The Edge Of Emptiness

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 5 (v.1)

Submitted: May 01, 2013

Reads: 122

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Submitted: May 01, 2013




Part 5

He was still lost in her,

How strands of her hair were tucked behind her ears

The voice of her was echoing in his ears yet,

The way she walked,

The way she had veiled herself were shuddering and playing a race in his mind……

He was so lost that he didn’t know the car behing him pushing its horn madly to let him know. And then he was flickered by its horn and moved ahead. He stopped his SUV near his bungalow and drove inside. He didn’t delay for a minute and ran towards his room before any one called him; he threw his key on a side and in a second he threw himself on a recliner, holding his head in his arms…..

What is wrong with you hayyam?

Why have you been thinking about that girl since morning damn it?

Why have you been panoplyed by her gratitude that you even can’t control what you are doing…..

Oh come on man, please stop being havoc in your senses, and just get yourself out of this all…..

He was deep in his thoughts and after few minutes he flicked his eyes and groaned them back when door was knocked and he saw his mom Marium standing at the door 

Marium: Hayyam are you okay?

Hayyam: yaa mom I am good just tired nothing else

Marium: child it’s obvious, you do work all the time and you don’t even bother to take care of yourself; please now come in hall to have dinner, your dad is also waiting for you

Hayyam: okay mom you leave I will be there in a minute (marium nodded as okay).

Marium was not only mother of Hayyam but also his good friend. She always helped him as a friend, she was a pious and polite lady and his father Ali Hassan was quite polite man but hayyam was not like that he was stubborn and arrogant man, he wished to get to all whatever he wished and his attitude was least liked by his parents. They were worried for what he tended to behave but he could not resist because now he had been grown enough so he wished not to be interrupted by his parents at all because he knew better what to do and what not, despite of that he never crossed his limits, he never disobeyed his parents and they were sure that hayyam would not disappoint them at any cost so they considered better to stay away of his issues.

Pari reached at her home. It was seemed to be old house with bricks and muddy walls and colony seemed to be dirty. Her house had two rooms, one hall and a small kitchen where hardly two persons could stand. Her father Ali Abbas was died and he was a watchman. And his aunty, sister of Ali Abbas, used to live with her. Pari calls her Bua, she was very strict lady, she did not like pari and considered her as a burden on her brother Abbas yet she was not harsh by her heart for pari, she was only harsh in her words. She loved pari always but never cared her so much and pari did not mind her at all and she gave her always a very much respect. She was so jolly and bubbly that she was sure to delight her mood in a second.

Bua: so the great princess! Finally you got time to come back to your home? (She asked pari in anger and in a taunt manner)……….have you seen at clock that what time it has clocked?

Pari: I am sorry bua, actually today was my first day so obviously I had to know all the formalities regarding my job.

Bua: ya you are the one who has got job in this world……listen to me very carefully pari, it was Abbas who used to tolerate your serene and fool antics and stood by them but never ever expect that from me. I have permitted you to do this job because there is left no any other way except this so don’t you ever dare to cross your limits and next time I must not ask you to come early

Pari: what the hell….be on time, be on time, all have sticked on that sentence. In the morning hayyam sir was repeating same sentence that I hate late comers and now bua also….what is wrong with them or my ears have been tingling with the time, time, time…… (She was murmuring that in her lips when her bua packed her ears and asked her what she was uttering)?

Pari: no no bua I didn’t say anything against you, I just wanted to ask that if your scolds and revilations have been over, can I have dinner please. Because it has been hard for me to control my hunger pangs anymore please?

Bua: okay you take bath and come to have dinner together; I have also not taken, I was waiting for you. (Pari smiled and nodded as okay).

She changed her dress and after dinner she went to sleep, resting her head peacefully on bed. She was deep in her sleep, when after an hour, she was having nightmares and she was having quite weird dreams in them. She could judge nothing but sobs of girl, who was crying hardly and her body was cold that she was trembling, her hands were trembling like tremors and she was all alone standing at the main door and none was around her, it was dark enough and barking sounds of dogs were frightening  her even more. That girl was sat beside a main door of that house where she was standing, by hugging her legs and leaning on her knees. Her eyes were roaming here and there in fear and tears. The tears were gushing from her eyes as never to be stopped again in life. And she was saying nothing except that

Please open the door please,

I have not done that, you all are getting me wrong please give me at least a chance to explain myself please

And suddenly that girl felt a hand pressing her shoulder and she was winced and shuddered; her reactions were damn vicarious; she looked behind at once………

Pari suddenly spranged out of her dream as if she would have got a jerk in her dream, she was sweating, her body went cold and her hands had clenched the bed sheet very hardly. She felt musty cobwebs around her sitting restless and lifeless, she flicked and groaned her eyes and stood from her bed. She went towards the window of her room. She was staring at moon. She thought,

‘’How beautiful it is but Allah has bestowed it with that blank in it, filthy with all its beauty

He has not left perfection in that also so why we must be worried that Allah has not made our lives with perfections. It’s really hard to accept the facts and figures of life but a man has to whether he wants or not,

He has to accept whatever he has been bestowed.

