Into The pride

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Into the pride

To die is one thing, but to live and stay away from the ones you love is what makes all the suffering worse; it is like being alive, deep inside death itself.

The Dream Makers LLC
By: Sam Darwish

Chapter 1 (v.1) - Into The pride

Submitted: July 26, 2013

Reads: 306

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Submitted: July 26, 2013




Into the pride


To die is one thing, but to live and stay away from the ones you love is what makes all the suffering worse; it is like being alive, deep inside death itself.










The Dream Makers LLC

By: Sam Darwish








Chapter One; the Return



My name is Sam Kumran and this is neither the start nor the end of my story.  Where accepting death was not enough to end my sufferings, it also brought more suffering.

My story is not your typical bedtime story, though I don’t think I ever had a life that could be mistaken for a normal life in any way, but the truth is; I now know a lot more than most humans alive and maybe even the dead too.  Someone would say, hold on a minute, you cannot count dead people for they already dead, and to answer my friends here, you do not want to know and trust me, you do not want to know.

Ten years ago, I was a very normal person living like any other young American, (well, maybe not like young people) but I was (and I guess I still am a young American) that enjoyed watching SCI-FI and had his dreams about girls and many other things, until the day I met Jim.

Yep, I once made it my job to blame him for my fuckups because it is the way mankind are, we do not accept responsibility for our actions and wish always to move the blame on to someone else other than ourselves, because we are so damn great or simply because we are sons of bitches.  However, we are here today and Jim past away last year after his body could not go through the chemotherapy and had a heart failure.  I learned all this information last month after my disappearance that lasted three years, from early April 2008 when the airplane I took back from Israel to America crashed in the middle of nowhere and I almost lost my life along with the other passengers.  I now believe that my task is not over yet and more things need to be done, but the question is how and where to start.

My beloved wife (ex wife) got tired of waiting for her dead husband after 18 months, finally got married to a nice psychiatric doctor who had  showed interest in her from the second he saw her, while helping her through the nerve breakdown that happened the day she learned about the crash that I supposedly died in.  I did not make it hard on her knowing that she would leave her husband and now the father of her two twins to live with me.  I knew Sara would do anything to be with me but I could not do that to her and I had to lie.  I had to tell her that I was in a relationship with someone but she smiled letting me know that she understood what I was doing.  Sara was not only smart, she was super smart and if I was not mistaken, she was the smartest woman I ever met.

Sara explained that I would have the right to visit our daughter any given time I felt like it and to know that she would always be there for me.  It was awkward even to think about, the woman you love, your wife and the mother of your only child, with another man, sleeping and kissing and doing all the things you once did with her, but still.  She is asking you to be around and learn how to live with this shit, not mentioning the complications my little baby Mary is now facing, and how could a child this young understand this crap when I am her father and I cannot even understand it myself. I could not make myself stay and wait for my daughter to come home, I simply left.

After the airplane crashed in the Indian Ocean, I was rescued by some Natives and I had lost my memory at the crash.  That made this people thinks that I was an angler or someone like that.  Someone from one of the close by islands and that was the reason they thought my language was one of those native tongues and they did not make any efforts to go behind that far.

After thirty three months of memory loss, one day I woke up a different man, remembering my old life and how I ended up in a place like that, and immediately, I put together the plans to go back home to my wife and daughter.  I later learned that I was the only survivor to from flight 182 where it was reported that there were no survivors before I corrected them.  Who really knows whether or not there were other people like myself?  Someone who had lost their memory and was living a new life with people who loved them, who had changed who they were.

I did not know what else to do with my life. I mean I had no job, no home and no business and no future.  Therefore, it was like a challenging quiz that I was in the middle of.  However,  as usual, my sweet Sara saved me again and told me that our real-estate business was making millions of dollars and that she had kept everything the way I had it before my accident, even keeping the business license as it was.  She still kept them in my name and kept on sending my mother five grand every month as if I was there and that will always keep reminding me why I loved Sara, even though I had to accept her happiness with another man.

I am back now and there is no need to keep on lying to myself.  I fucked up and it was not her responsibility and if it was someone other than Sara, she most likely would not have waited that long to remarry. But she knew what was best for her child and lived by it.  If anyone was to be blame for leaving, it was I and not they.  I left my family when I decided that I must do that last job when I should have said no and asked them to send someone else.  I honestly do not know if I killed that boy, and I’m not sure if I wanted to know anything about it.  All I know today is that I need to live and do everything I could to be a good father for my angel Mary.

My schedule was very easy and simple; I needed to visit my mother for her to believe that I was okay, she kept telling me how much I needed her cooking to regain my strength after all what I been through.  I knew she would not be able to come and visit me due to her medical condition or she would have had been her the first day I was rescued.  My mother and I had this strange relationship, for we do not have to call each other to know if I was okay or not. She always felt my sickness and pains even when I was across the world, and my mother was the only person to refuse to believe I was dead when the plane crash happened.  She was the only one to know I was coming back, but everyone thought she was crazy, an old woman who had lost her mind after losing her oldest son, but she had proven everyone wrong after my return.  My mother refused to wear black or even to attend my fancy funeral.  Dead I was though the second I was away from my wife and child, although they were my only reason for life.

