any more. My family is wiped out, and I am going to be soon.
I go home a week later after they let me go home.
I hear a knock on my door its my dad. I am dead.
There’s my life flashing before my eyes once again. I am actually, literally...dead. A bullet through the door into my heart it’s over.
© Copyright 2016 Meagan Holder. All rights reserved.