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Chapter 1: Taking it...

My old man stumbles towards the kitchen, passing me in the dining room, making little to no effort of eye contact. I can tell he's still drunk off his ass from one of his infamous late night adventures. From the corner of my eye, I see him leaning against the door of the fridge struggling to keep his body up. He scans the fridge with his weary eyes, unable to find what he’s looking for. Then he shoots a piercing glare in my direction.

“Hey! Hey boy, did you eat ma' steak?”

“No, I didn't take your steak.” I answer trying to sound as respectful as possible. While keeping my head facing down trying not to look him in the eyes.

My father coughs up a nasty death-inducing breath and slams the fridge door shut. He takes a step towards my direction rubbing his hard-to-open eyes, scratching his rusty beard then slamming one hand on the kitchen counter.

“You trying to be smart with me boy?” he asks.

I ignore him and continue eating my breakfast because I want to avoid another incident and not repeat what happen last time. But my father wouldn't left that happen. I developed a theory that he needs a daily dose of conflict with me just to get through his day.

“You answer me when I’m talking to you boy,” he says as he swipes his hand brushing items from the counter onto the kitchen floor, breaking whatever can be broken. I jump out of my seat with my fist clenched tight preparing for what might come.

He stares me down with eyes wild and fiery, his fist flared and clutched tight, ready for a fight. But I say nothing, I simply stare ans wait for his move.

“Now, I will ask you again boy. Did you…eat…ma’ steak?”

“No,” I say with a crackle of fear in my voice followed with a gulp.

I really didn't feel like fighting this morning, but it's not like I have the option to choose. I simply want one day to go by when home doesn’t feel like hell on earth.

“There are only two people that live in this house. And I didn’t eat it, so it must have been you,” he says carefully articulating each word.

“I didn't eat it. You came in late last night, as usual, and raided the fridge. You…you must have eaten it.”

“Why you stuttering? It’s because you’re lying, isn’t. You ate my damn steak didn’t you? Don’t you lie to me boy.”

“I didn’t -”

He tosses the coffee maker glass at me shattering it against the wall as I duck.

“You don’t get to eat in this house. Not when you eat my food and lie. But if you tell the truth, I'll forget about, and lets say I'll make you dinner tonight. How's that sound?” He says with a ****** grin.

He's lying and I knew it. He's never made me dinner, at least not since I was about eight. He told me long ago that if I can walk and talk then I was old enough to make my own damn dinner. But that was a lie too. He simply was never home to actually make me any food. He was always out getting drunk and high or hanging around his thuggish friends. I knew what he was doing, even from a young age. I've seen much more that any kid should have.

“I swear I didn't eat your steak. You came in last night and ate it, then you left." I repeated. “You probably don’t remember because you were so high last night.” I accidentally elevated my voice on that last comment.

He yells, “You calling me an idiot, boy? You don’t think I’d remember something like that. How dare you disrespect me! I'm your father! Don’t you dare talk back to me!”

“I’m not doing anything. I’m simply sitting here eating my breakfast. I was not arguing with you. You are the one who-”

He throws an empty container at me, but misses. I didn't even have to duck that time because his aim was so bad.

He stretches his hands out alongside the kitchen doorway and says with ***** annoyance,

“You, you, you. That’s all I ever hear coming out of your damn mouth. You’re always blaming me for your problems. So shut your damn mouth and get you little ass to school before I get mad. I’ll deal with you when you get back.”

I hold my tongue refraining from speaking out against my father. I'm wondering if I should be grateful he let me off easy this time. Usually, he'll throw a lot more things at me or we’ll partake in a shouting match; but luckily for me, this morning is one of those days when he was too drunk or high-as-hell to engage in any physical altercation. This time, all he is able to do is yell. So I grab my book bag and head out the door with haste and while burying anger.

Walking down this same damn street every damn morning with this same damn pent up feelings is tiresome. I'm unsure how much more of this life I can take. Every day I feel my fists becoming closer to being permanently clenched from constantly preparing myself for another fight. As long as I live with my father this is where they'll remain after every interaction with that man.