Mr. Barrington, known to me in my previous life as Mr. X, appeared from nowhere, and if it were not for knowing better, I would have said, “His appearance now is preplanned.”  We talked for some time before he asked me if I had any idea about his strange visit and why he dropped by.  I told him that I had no clue as to what was the reason but I added that it was most likely that they had a new job for me.

Mr. Barrington did not smile and looked me straight in the eyes saying, “Part of that is correct and the other part is a lot harder to explain here, would you accompany me to Jim’s old house please?”

“Did you say Jim’s house?  But I thought Jim died last year and his house was sold by his wife”. However, I began to worry about what I was going to learn, like that Jim’s death was fake and that Mr. Barrington was about to tell me all this Antichrist crap again.

“Jim is dead alright” Mr. Barrington said, “but things are more complicated than they appear and we really need to go there, unless you have other things that you need to do, then we will rearrange this meeting for some other time, but we really need to meet as soon as possible.”  I had nowhere to go and I thought if Jim were alive, I would want to know even if that meant listening to all the shit again.

At Jim’s house, things were the exact the way I remembered them which made me feel a little bit like a child going back to a place I had not seen for a long time. I had this feeling that Jim was still around and that he was not dead like he made it sound to everyone else.  The first surprise was not anything I ever expected, it was not anything anyone would expect to see, and yes, it was Jim, the only difference was that Jim was not in his usual seat, but in a cooler, frozen dead.

No matter how many dead people I’ve seen in my life time and I had seen my share and more, seeing Jim’s dead body a year after his death out here made me want to vomit and I felt really sick the second my eyes laid on his skin, which had turned white due to being in the cooler all this time.  I think his eyes color had changed too for the same reason.

The big shocker was not Jim’s dead body but what Mr. Barrington said after we arrived.  He asked me to read a small sheet of paper that said, “The resurrection is not something that first happened with Jesus Christ, but other people had been resurrected also and it goes as back as early life”

Some other attachment was written about talking to the dead including some Holy Bible testimonies and other sources. 











Chapter two, Necromancy (talking to the dead)


“Talk to Jim and ask him about the new location to unholy entity (The Antichrist).” Mr. Barrington instructed me.  However, my doubts and confusion was logical, how in hell was Jim to be resurrected and who would be doing this voodoo and getting the dead to talk, and why Jim, why me?  Too many questions went through my head that I did not have time to ask before Mr. Barrington began to talk.

He was performing the ritual and for some reason, this ritual could not be performed without my presence. But the most fucked up thing was what he told me afterwards, which was that if I refused this new assignment then they would use my child because she is the closest in the bloodline and still virgin.

I thought of killing Mr. Barrington now, but I quickly considered my options and the limitations on my actions.  Even if I killed him it would not solve my problems, because Mr. Barrington was not my problem.  The whole damn cult is my problem and it is either start killing them one by one and risks my child and ex wife getting mixed up in this shit, or do what I do best and follow their orders and do the jobs. I went with the second choice.

I could not believe my eyes or ears; thirty three lines, each line took him about one minute to read, made Jim come back to life. And I do not mean come back to life as he was before but to some kind of a robot, a machine like you have to answer your phone.  He was a life with no life, staring at nothing, reacting to nothing but the voice of Mr. Barrington’s questions.  He had this empty look as if he was not there no more.  I tried to ask him about himself and death, but it is like he did not hear me or as if I was not there.  It freaked me out to think how we could create a zombie and what would happen if anyone found us doing this mambo jumbo stuff.

By the time I got myself together and began thinking clearly, I heard Mr. Barrington saying “May God have Mercy on your Soul, go back to sleep Jim, your time had come and thank you for waiting all this time, safe trip my dear friend”  and it was as if tears could be seen on Mr. Barrington’s face.

He said “In history books, you would find that in 1483, the Portuguese explorer Diogo Cão sailed up the uncharted Congo River stumbling on Congo villages and becoming the first European to encounter the Congo kingdom. 

Well, that is all wrong and there have been temples of God been there for about 1700 years.  After the Romans invaded Palestine 300 AC, many Jews fled the country to Europe and some to Africa.  A big part of those people stayed in Africa and were able to adjust to the living there.  A town called Kinshasa.” This is where we learned from the dead man that the boy was, his adopted family working in the Israeli embassy in Congo and the boy was with them.  Therefore my new destination was known and I had to get myself ready.

My passport was ready for me straightaway and I was supplied with a bag containing some instructions and $250,000 and Mr. Barrington added that they would make sure that I would get as much money as I needed while I was out there and asked me to be very careful because I looked American and that could be enough reason for them to hate me out there and maybe attempt to kill me too. The country still suffering from war and crisis and I should be very careful with every word I say around everyone out there.

Anyway, nothing really mattered except getting the job done and keeping my family away from it, and this time I decided I would kill him no matter what happened.  According to Sara, if I succeeded in my task of killing the Antichrist, then I would have gained one century before he could try to come back in a new form, so it would be enough time for me and my family to be gone, and I was determined that I would get this peace for them.