Time is the big healer, it heals everything but scars of injuries given by life are never eradicated again in life and truly said that

Blessed are those who have never fallen in love.

Relations are made just to be broken not to be loved at all……!’’

She sighed her breath deeply, wiped her tears and got back to sleep. She used to see that dream almost every night but she didn’t tell that to anyone, not even to her father, and after that as always, she went to asleep after staring at moon and then uttering to herself. It had been habit of her.

Next day sun had been appeared to brighten the world again as always and the sunshine was streaming at her window; she could then realize that it was dawn, pari groaned her eyes and when she looked at clock, it had been 8 o’clock….. She was shocked and screamed;

Oh no it has been too late to me and bua why didn’t you awake me? She screamed

Bua: You had been in a very deep sleep so I didn’t bother to awake you because I thought you must be tired. Okay now stop arguing and get ready quickly (but before that all pari had already started rushing in her work as those words of hayyam were again tingling in her mind…..(I HATE LATE COMERS)! She hurried so fast and reached to hospital within 20 minutes without having even breakfast).

When she reached to her ward, she rushed to her cabin but before she could enter, she heard voice, STOP, she could easily know who could be there, ya it was of course Dr.Hayyam, she turned slowly and slowly towards him, tiptoeing her feet but not looking at him, she was staring on a floor and she could easily guise, what would be his next moves. He tiptoed towards her; when he came near to her, he was standing just few inches away from her and that was pathetic for her but she could not utter.

Hayyam: Dr. Pari! You are late; its 8:30 am and let me remind you that……(before he could complete his sentence, she interrupted,

Pari: sir you don’t like late comers, right? (Hayyam raised his eyebrow; it first annoyed him that how could she interrupt in his sentence but somehow he liked the way she behaved but he didn’t want her to realize that).

Hayyam: You know and yet you are late, any specific reason?

Pari: sir actually I was not fine so I could hardly wake up that’s why but next time I promise it won’t happen again.

Hayyam was seemed to be little worried to get her not fine; he asked her quickly if she was fine. She nodded as yes and hayyam felt satisfied to hear that but she was ashamed of what she spoke because she knew she was alright but because of her aversion and deep sleep she was late but it would have been risky to excuse of sleep so she considered better to lie to him.

Hayyam: okay good. So miss pari its time to inform you that get yourself ready for the open heart surgery to be conducted at 10:00 am. You make all the necessary preparations to be done and also inform your other colleagues to be on time in emergency ward but one thing you must keep in your mind that I don’t want any unusual thing to be done there as the way you misbehaved yesterday with Dr. Sam; it should not be repeated today, did you get Dr.?

Pari was damn shuddered that time because she did not know how to operate, she had no idea, she had never handed scissor or scalper to incise the either bone and it was open heart surgery. How would she handle that and what excuse she must pay to Dr. Hayyam. She was lost in her thoughts and that was not gone unnoticed by hayyam that why she had been winced but he remembered that she must be getting worried about the surgery. He smirked and asked her

Hayyam: pari don’t worry, you won’t operate at all, you just stay there to learn……. (He went close to her and said in husky voice) Do you know why? (He smirked again) Because I want you miss pari to be around me always……

Pari was winced to hear and see him smirking but she did not utter anything.

He leaned back to his straight posture and gazed in her eyes. He smirked to see her innocent face which had been pale and she was all trembling that she could not say except, (y y yyy yes sir yes sir, I shall be around you) she stopped and protruded her tongue in between her teeth to stop her complete phrase and at once she excused,

Pari: I mean sir I shall be there on time as you asked (she ran as a gust of wind within a second; he wanted to stop her but he didn’t and when she had gone, he had a wide smile on his face).

Sam: may I come in Dr. Hayyam?

Hayyam: yes of course you may! (She smiled and entered in his cabin where he was preparing for his next surgery. He asked sam to sit down by pointing his finger to chair infront of his table).

Hayyam: so sam are you ready for the surgery? but please sam this time don’t get hurry, because I want everything perfect there and ask dr. Riaz to make all necessary stuffs for anesthesia and don’t argue with me at a time of surgery, I don’t like those who don’t follow my orders; you know that better so do as I have asked you. (Sam was gazing him in irritating way as he was ordering her because she was not junior neither intern so he must better not teach her like that but anyways he was Hayyam Hassan Shaikh, who never bothered to follow anyone but tempted others to follow him).