I see the school bus behind me about to turn the corner, so I book-it to the bus stop or else I'm walking for nearly an hour. I try to breathe controllably as I lean against the school bus stop pole. I can hear the kids on the bus screaming and yelling like maniacs as the bus draws near. I take the same seat about six rows down next to the window, I throw my backpack onto the floor below my seat and look out the window ignoring the usual rambunctious and ill-behave teenagers.

Aside from the usual screaming at each other, some kids throw dry and wet paper balls, some sing as if their celebrities and others shout vulgarity trying to prove how "crunk" "tough" or "ghetto" they really are. Some sleep because of the wild nights they have the night before, but the rest are like me. We either sit quietly being unacknowledged by the crowd or get picked on by them. I'm lucky enough to be among the unacknowledged.

After making a few more stops, a kid name Alexion boards the bus. He has his head face down with his hands gripped to his backpack tightly. He's the last kid to board, along with two other students, a girl and two boys. These two boys are the rowdiest of them all. Their presence reek trouble and havoc. The girl? Well, she's just a girl. She hardly ever rides the bus, but I do see her around school sometimes. Alexion usually sits anywhere anyone will allow him. Some kids don't let him sit by them, but sometimes when they do, it is usually a joke to mess with him. And today Alexion gets to sit next to me.

He barely even looks at me when he asks if the seat is taken. I actually didn't even hear his question, but I know that's what he was trying to say. I figured since obnoxiously boisterious chick whom usually sits by me didn't come today, why not?

After Alexion takes his seat, hear some of the kids moaning because I didn't join in on their little game of not giving him a seat. I'm actually the third person Alexion ask today. That's a record. He sits down with his face partially bury behind his backpack, which I noticed appeared to be new. But I didn't bother to give it a second thought.

Getting off the bus everyday is chaos. Everyone is pushing and shoving and it's not because their eager to get off to learn, but because it's simply fun to shove one another. My school isn't in a poor neighborhood, the ghetto, the rich side or anything like that, but it is known for its violence and partying. There are almost about three fights or some kind of dramatic outbreak a week. It's always about the most trivial and typical teenage things anyone would come to expect. And the only reason I am aware of any of this is because since I'm so quiet and unnoticed at school, people tend to talk and gossip around me. It's like I'm a trapped in a ghost's body.

At my locker, I witness lots of typical drama and today isn't any different. I caught wind of a couple breaking up, some nerd being tripped and a girl whispering to her best friend that she lost her virginity last night. It’s funny how much I learn about everyone else's life, but no one knows squat about mine. What's funny is the girl who's celebrating the loss of her virginity, lost it to the boy who is now breaking up with his girlfriend. I've seen them two together quite a few times. It doesn't take a genius to connect the dots.

As usual, school is a bore. Nothing eventful happens, at least not to me. And my home life is unfortunately anything but boring. It seems the cards of life dealt to me are somehow tainted with permanent misfortune, and the dealer refuses to reshuffle the deck.

At lunch I sit at a table flooded with mostly girls. We don't usually talk, but they are there. I really sit with this guy name Tylin who sits across from me. He's a pretty interesting character. He's loud, always excited, and pretty funny I must admit, but I will never tell him that. He chooses to sit at this table simply because he is determined to get a girlfriend before he graduates next year. Tylin is this really tall, dorky, skinny dude with a single chest hair that he is very proud of. He reminds me of it practically every day.

"I am so close to asking Raina out, Chris. I can feel it, just a couple more run-ins and zing I got her hooked in my reigns," he says rubbing his hands together.

"You say that everyday Tylin. Simply ask her out. I'm pretty sure by now she knows you're stalking her," I say.

Tylin gives me a narrow look. "No she doesn't."

I smile and take a bite of my burger.

"I mean I'm not stalking her. I'm just letting myself stay close enough to her presence anonymously. That's different."

"That is a fancy way to describe stalking," I tease him.

