Chapter 1: Therapist Thoughts
"Wake up" My head quickly turns from side to side. "Hello? Hello..." Shaky palms, shaky voice. My fearful eyes surrounded by pitch black except for the one street light, which was almost completely broken. "Bang" a shot rang out. "Hello?! Please help me! I don't know where I am". Tears came rushing down my face as I began to panic. "Don't Kill Me!" a heavy hearted scream from a distance broke the dead silence. Too many thoughts were blasting through my head. "Why am I here? Why won't anybody help me?!" "Over here." A man's voice called out from a distance. "Hello? Where are you?” I asked, breathing heavily, my voice still shaken and terrified. "Just walk to your right". I took five steps and tried to see him. "You have to walk further!” My whole body stricken with fear as I took five more steps. "Keep walking." His voice grew deeper. "Come Closer Kaylee!" I froze like an ice sculpture in a freezer. "How does he know my name? What am I going to do? What's going to happen to me?! Why am I here?!" I couldn't control my thoughts when... "Bang".
"AHHH!" I jumped up in bed and let out a piercing cry. "Shut up and let me sleep!" my sister yelled from her room. My mom was snoring from across the hall like my scream was nonexistent. “Just go back to sleep.” she yelled one more time in annoyance. But I just couldn't go back to sleep, I was scared of sleep, ever since my dreams started haunting me, it’s like I don’t know it’s a dream until it’s too late. My sister thinks I'm "acting childish" because I apparently "can't handle a scary dream", only if she knew how it felt, then she'd understand. I guess it all started about a month ago when we watched an educational movie on rapists, stalkers, and murders. My school thinks it's important to educate us on what could happen to us. I think it's stupid because their just scaring us, at least they scared me. I'm not a little kid whose still afraid of the dark and spiders, but can you blame me for being afraid of things like getting shot or raped?
For at least a week after I started feeling so insecure, I begged my mom to get me a therapist because I knew I needed help. "It's too much money and besides Kaylee, you don't even need one, your perfectly healthy so just stop trying to waste money on stupid stuff you don't even need." She kept saying, so I eventually just stopped asking. My sister (being the older one) would tease me in front of her friends, telling them how babyish I was because 'I apparently need a shrink for being afraid of the dark', although I don't know where she got that from because even she knows that's not true. My sisters friends were over one Saturday and they were going to watch 'Nightmare on Elm Street' (The 1984 version). "To scary for you, sis?" My sister teased as her friends giggled. "No it's fine" I sighed, wouldn't be my first choice but it didn't seem to scary. Towards the end of the movie my sister and her friends all eventually passed out, I on the other hand had my eyes wide opened, too scared of what would happen if I fell asleep. About five minutes before the movie ended my eyes began to feel tired and weary and they eventually started closing. I hesitated a little, but I eventually gave in and fell asleep.
Waking up everything was a little hazy. I didn't remember having a dream at all. I slowly sat up and looked around, no one was in the living room. I looked at the clock above the TV which read 8:36. I eventually got up and went to the kitchen to get some water. "Kaylee!!" a voice from upstairs shouted. Wondering what had happened I quickly ran upstairs and across the hall to my sisters room. She was sitting on the floor with a piece of glass in her foot. "What happened!?" I said with panic. "I don't know, I just came upstairs and the mirror was all broken!". "Ding, Ding", The door bell rang. I rushed down stairs to get it. "Open this door right now!". 'oh crap' I thought as I opened the door, it was my father. I could smell the alcohol on his breath from the moment I opened the door. "Where the hell is your mother!" He demanded. "I don't know, I swear!" 'Smack' was the loud sound ringing in my ears as he repeatedly struck me. "Please Stop!" I screamed but nothing helped. "Tell me where she is you worthless piece of shit!" His voice with rage.
"Kaylee wake up!" Avery yelled. "Stop daddy please" I screamed, tears rushing down my face as she pulled me up and hugged me tight. "Shh, it's okay, dad's in prison, he can't hurt any of us, ever." she whispered as she rocked me back and forth. She finally understood how real my dreams felt. Everyone was staring at us wide eyed and sympathetically. My mom was heartbroken with teary eyes and a glass of wine. After that she got me a therapist and made me start writing in a journal every day. I haven't started yet, but were going to the store today to buy one. I hope it helps, I've never had a journal before, but we'll see.
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