Sam: I know all this Hayyam, please don’t teach me like a student…..just forget! I came here to ask you that why did you ask pari to stay there? I mean she is new, she doesn’t know anything; you better keep her away from yourself! She is just an intern!

Hayyam: look sam, I know better than you, I know what to do and what not so you stay away of my issues! And one more thing, I have asked all interns to attend the surgery, not to pari only! You please don’t try to create any scene. (He said that, throwing his anger on her and threw the stethoscope on table which he was having at that time. He also could not understand that what made him so fuddy-duddy-dies but he frustrated on sam to make her realized anyhow that pari was somehow meant to him).

Sam: what is wrong with you hayyam, what made you so angry! I just asked you a formal talk and you have burst out like that! You have never behaved me like that ever before and today just because of that so. called ordinary intern, you are scolding me, how could you? (she was not only annoyed but also dump folded to get that rudeness from his side which she had least experienced but more than that she was irritated because she was reviled for the sake of pari)

After a few minutes, hayyam breathed deeply to get out his anger in air. He realized that he had been rude to sam for nothing. He sat before sam

Hayyam: I am sorry sam; I had been rude to you for nothing! Once again sorry but don’t bring her again in our gossips. (Hayyam wanted to get himself away of those feelings which he had flickered feeling for pari. He could not get what was being run in his mind and heart for pari. He could not tolerate any word against her yet he didn’t accept that; he was fighting with himself to kick out those feelings as that could be just attraction and infactuation nothing more than that).

Sam: it’s okay hayyam but please be careful next time, it really hurts me! (She said and left with teary eyes).

Hayyam clenched his fist in anger and stamped in table……..

No its nothing, nothing at all, why should I think for her!

She is just an intern not more than that!

Why she is racing in my mind all the time!

Why it has been hard for me to get her out of my mind! He thought

He rested his head on his recliner to have peace of mind and when door was knocked. He bent his head to look; and it made him furious that she was standing before him whom he was trying hard to kick out from his mind. Ya she was none other than pari.

Pari: may I come in sir?

Hayyam, controlling his anger asked her to come in. He was surprised that he had been thinking of her and at the right moment she was there. He was annoyed because he didn’t want her to be there when he was fighting against his feelings to get her out but again she was there to fresh her image again in front of him. He was still on his recliner when pari asked him,

Pari: sir actually I had to ask you that whom should we submit our attendance sheet?

Hayyam was damn annoyed; he thought that she had come for just so small work to him. She could have given that sheet to anyone or could have submited at reception but why the hell she was supposed to stand there in front of him to ask him such a stupid question. He spranged from his recliner in anger and stepped in just two feet to cover the distance between them. He came close to her and grasped her arms tightly that she moaned in pain, gazing her with red eyes in anger that she was shuddered

Hayyam: what do you think miss pari that you can do whatever you want! (He yelled) what the hell do you think of yourself that you can trap me with your damn innocent face! I know the girls like you, who by any means can enchant to someone’s desires and turn on them but mind it that I am not among those guys! Don’t you even dare to come close to me! I know by these small stupid things, you come again and again to me to make me stare at you but I won’t let you win miss pari at any cost…..Did You Get that????

(He said that last sentence with most possible voice that he could echo with red eyes, that jerked to pari and she looked down with teary and welled eyes. She was dump folded to hear him yelling at her, not getting what made him annoyed! what was her mistake because sam had asked her to go to in his cabin to ask about that attendance sheet otherwise she had asked to sam but she didn’t tell her and asked her to discuss that with hayyam; that’s why she came to him) When she looked down, it was even more intolerable for hayyam. He at once grasped her arms again forcefully and asked her,

Hayyam: when I talk to you, look into my eyes damn it! I don’t like who don’t pay attention to me! (He yelled again loud enough that tears gushed from her eyes)

Pari: Sir you are hurting me! (that made hayyam to realize that he was really hurting her by his tight grasp. he lightened his grasp in her arms; his anger dumped down to see her tears. He swallowed his lump. He wanted to wipe them but before that he turned back not facing her; he clenched his fist with pain of her tears which were somehow teasing him).

Pari: sir I was not meant to ask you that but actually I had gone before to ask that from Dr. sam but she asked me that you deal with all those matters. It was better to prefer you first that’s why I came here. I am sorry I was not supposed to disturb you at all. Next time It won’t happen; once again sorry!

She said that wiping her tears and left without getting back his response. He forced his lashes with guilt and closed his eyes with pain for what so ever he did with her few minutes back. He was about to say something, when he turned back to her but she was not there; she had gone. He could not complete whatever he was supposed to say her; he could not bear the pinch and prick of her tears on his heart. He then realized what she had said that it was sam who asked her to consult about that matter with him; that made him to feel even guiltier that he must have asked pari at once before stooping so low and bursting out his own frustrations on that poor girl. He decided to sorry her at any cost before she left for home.



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