The Reason Why
Sleep Party People - I'm Not Human At All
I wake lying in a stark white bed. Ben’s head lies beside me. His hair curls forward into a mess that finds itself perched on top of his head. His arm stretches over my waist and he holds onto his phone in his hand. I pull a hand to my eyes to rub the burning from them. I look over to see my father sitting in a chair reading a magazine. He looks up to me and sucks in his lips and he scratches his head. I look to Ben as he snores. He always snores when he sleeps. I usually get tired of it before I get used to it.
"Well, you can't leave for a couple of days." my father tells me. He closes the magazine and then closes it. He pulls on his beanie and grabs his keys from his pocket as he stands from the chair.
"Where’s mom?" I croak. My dry throat burns as the words leave my mouth and I pull a hand to my throat. I can barely even breathe without my throat hurting. I look to the window on the other end of the room.
"She didn't want to come. She's been crying in bed for a couple of days." He tells me. I pull the hair from my face and I sigh as my throat burns.
"I’m sorry." I whisper.
"I know." he stands. "I really am hurt Penny." But, I don’t care about that. I breathe in as he taps Bens shoulder. "Hey, Ben I'm going to leave. Are you coming?" I scratch my head and to find a couple of stitches.
"no." he yawns. He falls back to sleep rubbing his head on the covers. "I'll stay." my father looks to me. He squeezes the beanie in his hands and puffs out a sigh.
"I really don't want to see you right now." he adds harshly. I feel numb now but I'd still like to cry. I look away from him and I pull my hand to my neck.
“Whatever, leave… you’re really awesome at leaving me when I actually need you.”
"You were seriously willing to do that to yourself. You haven't thought of anyone else. How could you possibly be that sad Penny?" he cries. I look down at Ben’s jacket running a finger across the leather sleeve. "I thought you were going to die and nearly had a heart attack on the way here." He looks from me and to starts to the door. I let my eyes make it back to see him and he bites a half of his lip.
"Dad, quit yelling at her." Ben hums from the cover. I pull my finger from the leather and I sigh looking to my father.
"You scared the living shit out of me and I have never fucking cried that much in my life Penny. Does that explain to you how much I love you?" he pulls on his coat. It gets harder to find myself staring at him and I pull my hand back to my neck and I look down at the baseball patch on Ben’s jacket. "While you're here for a couple of days I would really like for you to think of a million other ways to fix the way you're feeling on the inside." he turns from me. I groan as he walks away. "While you do that I'm going to go try and possibly think of some way to not feel like I failed as a parent." he walks out shutting the door behind him. Ben snores loudly over the beeping in the room. I lay back on the pillow softly closing my eyes.
"I love you Penny, please don't do that again." he hums. "Penny, don’t ever do that again." I shake my head and I lay back on the pillow. We sit in silence together and he snores softly. I pull over to the small remote and I turn the TV on. He lifts and scratches his head. "I'm going to go pick up food. I'll grab your clothes from my car. There are a couple of places to eat here." he looks to his watch. "Adam should be here soon."
"Yeah, Adam, I need someone to keep you company while I’m gone."
"Why?" my voice croaks as I clear my throat. It burns and feels like blood is spewing through.
"Well, I’ve been kind of worried about you and your doctors a total spazz. He was pretty worried too." he clears his throat. The door peaks open and a woman walks in. She wears these burgundy scrubs and smiles between the two of us.
"Hey!" she cries. "Okay so, you my friend, aren’t safe to eat anything other than soft, bland foods for a couple of days." she pulls to me and smiles as Ben leaves us in the room. "Dear god, you have a very attractive family." she giggles. I roll my eyes and I look to the ground. "Okay, I'm going to be your doctor for a couple of days." she pulls on gloves. "Open your mouth?" she adds. I open my mouth and she grabs my chin. She snaps with her tongue. "Yeah, you’re in pretty bad shape." she lets go of my chin and a very pathetic sympathy smile finds her face. "Okay, we are going to hold you here for maybe two or three days. When you step from bed you might feel a little nausea and fatigue, really light headed. You've been out for two days." I roll my eyes to the TV that flashes cartoons on the screen.
"Can I have water?" my voice is horse and she stops smiling and bites her lip. I look to this necklace on her neck. She slowly pulls a hand to her neck and I look up to her eyes.
"For today, we are going to hold off on the water just so that you don't irritate anything." she steps back. "You aren't tired are you?"
"Okay, I'm going to help you from the bed and was going to go ahead and get your muscles going." I pull the cover from my legs and I slowly slide my legs down. I step onto the floor with her hand around my waist. She pulls the water bag and its stand closer to her wiggling the needle in my arm. I wince and my legs crack along with my spine. She smiles as I step forward. I feel like a baby as her hand rest on my waist.
"What happened?" I ask her as I take another step. Her hand tightens around the stand and she looks down at my feet. Her eyes flash back up at me.
"Well, your heart stopped for two minutes." she adds softly as I walk. My eyes widen and I groan as my ankle cracks. "I've been watching over you." she tells me. "Your brother never left your side." my stomach turns as she stops.
"I have to puke." I cry. I explode onto the ground. She shrieks trying to keep hold of my arm.
"Do you feel better?"
"I'm really hungry."
"You can't eat yet."
"So what do I do?" I cry. "I'm just going to sleep." I push her from me and I lay in bed pulling the cover over my head. She clears her throat as the door cracks.
"She just said she’d be going to sleep." I turn and look to him. Adam stands in the door way with a coat slung over his shoulder. He steps inside and sits beside me smiling as I pull the cover back over my head. The door shuts. He laughs and looks around the room. His scent dances around in my nose and every time he moves I get even more of his smell. I pull my hand to my cheek to rub the blushed red away.