Mr. X wanted to make sure that I understood what he had done, to show me his point even though I had no clue to what he meant.  I just did not like to see Jim like that and I did not want to know anything about this assignment but I had no say. My child and the woman I loved were to be in a dangerous situation if I did not just do as I was told.  Therefore I got on with what needed, ensuring that I was very careful in understanding the book, that looked like hundreds of small articles discussing talking to dead people and many others, about the signs that would indicate the end of time and other specific instructions.

One point of the study that stuck with me was the conclusive proof of the electrical properties of DNA.  The fact that changes could be made to DNA through electricity. This to me was vitally important because when one tries to connect DNA with what we call God and then arrive at the fact of the electrical properties of DNA, the connection was made, at least as far as the Bible is concerned.

Kinshasa is the capital of Congo and to be honest, I hated being there even before the plane landed, for the country had a very bad reputation and the police were known to be rent and money collectors, and if you thought you were not going to pay; then you were wrong.  They would hold you on no charge or some stupid protocol violation they would find for you until you paid them something, so the plan was simple, keep $50 in every pocket and every time one of them stopped me, I would hand them the $50 and that should be enough to get out of the situation.  They told me that they would be asking for more and that I must act as if that $50 was the only money I had and that I was to use my credit card for anything else.

One of these situations occurred before I’d even entered the country.  A stupid vaccine sheet of paper that I did have at one point was no longer between my papers, and it was needed in order to obtain a visa.  The woman at the passport control desk would not overlook it, asking me to sit and wait in the office for her to deal with me. I was getting impatient.  The woman waited one hour before she talked to me again, saying she could not help me, I must go back to the US to get paper, and that there was nothing she could do to.

I after another hour and countless pleadings, the woman looked in to my eyes to answer my question when I asked, “if you could not help me, then is there anyone could help me?” 

“All the money you have”, she said!  “Give me all the money you have and I would be able to help you”.  I just wanted to leave the shit hole I was in, and said “Why you have not said so from the beginning?” handing her $50 and another $50 when she looked like she was disturbed.  I gave her $450 by the end of day and she stamped my passport to enter the country, and Kinshasa; here we are.

On the way over there, I had a look at the book Mr. X had given me and asked me to read on the airplane and I knew there was more trouble ahead of me, for as much as I love to learn about everything I knew that this need in me would send me to hell. Knowledge is a heavy burden on our hearts.  For an-example when we are children, our main concern is food, play games and get the small things all kids want.  However, looking at us now, every day we learn more and it becomes more of a responsibility due to this.  Knowing that a hundred people would be killed today meant that you would have the responsibility to do something about it, or live with the knowledge of having let it happen. The reality here was that if I chose to do nothing, then I would be a partner in crime and would deserve to be punished.

There have been three principal schools among the interpreters of the prophecies pertaining to the Antichrist. The first applied these prophecies to persons of the past, to men who have been in their graves for many centuries.  The second have given these prophecies a present application, finding their fulfillment in the Prophecy, which still exists.  The third gave them a future application.  Looked for their fulfillment in a terrible being whom yet to be manifested.  Now, widely divergent as are these several views, the writer assured there is an element of truth in each of them.  Many if not the greatest majority of the prophecies – are not only those pertaining to the Antichrist.  However, to other prominent objects of prediction - have at least a twofold, and frequently a threefold fulfillment.  They have a local and immediate fulfillment: they have a continual and gradual fulfillment: and they have a final and exhaustive fulfillment.

I became tired of reading all of this information and booklets, and I wondered why they wanted me to know more than I already did.  Mr. X and everyone kept me in the dark for years and I was okay with that, but now; it is getting more frustrating and illogical in every way.  First, it was my last name and the killing I had to do the first day I met Jim, and the important shifty incident that occurred earlier; Jim’s body been kept in a deep freeze in his own house with no questions asked.  What happen to his wife, did they kill her too and froze her body, are they going to freeze me too?  Shit, He resurrected Jim from death for a few minutes, which is something I still cannot adjust in my brains.  A dead man talking to me about a freaking beast and getting me to nail this bastard.

Maybe I am not that great a person, but every time I thought about Sara, I got to imagining her in my bed, kissing me and making love.  The thought that someone else was touching her was painful to me and I knew it was wrong to wish him bad, but I could not help myself.  Because this man is holding my wife and child away from me, but on the other side; I do not want to cause Sara any more pain than what I already had, she deserved happiness even if it was with someone else. 

In a part of the book I had been reading, I saw something very interesting, where it said and I quote “THE ANTICHRIST WILL BE A JEW.”

The Antichrist will be a Jew, though his connections, his governmental position, his sphere of dominion, will by no means confine him to the Israeli people.  It should, however, be pointed out that there is no explicit declaration of Scripture which says in so many words that this daring Rebel will be "a Jew"; nevertheless, the hints given are quite obvious.  The conclusion, which is drawn from certain statements of Holy Writ, are so obvious, and the requirements of the case are so inevitable, that we are forced to believe he must be a Jew.  To these `hints', `conclusions’, and `requirements' we now turn.

