It never will be the same
Writen by naomi Quintans Quintans
Chapter 1: Lost
“you stay home you hear that young lady!!!” Alice mother Jane shouted loudly.
Alice had her mp3 on and tried to hum along with the guitar solo.
She packed her schoolbag and her backpack while sighing.
Her mom was at it again, doing one of her rampages.
“screw you mom” Alice said
“what did you say there….”
“ enough mom I don’t want to see you again, I have enough of this shit ROT IN HELL BITCH” Alice screamed fearless. She picked some books and some snacks. Some ships and bread and cheese and some cookies would be enough to run away for at least three days. Her stepdad was drunk again and her mother helped him up.
She missed her dad in days like this. In fact she missed him every day.Not that he was dead or anything. He just left her mom for a younger woman, they had a kid together now. A sweet girl named Lilly; she must be two years old now.He had send her a photo of her half sister. Her mom told her to burn it but she just couldn’t.
She looked just like her dad but then with apple cheeks and instead of the chocolate brown hair her father had she had red brown hair with curls. She had the kind eyes of her father and that made Alice love her.
“ oy Allie come to daddy…” her stepdad said with a smirk enjoying the sick face Alice pulled as she looked at him.
“don’t look so mean like that you’re mother loves me” he kissed her mother passionate.
“sorry Stephan I don’t like alcohol breath!!” Alice said in a rage. Her mother’s face became redder when she saw her daughter walking to the door.
“Alice!!!! Come back here!!!!” she shouted. She stormed to Alice and gave her a slap in her face. Alice saw her stepdad giving her a triumphant smile and made a gesture to kiss her.
He is so enjoying her pain.
She gave her mother a hard push and let her fall on the floor. She tried not to notice the deep swearing of her mother and her stepdad idiotic laugh. She just avoided the vase her stepdad threw at her. She went to school as fast as she could on the crappy old bike of her mom’ s childhood.
“If that man dares to lay one finger on her then…” Alice thought out loud. He was always violent when he was drunk and it seems her mom had learned some things of him.
“stupid asshole” she swore loudly.
Why didn’t she have ordinary parents and many friends?
It all started when her mom and she moved to this boring town.
She met a guy on speed dating and moved in with him.
Two months later they were married.
One month later Stephan lost his job
One week later he started drinking and wasting money on booze.
One day later came the abuse
Alice regrets that day even more then the day she was born. Luckily she had made one friend in this hell of a town. Her name was Jasmine. Really a bookworm type.
You could always find her in the library after school. She wasn’t an outgoing person
But Alice didn’t mind. She was also not an outdoor person. And jasmine listens to Alice when Alice needed her. Jasmine didn’t mind that her best friend was bisexual. It’s true that Alice fell for both boys and girls. But she preferred girls more.
She had a tough time on school and had to handle the bullies. That was the disadvantage of being the new kid. She knew who she needed to avoid.
One of them was Jessica.
Her long golden hair embraced her oval face and her brown blue eyes looked like they came out of an old painting. Alice knew how she felt the first time she met Jessica.
Her heart started to beat faster.
Her throat felt dry.
She immediately felt attracted to the blond rebel who helplessly chased a small brown-haired birdie.
She didn’t know better.
But unfortunately she is a fast learner.
One upon a time in the canteen Alice stared at Jessica from a distance.
She hadn’t made any friends yet and waited on an opportunity to talk to the blond rebel. Her look wasn’t unnoticed. “what are you staring at? What are you a lesbian?” Jessica laughs mean at her. Alice was speechless because of the hurtful tone Jessica spoke. “look out kitty before I’ll devour you” Jessica said with a passionate voice.
Alice knew the brown birdie had flown away. A pregnancy it suppose but Alice wasn’t that sure about that fact. Jessica came close to Alice and stared deeply into her eyes.
Jessica kissed Alice neck and bit softly into her ear. Alice blushed deeply and saw the disapproving gaze of four girls without names where Jessica hanged around with.
Her breathing became more rapidly while Jessica planted a kiss an inch from her lips.
Jessica laughed at this playful kitten. In her playful touches, Alice put her arm around her waist and the other hand on her chest as a wall between them. She went back at Alice ear and felt a shiver go through the skinny girl. Suddenly she gave a tug on Alice ear and felt blood dripping from her teeth. The girl had only given a sigh and a soft moan and sob. “that will teach you fag” Jessica smiled wide.She gestured to Jade for a handkerchief to throw what the redhead almost did immediately. She wipes her mouth and threw it to Alice.That’s when she met Jasmine .She cursed at Jessica but Jessica just walked away. Since then Jessica had a new name: Ice queen. She had the heart of ice and the face of a queen. Jessica had a gang of four girls: Beth, Kelly, Christine, Jade.
Girls as rotten as Jessica’s heart.
But today she went too far…
Alice was walking to the toilet and didn’t see Jessica and her gang coming.
When she went inside, Jessica told BB also known as busy bob a nickname for Beth to look out for teachers. Then she told Chrystal diamond or Christine and silent killer (Kelly) that they had to hold Alice hands against the wall. TC or ticking clock (Jade) had to hold the camera.
Jessica smirked at the idea of finding a new toy. The last one became so scared she moved away. “sigh” she was thinking how boring but cute the last one was.
Her name was Sarah.
She had soft short brown hair and loved to write stories.
Jessica watched her from a distance but eventually it wasn’t enough anymore.
She wanted more of this little birdie.
She wanted so much more.
So one day…
Jessica’s thoughts were disrupted with a poke.So she looked at Alice and smiled
“What do you need!!!” Alice said roughly.