"She’s gone now." he tells me. He flips through the channel on the TV. He groans. "Have you ever watched this?" I pull the cover from my head to see. One of those b horror movies plays. "This is great." a hand is thrown and I look to him. He sits in the chair beside me.
"Yesterday I went to go see a new movie. It was pretty awesome." He tells me. he breaths in and looks to me then the puke on the floor and he laughs lifting from the seat. He fiddles around for a couple of napkins and looks back as me as a man with a mop walks in. He lifts the clump into the trash can and he backs away for the man to mop.
"I messaged Ben. I asked him to bring your sneakers." He utters under his breath. I bite the inside of my cheek and look to the mop on the floor. It swirls around. I always use to watch my mother mop. It was always so fascinating. "Your parents put you back in school and stuff. You can ride with Ben and me instead of that stupid bus." he sits next to me again. He laughs. I look to the TV and he catches my gaze and laughs. "Oh gosh, I'm so lucky I get to skip out on swimming." I clear my throat. “I haven’t been okay since I started therapy and stuff.” He chuckles again
"Agnes and Agnes." he giggles. "This game me and my sister made up based on these two old people that were arguing about whether they should move their chairs away from the water at the beach one time." he clears his throat and looks to me. "They both are named Agnes and are extremely old. One invented everything, that’s me; the other says the other is lying about inventing stuff. They have a friend, Millicent who was put in a rest home called Sunny Hill. We often argue about how the other one is going to put the other one in Sunny Hill. They also have been known to lock each other up in dungeons for long periods of time." I smile as the words slip his mouth. "The 'youngster', our mother, always tells them to “quit playing”." I laugh as he chuckles. "We have old lady voices and everything. It's a lot of fun! I can't help but laugh, yeah my sister has a contagious laugh." he laughs.
"Okay Agnes." I laugh harder coughing as the laughs leave. He laughs with me making me laugh harder. I smiles and the smile won't leave my face. This strange combination of excitement fills my cheeks. I stop the laugh and I clear my throat and I look to the TV.
"There’s the other youngster now." he coos standing from his chair. Ben walks in putting a bag onto the bed. He sits in the other chair and eats a burger. He smiles toward Adam and throws crumpled up paper at him.
"How was your day?"
"My day was pretty good." Adam tells him. I slide back into the covers.
"How’s mom?" I ask Ben. I pull at the covers picking at its strings.
"I don't know. She's been ignoring me." He tells me in between bites.
"Is she going to come here?"
"no." he hums. "You know she hates hospitals."
"What about dad?" I ask and I pull my hand through my hair.
"No, he is not coming back." He tells me and he crumples up his bag and throws them into the trash bag. He pulls his phone from his pocket and types a little.
"Do they hate me?"
"No, they're just upset." He tells me. I look to Adam who watches TV.
"When can I go home?"
"You have to stay here for 72 hours." He mumbles in between texts. I look back to him and I glare at him. I glare at him because he isn’t helping me and like the rest of the world, he’s going to leave me here.
"That’s so stupid!" I cry. "Do they not want me anymore?"
"Killing yourself is also pretty stupid." He grumbles and scratches his jaw. I roll my eyes to the door.
"You’re such a scum bag."
"You’re a fucking loser, a sore fucking loser." He scoffs. He continues to type on his phone then yawns and scratches his head. He passes it out to Adam who lifts from the bed to grab it. He scrolls through the phone and smiles.
"Why don't you get out?" I groan. I hate when the two come into my space only to ignore me and even though it rarely ever happens, I still really hate it.
"I guess I would have to leave because you can't even fucking walk around without falling flat on your face." he stands from his chair and pulls off this fake laugh. "Now isn’t that so funny?"
"You’re such a jerk."
"You were going to kill yourself two days ago!" he exclaims. He runs a hand over his jaw turning from me.
"Okay, why don't we just stop arguing?" Adam tells him as he sits on the edge of the bed.
"Are you sticking up for her?” he asks Adam. “I feel like you’re sticking up for her.” He groans. He runs a hair through his filthy hair and scoffs under his breath.
"I guess I'll just leave." Adam stands.
“You’re such a fucking coward. You think that killing yourself is going to make you feel any better than how you feel now? WRONG!" Adam looks to me and scratches his head like a nervous tick.
"I'm going home." He hums underneath Ben’s freak out.
"Whatever." I tell him.
"Bye." He tells me. His eyes shoot to Ben totally dismissing my presence and I roll my eyes to the ceiling.
"Just leave." I voice to him. He groans and walks from the room. I turn through channels on the TV scratching below the IV in my arm. I groan as it itches. I try to ignore Ben who sits in the chair before me scrolling through his phone. He pulls his jacket over his head and lets out a muffled carp.
"I'm going to sleep." He mumbles.
"I hate you so much."
"Oh no, I might just go swallow a bottle of nail polish remover." He grinds.
"Stop making fun of me Ben!"
"So what I'm making fun of you." He suggests.
"Yeah, right after I tried to kill myself, is it not apparent to you that I would absolutely love to die because of the way you treat me?" I cry. "You’re such a dick!"
"Oh, and you're better than me huh?" I cringe as he slowly shuffles underneath the jacket.
"Stop it." I cry. "You’re not here for me! You're here so that you don't feel so guilty." I tell him. "Because you're the reason I did it and you know that you're the reason I started to hate my life. You've been there helping mom torture me.” I shriek pulling my hands through my hair. “I was completely fine before you started to care about my feelings. I was completely fine sitting all alone and cutting myself. I was completely fine having everyone ignore Me." he picks up his jacket and leaves me in the room alone.
A/N: Let me know if I'm lacking as much quality as the previous chapters... my brain has been somewhere else! URGH! I need to get a song for the trailer then I'll have that finished. let me know what you think and how you like it. THANKS FOR READING!
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