Raymond is waiting for me when I get off the bus. My laughter quickly dies off when I see him. He's standing beside the school building, which is pretty crappy as school buildings go. The school is an ugly shade of red, only because it's worn with age. It's cracking all over the place and at one corner it's missing a chunk. Not that I can see that right now because Raymond is standing in front of it.
"what are you doing here? I thought you would meet me at your locker, like always." I must have the stupidest look of shock on my face.
I probably look a little suspicious too. I mean my laughter and smile died as soon as I seen him. It doesn't help that I got pushed off the bus by some jerk and Justin had to catch me. The reason that's bad is because we're still clinging on to each other. Great now I look like the cheater.
Dropping my arms and forcing a smile that can pass as normal, I say "not that I'm upset bout it, it's nice to see you waiting here for me. Is there a special reason as to why you are?"
"no, but I see I should have met you at my locker as always."
"what is that supposed to mean?" anger raising my voice.
"so you could finish up with your second boyfriend."
"my second what?" I ask at the same time Justin says
"chill, bro, I only caught her."
"caught her from what, bro?" sarcasm on the last word.
"listen, Raymond, I can explain if you just give me a chance. Come on, lets go sit at the picnic table."
"fine, I have something for you anyway."
"you do? Oh see ya guys, I'll catch up with you guys in a bit." I yell as my friends start walking away.
"yupp, you bet ch'ya." Justin called back with a huge smile.
"ya, whatever." the rest of the guys, of course they can't be creative.
Walking the short distance to the picnic table feels like it's taking forever. I think it's because the world knows I don't want to spend anymore time with this guy; so it decides to slow down time or something. Slowly he sits me down on the bench and then sits next to me.
Everything is moving in extra slow slow-mo, and I mean really extra. He gets me to turn so I'm looking at him and him at me. What is he doing? I ask myself as he jumps up and gets me to turn, once again, to face the open grass. Next thing I know he's kneeling on the grass in front of me with a box in his hand.
"Kiki Shino, will you marry me?" he asks as he opens the box.
"what in the world of hell? What the fuck is this?"
"Kiki, I'm in love with you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I hope you want the same. Even if you don't right now that's ok. I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes you to realize how much you love me. I even have a gift for you if you say no."
"I, I don't know what to say Raymond." I'm so shocked.
"say yes and stay with me forever, I really want you. We can get married in a couple of weeks, nothing big but we can have the honeymoon somewhere exotic or just at my house in my room. You know you, me, and a little buddy. You know so we can do a little something something."
"Raymond, shut the fuck up! I can't do this."
"what do you mean? Oh here this is for you." he hands me a small little bag.
"no open the bag, then we'll talk."
I open the bag and peek inside. I see a little hand wrapped odd shaped thing. I reach my hand in and pick it up. I know I shouldn't open it, I'm trying to breakup with this guy not lead him on. I can't help myself though, curiosity gets the best of me a lot and today is no exception. As is the saying curiosity killed the cat, it is so true because curiosity just killed me. I can't breathe, it's too much. I can't believe it.
"is this, is it what I think it is?"
"yes it's the two things you wanted. You remember walking by the shop and seeing them in the window, right?"
"yes and they're beautiful, but I can't accept them or anything from you."
"no I won't take them back, even if you breakup with me. They're yours, they were made for you. But will you answer a question Kiki?"
"sure, what do you want to know?"
"will you, Kiki Shino, marry me?"
"what? You were serious? I'm sorry Raymond I can't."
"what? Why not?"
"First we are only sixteen and second...I can't keep you caged up, you need to be free. Free to be all that you destined to be."
"what? Your not caging me."
"fine let me put it this way, I'm a bird trapped, unable to fly anywhere. I'm trapped in a cage and you, Raymond, you are the cage that's trapping me. If you truly love me set me free, uncage me and then we can both be free of this pain that's sure to come."
"we're over, I need to be free and so do you. We don't belong together."
"because you cheated on me with Emelie."
"you know? You know I've been doing her since the third day of our relationship?"
"no, but I do now! I only knew about last night, you fucking bastard."
"oh please, I'm not the only one to blame. You've been doing Jack, Nick, Niall, Cam, and now this Justin guy."
"no I haven't I was waiting for you, but then I seen you with Emelie."
"oh. Give me another chance please, just one more chance?"
"no, no more chances. It's over."
"will you at least have breakup sex with me?"
