Once coffees were finished and gossip updated we still had half an hour before track was due to finish, which sucked. I sat there sillently arguing with myself as to what I should do about my
current situation and obvious downer attitude. I wanted to be able to be as calm and nice as I had been before the curtains, before the tears, before my heart had been shreaded like blood stained
paper. Too much too ask? Not really. So why couldn't I just be nice? I kept telling myself to just get over it. He cheated, fair enough. But I should be big enough to walk away and leave him.
I still love him. I thought to myself, cursing sillently. No. No. No.Not good.Not .Good. But can you stop loving somebody? Can you just decide 'naaaaa I'd much rather not
thanks'...? Because if you could, I would much rather that then this. This hollow feeling. This feeling that made me need something, need him, I reallised with horror.
Mad, absolutely freaking mad! How the hell could I love something that hurt me so bad? That betrayed me and acted like it was nothing? That made me feel unwanted, unloved?
'Yo toots' I looked up to find Ria grinning at me and her successful male accent 'fancy catching one for the road?' She said wiggling her eyebrows and cracking a smile.
'What?' I said a tad confused, looking around I realised we were still in the coffee shop, still sat in those soft leather recliners.
'Coffee? Fancy getting a coffee to go?' She replyed, a bemused look on her face that didn't quite reach her worried eyes.
'Uh yeah sure.' I mumbled plastering on a fake smile that was obviously a little too fake because Ria didn't seem to be believing it.
'you know,' she said her voice suddenly becoming her own, her facial expression becoming a tad serious,'if your still mulling over what happened with...him, you can tell me. Sweet... I
wanna know whats going on in that head of yours because at the moment it seems eady to burst, you seem ready to burst and well...'she stopped, pausingfor a shortbreath before continuing,'
I'm your bestfriend sweet, and im not called that just for the title. It's a job and right now you look like you need some talk time and that just so happens to be my speciality, so talk to
me. Please?' She said, suddenly lightening the small speach with puppy eyes and pouting at the end. Only problem with this as the fact that everytime she pulled that face she looked like a
pug who are actually so ugly their cute...not like thats a good thing.
'It's just...' I said unsure of what to say, deciding that what ever I said should be calm and collected, always calm and collected.'I don't get it, I mean how can he...? Like...I dunno its
just im so confused and...'
'Shocked? Hurt? Maybe a little bit pissed that he could bringherto track?'
'Well yeah but Ria...'I paused, taking a deep breath before I said what I was so unsure about,' What ifI still love him?' I asked, look up to see her jaw hanging loosely, shock plastering her
'Please tell me I just imagined you saying that...'
'Ria I just...I don't know what to do!' I said, suddenly noticing I'd spoke to loud by the vast amount of people around us looking our way. Crouching forward I whispered
'Tell me what to do. I mean I shouldn't, I know that.But I think I do and...I just...I just don't know. Help?' I said giving her a hopefull look and sitting back in my chair, practically
rejoycing in how comfy, how soft it was.
Ria sat there a few moments bitting her lower lip while looking down at the floor, and obvious sign that she was thinking. I sat there watching her watch the floor, her eyes tracing the ridges in
the dark wood flooring till her head suddenly popped up and a smile crept its way along her glossed lips.
'You need a diversion' She chirpped
'A diversion?' I asked, a tad confused as to what she meant by a diversion.
'Oh good! you heard!' She said, sarcasm rimming her still chirping tone.'By diversion, I mean a guy. Another guy...like someone to divert your thoughts away from dicky?'
'Dicky?' And she says my head is in odd shape, shes calling people dicky?
'You know who I mean by dicky...the prick. The cheat...' She said, sounding as if she thought it was toootally obvious...even though it sort of was.
'Okaaaaaaay then...whos the diversion gonna be?' I asked, intregued.
'I dunno...you tell me. Who would you tap?' She asked, winking.
I just looked at her as if she was mad. Which she was.
'Fineeeee, look hotstuff its almost half five which means we really need to go...so coffee or no coffee?' She said raising her eyebrow high. Damn her and her flexable eyebrows.
'Coffee' I smiled, I don't joke when I say I love me some coffee.
Grabbing the coffees and heading for the glass double doors I was suddenly struck on my side by something tall and solid, making my arm sting like a bitch!
'Shit!' I shouted, totally forgetting where I was as the pain pulsated through my arm. Damn that was gonna leave a burn. I wonder if i can sue? I suddenly thought.
'Hey watch it!' the tall, solid thing said just as my coffee hit the floor.
'Me? Are you kidding? You just walled into me and made me drop my coffee!?' I turned, outraged that I was in the blame. I didn't walk into anybody! looking up to glare at the idiot that walked
into me but th first thing i noticed were those eyes. Those gorgeous grey-blue eyes, framed by long, shabby, brown hair that looked so soft, so so soft. Would he mind ifI touched his
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