Life for a native here is worse than someone like me could tell you.  People are very poor to the point where you can hire a man for less than a dollar a day.  Most men here had no jobs but to carry water from the river and sell it in the city, and when night fall, the lucky ones would make one dollar that day.  The sad part about it was when you hear that a man makes one dollar a day, you would like to think that the dollar must make a different there, but the truth is; I pay $150 a night in this 4 star hotel which I totally hated.  It was the only one with air condition and a clean bed and that was enough for me. 

Although I had been sent there with a task, I received no more instructions and had nothing that I had to do. I wanted to do something to help these poor people, but it did not matter, the Congo or Zaire as I was told by one of the translators, their lives are really bad, no one helps them, no one cares for them, but something needed to be done.  I spent most of my days out there at the orphanage, helping those little orphans by buying them a meal, some clothes, and sometimes some toys.

The best idea I was able to think of was helping them remodeling place they called home (the orphanage) and make it look like a real home.  There was 37 children in the place, they all got only one meal a day, the place had one bathroom and no shower or bath area, and five bedrooms with a huge playing area.  I thought that the best thing to do here is to rebuild the whole thing from scratch, so I got the children in a temporary rental home and with my background with remodeling homes, I got a crew of handymen that were willing to work for a very cheap pay, and we finished the place in 14 days.  I used some of the play yard to add to the house, which gave me 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms & a huge kitchen extended to the living room.  Electricity was not a common thing in that area, so I had to buy them a generator for the big screen TV I got them.  The kids were ecstatically happy and I was happy to see the smile on their faces knowing that I have not done enough for these children, but I am doing the best I can under this circumstances.

According to our Intel, the boy and his new family had moved to the US where they been reassigned to the Washington Embassy and that where I should be according to my new instructions.  I wished I could have had some extra time to do something more to help the beautiful children in need. The time that I’d spent with them had made me feel happy for the first time since I had lost Sara. 

I felt bad leaving these nice poor people only for few hours, because I started to think of my baby and that I would be seeing her again soon.  I wondered if she remembers anything about me, her real father.  She was a little girl, almost 4 years old, but could that child know the different between a father and a stepfather, or what would be her opinion about me, the father that left her all this years?  As much as I wanted to see her, hold her high and kiss her, to play with her as we used to do, tell her bedtime stories, I was also scared to face her, I was afraid that my sudden reappearance in her life would cause her pain, and that was one something I needed to avoid.  I was a dead man, for her and everyone else, and maybe it was better if I stayed dead.














Chapter three; the last cigarette


The fact is, I was not a smoker, but when rescued on that island, it was hard not to smoke because everyone there smoked something and it was not only cigarettes, but also marijuana and other weeds.  They used all kinds of plants to fight sickness, to cure the wombs, it also been used to contact the elders in the afterlife.

Very fascinating people these people were.  Generous, giving, caring and loving people, the simplest people there is.  However, I learned to become a smoker and the heavy kind too, two boxes of Marlboro Reds every day, but today it was a little different.  Because I was a smoker, I could not feel it, until I noticed that people did not want to sit beside me and I knew it then, it was the smell of the smoker that makes some very uncomfortable.  The other thing I was thinking about was my child, she was bothered with my smell when I tried to hold her, and she did not want to be anywhere close to me mainly because of the way I smelled.  That second, I decided this cigarette my last one and threw the cigarette away. 

I continued to read in the book and now it was talking about the Antichrist names and said that he has 25 known names and the names are:

It is not that hard to kill someone, but what makes things harder is when you start questioning yourself as to whether it is your right to take someone else’s life simply because you have been told to do so.  It took me years before I started to feel that way, and since that day, I failed to kill the feeling.  I had the strangest feeling that I was being watched and that there is a higher power over me.  Things took a wrong turn one day, but I lived to talk about it, and every time I remember being face to face with it, my body shivers like an icy wind passing through my bones.  He looked me straight in the eyes and all my thoughts where about protecting my wife and my beloved angel, Mary.

  20. THE NAIL







(See Author’s personal studies)








Chapter four: My First Date

I am not sure what it was that I was looking for at the mall, was but here we are again.  Dalia the one girl that I wished to talk to and honestly, there was nothing sexually about wanting to know her.  Simply, she was so beautiful, but a different beauty than Sara’s.  She was very tall, thin body, hazel eyes and her face looked like an artist had drawn it with perfection.  Most likely, it was the feeling of being left alone in this unfair world, or the need to find someone to talk with, to be able to tell them your pain and let it all out.  Someone you can trust, in a world where trust had become an unknown word.

To my surprise, Dalia was the one to approach me and asked me about where I had been all these years.  She told me that she been tracking my news since the day of the plane crash and the failing of the rescue efforts.  She was very sincere and truthful and I could not remove my eyes from staring at her beautiful face and thinking of why now.

Dalia was about to leave when one of her friends called her name to hurry up, and I made a desperate move when I asked her if I could invite her for some coffee.  She answered me saying, “I don’t do coffee but what about dinner, tonight, at the Indian Palace?”  I was ecstatically happy and did not know what to say but to ask her “you mean tonight?”  “Yes!”  She said; “meet you there at seven.”  I never would think of this happening in a million years.  Me with another woman other than Sara.

That evening, I wore one of my old suits, as Sara had sent me some of my clothes that she kept in her attic, and for the first time since I came back, I felt like me again.  The steady man that never moved without a plan, the man that had gotten his dreams to become reality. 