"oh come on, give me another chance then."
"no, goodbye, bastard!" I say with finality as I get up and walk away.
Almost resembling a lost puppy, he follows. How annoying, I just refused to marry him and I broke up with him. As much as I want him to see how big his mistake was, I don't want a stupid puppy following me around. Walking around to the front I see the guys, sitting on the stairs to the school. Where they sit is as far away from everyone else, which means over in the corner. It's a place that, even if we got along with others, I would still claim as ours. The guys are starring at something. What it is, I don't know.
Walking up to them I yell "hey, what are my guys doing?" in their ears of course.
"shit, holy mother of shit!" and "what the fuck was that for?" are what I hear for answers.
Don't they know they looked like complete idiots staring at the ground? And if not, the least they could do is answer my question. But no they can't be smart enough to act or smart enough to make me look good. Oh well, I don't care, I still love them. How can I not? They are my friends after all.
"answer me, someone." I say, calmly and quietly this time.
"nothing, we've been waiting for you to get here and get your task done." Cam tells me.
"well I'm done."
"really? Well you may wanna tell your little puppy dog, there, that." Nick advises.
"what do you mean?" I ask.
"well, it seems he didn't get the message or he's really stupid." Jack explains.
"please, he proposed and I turned him down, he bought me the rings I wanted too. I turned him down and dumped him flat on his ass, I even left the rings I so badly wanted in their bag on the table. He knows it's over."
"apparently not. Take a look Kiki." Niall says.
Turning around slowly I spot Raymond. Ok yes I knew he was following me, but I thought he gave up at the point where I turned and walked towards the guys. Ugh, does he not give up?
He should really learn to, there's no way I want him again. All I want is for him to miss me like crazy and realize and admit his mistake. Plus regret everything he ever did to wrong me.
I need a way for him to realize I don't want, need, or love him. How am I going to do that, though? Think Kiki, think. What would get that point across? There has to be something I can do to get him to realize I've moved on with my life. That's it! I think as I grab Justin and swing him to the front of me so we're facing each other.
Without questioning myself any farther than I already am, I pull him in close and kiss him. And I don't mean a quick peck on the cheek, I mean I seriously kissed him.
It shocked not only Raymond, but everyone. That includes me, I don't know what came over me. I like him and all but I didn't think I would ever come on to him. Not like I just did at least. I try arguing that it's only to get my point across, but something tells me that's not the only reason.
"you bitch! I knew you were with him, don't deny it. I caught you so you can't deny it. Ugh, you bitch!"
"no, you're wrong Raymond. I have never been with him." I stated.
"then why were you just eating face with him?"
"because I thought it was time to move on, you obviously did last night." I say with a hand on my hip.
"that was a mistake." he whispered.
"really? Did you think Emelie was me or something? You're pathetic if you thought that slut was me!"
"I was drinking."
"you looked sober, damn sober. And anyways I realize, now, that I never loved you. I had the feeling you were cheating on me. It wasn't confirmed until last night, and, oh ya, this morning when you admitted you've been fucking her since the third day of our relationship! Now if you don't mind, leave!" with that I turned my back to him.
I don't know how long he stood there for, but it felt like hours. Eventually I heard his retreating footsteps and turned around. The guys were all looking at me, I couldn't read their expressions.
Do they expect me to do something retarded, like find Emelie and rip her to pieces? Of course I wanted to, but I have a little thing called restraint. I'll get my revenge in her, but I can't right now.
Rolling my eyes I ask "what? You think I'm gonna break down and cry? Idiots! You're all idiots! I'm stronger than that, you all know that. Or you should."
They still stared at me, annoyed I asked “Seriously guys? What's wrong with y'all?”
“Nothin' but you did just kiss our new boy, Justin, here. Jack pointed.
The others nodded their heads agreeing, in confusion, with the exception of Justin who just stood there, whether it was from shock or confusion I didn't know.
“So what? I needed to kiss one of ya so that shoe scum thing would leave me be. Plus it's not my fault the kid surprised me like mere seconds before. I was more than partly confused I was confused. I wouldn't ever have done that if I was thinking straight.”
“Ya like we're gonna believe that Kiki. All you did was breakup with him, how could that confuse you enough to kiss him?” Niall asked pointing at the still silent Justin.
“Guys just drop it.” Justin said before I had the chance to say anything “She doesn't owe us an explanation, if you didn't notice that fucktard wasn't gonna leave unless she did something rash and confusing like that.”
