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Ch.18Spontaneous Goodbyes

After a couple of days I was finally allowed to leave. My mom picked me up since I was seventeen and we both went back to what I thought would be normalcy. But not quite, because when I arrived home, my dad was there. It still felt weird to know I had a father, but it is what it is, and I'm happy about it. He sat waiting in his old car and as soon as he saw us approach he got out. He looked at me solemnly, with a sad crooked smile. It was nice. No one had ever smiled at me like that. He completely ignored my mom, and said, "Jessica, can I talk to you?"

"No, she just came out of the hospital she doesn't have time to talk to you." My mom answered to me.

"Jessica, will you?" He still asked.

"Sure." I said.

"Jessica, get inside." My mother told me and held to my elbow.

"Mom! Shut up." I said tiredly and she let go. My dad and I stepped over to the side of the house and watched my mom go inside as she cussed endlessly.

"I wanted to go see you." He said quietly. I didn't respond because I was unsure what to say. I shoved my hands into my jeans pockets and observed the grass. "I just couldn't."

"It's okay." I said.

"Your mother, I know she's not the best influence on you." I laughed suddenly and nodded.

"Definitely not. She drinks all day, but you probably know that since you left her."

"That was one of her vices, for sure." I looked up to him and noticed a sly smile on his face. I didn't know this man, only knew he was my dad, but still I felt I trusted him. I just felt my insides warm and comfortable like starting a fire in a chilly day. "Listen, Jessica, I want you to come live with me in Middleton." He said quickly and nervously, he too shoved his hands in his pockets.


"Yes. I have an apartment with two bedrooms and I would love for you to live with me."

"I don't know what to say."

"i know, you may have your reservations about me, but I want to get to know my little girl. For you to recover you need to get away from her. And plus, there's a nice rehabilitation center in the city, I used to go and I'm clean, I'm sure it'll help you."

That was something I didn't hear a lot. Someone offered me help, only Noah had ever done that. It was an amazing feeling to know someone wanted to see you get better, it just put a smile on my face. I thought about it seriously. Get away from my mom? Yes I wanted that. Get away from people from school? Of course I wanted that. Get away from Lucas? Yes. Get away from Noah? Well, that was a hard one.


"Yes?" He asked with a shocked expression.

"Yes, I want to live with you."

"Well let's get you packing!" He said cheerfully. We rushed inside the house and instantly I was embarrassed to see the house a total mess. Clothing on the floor, bottles of beer on the sofa and floor, a weird sour stench from the house, just made me feel like a little girl again. Embarrassed and scared.

"What are you doing here?" My mom asked as she came out of the kitchen with a beer can in her hand. She slurped it and stood against the wall.

"I'm taking Jessica with me." He said simply and turned to me, "Go pack Jess." I nodded and turned to the stairs.

"What? No, no no. You can't take her, just like that. She lives with me!" She yelled as she took drinks from the can.

"You are not capable of raising a child, you never were!"

"No I need her here. Don't touch anything Jessica." She told me as I approached the stairs. "Don't listen to this stupid man."

"But I want to go with him."

"Nu uh. You ain't going."

"Yes I am! I'm tired of taking care of you mom, it's my turn now."

"What are you talking about?" She said. I went to her and stood inches away from her.

"I'm talking about this." I said and grabbed the can from her and placed it on a coffee table. "Of you being drunk all the time. Of you being irresponsible. I want to be able to get healthy without you putting me down all the time."

"Jessica! I've taken care of you all those years." She said while looking at me wide eyed.

"No you haven't mom. I love you, I always will, but right now, you have to do one thing for me. Let me go." Her eyes began getting watery, and her lips formed a frown.

"Jessica, I, I-" She gave me her back and I heard her sob. "I just wanted to be a good mom." I looked to my dad and noticed how serious he became. "That's all I wanted. Shit! I was just so angry with him."

"It's okay." She finally faced me again with her mascara smeared all over her eyes while she wiped furiously at them.

"Go pack." She said. I turned to my dad and he mouthed go, and so I did.