It was odd, because I was feeling uneasy about dating another woman after Sara.  What would Sara think of me when she found out and she would know because that was the Sara who I knew and Sara that no one can predict.  The feeling of betraying her drove me nuts, I did not know why I was having such a feeling, she was already married to someone else and had her own life and she even bore him two other children when those children should have been mine.  Nevertheless, I decided to go and have a date no matter what she thought, because at this point, she could not blame me for trying to have my life back and like I said; Sara started all this shit, I hated to admit it, but I think I was mad at her and felt that I had been betrayed by her.  If it were the other way around, I would never give up on searching for her until I find her or at least found her body.  Sara never bothered to look for my corpse; she had given in to the fact that I was already dead, and there was no need to look for me or even assume that I may be alive somewhere out there.

I arrived earlier than Dalia did to the restaurant, and she was not there yet.  I learned to live with women’s appointments, they never made it on time, or at least the ones I knew, but to my surprise, Dalia walked into the restaurant wearing a black dress and a dark jacket and looked like a queen.  I hurried and pulled a chair for her and seated her, and the look of my face gave me away.  She asked me if I liked what she chose to wear, and I could not say anything but shaking my head with affirmation.  Impressive was the word that I finally said and she showed a gorgeous smile and bright teeth.  Her lips were thin, but looked as if they were inviting me to kiss them, but I knew better; not to try moves like this one on the first date or you would lose it forever.

It turned out that Dalia was a very smart person and a very good mind reader, were she read the thoughts in my head and smiled.  “I can tell you what you’re thinking of,” she said; I challenged her saying “then tell me if you’re that smart.”  With a sneaky smile she said “a kiss is what you thought of, you where thinking of kissing me but you where afraid that I’d get offended and leave you here by yourself”.  “I am starting to get scared of your spiritual abilities; I guess I need to be more careful with you.” I responded. 

“Yes!  I would’ve left you if you tried to do it, I would never go out with you again if that really happened, but I am sure you are smarter than that and you know how to treat a lady.”  Dalia stopped talking when the Indian music changed to Lionel Richie ‘Hello’.  I loved that song after I watched the video clip they made to go with the song, I cannot say why but it was beautiful artwork worth listening to it.  Dalia got closer to me and unexpectedly, she kissed me on the lips.  Her lips felt warm and sweet, but she backed out immediately not allowing me to proceed with the kiss saying “That was enough for a first date, let’s order our dinner”.  I agreed with her and raised my hand calling our waiter, signaling to him that we were ready to order.  Wine was not sold in the place, but they offered to send someone to buy it for us if that was what we wished, but Dalia asked me if I really wanted the wine or if it was for her, and when I told her that I did not drink, she smiled and said “that makes two of us”

We enjoyed our evening and we found out that we both had many things in common and almost had the same habits, likewise our respect for the time.  Dalia had proven me wrong about living the rest of my life. When it was the time to walk her home, I told her that neither of us talked about our personal lives.  “I do not know if you ever had been married, do you have children, a boyfriend, or a fiancé.”  I had many questions I told her, “and I am sure you have some questions for me too.”  Dalia answered me with a smile cutting through my thoughts while clicking on her keels-entry and her black BMW Z3 doors opened when I thought I would be walking her home, but I guess I was wrong, she planned the night, and I had no control over where this night went.  She said; tomorrow, dinner at the Be-Body place?  I smiled approving or second date, but I knew that I had to plan it better this time.

Not sure, what it was, but for the first time in many months as I can remember, I am feeling good, a smile over my lips, exited like a young boy with his new toy and it was all was because of her.  I wanted her to know that it was not about sex with her and that I was not thinking of sex the whole time I was with her, but this time, she had the lead and I could not talk very much, and we shall see how smart she would be when I counter her back. 

I could not go to sleep that night; I start thinking about her, and then drifted to thinking of Mary, my child.  Sara was on my mind too, and sadness took over excitement and breathing was not easy anymore.  I needed air as if the whole air in the world is not enough for me, and the need to hold my child ate me and consumed my thinking and it was the time for therapy which always worked, walking in the night, going nowhere.  It was almost morning when I arrived home and the cool wither made me wanting to seek the warmth of my bedcover.  After that, it did not take a long time before I went into a deep sleep.  In my dream, I saw Sara and some young girl that I was not able to see her face when I assumed she was my daughter.  Sara looked scared and in a fighting position, when the little girl hid behind her hoping her mother would be able to save her from the unknown enemy.  For some time, I could not understand why she was looking at me like that; it looked like Sara was protecting my daughter from her own father and that made me mad.  What hill, I said; why are you doing this?  Addressing my words to Sara, but suddenly, I understood.  Sara was not looking at me, but something standing behind me, something I did not wish to turn face, something scary and myself.

I woke up screaming; I was sweating like a pig and heart beating was fast and loud to the point that I could hear my own heart.  It was 1:45 PM when I woke-up and I had something to do before my date tonight; it was meeting my Mary for the first time after all this years.  I must find her a gift that she would find appealing and to get her impressed the way my gifts to her use to do.  It was 4:15 when I found the present that I bought.  It was a whole set of toys, a big house, a lady with a pet and her different dresses, small swimming pool and a table set for girls ages from 7-14. 

