The days passed with over whelming and chauvinistic nights. Each day was so enchanting to the feelings of hayyam that even he could not realize that when he had been so close to pari. He didn’t know what she was feeling for him but he had really fallen for her. Hayyam had never backed up for any girl even not for sam but he was attracted to pari at the very first sight. But still he was not agreed to accept his own feelings, he was somehow avoiding it, urging to get rid of that but the more he tried, the most he was being involved in that. He at one time wanted to be away from her but at mean time he was trying to be nearer to her.
She was the one who could stand by Dr. Hayyam Hassan Shaikh!
She was the one, who attracted him!
She was one, who was havoc to his sensations!
She was one, for whom he was lost!
She was one who made him to smile all the time, yet he was neglecting that fact!
He somehow wanted her to be involved and indulged in him first but on other hand pari was unaware of that and how could she get to be first in relationship when she was all blank to his feelings for her.
Why there is veil of your shadows on my eyes!
Why my heart is yet empty, even being filled with your Love;
Why there has been smashed the Silence on my lips!
When I am all blank to glint you with my tears….!!!!
Hayyam was writing that poem on his diary, lost deep in her thoughts. He stood from his recliner and moved towards window. He stood there looking outside, feeling the gust of wind which was touching his face and his whole body softly, his eyes were closed and he was again singing:
Why your eyes have been so ignorant and aversen!
Why my eyes have been welled and teary for you
Why I have lost you even without getting you back,
Why can’t you be mine and we can’t be WE….!!!
He got back to his senses not letting him to be so lost in her; he jerked himself to get rid of those feelings for her.
Bua: pari I want to ask you something?
Pari: yes sure bua you can ask?
Bua: look my child, it has been passed two years; I and Abbas bro have nourished you like ours own. We have always tried hard to cherish you with all those nostalgic moments that you deserve but my child! Life is not as easy and simple as we want it to be. Life is so cruel and harsh! You even can understand better than us, it’s high time that you should get marry (there was silence for few minutes and pari was staring down on her floor, not looking to her bua while having dinner)…..pari it’s tough to live all alone, your father has been died and there is no sure of my life too; I can’t risk to let you live all alone. The society where we live is not such a type to let you live peacefully. People are waiting as beasts to flesh out the innocent one. They are in a chance to fool others’ feelings and emotions. They don’t care about the emotions of people, they play with them! I request you to get marry in my presence, in my life, my child!
Pari sighed her breathe and looked back into her eyes, lumping her morsel and gulping her feelings
Pari: bua I can understand what fear you do have but I must ensure you that I won’t let you be down at any cost and the question regarding my marriage is like suicide for me……bua I had gone through such situation, The most worst day of my life, those bad moments are nightmares in my life, which frighten me all night and you are asking me to go through such nightmares again!!! (bua was looking her with teary eyes, consoling her back with her eyes, because she knew she was saying all that right)……bua don’t get worried for me, I am okay with all that I have but don’t ask me for marriage again and don’t dare to utter again that you would no longer be with me! I won’t let you go anywhere away from me, just mind it! You have to tolerate me all the time (pari said hugging her bua with smiley face and that made her bua also to smile back).
In the morning, pari entered in her ward. She was standing near reception, hayyam was staring at her right from the moment when she had entered into hospitals, he was smirking. He came down to her.
Hayyam: You have been very much punctual? (He said while coming towards her, she turned back to him and smiled)
Pari: ya sir I had to be because I have to live with you (she stopped to get back her sentence which she uttered in hurry and that was more delightful for hayyam)… I mean sir I have to work with you in this ward so I have to be on time always as you had asked me that you hated late comers!
Hayyam: hmm not bad, you have memorized that my sentence! (He smirked)…..well pari I must inform you that you are going with me to attend the seminar regarding cardiology at Lahore tomorrow, so get ready dr!
Pari was shuddered completely, her heart felt feable, and she was all pale. She didn’t want to go there, she never wanted to be back there, she wanted to refuse but before she could speak, hayam asked her that he had made all preparations for their departure tomorrow and they would leave in morning.
Hayyam had noticed that sudden change in her gesture but he didn’t bother to muse as he was somehow happy to spend his time with her.
It was night; Pari was all lost, she was lost again in same dream which she used to have almost every night and that time it was even more transgressed for her. She felt that dream of her life to be almost near to the Day of Resurrection. She was all trembling, she thought to call to Dr. Hayyam to cancel her flight but she could not as she didn’t dare to have any excuse to him. She spranged from her bed and went near to window. She stood there, staring at moon with welled and teary eyes;
Oh my Dear Allah! Why are you examining me all the time?
Why do You want to abrogate me when I have nothing to pay at all?
Why do YOU want me to go there when there is left nothing for me!
Please Almighty Allah! Give me enough courage to maintain myself there boldly, don’t leave me alone there too as YOU have guided me in each step!
YOU guided me when I was all alone, when there was none standing by me but You didn’t let me alone and now please bestow me again! (She was praying and crying hardly).
I close my eyes once more, still feeling the pain left inside my soul.
Its black hollow and cold…
The dark clouds floating around me,
Under and over seem to never leave.
I see her shape and face all the time thinking it was my eyes playing tricks on me,
We let our hearts be broken, yet we still love, big knowing we could be hurt again.
I can still feel ALL THE TIME,
It’s around me under and over my shadows.
Closing my eyes wishing the pain from her leaving was over…….
There was left only silence and her weeping sounds and sobs…….
© Copyright 2016 Preh Rahim. All rights reserved.