I ran upstairs got my suitcase out from my closet and quickly rummaged through my drawers to get everything inside. My clothes, personal belongings, everything I could think of that I would need. When it came to a box filled of pictures of Lucas and I, I left it there. One day I would come back and be able to look at them. But right now, was not it. I looked at the window and saw Noah talking to my dad, he was probably telling him the news. Oh Noah. I was leaving so soon, with no time to tell him.

I rolled by suitcase down the hall and down the stairs. My mom stood at the same spot she was before, still wiping tears away.

"Mom?" I asked. She looked up and smiled. I rushed to her and gave her a big hug. I squeezed her waist so tightly I knew she was in pain. "Thank you." I told her.

"Go on." She told me.

I grabbed her arms and said, "Please get better, please. For me." She nodded and went back to my suitcase, and out the door I went.

When I was outside my dad said bye to Noah and went to go sit in his car, while I talked to Noah. I stopped my suitcase and we both stood quietly in front of each other.

"Your dad told me you were leaving."

"Yeah I am. I know it's so random but-"

"I get it." He said. His hair was deep brown now, completely back to normal, and his green eyes bore into my eyes, like he was trying to communicate with them. "I hope you do get better, Jess."

"I know. I've cut to deal with pain for a long time now, it's going to be like I'm starting all over again." He chuckled at that and touched my cheek softly.

"Remember I told you that I could relate?"


"My little brother drowned last year and I always thought it was my fault so I also tried to kill myself because of it." He told me while he stroked my cheek up and down.

"Noah." I said breathlessly. It was all I could say.

"It's okay. I don't think that way anymore. Sorry to throw this bomb at you like that."

"Oh no, I appreciate that you told me." I grabbed his hands and laced my fingers with his. Noah, had been through a lot but I was so preoccupied with myself I failed to see that. I hated myself for that, but there was nothing I could do now. So we just watched each other, I was looking at his skin, his hair, his eyes, and he was doing the same. Our fingers warm against each others skin, was a tingling sensation. I wanted to stay in this moment for ever.

His face moved closer to mine and I moved to meet him. I tiled my face and our lips gingerly fell upon each other. A soft touch, of skin, a sweet kiss. Our fingers played with each other as our lips moved together.

"I love you." I whispered against his lips as our foreheads met.

"I love you." He responded. We stayed like that for a few moments, but soon I broke it off. I gathered my suitcase and hugged him one last time. I walked to my dad's car, where he pretended not to see anything and placed my bags in the back seat. I went over to the passenger seat and buckled myself tight. My dad started the engine and we began to leave the driveway. He waved a soft wave, and I raised my hand and mimicked his. When we drove off I saw him still standing there, watching. Goodbye Noah.

I was going to miss him, surely, and one day we'll see each other again.

But right now, I had to learn to breathe all over again.

The End.

*A/N I just want to thank all of you guys for reading, it makes me so happy to know you guys still support me. I know it's been a long while, I am so sorry about that! This is my first novel to ever finish, so it's exciting! Yay. Learning to breathe is an actual song if you guys are wondering, but it did not inspire the story. The story was inspired by a summary my friend told me about the book Veronika Decides to Die, but don't worry this has nothing to do with it. Oh and yes it was a bit rushed so there may be errors.Thank you so much again. :)*

Submitted: January 10, 2012

© Copyright 2021 monicastar14. All rights reserved.


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Awww. I love the ending! I just wish it was so final with Noah. Maybe they could date somehow, but it's still lovely. I'm glad she got a new start!

Tue, January 10th, 2012 10:52am


Aww I'm so happy you did! :) Yeah maybe someday, you know? yeah she has her whole life to deal with now. Thanks so so so much for reading! I really appreciate fit :)

Tue, January 10th, 2012 8:23am


Wow, I loved it(: Great story!

Mon, February 20th, 2012 1:04am


Awwwww thanks so much!! Glad you thought so:) Thanks for reading!

Wed, February 22nd, 2012 12:37am

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