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Chapter 1- Night Adventures
You've got my head spinning
Heart beating out of my chest
I'm a sucker for lovers, for lovers
--I Don't Know About You But I Came To Dance, Forever The Sickest Kids
The night was just beginning with the promise of rain lingering in the scent of the crisp air. I was in no hurry to get to my friend Carters house. Even though he was a year younger- and two grades below- me, we had become very close, very quickly. Looking at him, you wouldn’t be able to tell that he was sixteen, he looked so much older. He was tall and lean but, he wasn’t skin and bones. No he had quite a fair amount of muscle on him. And his abs were just yum. He had blonde hair that was shaggy and I loved running my fingers through it. He had different colored eyes. One was a pale green and the other a bright grey. He was incredibly good looking and I was so glad that we were friends. He was popular and nice and everything that I wasn’t. Some days I wondered what stroke of good luck had led me to him. A face flashed in my mind though, reminding me of who it was that introduced us. Skye. The thought brought with it a wave of sadness. My once best friend. Now we barely talked.
I didn’t know what happened with her. Not really. It was like we slowly grew apart. She took all my old friends with her too. But, I had other friends. Skye was pretty and thin and blonde. When she got her perfect boyfriend Matt I was left behind. It hurt a bit but, I was used to it by now. Carter told me that she missed me. The two of them were neighbors and the three of us used to be thick as thieves. I didn’t really believe him though. I’m sure she said it to him but, I don’t think she really meant it. I tried to talk to her but, now I had given up. I mean if she really missed me then she would ask me to hang out or something but, she didn’t. I didn’t tell Carter any of that though. I just told him that maybe we’d be friends again one day. I was doubtful though. I hoped that I didn’t see Skye on my way to Carters. I didn’t even feel like saying hi to her. She made me tired. She was idiotic and selfish and I didn’t have the time for her. I was a little wary of Carter though. Hopefully he wouldn’t talk about his girlfriend Kelsey the whole evening. I mean she was nice enough and everything but, I was sick of her. And I was sick of Carter always bringing her up.
I was walking down the hill to his house when suddenly all the street lights went out leaving the night very dark. It was slightly creepy and I was a little scared. To keep myself busy though I entertained random thoughts putting them together until I thought I had something semi-useful. I liked the way I had put together the words. I was thinking them through my head. ‘It’s funny how these things happen. How in one day a simple realization can change your whole world. How suddenly someone means more to you than they were originally mean to. One chance meeting and then BAM! Everything’s changed. It’s like for your whole life if you’ve been thinking the sky is green but, realize instantly that it’s been blue all along. Sometimes you never figure out your true feelings until it’s ultimately too late. Other times it’s instantaneous like a bush fire. Ignite. People want to go back and change the past so badly sometimes. Of course, that’s impossible. You can’t change the past but, you can change your future. It’s weird how feelings change over time when originally they were meant to be so totally different. People are usually scared. They’re scared that letting their feeling be known that they will ruin everything. It’s a valid fear though because your imagination and the reality of the situation are two very different things. Sometimes though everything works out for the best and you can see the sun shining through the clouds. Love and hope. It’s what makes people risk it all. Sometimes it’s worth the gamble and other times you’re left trying to escape the hole you made. Things change, people change and time heals most wounds.’
I was feeling very proud of myself for coming up with that. It was a perfect description of my emotions and thoughts put into words. I realized with a jolt that I was at the bottom of the hill. The lights were on down here so I started thinking about Carter again naturally. I sighed before texting him that I would be there soon. I was wary and excited at the same time as I rounded into Carters crescent. Maybe tonight I would finally have the courage to tell him how I felt. Most likely I wouldn’t though. I was a coward. I was thinking about a few days ago when he and I had gone to Capital X together. It had been fun and I was relieving the memory of the heat of Carters body against mine. Sometimes it was like he knew how I felt and he was teasing me always sitting so close. Thinking of the contact between him and me always sent shivers shooting up my spine. It was just so unfair sometimes that I always had to fall for the wrong person. Well Carter wasn’t exactly wrong for me but, he had a girlfriend that he adored. Not even I would try to come between them so I was always the good sport when he made me come along with him. Almost everything Carter had given Kelsey had been picked out or approved by me. I helped him make her a build-a-bear that we put in a spider-man outfit. I helped him pick out the white gold heart shaped locket he had given her as an early birthday present. I was sick of it but, I was a masochist so I would never turn him down if he asked me to go shopping with him for her. I loved spending time with him too much. I had stopped now outside his house. It was pretty big and a nice blue color. I loved his house and not just because he lived here. It was nice. I enjoyed his family as well. My thoughts were running all over the place as I waited for Carter to appear. The gate to the back yard opened and suddenly Carter was there. He greeted me with a hug.