I smile “Well at least one of you five dimwits know what you're talking about.”
“Dude. You're confused. There were other ways to get him to run. She just chose kissing you because our little Kiki has herself a crush.”
What!? What the hell Nick? I do not. I was confused and didn't know what to do. And just because I'm short, a girl, and the youngest does not make me your guys' little anything. God you make me sound like a slut!” I half shrieked half defended.
The guys just sat there chuckling at me. My hands came up in front of me and did this whole weird clenching thing, you know the one where you wanna strangle someone, or in my case people? Ya, well that's what they were doing, and of course that just caused the guys to laugh even harder. Is it my fault that I was confused because Raymond had just proposed to me? I wanted to say, but of course I didn't.
“Wait. The guy proposed to you? Even though you just broke up with him?” Cam asked.
Well shit, I really have to stop thinking out loud. But I swear that wasn't out loud, just like right now. Maybe Cam is secretly gay and has these magical gay powers that allow him to read minds.
“I'm not gay!! I have a girlfriend Kiki!” Cam burst while the others laughed.
“Shit! Shitty shit, shit-shit! I really have to stop that. Sorry Cam, I didn't mean it.” I smiled apologetically.
“Ok, but did the guy actually propose?”
“Yes. Which is why I was confused and made the rash decision of kissing one of you. It could've been any one of you, I just kinda grabbed the guy closest to me. I didn't think about it. Listen, Justin I'm really sorry about that. For one we barely know each other and two no matter who it was it would have been awkward for them. The only reason I didn't find it awkward is because I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm really sorry,”
“It's fine. It wasn't that awkward.” after a pointed look from me he said “Ok so it was a little, but it helped you so I think that makes it ok.”
Jack gave a strange look to Justin, who shrugged in return. I swear I'll never understand the guy language. Even if all my close friends are guys. Just as i thought this all the guys started laughing.
“What now guys? I feel as I'm missing something.”
“I swear I will never understand the guy language. Even if all my close friends are guys.” Jack tried mimicking my voice.
“Well shit I thought out load again. And now I'm talking to myself out loud aren't I? Kiki I swear you are one of the stupidest people around here. Kiki does not agree. She is not stupid, the guys will vouch for her. Ah no, they are staring at her like she's crazy but what they don't know is that she passed through that town many years ago. She's now on her second or third route around and is currently mere inches away from insane. But because they don't know that she's safe.”
“Kiki?” that guys called me
“Quit talking to yourself! They practically scream.
“Especially in third person, next thing you know you'll be narrating yourself.” Niall adds.
“Kiki does not agree with that statement. She does not narrate herself...ok maybe sometimes. But she doesn't talk in third person to people.” I explain. Seconds later face palming myself because I realized I just talked in third person. “There goes Kiki's argument” I say.
They won't stop laughing at me. It's so unfair. Just 'cause I'm a girl and short. And younger than them all, only by some months though. Like come on it's not my fault I was born in December. Hey it was the second so I'm not completely all that young, right?
I see the guys roll their eyes at me so, naturally, I stick out my tongue.
“And she says she's not a kid.” Nick laughs
“I'm not!” I protest
“Just like a five year old.” Jack sighs
I stick my tongue out again.
“She really is.” Cam comments.
I cross my arms and pout “You guys.” dragging out the word 'guys' in a whiny voice.
“Quit picking on me..”
“Hmm let me think. Thinking, processing, answering; no.”
“Niall. That's so mean. You all are.” I pout. “What do I have to do to get Y'all to stop.” I look around “Hey, wait a sec, where'd Justin go?”
“Our little oblivious Kiki, what are we to do with you?” Nick asked
“Seriously, where is he?”
“As Nick said , you really are oblivious. He left a while ago. Why's it so important? Did you want a goodbye kiss?” Cam teased.
