So it all started two years ago when we were all new in this school. I used to be really shy. I was an awkward anti-social girl, that always tried to fit in. But I never actually did. I had one real friend before I came to this school. Kylie, who is still one of my best friends. But when I came to this school, -surprisingly- it wasn't so hard to make new friends. After a couple of months I felt like a whole different person. I wasn't that shy and awkward girl anymore, and I actually had a lot of friends. My best friends were Caitlyn, Jen and Demi. Another girl in our class was Tamar. Nobody really liked her because Demi was spreading rumors about her. Demi always seemed like this really confident girl who could make anybody do what she wants. She was the girl that could make everybody believe what she said. She could make people feel better by telling them exactly what they wanted to hear, and giving them "advice". But in reality, she wasn't like that at all. She was actually kind off insecure. She trusted only Caitlyn and me. Caitlyn and Demi started making a list of hot boys they knew. They started with three guys from their athletics club.
Then they added some guys from school
All of the other boys on the list were older guys that we didn't even know the name off. I wanted to add a guy in our year. Drew. He was in my opinion the hottest guy in the whole school. But they didn't think he was hot and to be honest, I didn't give a shit. All off the guys on the list liked Caitlyn. She trained way to much wich gave her a perfect body, and her long dark blonde hair just finished it. Demi couldn't accept the fact that the boys gave Caitlyn more attention than her. That's when she hold me how insecure she actually is, wich was weird to me because with other people, she was always bragging about having a "big ass", "big boobs" and dark curls with green eyes. Guys knew that, but they also called her fat. So she started to comapre herself with Caitlyn wich made her feel bad so she started ignoring Caitlyn. And when Demi ignores someone, everybody else does too. Jen didn't care about all of this. She had always been this crazy girl who did whatever she wanted whenever she wanted and didn't care about anything. That's why everybody liked her. To "make Caitlyn jealous", Demi started hanging out with me and Tamar way more. She also started rumors about Caitlyn.
Meanwhile, I was getting to know Drew better. I found out that he wasn't only the hottest but also the sweetest guy I had ever met. And yes... I had a crush on him. Only Tamar and Demi knew that. And for some reason -after she called him ugly- Tamar got a crush on him too. Tamar was a lot less shy than I was, so she started talking to him way more than I did. She even went to his house with Demi and Jason -Jason is his best friend and Demi had a huge crush on Jason- . After that, Tamar and I had stopped talking for a long while and I gave up on Drew. Why would he like me if he can get Tamar? When we started talking again, Tamar didn't have a crush anymore. After this, summer break started.
After summer break everything changed. Tamar got a boyfriend; Chris. And without a reason, I started losing all my friends. Tamar and I didn't talk anymore at all. All she did was talking about Chris and making a huge drama out of everything. She wasn't that fun and crazy girl annymore and that was fucking annoying. Caitlyn came back to the "group" and I realised that Demi was doing the same thing she did with Caitlyn to me. First, she took away Jen. Jen, who I had spent the whole summer with. Jen, who I talked to 24/7. The bitch took away Jen. Taking away Caitlyn was easy. We weren't that close and Caitlyn was happy to be back in the "group".
I realised that I shouldn't have left Tamar, so we started talking again. I told her what Demi had been doing all that time and you'd expect her to hate Demi but guess what? Tamar started feeling bad because she spent to much time focussing on Chris. She wanted to change herstelf for Demi. I had nobody at that time. But I didn't want to realise it.
Some how, Tamar and I got really close. But -for example- at the prom, she was with Chris the whole night while I was partying with everybody else. So I still felt alone. All that time I still had a crush on Drew. He was all I could think about and Tamar was the only one who knew it.
"I'm just gonna do it whatever he'll never find out" I said while walking to my locker with Tamar. "Are you sure? This can go wrong." I opened my locker and pushed my books in it. "But he'll never vind out it was me" I closed my locker and we walked downstairs. "What about you? Aren't you sending any roses?" I asked. "I'm sending one to Chris." she answerd. "I thought you were gonna give him a phone case with that cute picture of you two gaming" I said while walking to the row to buy valentine roses. "I'm doing both" it was our turn. "Two please" I grabbed a card.
?Name; Drew Ummings
?With this rose I want to tell you that;
?Your inside makes your outside perfect.
?Your outside makes your inside perfect.
?I secretly like you.
?I want to go to dinner with you.
?I love you.
?Other... I've had a crush on you for a long time.
I gave the card back and payed the price of the rose. Tamar did the same. "You can still take it back you know?" She said before we walked away. "I know, but I'm not taking it back" we walked to the second floor again. That was our usual lunch place.
Everybody has their own place during lunch. The caffeteria had the youngest kids and the oldest. The weird nerds, emo's and gamers sit on the first floor and stairs. The second floor has the whole second grade. That's where I am. The second floor is spread in three groups. 1. Rich attention seekers. 2.weird loud people -including my class- and 3. 2Es -and some other people. I am one of those "other people" 2Es are the funniest people ever and I feel like I could be myself around them. But we are also friends with group 1 and 2. That's why Drew was with group 1 a lot.
"Whatsup" I walked to Anthony and rubbed my hand in his hear. For some reason, me and my friends just couldn't say "hey" like normaal people. This is how I always said hi to Anthony. He has really soft, big, dark curls. Anthony is probably the craziest and funniest one of them all. He can make every situtation awkward, wich is amazing. I found a place and sat down on the table. Tamar sat next to me. I saw Taylor comming with Luna and Maria. I couldn't just say hij to them either. Taylor always walks up to me weird and them gives me this weird ass high five while saying "suuuupp" and giving me a rape face. Taylor is also one of the funniest people I know. I have never had a normal conversation with her. Maria always touches my head while saying hey. I don't even know why but it's kind off funny. The only one I can greet normal is Jason. For some reason he always has this hella cute smile on his face while talking to me and some other girls.
I got done with school fast that day and I went back home as soon as I could. Since I lied to my parents a couple of months ago, they got really strict. I went to Jens house after my parents told me I couldn't go. I told them I'd go to a park with some friends for 2 hours instead. But I stayed at my friends house for 6 hours and because my mom kept calling me, I turned my phone off. When I came back home my mom told me my brother went to the park to find me because it got late and they couldn't reach me. I had never seen my parents this mad. My dad ignored me and went for a walk. I was actually happy about that because I'm kind of scared of my dad. He never talks normal to me. He's always slamming the walls while yelling. Even his eyes scared me. My mom kept asking me where I was, and I told her I had detention. She didn't believe me so she wanted to call the school or Jen to check if I was telling truth. I did everything to stop her from calling them, and it worked. She took away my phone and gave me her phone that only had whatsapp and was slow as fuck. Since then I always had to go home right after I finished school. Because my grades were going bad, my dad also started cutting off my internet every day from six to ten. He almost never talked to me again after this. Only to ask about school and again while slamming the walls. Every day he made me realise how much I wanted him to leave even more.
February 14th. Valentines day. The day populair girls got reminded of how populair they are' and.... The day Drew would find out someone has a crush on him. And Tamar was right. I allready regret this.
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