Chapter Six- Godly Duties
I am a God. I will never die. I have an eternal duty. The next is waiting.
People are coming forward. The police did not cut off the investigation as I’d thought. It simply wasn’t enough that there was no motive and I was a lunatic. Faces I recognise even in black and white were splashed across the newspapers. The main story was about Rozyuka, a polish girl who died of a brain tumour. I remember her. She had long white blonde hair and perfect teeth. I met her on a support website and we met up. They always meet up with me, they can’t resist my charm and the comforting thought of being loved by a man even when they were ill and nearing death. When they are feeling their least feminine and are vulnerable. She was the one with the children; they made a big story of that. They said I had abandoned the girls. I quickly gained their trust. They thought I was fun, their new daddy who would always be there for them and their mummy. Lila and Marjon were their names, they were twins. Lila always called me Carlo.
Rozyuka died. I held her as she passed away, and I was holding her hand. She whispered to me to make sure her girls were safe. I knew all along what I was going to do. When I first found out she had children I had thought it would be problematic. When she died they’d still be there and they’d hang around and make it unfeasible to move on to the next woman. But there was their aunt and uncle, Katine and Oles and I knew for certain they’d take the girls. They only had one daughter and she was grown now and they craved another child.
When I told Katine and Oles I couldn’t have the girls live with me, I didn’t lie. I told them straight that I would not have them, I didn’t want them. Now Rozyuka was dead there was no point in seeing them. They were nothing to do with me. Katine was a fiery woman; she was hysterical upon hearing this. She leapt for my throat cursing in Polish. Oles had to restrain her but this did not mean he didn’t agree. He ordered me out of the house and told me to lie to the girls. Katine wanted them to know the truth and I would’ve told them. It was the look on Oles’ face told me to lie or he’d find me. Here was the greatest kind of man, one who could express anger without words or movements. I wasn’t the great kind; I would have given in to violence. The fire burning behind his steely eyes spoke volumes. If he wasn’t the greater kind of man he would have too.
I read through the names looked at the pictures. Each face was a different chapter of my story. There was no crime in dating, even marrying a large number of women. Their names did not sadden me, I knew they’d die. That was the thrill. There was one name that did upset me though. Stephanie Gates, the woman I’d murdered. Stephanie who I’d killed mistaking her for my dead wife Sylvia. I’d murdered the poor healthy woman to hide my secret, to stop them finding out. All I had done was bring my secret into the light. I’d brought it all on myself.
It was meant to carry on for an eternity. I was a God, I would never die. I could have any woman I chose and I chose them. They were ill and would die and I would see them come and go through these eyes that had seen a thousand deaths. Whether it was a fling, a relationship or a short marriage I would have them. Whether they died engaged, died before the wedding bells rang. Death did not faze me. I knew the next woman was waiting, I sometimes even knew exactly who. Right now I would have been with the woman across the road from me and Sylvia’s house. She was an attractive young woman and she liked me before I was put in here, deemed mentally unstable. She had leukaemia.
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