I growl at him, it's not funny. “You're lucky I don't rip your dick off and feed it to my hungry wolf Cam. I'd make you watch as she devours it. How would you feel about that? How would your mysterious girlfriend feel about it? Maybe she'd be happy because it's so small it doesn't make a difference to her. Or perhaps she would dump you because she's a shallow bitch that only wants you because she thinks it will be a triumphant victory to get in your pants, but the moment she discovers that you longer have your little friend she will look at you with disgust. But don't worry I can always set Luna on her to tear her to pieces. But I know Luna won't eat your dick now that I think about it she'd maybe give it to another wolf though, she does have some gorgeous wolf friends. Now I only wanted to know because we have one of the same classes in the mornings but I don't know what today is, as in do I have it first or second today. That is the only reason I was asking and quite frankly, this goes for all of you, I would rather set Luna on my only friends than hear you guys say I like Justin or even assume it. I will set her to you all if I have to. So in other words forget about that kiss, as you know it was to get rid of that fucking annoying and confusing bastard, Raymond. Do we understand?”
They all nodded their heads. They really hated when I got mad like this, especially when I statred to threaten them with Luna, my silver wolf. Ya I have a pet wolf, mom and Toby hate her. They thin that she'll attack one of us someday, but she's actually gentle unless I tell her to attack someone. The guys also fear her, that's how they can tell I'm serious. I rescued Luna last year, she was a newborn then and well she was stuck in between these rocks all around her her family lay dead. Hunters, that claimed the family was attacking them, had shot them all but her. They figured since she was stuck that she'd starve to death. At first I didn't know if rescuing her would be smart but then I decided she's a baby and can't harm me much. And even though she's only a year old now, she can attack and injure a full-grown man easily. I didn't want her to be defenceless so I helped her. She lives in the house with us, but goes outside whenever, to see her friends. These friends of hers get along with me great, which is almost weird because they range in age. Even the adult ones trust me, maybe Luna convinced them that I'm a good person, or maybe I'm a born wolf whisperer, I always joke.
“Umm excuse me?” A tall girl with long blonde hair says
“What?” I ask rather annoyed still.
“Geez, I was just going to ask you why you were practically threatening my boyfriend and to please leave him alone.” she gave me a sassy attitude.
“Jessa.” Cam called.
“Cam, who's this and how do you know her?”I said
“I should be asking you the same thing. How do you know a bitch like her Cam?” that girl, Jessa asked.
“Excuse me? I am not a bitch.”
“Ahh yes you are. Like seriously leave my boyfriend alone. And btw I am not a shallow bitch.”
“Wait a sec. Are you Jessa BomBelle?”
“It's Jessa BoDelle, God can't you insignificant emos get it right?”
“I'm not an emo, Jessa. I did know your last name I just can't believe it's you. And by the way, if you can get your head outta your ass I'm sure you'll remember we were once friends, a long long time ago before you and your parents got all rich and stuck up. You were my best friend.”
“Ya, I see you changed a lot. The last time I seen you was grade five, before you moved away and never talked to me again. I see you've moved back.”
“Wait, you guys know each other?” Cam asked shocked.
“Of course, Kiki was like my best friend. But I see now, because of my absence that she changed into this emo/scene bitch.”
“Jessa, I'm not emo or scene. I'm also not the one with my head up my ass!”
“I am not acting like that!” she protested “So what are you?”
“I'm a person.” I said simply
“You know what I mean, what's your label?”
“Oh you mean how you're now labelled as stuck-up rich bitch.”
“Um no. I'm a popular.”
“Oh a prep. You know the type of people you used to hate. I guess that's why I didn't recognize you. You used to where jeans and sweaters, like me. But I get it, you now where sluttly clothes.”
“Umm have you seen what you're wearing?”
“I don't wear this all the time, this is a one day thing?
“Why you need it for your new job?”
“No. It's none of your damn business. I don't have to tell you anything, just like you never told me you were leaving and didn't even say goodbye.”
Ok I realize I said that I've always had guys as friends, and I have. It was just from grade two to five I did have a best friend, that was a girl. Her name was Jessa BoDelle, the very girl I'm standing with right now. We told each other everything, we hated all the rich kids with their annoying voices, personalities and bad habit of throwing their money in our faces. Even as kids the rich and 'fabulous' people were pains in the ass. However when it came time that telling things really counted, she didn't tell me she was moving and never said goodbye. To top it off she never contacted me again. To say the least it was then and there that I decided I would never have another friend that was a girl again. I've been ok with that, until now. Seeing an old best friend all changed and stuff really upsets you and makes you miss their company. It also makes you reconsider your decision, or at least it did for me. Seeing her brought back memories and I want a best friend, that's a girl, again. Obviously not her though, she's changed.
Hands on her hip and loathsome eyes Jessa demands “Cam, I don't want you to associate with her. And I mean ever again.”
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