“It’s good to see you again Aurora Night.” His musical bass voice rasped.
I loved Carters voice. It was deep and rough. Scratchy. He had a bit of a Texan accent as well. It always gave me Goosebumps when I thought about him whispering to me seductively. I was a little late to answer him though but, he didn’t notice or he just didn’t comment on it.
“We just saw each other the other day, Carter.” I said a little breathlessly.
“But, it’s been entirely too long. I missed you.” He whispered mockingly.
“Wow you sure are clingy then Mr. Benjiman. It’s been what two, three days?” I teased.
He laughed and swung an arm casually around my shoulders.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked me. The hint of a laugh still in his voice.
“Of course.”
We strolled off into the night towards the direction of a park. It was one me and Carter went to often. It was close to his house maybe a 10 minute walk. I shrugged Carters arms off me and ran through the field. I loved running in the dark. I looked up at the stars and spun myself around in a circle. I got so dizzy that I ended up collapsing in the grass. I looked around from my position on the ground to see Carter in the distance doubled over in laughter. I just shook my head and lay contently on the ground. I noticed as Carter began walking towards me that it had begun to rain. It was just a light, soft drizzle but, I appreciated it. It felt nice when combined with the heat of the summer air. I was still lying in the grass staring at the pretty stars when Carter joined me.
“You know Miss Night; you shouldn’t spin yourself around like that. You’re already clumsy enough as it is you, could fall and hurt yourself.” He began sternly.
“Mmm.” I mumbled back. I wasn’t really paying much attention to Carter at the moment. I was too captivated by the stars. I always kind of longed to be one. I wasn’t sure why but, the stars were part of the reason I loved the night so much.
I started paying attention though when Carter dropped to the ground beside me stretching himself out. He was close and soon his mouth was by my ear. I shivered lightly when his hot breath blew across my face. He was so close that his lips moved against my skin lightly. It took everything I had not to roll over and pounce on him.
“We shouldn’t be lying on the ground. It’s dirty and we could get sick since it’s raining after all.” His voice whispered in my ear.
“I suppose you are right but, I just love looking at the starts so damn much.” I said as I turned to face him.
“Silly Ro. You can look at the stars every night. They won’t ever go away and even if you can’t see them sometimes they’re still there.” Carter said smugly his breath tickling me.
“I know that but, I still like looking at them. And they’re even more beautiful when it’s raining.” I said loudly getting up.
I looked down at Carter and he was looking up at me imploringly. His beauty hit me like a ton of bricks and left me breathless. How would I ever get used to him? I wanted to shout that he was more beautiful to me than the stars were but, I kept my mouth closed and offered him a hand instead. I pulled him up quickly but I lost my balance and fell into his hard chest. I almost knocked us both over stupid, clumsy me.
“Careful there, Ro. We just got off the ground; we don’t need to go back down there.” His voice rumbled in my ear sending thrills through my body.
I blushed mortification and just nodded dumbly. We continued on our way towards the playground in silence. I was busy thinking and Carter was busy texting someone. Most likely Kelsey. My suspicions were confirmed as we neared.
“Kelsey has an audition for some commercial tomorrow.” He began.
Oh great more about Kelsey the wonder girlfriend. She was rich and had an agent for acting. She was a little bit taller than I was with ever-changing hairstyles. Right now it was long and sky blue. She was thin in the extreme and very fashionable. She had big silver eyes and I had to admit that she was very pretty. I struggled for a normal tone as I answered him.
“Oh what’s she auditioning for this time?” I asked. I didn’t really care but, I liked hearing him talk.
