I'm being wrapped in the darkness
Within my broken heart,
I feel as if my soul
Is being torn apart.
.
I'm lost in the maze
That exists inside my mind - I'm scared
And the right path
Seems really hard to find.
.
I'm trapped, in a war
Between right and wrong.
I can't help but wonder-
Which side do I belong?
.
Angels versus demons,
Light versus dark,
A never ending war...
Will it ever stop?
.
I know, a foolish question....
But hope is all I've got!
To keep my fragile form
From breaking apart.
.
Being surrounded by lies
That make the eye tear -
After all this time
Do I still know to be sincere?
.
A prisoner, that's how I feel;
And, though I try,
To escape I can't,
I'm too weak and start to cry.
.
But I don't surrender,
I refuse to give in!
I'll fight till the end
Until the truth is seen!
.
Good versus evil....
Who decides what's what?
A never ending war or better said
An excuse that helped,
.
To hide the ugly truth
To hide it behind mask s - illusions,
That conceal from the world
Our ugly selves....
Submitted: December 11, 2009
© Copyright 2023 Sara Blake. All rights reserved.
Comments
This was pretty good over all. Especially since your learning English. Interesting read, I could relate to it too.
Sat, December 12th, 2009 8:14pm
Author
Reply
I'm glad you like it!!^-^
Sat, December 12th, 2009 10:42pm
nice! who cant relate to this? awsome!!!XD
Sat, December 12th, 2009 9:01pm
Author
Reply
^///^ Thanks!!!
Sat, December 12th, 2009 10:42pm
A very deep poem, while being a very true poem which many can related to and become immersed in. I really liked it.
Sun, December 13th, 2009 11:30am
Author
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^///^ I'm glad you did!!
Sun, December 13th, 2009 4:01am
..really nice...deep & sincere..liked it a lot.
Sun, December 13th, 2009 11:49am
Author
Reply
I really hope so...It's my first poem and I hope it's, even a little, enjoyable...>///
Sun, December 13th, 2009 4:02am
Wow! That was beautiful! Very true, and exactly my kind of poem, the same kind I usually write! (although none of them are posted lol) Great job! Keep it up!
Sun, December 13th, 2009 7:49pm
Author
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AHH>.///
Sun, December 13th, 2009 3:01pm
Brilliant as always girl!
Sun, December 13th, 2009 8:00pm
Author
Reply
Thank you! >///
Sun, December 13th, 2009 2:58pm
that was great
u should check out my 1 called "the devils own"
Author
Reply
I will. ASAP! ^-^
Sun, December 13th, 2009 3:17pm
This is a really good poem it has great flow and the rhyme is not bad. You have the reader feeling your emotions as they read. Well written
Mon, December 14th, 2009 10:35pm
Author
Reply
Happy you like it ^-^ Thank you!
Tue, December 15th, 2009 1:16am
nice poem, it flows really well and the rhymes never seem forced. just one little thing, at the end, it should be "selves" instead of "selfs" but thats just a technicality :)
Wed, December 16th, 2009 1:18pm
Author
Reply
Thank you for pointing out that mistake and I'm glad you liked the poem!!^-^
Thu, December 17th, 2009 8:44am
really good! i liked it a lot! great rhyme scheme, flows really really well, message makes sense and is well portrayed...great job! :)
Thu, December 17th, 2009 8:58pm
Author
Reply
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it ^-^ Thank you once again>_
Thu, December 17th, 2009 1:59pm
Wow, it was beautiful, i love your writing style
Sun, December 20th, 2009 2:01am
Author
Reply
Glad you enjoyed it ^-^
Sun, December 20th, 2009 1:16am
Well done. It has a nice flow and your point in it is clear. Excellent!
Sun, December 20th, 2009 1:30pm
Author
Reply
Thank you ^-^ Glad you liked it
Sun, December 20th, 2009 11:27pm
Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
( And to me many, many comments XD =^-^=)
May your world be filled with warmth and happiness this Holy season, and throughout the year. I wish that your Christmas will be filled with peace and love. Happy Holidays!! ^-^
Wow, that was deep and intense!!! It certainly grabbed my attention. I think of it as life's message to anyone. Great piece, great after thoughts, keep it up!!!
Sun, December 27th, 2009 3:55pm
Author
Reply
Thank you!!^-^
Sun, December 27th, 2009 10:50am
this is very good, deep emotions eluminate through this entire piece. i might suggest perhaps breaking it into stanzas so the length does not look so overwelming to some and to catagorize you emotions to make it easier to read. great job, rosanna
Mon, December 28th, 2009 8:59pm
Author
Reply
Thank you very much for reading and commenting!! Your advice is very useful for me and I'll put it in practice asap!!^-^
Mon, December 28th, 2009 11:28pm
absolutely amazing!!!!!!!! are you sure that you have just started learning english? it's brilliant i love the flow of it and the structuring of it is also very well done. Such a beautiful poem and very similar to my own.lol Brilliant honestly brilliant!
Wed, December 30th, 2009 8:19am
Author
Reply
Haha, the funny thing that I just said the same thing about your poem just a second ago! Thank you for reading and commenting!
Wed, December 30th, 2009 12:33am
nice! :D !
Thu, December 31st, 2009 6:11pm
Author
Reply
Thanks ^-6
Thu, December 31st, 2009 2:27pm
oh my god! i didn't know you write poems!!
THIS IS SO GOOD. AND SOME WORDS RHYME TOO!!!
so not like mine. =.= lol. XD
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Author
Reply
Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaank you >.
Thu, January 14th, 2010 4:13am
Wow this was sooooo good!!! I feel like this sometimes, when I dont know what to do, and I want to make the right choice. I love the emotion and descriptions of whats going on inside the mind. Very well written, good job!! :D
Fri, January 15th, 2010 3:25pm
Author
Reply
Thank you ^-^ I know what you mean...it can give me a headache sometimes >.
Fri, January 15th, 2010 7:42amFacebook Comments
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well done sj
Fri, December 11th, 2009 10:59pmAuthor
Reply
Thank you! ^-^
Fri, December 11th, 2009 3:18pm