"Whatever man. You're just jealous. At least I show some interest in girls or anything for that matter. You just sit there all day like a ghost. I don't want to be invisible. Just wait, once I get Raina to be my girlfriend, I'll be one of the guys who get an invitation to every huge party."

I snicker at Tylin. "What makes you think that will happen? To my observation, Raina isn't even one of those party girl types. She is more of a, 'let’s stay up all night watching all eight movies of the Harry Potter series'”.

"Don't make fun of her. She's perfect. Pure perfection." He awes.

I sip my milk then reassure Tylin, "I’m not. I'm simply saying placing her on a pedestal that you manifest in your mind will disappoint you,"

"You're so odd, Chris. Who talks like that? I know you're a straight A student, but it's still weird."

Tylin picks up his burger for a bite, then whispers to me, "Oh my god, Chris. It's Raina. Don't look, she's walking this way."

I turn around.

"No, don't look," Tylin says slapping the table.

I turn back around and continue to drink my milk.

"Alright, here's my chance. I'm going to talk to her again," Tylin says with confidence.

Raina approaches our table walking with her tray. She smiles and waves beyond us to a table full of her friends. Tylin gets up with his tray in an attempt to 'coincidentally' walk into Raina. Tylin is so awkward, especially around girls he likes. He walks towards her direction as she pursues the opposite. He plays a short game of 'oops, I'll go left and you go right' with her.

Tylin gleams and says, "Hi Raina. We have got to stop meeting like this. I'm starting to think this is fate."

She stops walking, rolls her eyes and ask, "What do you want Tylin?"

"Nothing, I…I just...we bumped into each other, so I thought I'd say hi."

"Hi Tylin. Bye Tylin," she says walking around him rolling her eyes again. As she passes our table, she smiles at me and say, "Hi, Christopher."

I give her a faint head nod and a light smile.

She slowly begins to walk backwards and shouts, "Thanks for helping me with the biology test. I got a B+."

"No problem," I answer back.

She turns around and walks to sit with her friends. A few seconds later, I could hear her friends letting out a girlish scream.

I continue drinking my milk as Tylin sits back down with his tray.

He eyes narrowing once again. But this time it’s with piercing eyes of jealously.

"She must really like you, huh," he says with focused envy.

“Doubt it. I simply helped her with her biology test, nothing more. I didn’t really want to, but the teacher begged me to do it. She’s simply grateful is all.”

Tylin begins to pout. "Whatever, I can tell she's not interested in me anyways." He says as he looks back at her.

Tylin continuously speaks to me about his not-so love life problems. He even shares personal things with me. I don't understand why, I never do. However, there is always this part of me that really wants too. No other student at this school takes the time to get to know me, even though I hardly speak anyhow, back causing most to give up. Then again, if I were to stay silent for a complete hour, Tylin can carry the entire conversation all by himself. He is a huge chatterbox, except around pretty girls, jocks, teachers, authority figures and guys bigger than him; which is odd to say since I am in fact bigger than he is. I'm pretty tall, just not as tall as Tylin. My body is fit and mostly toned. But I have to be, in order to survive my fathers' wrath.

I attempt to encourage Tylin. "She's interested Tylin. She's probably playing hard to get or something. You know...girls."

"I hope so," he says as he continues to look at her...or shall I say stare.


Submitted: January 05, 2013

© Copyright 2022 Roselia Leon. All rights reserved.


Add Your Comments:



Ohh, that sounds like such an awesome beginning of an awesome novel~! I like Chris a lot~! :D Would love to read more about Chris! How DOES he look like~! Yep, sucker for hot-looking characters, I'm assuming he's gorgeous, haha!
So, hey, if you have the time, do check out my new short story, Janitor, Swindler & Caretaker!

Mon, January 7th, 2013 10:43am


thank you i really hope you love this story. i plan on posting a new chapter everyday till completion. and yes chris is very interesting. the way he sees things is intriguing. and oh whether he's hot or not well that for the reader to decide. looks are both inside and out you know. keep reading things get crazy. you just have to wait for it

Mon, January 7th, 2013 7:05am


Interesting so far. Can't wait for more chapters :)

Mon, January 7th, 2013 8:34pm


thank you. i'm doing my best to keep that interest

Mon, January 7th, 2013 4:06pm

jiji chocolate sweet

this is a great start for the story, very intreguing!!! i loved it chris is so interestig and the way he describs his world is fun, though his world is not!!! kmu!!