“I don’t know. I don’t even think she really knows her agent just tells her when she has an audition.”
“Huh. Well hopefully she gets something fun.” I said effectively ending this topic.
I saw the saucer swings in the park and I sprinted towards them. I absolutely loved saucer swings even though I didn’t know why. I quickly hopped in the middle one crossing my legs. Carter sat in one to my right iphone in hand. Still texting his stupid girlfriend. God, did everything have to involve her. This was Carter and Ro time after all and I wished he wouldn’t ruin it by constantly bringing her up. I started glumly in the distance as silence settled over us. I was thinking about another time a few years before when I had come here with Carter. I had just started grade ten and Benji grade eight. We called each other Batman and Robin then. I naturally was batman and Carter was Robin. We had been on another night time adventure only we weren’t out as late. It was only maybe 10:30. I was wearing Carters soccer jacket because I had left my own at Skye’s house. We were just talking and laughing. We’d only known each other for about 3 months at the time but, already we were extremely close. We were talking pictures and sitting on the cement when I had the strong desire to just kiss him. I didn’t act on it because back then the age and grade difference had mattered to me. So in the end I just went home and forgot all about it. Months later though Carter told me that he wanted to kiss me that night too. I was surprised but he was dating Kelsey already and I was with Jesse. Kelsey and Carter had an on again, off again relationship. I didn’t really realize that I had feeling for him other than friendship though. No my feelings were a more recent realization. Carters voice brought me out of my thoughts as he asked me a question.
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do Oreo?” his voice was soft.
“I don’t know. Usually when I want to do something I just go and do it.” I answered truthfully.
I thought about something I’ve always wanted to do and answered the question better.
‘I’ve always wanted to fly. Not like in a plane or anything but, actually fly as if I had wings or something.”
“Something that isn’t impossible.” He mocked.
“Hey you didn’t say it had to be possible just something that I’ve always wanted to do. But, I guess we could go with I’ve always wanted to try Shrooms or LSD.” I said wondering if I should’ve kept that to myself.
“Why would you even want to try those things Ro? They’re just stupid. Sometimes I wonder why you do the things you do. I know you’re self-destructive but, you could really end up getting hurt. You’ve done ecstasy, oxycontin and you smoke pot. You’ve slit your wrists and other parts of your body. Why are you like this sometimes? Wait don’t answer. I already know. It’s because of him. I can’t believe you still think about him.” Carter said scornfully.
I flinched back at the venom in his voice. He usually wasn’t so mean when he spoke about things I’ve done. I can’t believe he brought Jesse up though. He knew I hated talking about it even now.
“I don’t want to do shrooms or LSD because of him. I want to do them because I heard they were fun! I can’t believe you sometimes. I’m never going to not be able to think about him. He’s the start of my nightmares all the time as you very well know. If you’re going to be such a dick then I might as well go home. I don’t need this shit.” I seethed while trying to hold back tears.
He looked at me in shock. Usually if people upset me I just kept it to myself instead of calling them out. I wasn’t one for drama. If Carter was going to be an assnut though well then he could just go fuck him self. I didn’t want to hear him say the things that I knew were true. I was pathetic and useless. I was also mad though. He knew Jesse was a subject that was off limits. Just his name sent waves of fear, hurt and anger through me. I hoped I didn’t start cutting again. My anger made me a bitch though and so I lashed out at Carter who was still looking at me in surprise.
“Take a picture, it lasts longer Benji.” I whispered bitterly my mouth twisting unpleasantly as I struggled to spit the words out.
I watched as hurt crossed his face. I smiled cruelly in satisfaction at his pain. He deserved to hurt for hurting me. Guilt crept in though but, it was too late to take the words back. They were already out there.
“Awe don’t be like that Oreo. You know I was just being an asshole for no reason. I’m sorry. Don’t leave yet. How bout we go to McDonalds and I’ll buy you some nuggets?” he suggested temptingly.
The bastard knew I loved McDonalds and their chicken nuggets. They were just so damn good and those fries. It was like a little slice of heaven. I grudgingly agreed and Carter and I set off towards McDonalds. It would have been easier to drive but, I liked walking with Carter. It meant more time with him even if he was texting Kelsey constantly. The rain started to come down faster and harder though and the wind picked up a bit. I was glad I had on a sweater and pants. Maybe we should’ve driven though. It was dark as we walked through the city. I turned my cell phone on and started texting Mina. It was late out but, I knew she’d be up. She had Samantha over so I didn’t talk to her for too long.