Chapter Five “Getting a brake”


It was amazing, the change that I saw in my child, she now looks more like her mother, taller and her futures are nothing like she uses to be.  My darling is now like her mother, even more charming.  She was afraid talking to me or hugging and kissing me, but I expected that after all these years of being away from her.  I asked her if she knew who I was, if she remembers anything from the past, but she stared back at me with no words, as if she was trying to remember old rusty memories.  I do not think she would remember me anyway, but after Sara left the room to give us our privet time together.  Mary kept staring at me for a second before I saw her tears, she stood in her place speechless, I did the only thing a father would do under the current circumstances, and I held her, kissed her forehead, when she held tight to me and let herself to crying.  It took us few minutes before we broke our hugging; it was then when she saw my tears in my face, and in uncontrollable move, we both dried each other’s tears from our faces which made us both laugh hard.  She asked me to where I had been all this years, and why did I leave them?  She wanted to know if my absent was by choice or simply was my mistake.  I told her that either way she looked at it, it still be my fault because I should have not left them and accepted that last job.  I talked to her as if talking to an adult, because she sounded like one and acted like it too.  I told her about the plane crash and the three years I spent with the ones who saved me and talked about the life there and if she can visit the place once, she grew up a little.  Then we talked about her; I asked her about her schooling and if she was okay with school and what was her grades and many other questions about her friends and the life she did for the past three years.  We agreed to pick her up and go to the theater this weekend if Sara was okay with that.  It was when Sara walked into the room and asked us what is it you wanting to ask me?  Mary started talking but Sara shut her up telling her to speck it in either French or Spanish.  I was impressed; my daughter spoke both languages fluently as if she was a native of France and Mexico.  She said in French “Pouvons Nous aller au théâtre ce samedi” Could we go to the theater this Saturday.  In addition, followed it with a Spanish sentence “Por favor madre, queremos hacer esto, por favor” Please mother, we want to go, please.  My daughter was smarter than I was and that made me happier, she is amazing.  Sara smiled and said; {Only if you promised to clean your room everyday from now on and stop tossing your things around like you own the whole place} and Mary ran to hug her mother, thanking her for the opportunity to know me better.

Mary told me that she loved my gift to her but Sara told me the truth when Mary went to get us a lemon juice.  Sara told me that she had those toys for the past two years, that her step-father bought it for her on Christmas and the only reason she said that she liked it is because you got it for her and she did not want you to feel bad.  I smiled and knew what that meant, another present but this time; I am going to let her choose.  Time past quickly and it was time for her husband to come home and I really did not want to meet him fearing acting stupid or something could cause Sara problems.  I did not want to leave but I knew it was time to go and I held my little darling high after giving her my cellophane number, just in case she needed anything from me with her school or any kind of daughter-father questions.  Mary did not have her own cellophane due to her mother’s instructions, and after finished with my goodbyes to Mary, I turned around to find my ex-wife standing inches from me, looking me in the eyes, waiting for a hug or a kiss while her eyes released the tears in them.  I could not do anything but hold her, trying to comfort her tell her everything will be all right.  Sara tried to reach my lips and kiss me, and it did not matter how much I wanted to kiss her, but reality and knowledge stopped me, because she was a married woman and she belonged to another man and that is one thing I added to my guide lines, never get yourself in a relationship with a married woman.  Whoever; Sara did not like the fact that I backed out and she reacted by pushing me away from her and looked me in a shock, I could tell how angry and offended she must felt, but it could not been any other way.  Women are very offended when rejected, and the rejection soon turns to revenge and I hopped it would never reach to that point between Sara and myself.

I left the house not saying a word, Mary watched silently, and Sara did not move from her place as if she still in shock.  I could not forget the look on her face when she wanted me, and the look on her face after the rejection, and to be honest, I felt threaten by Sara now, because she could fight me with the only weapon she has against me and it would’ve worked if she chooses to do so.  My angel Mary was her weapon, and she know that would kill me if she did that, but I don’t think Sara would be that mean and use our child against me, because after all, we still love each other and that could never change. 

I had 45 minutes before my date arrives to the restaurant, and I must keep myself focused and turn this night the way I planned, and I did have a good plan.  I waited for her outside the restaurant to get her before she enters the place.  I planned to get her to a different restaurant, to a place called the Moroccan House downtown, where they served Arabian food like the one I ate and loved in Israel, because the food was delicious and very healthy.  Because I was well known at the place because since the day I returned, I been coming over there staidly, and I hopped she would like the food the way I do. 