Jessica laughed. She so was going to have fun with this kitten. No that isn’t true Alice wasn’t like a kitten. Alice was more as a lioness. Strong but vulnerable
And you have to show a lioness who is the lion and boss. Jessica came close to Alice face.
Her breath tickled her neck. Alice became scared and tried to think of ways to defend herself not knowing what Jessica wanted. So she kicked Jessica in the stomach.
The kick was too soft and Jessica began to laugh again.
“come on kitty can’t you do better?” said Jessica with a satisfied grin. Resulting that Alice spit in Jessica’s face. Jessica began to lose her patience and she put a hand on Alice her chest.
Jessica forced a hard kiss and Alice had trouble breathing. Jessica forced Alice mouth to open with her tongue. The harder Alice struggled against Jessica the more Jessica enjoyed it. Suddenly Jessica taste a strange flavor and a short pain filled her. Jessica thinks “ that bitch who does she think she is…I can’t believe she bit me!!!” Jessica hit her hard in the face leaving a handprint behind. She bit in Alice neck, ear and even in her breast till it bled.
Alice cried out. “Shut the fuck up” yelled Jessica. Jessica took her by her hair and hit her head against the wall. Alice fell on her knees. Jessica took off Alice jacket so only her top was visible. “We’ve a cutter” Kelly yelled. Jessica watched the rough cuts that were scattered all over her arms. Jessica came over such a rage that she couldn’t help herself anymore. She gave Alice a deep blow in her stomach. Alice felt her eyes becoming heavy. She heard a sound it was the rain dripping restless against the window. Jessica took Alice by the throat. She wanted to kiss her again when BB came.
“Miss French bitch is coming!!!” Jessica smiled sweetly at Alice. “If you don’t want this movie on the internet you will keep your mouth.” The door slammed behind Jessica’s back. Alice fell down on her knees, while sobbing her rage became higher and more fierce full.
She took the razorblade she always had with her. She felt the silver on her skin piercing in her flesh. She felt the warm liquid dripping on the floor. She didn’t care about the person who would find it. It felt like her first time cutting. Then it was also rape that made her do it.
It was when her stepdad raped her.
Her mom was working she had to cause Stephan didn’t earn anything.
He was drunk again.
He was drinking in the kitchen.
She went in and he attacked her.
He even threw the chair at her.
She dodged it but he grabbed her from behind.
Alice didn’t want to remember.
She wouldn’t remember.
Her soft cries filled the smelly toilet room when the teacher entered “Hello? Is somebody here?” Miss Lunoir searched where the sound came from. Alice opened the door her hand was filled with blood. “You must treat that immediately” she said softly remembering some old years of hers. Miss Lunoir was Alice and Jessica’s French teacher. She was very sweet to her students and was really strict to the bad students. She had a list with problem children who had a bad reputation. She was very strict to them. She did that to harden them so they would know bad behavior will get punished. Jessica was one of her students that were more at detention then in her class. She was lucky that she had rich parents who donated a lot of money to the school. She would do her own thing. Miss Lunoir hated Jessica’s attitude but she had to admit the girl had guts. She was top of the class even thou she is half of the time skipping her class.
“miss what have you done !!!” said the nurse shocked. She rushed for the band-aids and took a long one. Miss Lunoir pressed Alice against her, frightened Alice would collapse out of blood loss. But she didn’t she stood firmly. She was glad that there were still people who cared about her. She was a good student and her grades where above average. Her grades used to be top of the class but because of the remarrying and the constant bullying her grades fell down a little. Miss Lunoir had noticed that and regretted she didn’t did a thing that time.
It’s not like Alice mother cared. As long as she passed she wouldn’t get beaten. When she failed Alice wasn’t afraid and didn’t try to hide the test. It would only make things worse.
“Alice…Alice…Are you alright Alice?!!”said miss Lunoir shocked.
“Ah yes…sorry my mind was elsewhere.” Alice spoke slowly what made the teacher and nurse worry more. It was as her energy flowed away with her blood.“Are you tired?” asked the nurse firmly. “A little” Alice blinked with her eyes because they felt heavy. The nurse put on some bandages and let her rest in the nursing bed they had in a private room. It seemed that the cut didn’t need any stitches. She gladly accepted the offer of laying down till school’s over. “ring” the last school hour.
It was time to go home ……
‘maybe she could…?’
“you’ve got a text message”
She looked at her cellphone and smiled at the screen that was showing:
<3jassywessy<3 13/09/09 16:45
She opened it:
Hey Allybell it’s pizza night let’s rent some movies and make some homework together so please come please please please loves jassywassy xxxxxxx<3
She laughed and send a “sure I’ll come” she went to her bike while making sure nobody would be drawn to her bandaids. She didn’t see Jessica and her gang. Maybe they skipped classes again. Maybe they were watching the video right now. Alice became angry and kicked against a rock. The rock flew against her bike and left a small scratch behind. Alice sighted but then she found a small letter that was tied against her front tire. There was something written in a perfect handwriting:
You’re mine kitty???loves J.
She looked at the three hearts with a pained face. She knew it was Jessica’s handwriting because she had done chemistry class together as partners. What does it mean to belong to Jessica? Being raped again…a relationship? She guessed the first one. She thought Jessica was different. But she wasn’t…she was just like Stephan. It felt like her heart broke in a million pieces. Why does she feel like that.
She put the piece of paper in her pocket.
She didn’t know how to feel. Humiliated? scared? frustrated? She felt that and something more. It was a feeling she didn’t understand.
Suddenly her animal instincts took over as she heard laughter behind her. First graders she noticed relieved. It was time to go. She needed to forget today.
She needed her friend. She took her bike and took off.
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