The moon was bright as we approached a dark path. There were trees around so it was even darker. I stalked into the darkness and Carter followed beside me. I began to hum quietly along to Starstruckk by 3OH!3 as it started playing on my ipod. Benji laughed quietly beside me. He introduced the song to me when we were younger. It was still a favorite of mine. The trees thinned quickly and soon we were walking up a hill. As we were walking Carter decided to talk to me again.
“Me and Kelsey haven’t kissed in so long. It’s starting to piss us both off.” He started off.
“Oh well why not?” I answered him hoping he’d catch the sarcasm. He didn’t.
“Well we haven’t had anytime to ourselves really and we don’t like kissing in public.” He stated.
“Why don’t you guys make plans then that involve the two of you?” I asked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“We did. This Saturday we’re hanging out. So it’ll be two horny children all alone.” He laughed.
“That’s lovely. I don’t need a mental picture Benji.” I said acidly.
“I thought you liked stuff like that.” He answered me.
I looked at him in shock.
“You think that I enjoy horny children!?” When he just nodded I continued lustily. “Well I don’t like horny children but, horny older guys I do enjoy.”
He laughed at that but there was something off about it. Just like his expression. It was guarded. I decided to try and get Carter to tell me something that he always refused to tell me.
“So Benji old boy, are you going to tell me how far you’ve gone yet?”
“Nope.” He said popping the ‘p’.
“Awe why not. I tell you everything! I even told you about the time with the whipped cream and chains. And still you won’t even tell me if you’ve gone farther than making out. I can’t believe you sometimes.” I whined.
We told each other everything but, he wouldn’t tell me how far he’d gone. It was starting to piss me off to no end. So much for being besties. I felt a scowl on my face.
“Ro, it’s not important.”
“Fine.” I huffed and stomped off to where McDonalds was.
We had to walk through the drive-thru which was something I always enjoyed. Carter ordered for me and when it arrived we went in sat in a bus shelter thing. You know those plastic things with the little bench in them. I ate my nuggets in silence. I was still a little hurt about Carter not telling me. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me. Why the reluctance? Carter was looking at me with a smile on his face while he ate his big mac. I frowned at him and looked away while I munched on a fry. Carter noticing my mood leaned in close to me and wrapped his long arms around my shoulders. He rested his head on one shoulder. His hair tickled me and my breathing sped up. I tried to wriggle free but, he just held on tighter. It was no use, he was too strong. I was trapped. I gave up and he started to speak.
“Oreo, don’t be mad at me. I know we tell each other everything but, this isn’t important.” He started. I grimaced at the use of my nickname that Matt had given me.
I just munched on another fry and tried to ignore him but, it was really hard as he was wrapped around me with his lips by my neck.
“Awe c’mon. You’re being irrational here.” He whispered with his famous puppy dog eyes. I had practice in resisting though.
“No I’m not. We tell each other everything Benji and you won’t tell me this. I know maybe I’m overreacting a little bit but, we’re supposed to be best friends. I tell you whatever you want.” I said angrily.
“Darlin’ we are best friends. And I know you tell me everything but, I’m sure you have some stuff you keep from me. Besides, what if I promise to tell you one day. Maybe not today or the next but, someday I’ll let you know.” His southern accent was more pronounced when he was upset.
The situation with my body was about to get out of hand. I loved when he called me darling with that cute accent of his. The proximity of his body though combined with his raspy husky voice was going to make me do something I’d regret. My pupils had dilated and my breath came shuddering out. This was bad.
“Fine, Carter. I don’t keep anything from you but, if you promise to tell me sometime then I guess I could stop being mad at you.” I said praying he wouldn’t hear the lust in my voice. He didn’t.
