this isent a family anymore its hell i dont like it here as i sit at the table i start daydreaming about basketball i want to join the team the coach says i got talent but ryan is playing already and theres no way in hell me and him can stay in a basketball court alone.no body talks anymore no one.dinner is quiet i dont even get noticed if i walk out the door.it all started when mom got a brain tumour three years ago we all thought she was going to make it she was a fighter.then the day she died i blamed it all on ryan of course i know its stupid but i was so angry the day before we found out she had a brain tumour my mom and ryan got into a fight i dont know what it was about but all i know was that she was yelling and i wanted to tell ryan to shut up and leave her alone but i dident i just stood their frozen.it scared me no one raised their voice at my mom no one.not even dad.and then ryan started blaming me and that me made me so mad.and three days after mom dies me and ryan got into a fight and i broke his nose and arm.dont ask how i did it.i dont know all i know was that when the fight was done he was on the floor blood every where.i was shocked for a minutet but then i just walked off calling dad.
ryan is a year older then me and he happens to be the most popular guy in school and all because of some stupid basketball everyone loves him which just makes me sick.hes a sick arrogant bastard in my opinion.and cocky and he thinks he knows everything.all the girls like him which i dont get.ya sure hes good looking but still i dont get how they all get along with him.
im sitting in a bleacher our team is winning and from the far corner i notice sara shes waving at ryan and hes looking at her smiling i caint help but laugh at the arrogant bastard i swear if he doesnt pay attention will loose this game.i dont care what happens to him but it irriatates me that hes not paying attention.heck if i was playing id probably do a better job then him.of course i get it why a million guys would stop and look at sara that way.not only is she popular but shes freaking beautiful too.ive only talked to her once and lets just say it dident end so well.i just wish i could talk to her some time but im so shy and plus on top of all taht the last time i talked to her was in the sixth grade i almost pissed my pants.stupid anxiety.
suddently i realize that im still staring at her cause shes looking at me i turn a littel red what is she thinking i expect her to roll her eyes at me or making a comment to embarres me but instead she just waves at me.i then relaxe okay she so she doesnt hate me.but a thought inside of my head tells me not to expect anything good to happen just because she said hi.theres no way in hell i could ever had a chance with her even if i wished for it.
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