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Ch.10 She Moves In Her Own Way

"Lucas, keep your eyes on the road please" I told him as he kissed the side of my cheek.

"There's a red light" he murmered against my skin. We were headed over to his house, a place where I hadn't been in a while. "You smell so good" A giggle escaped my mouth, something that surprised me because it sounded awfully girly. It seemed like this night was filled with some of my girliest moments and that made me a bit uneasy. The light then turned green and Lucas drove on down the street; down that familiar road where we would always go. The streets were empty but it still felt familiar to be in Lucas's car driving to his house. Though this time I had a feeling that we weren't going to watch Star Wars. I shifted in my seat so I was able to face him easier and he would ocassionally glance my way and smile. As he had one of his hands on the wheel he offered me his other one to hols which I gladly took. He squeezed my hand tightly and reasuringly and I squeezed back, it only seemed right. As he kept his eyes on the road as I insisted, he took my hand to his mouth and lightly with his lips, kissed it. It was so soft I barely felt it but the lingering of his breath was still there, I felt it, and that made me smile.

We soon pulled up to his house, a two story home that was remodeled a couple of years ago, with a nice large victorian door, large windows and a balcony for the master bedroom. We both got out of his old car and met up at the front of it, we intertwined our hands together and walked up to the steps. His free hand went to his pocket and pulled out his car keys that held his house key as well. Before he inserted the key in he pulled me in for an embrace and pressed his lips up against mine. Our tounges moved crazily like we both had something that other wanted badly. I broke first and laughed.

"Go on" I told him. He finally opened the door to his house and I was bombarded with the way the things were, they were exactly the same as the last I came. As soon as he closed the door in back of us he unexpectandly swooped me up in his arms and made me gasp in surprise. "What are you doing?" I asked him curiously. He began walking up the stairs to his room while he had me in his arms just like a groom carries his wife in their wedding night.

"Carrying you"

"I can see that, " I giggled but still found it perplexing. "But...why?"

"Because I want this to be special" It then hit me that this would be my first time. I tensed up a bit and a moment of anxiety swelled up in my heart. I felt so self councious. The boy is experienced but the girl is not. A thousand thoughts filled my mind, some of uncertainty, some of curiousity, some of embarrasment, some that went like 'oh shit'.

We entered his room and he closed door by kicking it with his feet. When he placed me on my feet he cupped my face as if he was searching for the truth in my eyes,

"Is there something wrong?" He asked for the second time that night.

"Nervous I guess" He moved his face closer to mine and whispered. "It's going to be alright" His voice was so light that it made me momentarily close my eyes and hope. He bent his head down and met my lips eagerly. It was like a dream that I didn't want to wake up from, to feel him so close, to feel his lips moving with mine; it was just all so calming. My hands automatically wrapped around his neck to bring him closer; I wanted to touch him so badly, to let myself go with him, to let him touch me, at least for today. "Make me feel better, Lucas"

"Oh Jess, I want to but only if you let me" We stared into each others eyes and I hoped he could see the answer in my eyes. I wanted him to see my waryness and I wanted him to make everything bad dissapear.

"Make the hurt go away, whatever way that may be" I told him and kissed him as hard as I could. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to his bed and laid me there. I undid all the buttons to his dress shirt as fast as my fingers could go but the trembling in them made me clumsy. This is one of those situations in which you want something so much, but you are scared and nervous to have it. I wanted him, but I was so scared of giving myself fully to him, to let him see me at my most vulnerable time that the little voice in my head was telling me to go home. It wasn't my better judgement that told me to go home, my better judgement told me me that this is what I wanted the most. I wanted to be with Lucas in the most of intimate of scenerios and being scared was natural.

"I want you to feel better Jessica, I do. I want to help you" He unzipped the side of my dress but didn't take it off. "Jessica, you are so beautiful and you don't even know it. It kills me to see you in pain. It kills me to know what you do to yourself." He tried taking my dress off but struggled untill I sat up and helped him with it. His eyes traveled down to my body in a way that made me know that he really wanted me. I reached out to him and kissed him again. I didn't want the taste of his lips away from me any longer so as I fumbled for his belt I kissed him with all the enerygy that I had. His lips had a hint of mint, something that I hadn't detected earlier, they were soft and wet, and the feel of them on mine was sensational. He helped himself out of his pants withour ever breaking our embrace. I had the satisfaction of having him kiss me and knowing that he was almost naked before me. Suddenly I laughed against his lips and covered my mouth with my hands.

"What's so funny?" He asked with a smirk.

"I'm sorry, it's just I imagined you with your astronaut underwear" I looked down to his boxers until he got the clue.

"Damn you Jessica! You're never going to let me live that down! It was once..." He laughed and made it me burst out with laughter.

"I'm sorry...I can't-" Suddenly Lucas tried to pin me down but my reflexes were in tact and I moved out of the way. Ijumped out of his bed and in my underwear, tried to get away from him. He stood up as well, ready to charge at me.

"fifth grade...!"

"They were cute okay..." I giggled at the way he was positioned, any movement could mean he would come from me.

"Oh, please" He chuckled. Since I knew his room so well I didn't glance at the door so it wouwldn't give me away. I could pictured theh dark walls, The Hives poster in back of me, the Beatles posters on my my left, the vynls and record player on top of his drawers, I knew their place by memory and that was my advantage for the day. I counted to three and made a run to the door, as i struggled to open it I felt his hands around my waist and he picked me up.

"No! Nooo!"

"oh yes yes yes!" He carried me all the way back to his bed and positioned me under him. "I got you"

"You won this battle, but you did not win the war" I told him. I will plan my revenge eventually.