He exhaled softly against my skin and I almost moaned. God damn it. I hoped he would let go at the same time that I wished he would hold on to me forever. I really hated myself sometimes. I made an excuse about wanting to finish my food and gently shrugged his arms off. He removed his arms and head from my body slowly. He seemed almost reluctant but, that was impossible. It’s not like he cared that much about holding me. We finished eating in comfortable silence and my body calmed down. We started on our way back but, this time we took a different way that led us through more dark paths. No hills though. I decided to tell Carter about my plans for when after I graduated. I had talked about them with him on an occasion but, now I was pretty sure about what I was going to do.
“So Benji I have finalized my plan for what I’m going to do after high school.” I said excitedly.
“Oh and what are you going to do?” he asked me. He didn’t sound very enthused.
“Well, first Braden, Rachel and I are going to go to New York for a few weeks. Everything is being paid for by Rachel and Braden’s rich uncle Carl. Man is he ever loaded. He’s a little creepy but, generally okay. Plus he buys me everything.” I began.
I had a flashback of the time that I became a part of the Night family. My parents had died in a car accident and I had no where to go. I had no other family left alive. My best friend Rachel though asked her dad, Marcus if I could live with them. He agreed and everything was taken care of. Marcus though was depressed. His wife had died when Braden and Rachel were younger. They were very rich and it was nice there. I missed my parents a bit but, it was okay. We had all moved out here about 8 years ago. Me and Rachel had stopped being close for awhile too but, we had started to become better friends again now that I didn’t hang out with Skye so much. I came back to the present and finished telling Carter my plans.
“After that, I’m going on a visit to Australia for a bit. I want to see if it’s the right place to live. If it is then I’m going to get a job. I’ve always wanted to be a black jack dealer so that’s probably what I’ll do. I know I’m loaded and everything but, I don’t want my adoptive family to have to pay for everything. It will be nice to be a bit independent. After about a year I’ll either decide to go to university or I’ll just move to Aussie country with Rachel and Braden. You see, they want to live out there too. That’s pretty much it.” I finished out of breath from talking so much.
“Sounds like a good plan but, I think you haven’t figured everything out.” Carter said mockingly.
“Well it will be two years before I move away so that means I can watch you graduate and everything. Unless you don’t want me there anymore. Maybe we won’t even be friends anymore by then. Who knows?” I said sadly.
“I’m sure we’ll still be friends and I’d be honored to have you at my grad. If I’m not dating anyone then you can be my date.” He said.
“Alright. Wanna be my date for grad? I mean if no one asks me or anything?” I asked hopefully.
“Of course, Oreo.”
It started to rain more. I wasn’t too happy. I didn’t like being extremely wet. The good thing was though that we were almost at Carters house. I felt like watching a movie before I made my way home. Like he was reading my mind, Carter asked me to stay and watch The Watchmen. I agreed excitedly. I loved that movie. We climbed up his trellis and onto his roof quickly. We were stealthy as we crept over the shingles and slid through the window and into his bedroom. I laid down in his bed quickly pulling the covers over me. Carter went to go to the bathroom. He came back into the room and pulled on his pajamas. I tried not to look but, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen him changing before. He was pale and lean. His muscles were flexing as he pulled on his pants and then his shirt. I stared at the long scar that stretched from the underneath of his ribs and into his boxers. It was lighter than the rest of him. I remembered how he got it. He was protecting me. I longed to lick the scar. I was sad that he had it but, pleased that I had also gotten one the same night. Mine wasn’t as big and it was on my lower back. It wasn’t as noticeable as Carters was. Carter had gotten more than the big scar though. His chest was flecked with smaller marks as was his back. I glanced away from Carter before he could catch my staring. He hopped into bed beside ma and pulled my close. I rested my head on his shoulder as he started the movie. I was trembling though. The memory of that night were Carter and I had got our scars still gave me nightmares. My best friend and boyfriend at the time had given them to us. Jesse.
