Guilty Rose Chapter 18
I was frozen in shock, the words of love and the warmth from Kyle petrified me. Why would he say that? An abyss in my heart widened painfully. I started to shake.
What should I say? What could I say to make him feel fine? I can’t say that I love him because I don’t. I opened my mouth to say something but Kyle squeezed tighter.
“Please. Don’t say anything. Let me stay here for a bit,” Kyle said, voice quivering. I had only just realized that he was on the verge of tears and that made my heart rip. Kyle never cried. NEVER. Oh, damn. What should I do?
“Kyle... I’m...” I said slowly, letting my words fade into the city sounds. I can’t go on but I have to. “Kyle, I’m sorry. I just don’t feel that way for you. Can we just be friends?”
“Oh, yeah. I kind of knew that was coming. Fine, we can be friends. But, Arisa, I won’t give up. I fell in love with you and that will not go away after one night,” Kyle said determinedly. I didn’t want to friend-zone him but it’s the truth. He smiled sadly and said; “I wanted time to stop. Time is so beautiful.” It was so low, I could barely hear him.
“Kyle, I’m so sorry,” I apologised, tears welling up at the sight of Kyle so close to tears himself. I turned and walked back in the direction of my condo, fully knowing that he won’t follow me. I looked back and saw that he had turned his head up to the sky.
The crowd of people bustling around had thinned to dots of individuals around the block. I could clearly see Kyle’s features illuminated by the lamp. He was smiling and his eyes were closed. Tears dripped down his cheeks, making little stains on the ground. I couldn’t hold it anymore.
I ran fast and hard away from Kyle. Away from the sadness of watching someone dear to me cry. Tears started to dribble down my cheeks, too. Hiccups and sobs burst from my chest.
I stopped beside a closed boutique and leaned against the wall. My chest was heaving from the pressure of crying silently. Lucky for me, no one walked past my shuddering self. My make-up had to be ruined. What the hell? I just broke a guy’s heart and all I could think about was my make-up? I’m the worst.
I opened my eyes and I saw a church’s sign that indicated that it was 20 below zero. Huh? I looked down and realized that my hot tears had distorted into snowflakes.
How fitting. An ice-cold woman that breaks hearts mercilessly, crying snowflakes... Oh, dear God, where did you go? I wondered.
Shall I take away your sadness, little duckling? A faraway voice in my mind asked me. I decided to ignore it. Instead of mourning over my idiotic self, I decided to look forward in life. I straightened my back and walked quickly back home. No more brooding for me, huh?
Don’t forget I’m here, little duckling. I’ll always be watching over you. The voice said again. Now, I was getting pissed.
“Get out of my head and go to hell,” I mumbled to myself, hating the fact that I have to talk to myself.
Well, little duckling, I’m already in hell. The voice said, ending our conversation.
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