Trying to hide my sadness is getting harder and harder. I’m trying to just throw myself into my job but I’m not having any luck. I just keep thinking about her. I can’t get her out of my head.
Jeremy has already asked me if I wanted to talk but I turned him down. It literally feels like she ripped my heart out of my chest. I have this physical ache where my heart is. This is what it feels like to be truly heart broken.
I really need to finish cleaning up this kitchen but I have no effort left. I have no energy. It’s like she took everything out of me. She took everything I had left.
“Richie?” I look up and find my Mom. What is she doing here? God, Callie didn’t tell her did she?
“Hi Mom.” I look away from her. I don’t want her to see how heartbroken I am.
“Are you okay?” She asks and I don’t answer. I start to scrub the table in front of me and ignore that she’s even standing there. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. There’s nothing left to say. “I talked to your sister.” She says and I look up at her.
“She told you didn’t she?” My Mom nods and walks over to me.
“She told me you were really upset.” She says. “What’s going on?” I ignore her question and go back to scrubbing the table. I find myself scrubbing it with all my strength. She grabs one of my hands and I look up at her.
“I met a girl.” I say. I pause.
“I’m in love with her.”
“Then what’s the problem?” She asks. I feel tears start to form in my eyes.
“She dumped me.” We pause and my Mom just looks at me.
“I’ve never seen you so heartbroken.” She says.
“Like I said, I’m in love with her.” I again pause. “You know she’s funny and insecure and she has no idea how beautiful she is. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. She’s everything I didn’t know I needed.”
“What’s her name?” She asks. Why does that matter? We aren’t together anymore. She doesn’t want to be with me.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I need to know the name of the girl my son is in love with.” She says. “I’d also like to see a picture.”
“Her name’s Laina.” I say while pulling my phone out of my pocket. I have one picture of her. I pull it up on my phone. “This is her.” I say while handing the phone to my mom.
“She’s beautiful.” She says.
“She doesn’t think so.” My Mom smiles and hands the phone back to me. I shove it back into my pocket.
“What do you think?”
“I think she’s the one.” I say. “She’s the love of my life, my soul mate.” I used to think that Tiffany was my one, even after we got divorced. I always thought that I screwed it up but then I met Laina and I realized Tiffany was never the one, Laina is.
“Does she love you?” I know that Laina has fallen in love with me to but she refuses to let herself actually love me. I nod.
“Yeah.” I say. “She does.”
“Then I think you should give her some time. If she loves you she’ll come back.” I don’t know if I can handle waiting any longer.
“I don’t know if I can wait.”
“If you truly love her, then she’s worth waiting for.” She says. “She’ll come back. Just be patient.” I grab onto my Mom and hug her.
“How do you always know what to say?” She laughs. We break from the hug and she looks at me. “It hurts like hell.” I say.
“I know.” She says. “I felt the same way when your Dad died but the difference is she can always come back and I have a feeling she will.”
© Copyright 2016 Ryin Kelsin. All rights reserved.