Mon, January 7th, 2013 10:46pm


thanks. i like that you like the way chris speaks. that is the scariest part about writing him, figuring out his speech patterns. everyone has one so it will be a challenge staying consistent. i'll keep it going.

Mon, January 7th, 2013 4:21pm

Angel Kitty

Ok, I thought it was hilarious that Chris was just sitting at the table, eating his Cheerio's (I made that up) and minding his own business and then his father just storms in, opens the fridge and starts yelling at him for "eating his steak" this is a great story and I am looking forward to reading it. Thank you so much for posting a reading request on my wall, I have to hurry and finish my Mid-Term corrections (I'm on break) and I will read the next few chapters, expect a fan from me!

Mon, January 7th, 2013 11:30pm


Gracias. i love long comments. also i think i know what you meant by it but that first scene is not suppose to be funny. it's suppose to be serious and show how ridiculously malicious Chris's father is. And i hope you do continue to read and enjoy this story. i promise you there will be a lot a of surprises in this novel. and i guarantee you will not expect any of them. stay posted. at least one new chapter everyday 'till completion.

Mon, January 7th, 2013 4:45pm

Angel Kitty

Oh yeah, it's sad that his father would act so stupidley over a steak and I think it's kinda sad. The thing I thought was funny was how he was minding his own business and that there's always someone to ruin that peace.

Tue, January 8th, 2013 1:37am


yeah i knew what u meant

Tue, January 8th, 2013 1:26am

Nero orthodox

i lyk it !

Tue, January 8th, 2013 3:19am

Mawr Gorshin

An interesting story that grabs you right from the beginning. It's something many of us can relate to, coming from abusive families. I assume the grammar mistakes are intended, as a reflection of the personality of the character/narrator.

If you're interested, I'm also writing a novel, also one about family abuse. It's called 'Convalescence'. Please check it out and tell me what you think.

--Mawr Gorshin

Tue, January 8th, 2013 4:12pm


Right from the beginning? Thank you. Starting a story IS my biggest weakness. I'm glad I found the right way to overcome that in this one. I use to start a story of with a person waking up late from their alarm clock preparing to rush to school (lame). As for the grammar mistakes, if they are in quotations, then they probably were intentional but if in Christopher's thoughts, they probably were not. I just have to edit.

P.S. usually i completely ignore or delete the comment of a person who advertises their work under my work and not on my home page, simply because I find it rude. But you worked it in your critique as a resemblance so I'll forgive. But you probably shouldn't do it again. Next time just make a comment on my profile that says you commented on my work and suggest your stuff there.

p.s. I'm not sure if you noticed but as you continue to read Christopher says "simply" a lot. It's kind of his go to word like when harry potter says "brilliant."

Sat, January 12th, 2013 2:23am


Very good story. I like this due to my own personal experiences. I'm kind of curious of the character, Raina. Overall, very nice, one that grabs your attention as it's something so many people can put themselves in the same situation.

Wed, January 9th, 2013 5:06am


Ah, Raina. She originally was not going to be a serious character and hardly ever mentioned but as i write the rest of my story, I decided that she would be a nice addition and an interesting counterpart to Tylin.

Sat, January 12th, 2013 2:07am


Hello :) Thank you for the reading request. This is a really good start to a novel. I love Chris already :) It's such a shame that he's stuck in a destructive home like that, but it's good that he is able to stand up for himself and fight back, unlike some. So, I'm off to read the rest :) Good job, and thank you for bringing this story to my attention :P

Wed, January 9th, 2013 7:40pm


You are most very welcome. And it's always a good sign when people love your main character vs. annoyed with him/her.

Sat, January 12th, 2013 1:48am

Shae Kamerer

Very good!