I had become friends with Jesse when I first moved here. We quickly became inseparable. We were closer than Carter and I are. We had no secrets and knew every little detail about each other. Jesse was beautiful with bright green eyes. They looked like lime popsicles. He had copperish hair that was always a mess but, it just added to his charm. He was tall and lanky and perfect. Even his attitude was perfect. He played the piano expertly and he was going to become a doctor. He was brilliant and he was my best fiend. After a few years we had dated. Everything was perfect for a few years until, I found out that he had been cheating on me with someone. I later realized that the girl he had been cheating on me with was Millie. A gorgeous strawberry blonde with huge boobs. Seriously these things could have there own gravitational pull. I was furious with him but, I still loved him so much. I ended up breaking up with him though and I refused to talk to him for a year. Eventually though I started to talk to him again. I thought that maybe we could become best friends again. We did because we were Jesse and Ro, Best friends for life. Of course it was natural when we started developing feelings again for each other and once again we became more than friends. This time though there was no cheating on me but, towards the end of grade ten he became different. He was meaner and tended to lash out at me for no reason. One time I called him to ask if he wanted to do anything and he went psycho on me. He told me that I was a whore and that I destroyed the life of everyone around me. I was useless. I was only good for one thing and I still hadn’t given it to him. Sex. He wanted to have sex with me. I thought it was a reasonable request but, I still wasn’t ready. He called me a prude and told me that he’d be better off with out me. I hung up in tears. I was hysterical and I refused to talk to anyone. Carter had to come over one day and he knocked some sense into me. I decided to stop hiding in my room. Jesse called me and apologized a few days later for his behavior. Like the fool I was I accepted him back into my life. He still wasn’t as nice as he used to be but, I got used to his odd cruelty. I would love him forever. Even if he was an abusive bastard I’d still stick with him. He was my everything. I tried to do other things for him that wouldn’t involve sex. One time I stripped off his clothes and handcuffed him to his bed. I blindfolded him and put on a dominatrix outfit. I then covered him in whipped cream and proceeded to lick it off him. Another time I used a whip. I thought things were good. I started to drink and do drugs more often. Jesse came over to my house almost every night and we would get high or drink together.
On one night I got shit faced and I couldn’t remember anything. Jesse told me that we had sex that night. I was shocked and upset that I couldn’t remember my first time. I was so upset that I wouldn’t sleep with him again. After a few weeks of trying to get me to have sex with him Jesse flew into one of his rages. He told me that he had lied about us having sex because he thought that if I believed that I had already done it then I would do it again. But, he was wrong. I was nothing but a useless skank to him and he deserved better. I kicked him out of my house for that and told him not to come back. About a week later he arrived at more door one night. He was carrying some flowers. As soon as he saw me he crushed his lips to mine and told me how sorry he was and how much he loved me. I told him to get the fuck out of my house and I threw a bowl at him. He dodged it and it shattered against the wall. He left then after promising me that this wasn’t over. I told him that it was. I ran to my room and sobbed on my bed. I hated myself at that moment. I hated that I loved him and I hated what he had become. So thinking that it was my fault I started to slit my wrists and across my ribs and the inside of my thighs. I was scarred on the inside so why not show it on the outside. I was depressed and not Carter, Ray or Skye could help me.
A few weeks after the incident at my house with Jesse, I finally left my house and went shopping. It was getting late when I finally decided to go home. The parking lot was empty as I crossed and I was on the phone with Carter when I felt someone grab me from behind. I shrieked and dropped the phone but, it was still on. I was spun around was met with Jesses face. He looked terrible and I was afraid of him. He noted this and laughed cruelly.
“E-e-Jesse?” I managed to stutter out.
“Yes Ro?” He said coldly.
“What do you want?’” I asked.
‘That’s all I get? Not even a ‘it’s nice to see you’ or a ‘how are you doing.’ Well I’ll answer you’re question but, you already know the answer. What I want is you Ro dear. You’re always the only thing I ever want.” I hissed.
I started to back away but, he caught me. I screamed his name and yelled for help but, no one heard me. He threw me in my own car and started to drive away. I prayed that he would take me to his house and not some place far away where no one could find me. It looked like my prayers were answered because soon we were pulling into his driveway. I exhaled in relief but my breathing was cut short as I noticed the look on his face. He was looking at me in disgust and hate. My one thought was if looks could kill before I blacked out.
When I awoke I noticed that I was in Jesses room on his bed. His parents must be out. Jesse was sitting beside me looking down at me. When he saw that I was awake his face twisted grotesquely.
“Ahh I see you’re finally awake. Now we can get down to business.” He sneered. I shrunk back in fear.
