The escape from the present reality was the dominant thought. Even while a person slept there was the escape back into childhood at times. Most of the would take up a very dominant fetal position while sleeping. This was their subconscious desire to escape back to the mothers womb of security. For some of the guys, this thought was the tormented obsessions of the mind. All as the person could talk about, was that need to get home. The trip, back to the real world. Viet Nam was some part of the unknown world. People only knew about Viet Nam, through the paper and the television medium. They could never feel the real Viet Nam, that was hidden behind the wall of illusion that was presented on the television screen.
You could understand the moral problem, that faced the American soldier. He had been for the most part pampered and weened in a world, that was economically sound and held the prospects of a bright future. There was safety in the United States, that was not present in Viet Nam. The social life was was gone, that the American soldier was use to. There were no Friday night dates with girls. The television was gone, the baseball games were gone, the car was gone. That part of the American way of life that made Americans, "Americans", was taken away from the American soldier. If you were in the army back in the states, at least you could savour the comforts of the American way of life. Twelve thousand miles away in the remote jungles of Viet Nam,, the life that was once so fine, was gone for the present reality. You began to realize how high on the hog, the American people were living, when you came to Viet Nam.
It was no wonder why the not giving a shit attitude was so prevalent. The American soldier, some college educated was thrown into a war, that he neither agreed with or cared to be part. Here the college graduate, after working for four long years at school, was thrown into the war by the draft. The prospects for a job, were some ofones thoughts, next to the draft. But, it seemed the draft won out for a good many graduates. Why was there descension, one only had to think of the college graduate, with a bring future, getting wounded or killed in the line of duty. If there seemed a reasonable cause in the war, there could be some rationalization. Yet, everyone in Viet Nam began to realize, that we were wasting our time and lives for the Vietnamese. Attitudes of why should I risk my life for these people. They don't care about me and could not care the least for us. When the majority of the company thought this way, it was hard to find people to sympathise with thewar. These were some of thereasons why the American soldier thought this way in my opinion.
The known dissension and hatred of the war, was well known in the company area. The new F.N.G.s that came into the company, told and filled us in on the feelings of the people back in the world. They told of the draft card burnings andmassive protests, that the people were into. It seemed the college campuses became the breeding grounds for the protests. They told of groups and organizations, that were started to bring about an end to the war. Some of the guys in the company became elated at the thought of the war possibly ending in a short period of time. It seemed like thoughts of desperation, yet, it was some sort of hope to cling to. In the face of an unknown death, people will tend to breed such thoughts. Yet, the reality of the situation was real and presented this prospect. When one really thought about it, it was the desperation of a dying cause in Viet Nam.
The syndrome was that of rats on a sinking ship. There was nowhere to go and the company area the ship. The desperation of the situation seemed to be hopeless. The guys inside the area seemed to be frustrated in the highest degree that seemed humanly possible. The breeding of the dissension, grew with the time that eachperson stayed in Viet Nam. Letters from home, a picture of the family or girlfriend, made the input of the stimulation only the more stringent. Yes, it was that we all had arrived, within the living hell of the earth. The heat an passion of the war was the tormenting fires of that hell.
Inner passions told of the screams of pain. You could never leave until your time off penance had arrived. The agony of the wait, made the pain all that more intense. We all seemed to cling to each other, to find that means of mental escape, that was needed so much. Try to explain this to another person, that was not in country and they would only say that the war was an injustice to the world. When one was involved directly there was a newer motto. Why had the people forsaken us to such a fate. Wasn't there a living human upon the earth. Why could such inhumanity be allowed to run free upon the earth.
Look at the wounded of the war. The shattered lives of the young men sent to fight in the war. How does one explain, the cause of their wound ? The lost limbs and the torn bodies. Blinded men walking in the darkness of the earth. Give them the truth, of the excuse, that it was the will of the people. Try to tell them, that tomorrow will be all different. They live in the real world, of that darkness, that was placed upon them. Come never to feel the grass upon there feet. Others never to see the morning sunrise. Why was all this taken from them ? Forsaken for a life time to the misery and the torments of that shattered life. These were the realities of the war and the consequences of the unlucky ones. This was there reality from the war. Any promise of tomorrow, could only be that shattered illusion of unknown happiness, taken away.
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