I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know
I lied on the grass of my backyard gazing at the clouds with Ronnie.
"My life is ruined" she said "My parents won't stop yelling at Raymond for getting Jessica pregnant and for some reason I can't enjoy it".
"That's strange, I thought you'd be glad when that happens" I said as she sighed.
"Not when they yell at me too" she said "I can't believe Landon left so quickly, it's almost like he never came".
"He's a busy guy" I said as she chuckled.
"Well thanks for letting me stay at your house these couple of days" she said "I can't go home at all right now".
"Why are you thanking me? It's the least I can do" I said "and you let me stay at your house all the time".
"You miss Raymond, don't you?" she asked.
"It's only been two weeks since I've talked to him" I said.
"Yeah but I can tell" she said sitting up as I rolled my eyes and sat up too.
"I have nothing to say to him" I said shrugging "I like him… I like him a lot and he knows that but he just doesn't care".
"That's because he's an asshole" she said obviously "I told you thousands of times before, Raymond is senseless, he doesn't care if anyone likes him, he's as shallow as a pond, all he cares about is if the girl is hot or not and look where that got him, he's now tied to Jessica".
"What is he gonna do about this?" I said concerned "A baby is not something easy to handle, the last person that can have a baby is Raymond".
"I know" she said shrugging as we both stood up "but honestly, I don't care, we're leaving this place in two years, in two years we'll both go to college and leave this crappy town with its crappy people behind".
"That's the plan" I said as she laughed and gave me a high five.
I stood in the school hallway listening to No Promises/Shayne Ward while reading a school book.
"Summer" someone called as I quickly looked up and saw Raymond jeez I thought it was someone important.
"What do you want Raymond?" I said shoving my ipod in my bag.
"We need to talk" said Raymond.
"Stop saying that" I said "Listen, I really don't care anymore about you or anything else in this place, I'm leaving this place once I graduate and I'm leaving everything behind me so I don't need you or anyone else".
"Yes you do" he said "I know very well how you feel about me but Summer we're hardly friends and I wanna go back to that".
"No" I said in a duh tone "Because you need to grow up and handle how I feel about you, there is no rewind button Raymond, you can pretend something never happened, but doesn't change the fact it did".
"Summer" he said as I glared at him to shut up and walked away.
I stood in the kitchen with my mother, Nora and Ronnie setting the food up for the BBQ my parents are having.
"Mum a kid just threw up" said Tammy walking in the kitchen.
"Not again" said mum "That must be the Johnson's kid".
I chuckled while mum and Tammy walked away to the party.
"Well that's pretty much it" said Nora "You guys go to the party and I'll finish the rest".
"Sure you don't need help?" asked Ronnie offering.
"No, I'll finish the sauce and catch up with you" said Nora smiling as me and Ronnie nodded and walked to the party.
The party was basically filled with old people who worked with my parents. I spotted Landon's mother standing by the food table.
"That's Landon's mum" I said pointing at her as Ronnie traced my finger and seemed confused.
"What is she doing here?" said Ronnie confused.
"She still lives here with the rest of Landon's sisters and brothers, Landon is the only one that moved with his dad" I said shrugging.
"That's strange" said Ronnie confused "Why Landon?".
"I ask myself that everyday" I said biting a lettuce.
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