“W-w-what do you mean?”
“Well Ro tonight is the night where you and I finally have sex for the first time. I hope you go along with it. I wouldn’t want to have to tie you up. It would be more pleasurable for you if you are agreeing.” He said softly. The terrible look was still on his face though.
“Oh no Jesse I really couldn’t.”
“Yes you could Ro. Well you’ll have to because one way or another I’ll get what I want.” His voice was cold and as he brushed his hand across my cheek it took everything I had not to flinch away.
I came up with the plan that if I pretended to want this then maybe he would let his guard down and I would be able to escape. I saw my eyes on his bedside table. I just had to make sure that I could play along well enough.
“Alright, you were right. I want this more than anything. I refused you because I was afraid of being called a slut and because I was afraid that once we had sex you would leave me.” I whispered breathlessly. He seemed to believe me and his feature softened slightly.
“You know you really hurt my feelings love but, we can get over it.” He said smiling a crooked smile that once I loved and now only made me feel sick.
“I’m glad.” I responded as I stretched up to kiss him.
He responded to me soon his fingers were threaded through my hair. He pushed me back onto the bed and hovered over me. He slowly pulled my top off and he gripped my breasts so tight that it hurt. I whimpered in pain. He pulled his own shirt off and brought his lips back to mine. My fingers dug into his back as his hands squeezed my hips. He kissed down my jaw and bit down on my neck. It wasn’t exactly a gentle bite and I hissed. He started to undo my pants and then pulled them down. He pushed my panties aside and roughly thrust his fingers into my. I gasped loudly.
“Why aren’t you wet yet dear?” he hissed in my ear. He ran his teeth down my ear and bit on the lobe. I arched up against him in pain but, he thought it was in pleasure.
He pumped his fingers in and out of me painfully. I screamed and scratched along his back with my nails. He moved his mouth to my breasts and bit my right nipple through my bra’s thin material. Pain. I was in pain. I noticed my chance though and I moved one hand off his back and grabbed the metal lamp that won on his bedside table. I moaned in pretense like I was enjoying his finger inside me. I felt him smile against my breasts and then I brought the lamp down on his head as hard as I could. He groaned and I pushed him off me as fast as I could. I grabbed my car keys and ran. His house was big though and Jesses room was on the top floor. I left my clothes in his room. I sped down the first flight of stairs and I heard him coming after me. The lamp had not knocked him out as I had hoped. I tripped on the hall way and slid across the floor where I slammed into the wall painfully. I saw black spots dance across my vision and I heard Jesses musical voice calling for me. I tried to get up but, I hurt everywhere.
“Rrrooo, Where are you? Rooo.” He called. I tried to breathe evenly as I slowly started to crawl across the floor to the next flight of stairs. He spotted me though as he came into my line of vision. I saw that he had a knife. A big long hunting knife. I started to cry.
“Ah there you are. You know that wasn’t very nice of you. I think it might leave a bruise.” He said nastily as he crouched down beside me.
I just stared up at him with tears sliding down my cheeks.
“You know you’re so lovely when you cry. You should do it more often. But, do you know what I like better than you crying. I like it better when you scream. So scream for me Ro and then we can get back to where we left off.”
I refused to scream for him and then He brought the knife up close to his face and he kissed it gently. I knew what was going to happen.
“No! D-don’t do this. Please.” I croaked out. Tears coming faster.
He ignored me and just whispered once more ‘Scream’. And when he brought the knife down and into my back I did. I screamed loudly and painfully trying to get away from him as blood poured onto the floor. I prayed that I would black out. Anything to escape the situation. I screamed and screamed and screamed even as he ripped the knife free from my body.
“Ahh beautiful, tragic, innocent Ro. Don’t you know dear it’s just you and me and no one is here to hear you scream. Well except for you but, soon I’ll have you withering and screaming in pleasure and then when I’m done I’ll kill you.” He whispered coldly.
I saw it in his eyes. He was speaking the truth. He would rape me and then murder me. I just screamed louder and tried unsuccessfully to get away. He grabbed my neck in his hands and rolled me onto my back. I heard him whisper in my ear.
“Keep screaming if you want but, there’s no one here to help.”
