Today was a day of ups and downs once again. I had a lovely meeting with three sisters called Isabel, Eman and Farhana - plus one other sister whose name I've forgotten (honestly, I'm awful with this!) and it was a great chance to meet other sisters and talk about some things that have been bothering me. Plus it meant I could have a soya hot chocolate courtesy of Café Direct! Always a good thing in my book.
Sadly, I had to see a doctor today with suspected anaemia. My diet's been pretty poor in terms of iron, but I didn't think it was that bad until today when I was so tired I could barely get out of bed. I eventually admitted that I have a problem and it needs sorting, but it's taken almost two months for me to admit how bad it's got. I don't like admitting that I'm unwell because I worry about how I'll be perceived - will people think I'm just out for special treatment, will people bitch about me behind my back ... silly things that just build and build until eventually it's too much for me to handle and I break. Not a wonderful way of living life, but it's how I was raised - you don't admit you're ill unless you're nearly dead.
I'm having a blood test tomorrow to confirm the initial diagnosis, and if I do have anaemia then I will need to get treatment and have informed the university of this. I just hope that they are accepting of the situation and don't expect me to turn into Superwoman all over again! Sometimes I think lecturers expect too much of their students and don't really think about how far the student can go in terms of endurance. If I'm honest, I've been having problems with tiredness for over two years now, but I just didn't want to admit it. I'm not the kind of person to admit that they have problems, and when I do it usually ends up being easy to fix!
The good thing is that I am meeting a lot of wonderful sisters and am finally starting to feel like I can get on with women (hurrah!). It's a great feeling to have, and I'm really thankful for all of them. They are truly lovely people, and I thank Allah for bringing them into my life. Insha'Allah there will be many more times to meet sisters from all over the world.
Today is also special for a personal reason - Jonathan and I only have 6 months to wait until our wedding!!! Alhamdulillah!
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