Keith could not focus for the life of him. He told himself it was the beer and working too much, but in truth it wasn’t. His mind was on a man: a man of all things. Keith was not gay. That’s what he told himself. There would no doubt be repercussions in the department. He looked to Angela who sat next to Helen, two seats down from him. The hair on the back of his neck raised and he turned to look out the front window. There stood the man he had helped carry out the bigger man. Keith’s heart leaped from his chest. What is happening to me? The man noticed their eye contact and quickly moved down the street. Keith hurriedly grabbed his coat and ran out the door to the street.
Crap! Crap! Crap! You should never have been standing there. John was hurrying down the street to where his car was. When he was twelve feet from it he heard “Hey!” Shit! John stopped and turned to see Keith hurry towards him throwing his jacket over his shoulders.
When Keith reached the man he was slightly out of breath. Not because of running but because of a reason he didn’t understand: not yet at least. “Hey weren’t you the guy whose friend was drunk and I helped you cart him outside?”
“Yes, I live just a few blocks down there.” John pointed in the direction he had been walking.
“Oh I understand. I have a very awkward question, but. What do you feel when you see me?”
The question caught John completely off guard. “Wait, what?”
“Um. I asked…”
“No I know what you asked, but why would you ask me that?”
“Well, I was just wondering.”
“Well to satisfy your curiosity nothing.” That was a complete lie but John was not going to admit that he had feelings for the Lieutenant of the Homicide Division of the NYPD.
Keith felt his heart fall. He had hoped for something. Wait a minute. Keith James Richard quit thinking like this! “That’s what I hoped you would say.”
John hadn’t expected that response and surprisingly was hurt by it. He showed more hurt than he wanted to as he turned to walk in the direction he had pointed. Well good this hurt can fuel my anger tomorrow.
Keith had no idea that the next thing he would do was to shoot an arm out to John. The second his ungloved had touched John’s shoulder and uncovered neck the fire in him started.
John felt the touch and the fire in his own blood. He turned to Keith and looked into his hazel green eyes.
Keith’s brain finally recognized what was happening and he quickly retrieved his hand. “I’m sorry.”
John looked confused, “What are you sorry for?”
“Um. I don’t know. I’m not gay.”
“Really? How do you explain the fire? Or didn’t you feel it?”
What? How had he known? He must have felt it too. “Yes I did and I don’t know. But i’m not gay.”
“You keep telling yourself that.” With that John turned and left Keith standing on the street.
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