He was wrong though. Far away in a parking lot of a mall there was a cell phone on the ground. The call had ended long ago but, before it had the person on the other end heard a scream and a name: Jesse. To any other person this would probably mean nothing but, to Carter it meant everything.
Carter burst into the house and ran up the stairs. He didn’t even know if she’d be here. He wasn’t sure what to expect if they were here but, he definitely didn’t expect the sight that met his eyes. He saw his best friend Ro Night lying in a pool of her own blood, screaming with tears streaming down her face. He saw Jesse bending over here kissing her chest and down her stomach. He saw the bloody knife lying on the ground beside them. Jesse saw Carter just as Carter lunged for the weapon. Jesse was too fast though and he got the knife first.
Just as Carter reached him Jesse slashed down but, not towards me. Instead he slashed a deep long gash down Carters stomach. Blood poured all over, spilling onto the floor. Carter fell to his knees and received more slashes to the chest. These weren’t so bad though but, still he fell over right next to me. He landed on his stomach and Jesse gave him a few more cuts along his back for good measure before dropping the knife and turning his attention back to me. I had finally stopped screaming and was staring at Carter in shock. His eyes were glazing over but, he was still breathing. I looked back up at Jesse as he once again proceeded to rape me. I was disgusted. There was blood everywhere. It was like a horror film and still he wanted to have sex with me, the girl bleeding on the floor. I saw the knife and grabbed it tightly. I looked into Jesses eyes. They were unfocused and he was breathing heavily. I smiled at him and drove the knife into his neck. More blood. Everything was red. The corpse of the person who once held my heart fell on top of me. I pushed it off and forced my limbs to work. I staggered off the ground and stumbled to where the closest phone was. I collapsed against the wall sliding down and leaving a trail of blood. I dialed 911 and when a girl’s voice answered asking me what the emergency was I closed me eyes.
“Just help me please.” I whispered.
“What’s the address?” she asked.
“It’s-“ I started to say before I couldn’t hold back the darkness any longer. I let it drag me down hoping that when I woke it would all just be a bad dream.
I woke up in the hospital. I had machines hooked up to me and I ached all over. I looked around and realized that Carter was in the bed next to mine. He looked so pale and fragile. I thought maybe he’d died. That thought made my heart start to pound erratically until I noticed the beeping of a heart monitor. Carter was okay. His heart rate was slow and weak but, he was okay. I fell back asleep.
They told me later that I had killed Jesse. It was in self defense though and I wouldn’t have to go to court. They only thing I could think of though was Carter almost died trying to save me. It was then that I realized that I was in love with him. I knew that he wasn’t anything like Jesse and so I could still hang around him without being scared. He had Kelsey though. Carter helped more than anything or anyone. He helped me learn to trust people again. I hadn’t had a single relationship with anyone though since Jesse. It had only been a bit longer than a year though since that night. I had time.
I didn’t realize that I had started crying and that Carter was holding me and rocking me back and forth gently as he tried to calm me down. My tears were silent as they streamed down my face and I buried my face into Carters chest. Thinking about it brought back all the pain and terror. Like I told Carter I would never be able to forget about that evening. I had nightmares about it almost every night. At least I had stopped screaming out loud when I had them.
“Shhh Ro. It’s okay. He’s gone now. He can’t ever hurt you or anyone else again.” Carter mumbled into my hair as he rubbed my back soothingly.
I don’t know how long I cried for but, eventually I fell asleep curled up against Carter.
Well I'm crying out, wash my hands these bloody hands Lord,
Open my mouth and I'll sing,
I'm falling more in love with every single word I withhold
I'm falling more in love with every single word you say
I'm falling head over heels for you.
-My Beautiful Rescue This Providence

Submitted: July 06, 2010

© Copyright 2022 rosesfade. All rights reserved.


Add Your Comments:



ok wow the part with jesse is very detailed! um prob a bit violent for my liking but i absolutely love the rest of it i like how close you have made them already. Are you aiming to get this published one day?

Mon, July 12th, 2010 4:02am


Yeah it is very violent but it's the only super violent part in the story. And yeah I hope to get it published one day but first I have to finish writing it.

Wed, July 14th, 2010 8:38am

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