The last words he said before he left. Those words whispered into the nape of my neck stung and shot down my spine. Caused my being to weaken.
"Stay here. I'll be back soon. I won't miss our day. I promise."And he let go of his hold on me, and without looking back again, boarded the plane.
I hated this so much. I sat in my car, cursing myself for wearing a dress on the day he left. I feared to turn the car on because I would hear the cd he gave to me for my birthday.
I looked to the sky, still sitting in the parking space that was too far from the landing strip. And his plane was off, soaring high to the clouds and I cried and screamed and hit the steering wheel, causing the horn to blast and scare people around me.
But I was too hurt to care for that, I needed to sleep off this feeling. This was merely a nightmare.
I wake up, breathing uneven. I look out the window. Another gray day. No sun, just wet, and foggy and slow.
I turn off my alarm clock, yank the plug out of the socket, and throw it to the wall across from my bed.
'Nikki, calm down.' I hear him soothe my senses. But I flinch to his accent, it hurts not to see him.
I put on my sandals and grab my keys and leave.
I forget that I'm done driving when I accidentaly drive on the curb. I reverse slowly after apologizing to the old lady in front of my car.
I stare straight at the neon sign in front of the brick building. Mikey's Diner, how I hate this job.
But I realize that I'm wearing this dress, I must've slept in it.
I decide to go next door to Lulu's Fashion.
I open the front door and find Kell sitting at the front counter.
"Hey Kell. Can you help me out here?" I show him my dress under my leather jacket.
"Sure Nikk. But you're gonna need more than clothes."
He yelled to the back room, "Louie! Get Nikkster her usual: Skinnys and a B-I-L-L style shirt."
It hurt to hear him spell HIS name in front of me. It hurt with every letter.
"Come on." He jumped from behind the counter and pushed me towards the back, "There's a dressing room in the back, along with a shower and a toothbrush and paste. Louie will show you where."
I get in the shower, after Louie shoves a towel, soap, and deoderant into my hands. "Doll, this is a new depressed for you.Here"
Sadly, he knows almost everything about this. He and Kell had been together for forever and I didn't mind that. They knew everything from my shoe size to the cup size of my bra, and they loved to help me out when they could.
I sit on the floor of the shower, hugging my knees to my chest. The hot water stream in my jet black hair and rolled down my back, it carried off the soap into a deep dark hole never to be seen again.
I got out, and got dressed. Louie must have snuck in and set out my underwear. 'Great, I need a Gay to buy my underwear.What a new low.' I thought. But I accepted and got dressed, tied my Chuck Taylors and ran out of the door.
"I owe you guys. Tonight, where ever you want!" I yelled as I pushed the front door with my back while tying my apron.
I walk in the pouring rain to next door. I open the door, noticing my usual Gladys and Abraham sitting at the booth near the door.
I sit down at the counter, watching out for Mikeal wiping it.
He huffs at me. I frown even more.
"Hey, I'm here aren't I?"
"Whatever. You were almost late. Probably talking to those queers next door." I hated Mikeal. He had the face of an angel, but the voice of a redneck. He couldn't stand me and my circle of disoriented friends.
"They are not queers. Do you want me to show you the fork again?" I sneered.
"NO, I don't care what you call them. They are not welcome where I'm from. They take it from your homo boyfriend."
"Mikeal! Shut Up, okay? I'm not your girlfriend, so why would you care who I love and hang out with."
"You know me, alright? You know that I hate Billards and the Q's next door. I don't think they're the people to associate with. And you know that I do like you." He confessed. He calls Bill, Billards. Like Pool. And that made me hate him more.
"Maybe I should just get to work." I jumped onto the counter, feeling the butt of my jeans get wet and hop behind the counter.
It's always slow here. Gladys and Abraham came every day, they were the only two I liked to see. They had been married 49 years, and they had first met here.
I assumed my usual place, stirring cold coffee while hearing Dee talk about a new club and that I should go with her. I stared at the coffee, swirling around the spoon then settling. I saw my reflection defract and then I saw..Bill?
I turned around only to see toast pop from the toaster. I, apparently, freaked out Dee and Mikeal. I got from behind the counter, saying bye to Dee and congratulating Gladys and Abe on the 50th, Untied my apron as I walked to the door, threw it to the floor, and stormed out. Hearing the bell *ding*.
The wind blew snow in my face.
I hate December.
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