Dalia showed exactly on time, which made me respect her even more.  She was surprised to find me standing outside waiting for her and not inside the restaurant.  I explained to her that I needed to take her to a unique restaurant that serves only, delicious healthy food.  She smiled and agreed on walking me to the place while holding my hand looking like young teen lovers.  When walked into the Moroccan house (Restaurant) I saw the other men’s look when they saw us walking in together, they envied me while I was able to read their minds saying, “I should in his place, why is such beauty going out with this guy?  He is nobody.”  The thought made me smile and feel a bet more satisfied, because tonight, accompanied with the most beautiful woman in the city and things going as planned.  Dalia wore Dark blue dress and it was somewhat short.  That was one of my downsides because short dresses gets me every time and I needed not to think of sex tonight.  Before she asked me wither I liked her dress or the one from last night more, and I knew it was a tricky question, because no matter what I answered, she could manipulate my answer to her advantage, but tonight shall become about my advantages and not only hers.  After I thought for a second, my mouth found the right answer and said; “It is not a matter of dresses with you darling, you are making all the dresses beautiful whenever you put them on, I believe the beauty is not in the dresses, but in you”.  Dalia smiled showing satisfaction after hearing my answer but asked me again “So you don’t prefer one over the other?” and I said No!  Both are just fine as long as you come with the dress and this time, she uncontrollably laughed, and shaking her head with approval and said, “Seems that you came prepared this time.”

We kept on talking about many things like politics, food and many other things until our food arrived and she started to ask me about what was the food made of.  What were the names of the many dishes like the Humus and the main course, which was stuffed grape, leafs and stuffed Arabic Shish Kebab and my favorite dish, the meatballs that comes with tomato sauce and rice, the food was great and it got her approval.

After dinner, I asked her the first question about herself, I asked her to tell me a little about herself and when my turn comes, I would be telling her everything.  Dalia started talking; I am a single mother to a five years old child with no father she said, because his father chooses to leave us for another woman.  I work as VP for printing company and I make good money for my child and me.  I have no boyfriend nor I thought of being with a man since my ext left us and if you want to know why I changed my mind and went out with you, and then I will let you know.  If you remember the time you were trying to talk with me and have a relationship with me, I admired you for that, you never tried to cross the boundaries or force yourself like most men, but I did not think you would give up the way you did.  I could not get you out of my head, and when I learned that you got married, I lost interest in you until your plane crash.  I could not believe that you were dead, something told me that I would see you again and please don’t laugh at this; I always knew that you would ask me out one day and I wanted to say how sorry I was to the way I responded the first time you tried to ask me out.  However, you must understand, you where a complete stranger and you scared me with the way you followed me and I am not saying that you like a rapist or a psychopath but I was young and too many stories were told about freaks and bad ends to such stories.  However, I tracked your story when they found you and told myself that this poor man must been through a lot and I owed him apology, and honestly, I am not sure why I was so interested in knowing more about you.  I could not but smile and admire her for the courage she had telling me all this information, and she added asking me about myself.  She said, “I know you do real estate and you are divorced or whatever your situation is, but in the end, your ext wife is ext and she is with another man; and that makes you available.  She asked me while smiling; so tell me about yourself, tell me things I do not know about you, things like what you hate, what you like, what do you do in your free time? 

I wanted to see her reaction when I start telling her some sad truth and what I do for living.  I told her that my true business is killing bad people that I work as a contracted assassin who is kill people for living.  I do not think she believed my story and thought I was joking about it until she looked into my eyes and saw the truth in them.  You are serious, aren’t you?  You really kill people for living.  What kind of a job is that?

I saw when her joy turned to be fear and denial, she could not talk for some time, and I knew I now must tell her the whole story, and I did.  It took me almost two hours of telling her the story, which covered the major events in my life including meeting Jim’s and my first killing and many other memories.  Dalia was confused now and asked me if that thing really exists, and what would I do to stop it and save the world?  She was no longer afraid of my killing people part; she was focus on the Antichrist’s information sounded like she actually understood the danger that surrounding us.  She seemed more excited now, she wanted to know everything about my mission, and detailed information about the dreams Sara and I had.  It got my ears that she was asking about those dreams more than ones and that led me to only one explanation, she dreamed the same dreams we had.  I then asked her about her dreams and she almost cried when told me; it was the same dream Sara, the math Doctor and me.  We all shared one dream, and that makes our meeting far away from coincidence.  We talked about that for some time and I told her how we managed to keep the dreams away so she can use the same tactics to help her with her sleeping problem.  She then held my hand with her soft and warm hands, but it was time to leave because the restaurant was about to close and we were holding the employees inside the place.  I paid our ticket and apologized to keep them held all this time but I made their waiting worth something when I tipped the main waiter $100 bocks, which made him very happy that night. 

Our night was not over yet, we walked across the river road, holding hands and talking about many subjects, until we were at her apartment building.  She asked me if I like to get in and try her chocolate cake, but she said, don not think that would get you anywhere with me, just talking and nothing more, agreed?  I aimed my head agreeing with her conditions and we walked to her place.  Her apartment was a small middle class home, but it was charming the way she organize it and the way it shows her personal beauty reflecting in the things she put together.  It was a small apartment but it was not cheap.  She paid $1800 a month, which equals what I was paying for $240,000 mortgage, but I did not say anything about it and kept listening to her while talking about her life.  I learned much information about her and her son and some more information about her dreams.  Dalia was afraid to go to sleep and asked me if I could stay until she sleeps, she said, because she felt safe around me and that was a shocker, because I am one of the few people that everyone must be extra careful with her.  I mean, if I get a hit contract on anyone’s head, I would be forced to do it no matter how close in relationship to the subject, because at that scale, it would only means you turned to be a target and only a dead person.  I did not say any of the thoughts that crossed my mind about trusting and my killing skills, we only talked about her and I was a damn good listener, which is something every woman looks for in a man, someone to listen to her, not someone keep telling her what to do and bossing her every day.  Women are a different from men in many ways; they are more sensitive and more dramatic than we are, men are.  Women looking for safe shelter every time they around a man, and it is very hard to find a woman that is 100% convinced that her man is exactly what she wants.  The man of her dreams, the man that she been waiting all of her life, and because of that, and after long waiting, women start to accept lesser perfection to be with another man.