"I don't think so" he said seductively. His voice carried something in them that I had never heard before and that intrigued me. He laid his hands on my stomach and his cold touch sent shivers up my spine. I wanted to give him the same feeling so I traced lines up and down his abs. I felt his hands in my back searching for the clasp and the way his fingers fumbled to open them. When I felt their release I shrugged them off carefully and stared at Lucas's face the whole time. Once it was gone i held in a breath and noticed that Lucas never stopped looking at my eyes. A part of me was looking for his approval - and I hated that part - and the other part didn't care. But Lucas's eyes never left mine, and for that I was grateful. He leaned in to me and we began kissing, this time more passionately more hungerly, I could feel his need in the way he took my lips. I felt him grow hard and in the midst of it all, everything came off. Before anything, we stopped kissing and looked to each other.

"Lucas, I - I've never done this" I felt kind of silly but never was ashamed of being a virgin especially since he knew he was going to be my first.

"Okay. I'll be gentle" He flashed me a reasurring smile that made me instanlty smile back at his sillyness. As soon as our lips met I felt him move inside me. The pain was momentarily but made me cringe. I closed my eyes and felt his body move in and out in perfect and paced rhythm. His lips touched my neck and sucked my skin. My hands gripped his shoulders as the pain developed into pleasure. My legs wrapped around him tightly and brough him closer, my grip loosened and Lucas sped up. So this is what sex feels like I thought. A million things went through my head and I couldn't focus. My concentration was scattered but yet I was still able to think. When I finally opened my eyes I saw that Lucas was staring at me carefully, like he was waiting for me to say something. I took my hands to his straight back hair andn tugged it when ever I felt a shot of pleasure.

He thrusted harder and more rapidly I could feel my heart racing and internally asking for more, I saw his body move in and out and was so intrigued at the way his muscles retracted with each thrust. He kissed me between my breasts and traveled down to my stomach and kissed it. Our bodies kept moving at the smae pace, each matching the other. Noises were made the whole night, and places explored ever so intimately so lovingly it hurt to think about it. Our sweat covered each other and my body ached in the end. And boy did he last long!

Above all, for the first time I felt needed and loved and that was such a scary thought. As Lucas slept by my side I couldn't help but to think of Alyssa, I thought about Noah and his reaction when he discovered I was no longer at the dance. Inside I felt that if he'd ever find out he would be dissapointed and I would hate to see that expression on his face. I felt guilty. And it wasn't a good feeling. I didn't think I'd be able to face him on Monday at school I had no idea what I would tell him and how, but I knew it wouldn't be the truth. I didn't want to let him down and I would need to explain myself. So at four oh three, I got up carefully from Lucas's side and dressed as quickly as possible. Before I left his room I looked back at him one last time and blew him a kiss. This was the best night of my life, but it wasn't right.

And so I ran. I ran as fast as I could to get away.

Submitted: November 14, 2010

© Copyright 2021 monicastar14. All rights reserved.


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Add Your Comments:



You have captured the ambivalence and confusion of a girl's first time very well. Good writing.

Sun, November 14th, 2010 5:19am


:D thank you! I was trying to make it as nerveracking as any first time and I hope I was able to translate that into my writing.

Thanks a bunches for reading!

Sun, November 14th, 2010 1:13am


awww,,,, she needs more hugs :). Very realistic for her fist too. Glad that he was able to make her feel so special for it,,, something she needs to feel everyday. i feel sorry for Noah though, hate to think he hates her now for ditching him after dancing the night away with her

Sun, November 14th, 2010 7:03am


Defintely more hugs! A girl can never have too many hugs. I was really trying to make a realistic so i'm glad you think so! Everyone needs to be made special their first time but only some are and since she's so fragile I wanted to make it nice for her:) I know! Poor Noah! I don't know what to write next but I'll promise to make it very interesting for you:D

Thanks you for reading!

Sun, November 14th, 2010 1:18am


Aww I want to hug her! I was depressed too so I can relate to the story. I hope Noah doesn't hate her for ditching him. Kmu

Sun, November 14th, 2010 8:10am


:D aww you do? That's really nice and I agree she needs a hug:] ahh you were? It's a very sensitive subject for alot of people and it's one of the toughest things to go through and I wish you well. I hope was able to realistically write about that subject.

Thanks for reading!

Sun, November 14th, 2010 1:22am


Awe, awesome story! :) I agree with livexlaughxlovex :)

Sun, November 14th, 2010 1:27pm


:]]] aww you are too kind for words! I truly appreciate it.

Thanks for reading!

Sun, November 14th, 2010 6:22am


That was really sweet but sad! Awesome job, update soon!

Mon, November 15th, 2010 4:04pm


aww thank you! It was pretty sad I wanted to show how helpless she felt afterwards. :D

Thanks for reading!

Mon, November 15th, 2010 9:01am

Lady Leah

Shame man, she just wants everything to be right. I kinda didn't want her to sleep with him, because it's not that she regretted it *I think* but it still wasn't right, and that's like the worst way for a girl to lose her virginity!

Like everyone else commenting, I want to give her a hug! awe! lol, miss you tons, and I'm coming back to Booksie soon.

So far this story is stunning, you know I love your writing, just keep on writing, and don't wait so long to update lol! Because I forget the story all over again!
~Lady Leah~

Tue, November 16th, 2010 7:50am


Yeah, she just doesn't know what to do and she thought that this would all make it better. And I agree she might not regret it but maybe it wasn't the right time for it. I love how you noticed that! Hehe. Hugs! She does deserve one I just really want to tell her that eveything will be okay.

I've missed you too! Your stories are so so good it would be a shame if you stopped writing. Thank you! You are awesome and yes I'll try to update asap! I promise.

Thanks for reading:]

Tue, November 16th, 2010 8:35am

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