Wed, January 9th, 2013 11:03pm


I like the start out to your novel. It definitely caught my attention. I know this story will live out to be one of the best out. Can't wait to see how Chris turns out overall as the story progresses. Keep up with what you do and Ill try my best to keep up with your story as it progresses. Thanks for the reading request.
One more thing: On your news feed it says your book is going to be on tv. Is that right? If so ill try and check it out.

Sun, January 13th, 2013 6:37pm


Thank you very much. This is the first time the beginning of any of my novels received so many positive comments. I really nailed it this time. And that you for saying that my novel can be on of the best. That right there give me even more motivation to write and persist. I also think you are going to love Chris's journey through these pages. I plan to get this published one day so I'll keep on swimming. -Dory/Finding Nemo

Sun, January 13th, 2013 10:59am

Matthew D. Hay (Tangible Word)

First off, your reading request was unashamedly obnoxious. I like that. However, if you don't have the writing to back it up, please refrain from being so brash.
Yes, I liked your story, the writing flowed for the most part and your characters were quite likeable. What you need to do, however, is stop telling your readers the story!
Show it, describe it, but don't rely on a million adjectives to do so! For instance, one of your first paragraphs had far too many adjectives, it comes off as awkward and stilted.
Sorry if this criticism sounds rude, I just like to give advice, since I wish people would do that for me, and not give out compliments. Overall, though, I liked your first chapter.
You do have a gift.
Just don't let that stop you from learning and getting better!

Sun, January 13th, 2013 8:58pm


You're right, this isn't my fav critique. I've even thought about deleting it. However "showing" instead of "telling" I do think I do that in my story and I know I "tell" scenes but that is because don't think it is necessary to over-explain everything. Sometimes you just need to get to the point. I learn that in school about the "showing" and "telling" thing. I took the advice and use it but I have my style and my style is a nice balance between the two. But thanks for your opinion.

Fri, January 18th, 2013 9:17am

dramatis personae

So far so good! Check out my story comment and let me know what you think!!!

Sun, January 13th, 2013 11:59pm


This sounds like an amazing story so far! Can not WAIT to read more! Ur a really good writer!

Tue, January 15th, 2013 10:33pm


So glad you recommended this, i can't wait to read more!

Wed, January 16th, 2013 5:55am


so far I love it, you're a good writer

Wed, January 16th, 2013 6:34pm


thankies :D

Wed, January 16th, 2013 2:00pm


I liked the story, I can´t deny that...I kind of agree with Tangible Word on the "Show, don´t tell" part. Since you expect to improve and make your novel better every time, it is good to take helpful critique...Only way to grow, yes? Try to keep the interest without giving out so many spoiler alerts...You have a gift, make yourself more mysterious about what´s upcoming...My humble opinion...Keep up the good plot!!
Check out my short story whenever you have the time...Thanks before hand,


Thu, January 17th, 2013 4:06am


And... you have my -LIKE-

Thu, January 17th, 2013 4:07am

W E Wells

I believe you have a very strong start to a great story. I like the way you have your descriptions of what/who is around Chris and what is happening. Very well done. Keep up the good work and I will continue on to see what unfolds. :)

Fri, January 18th, 2013 3:48pm


Thank you so very very much. I truly do appreciate your comment. Writing this story in present tense and in first person is a lot harder than I thought. I will definitely consider this when I write my next story. But anyways, I will do my absolute best to keep the story intriguing and a fulfilling read. There will definitely be some more surprises to come, and an ending that will have you biting your toe nails.

Fri, January 18th, 2013 9:30am

Victoria March

I like it so far, I've only read ch.1. You should start using more contractions, like I'm, she'll, he'd, the writing sounds a little stiff because of that. Also you have a few grammar and spelling errors. I like it though.

Sat, January 19th, 2013 9:48pm


Actually that is the way Chris talks. He speaks in a very proper way. He hardly ever speaks without contraction. There is even a moment in ch 7 when a character mentions in and a moment when Tylin mentions how weird he talks.

Sat, January 19th, 2013 4:32pm

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