Dalia kissed me again, but this time it was the right kind of kisses and it lasted sometime and Dalia looked at me in her sleepy beautiful eyes and said; that is enough for one night, you can go home, but please, take good care of yourself.  I left her place feeling better and smiling because I did have control over my sexual wants, and I was able to respect Dalia’s wishes and no peruse her knowing she would give in if I pushed her a little, but respect and I think it is love.  What made me distanced myself from that kind of a relationship, because after a night like that, I might end-up losing her forever and that was not something I intended on doing.  Dalia was something more pure and more frugal and I know that she been through a lot, and I must be helping her not taking advantage of her situation. 

Before parking my car, I saw a strange vehicle parked close to my house and it seemed that someone was waiting in it.  I pulled my nine-millimeter from my clove-compartment and unlocked the safety pin and headed towered the vehicle.  To my surprise, it was no one I did not know, it surely was Mr. X himself, and after we shake hands, I told him that I was wondering to why he was waiting out there in the car, looking like a hit man?

Mr. Barrington told me he needed to discuss one matter that is more important with me and according to him, a very important task that I should be doing.  It was not a hit target, no killing and no kidnapping; my mission was simple, find and locate someone in France, where that someone could be the answer to many suffering humankind is living now.

Who  is this super important man you seeking to find, and why do I need to be looking for him when you have better followers a lot better than myself in finding missing people and tracking someone’s path.  Mr. Barrington handed me a small book contained may different articles about Jesus Christ and the royal bloodline.  It seemed interesting to read but I was too tired and it was almost 4: AM and I needed to rest.  It did not take me more than 30 minutes and I was a deep sleep dreaming more than one dream at the time but in my dreams, I knew it was just dreams but no matter what I knew, it still scared the living hill out of me. 

When I woke up, it was ten past ten and I felt a lot better than the night before and no longer felt sleepy.  After I showered and shaved my beard, my eyes cot the book that Mr. Barrington left me last night and I held it to read a little in it.  The book was talking about the theory about a marriage between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene and more stuff about having children.  It said MARY MAGDALENE BIOGRAPHY


Chapter six “The Gnosticism”

Mary Magdalene and her relationship with Jesus


The Gospel of Philip been cited for the idea that Jesus married Mary Magdalene.  Much of the Gospel of Philip is dedicated to a discussion of marriage as a sacred mystery, and two passages directly refer to Mary Magdalene and her close relationship with Jesus:

Three always walked with the Lord: Mary, his mother, and her sister, and Magdalene, the one that called his companion.  His sister and his mother and his companion were each a Mary.

I had to stop my readings for my date cannot wait and I started to prepare myself for tonight’s date

It was time to meet Dalia noticing myself smiling every time I thought of her, she made me happy again, my heart bombing the blood to my vain and that I think called love.  Our date was in one hour and I needed to get dressed after shaving and taking a shower but this time, dinner is in her house and this should be a special night, even though every night is a special night when spending it with Dalia.  After my shower and on the way to her house, I stopped by the flowers shop at Benning Drive to buy her some roses because the custom is to bring some wine or things similar to it but we both did not drink.  The best idea was to buy her the roses and I bought her red roses to show her how much she meant to me. 

She was gorgeous as usual and the short black dress showing her charming, incredible legs and a part of her upper chest was noticeable in a way that she looked descent and at the same time, looking sexy.  She was a woman that pusses a very strong self-steam, a woman that believed in herself.  We sat on the dinner table and were surprised to see young Zack setting with us at the dinner table when I thought it would be just us tonight and it was going to be a special night.  It did not matter though, because I am in her company and I have to meet her little boy and get to know each other.  However, I wished she told me earlier so I could buy him something because usually, that ease the first time meeting because a child his age won’t be happy to see a new man in his mother’s life after he believed that he was the man of the house.  He was thinking that his mother will soon forget about him and be busy with this strange man and I understand his point view and I was almost ready to make the first move.  What is your name son?  He looked at me as if he was checking me out, then he said, “My name is Zack Qumran,” what is your name sir?  He asked

I was surprised to hear his last name, and just remembered that I never actually asked her about her last name before.  I thought!  We related after all.  My head was confused now, not knowing what to say or how to say, but the look on the boy’s face reminded me that he was waiting for me to answer his question.  I told him that my name was Sam Qumran, which the same last name as yours is moving my eyes from the boy to his mother looking for answers.  My mother said that you like kids and that you have a girl my age, and that we would be able to play together and friends.  True I said, and I am sorry not getting you a gift on my way here, it is only because your mother that did not tell me that we would be meeting today, but I will tell you what, we will go out after dinner and get you some toys

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