Once Loved Twice Broken

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fan Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 7 (v.1) - Chapter 7 ~ Frustrations and Realizations

Submitted: February 26, 2010

Reads: 335

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Submitted: February 26, 2010



I grab the robe off the end of the bed and quickly put it on.

I am so fucking pissed, I don't bother to look in his direction. I head into the bathroom and slam the door, locking it behind me.

I can't believe he fucked Victoria! My apartment manager.

How stupid am I?

I didn't even notice who she was at the mall.

And for her to say that shit ... she's going to have some serious explaining to do when I get home.

I might even have to move. I need to clear my head.

I bend down and turn on the hot water in the shower. 

This is too much all at once. I've been through this crap before. I'll be damn if I'm going to do it again. I can't handle another relationship like that. My heart can't stand anymore. I want someone who wants me and only me.

Is that so difficult to ask?

I remove the robe and step into the hot steamy shower.

The hot water instantly smoothing all my tense muscles, I take my time lathering up the lavender shampoo. Slowly yet thoroughly bathing myself with the freesia body wash I found in here.

Ridding myself of all of him.

After what could have been an hour, I turn off the cool water, and I realize I’m not as mad as earlier. Edward is a player, I knew that, and he is not Jake.

Victoria was before me.

So, why am I so fucking pissed? He brought me here for the weekend. Not her.

Son of a bitch...how many other women has he brought here?

I just don't understand, Alice said I made him feel like a new man. If he's still going to be the Notorious Edward Masen, what the hell was that all about then.

I feel sick, and so dumb to have not seen this coming. Its like a battering ram just came full speed, right into me.

I need to make up my mind.

Do I go back out there and just deal with this shit?

Or, do I just leave and go home? Going back to my regular non-Edward life. 

As I step out of the shower I notice my duffel bag is now on the floor.

Did he bring it in to me? On the counter he left me my towel, too.

Music starts to come from outside the bathroom.

I dry myself off, brush my teeth and hair. I dig through my duffel bag and grab my pink and black boxer shorts and my baby tee. I put my clothes on and leave the bathroom.

Not paying any attention to him or the wonderful music that is playing.

I head to the bedroom door to leave, grabbing my clothes off the floor and stuffing them in my bag.

The music stops. "Damn it! I'm sorry baby." he whispers to me.

I look around the room not realizing earlier just how gorgeous, and generous of a bedroom we are in.

When I turn to look at him, he’s on the other side of the room by a fireplace sitting at a black baby-grand piano. The music must have come from there, because it’s stops. I didn't know he could play.

Feeling a bit awkward, for trying to turn and leave, since he did just apologize.

I know from this moment on, I will never be able to stay mad at him for long. I walk over, and stand next to him.

The look on his face is cautious yet very open. His eyes are a little glossy but very warm and inviting.

I don't know what to say to fix this.

Do I even want to fix this?

This isn't even a thing yet to fix. So why bother worrying right now.

I need to hear what he has to say, and then make my decision.

I am at the side of the piano just standing here waiting for him to speak.

He slides over on the piano bench and pats the spot next to him and says, "Please sit baby girl". I sit down and look into his eyes. 

"Fuck, baby I'm so sorry." He says, with a frustrated look on his face.

"I had no idea that you knew Victoria! But baby"....he turns towards me grabbing my hand in his. "She's in the past and your my present and hopefully my f...."he cuts himself off looking away. 

He sighs.

I become more frustrated.

"Hopefully your what Edward?" I say leaning my head to try to look in his eyes.

I sigh with annoyance.

He looks up at me with, almost, questioning eyes. "Hopefully my future?"

Is he asking me a question or making a statement of what he wants?

I feel ballsier than usually. So I lay it all out there for him, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It won't hurt, better to know now than later.

I look him dead on.

"I don't want any games. I want a man who's going to be with me and me alone. In my past I have dated that 'it' guy before and it all did was cause me heartache. I have a hole in my heart that may never be filled again. I’ve dealt with enough heartache in my life. So, unless you are going to completely commit to me. We might as well end this here. Admit to enjoying the few enchanted encounters we have had, and be done." I lay it all out to him being self assertive and now knowing just what I want.

A hint of a smile forms in one of the corners of his mouth.

"So it's all of you or nothing at all, Right?" he asks me.

"All or nothing!" I repeat. Did he not understand me? Did I fucking studder? 

I can see he's pondering something in that sexy mind of his. I giggle to myself. If he thinks any harder I'm afraid smoke might steam out of his ears.

"I'm glad you think this is so fucking funny!" he exclaims getting up off his seat, starting to pace back and forth.

I’ve come to my conclusion, I can see that this is not going to work out between us. If he has to think this hard about it, I’m not the girl for him.

I thought he felt the same way I did. This shouldn’t be such a difficult request.

I'm done!

I get up and grab my bag and head out of the bedroom leaving him still pacing back and forth. I descend the stairs to find a phone. Maybe Alice could come pick me up?

I hear a loud boom from behind me when I reach the final step of the stairs.

When I turn around, Edward is kneeling right there, next to staircase.

What the hell! Did he just jump down from the landing?

Who is he Spiderman? I slightly shake my head ignoring that ridiculous thought.

He stands up and grabs my hand yanking me closer to him.

Holy shit!

He doesn't want me to go.

Thinking to myself, ‘Oh, Edward please, choose all of me. I want all of you. You just don't know it. I want every part of you, the player and the good guy. I would rather fight with you any day than ever make love to anyone else.’

Of course I can't tell him that, though.

He runs his hands through my hair and rests his forehead on mine looking into my eyes.

He sighs.

"I want all of you Baby Bella!" he whispers to me.

Gently cupping my cheeks, he kisses me.

I close my eyes and I'm in my own personal dream world.

Its just me and Edward laying on a blanket surrounded my snow and gazing up at the beautiful dark blue open sky with tiny sparkling stars above us. Shining just enough to illuminate every perfect line of his face.

I know I could never feel this way about another man in my life.

I feel like he put a spell on me.

Edward and I are fated to be together.

I know this but does he?

Is he really ready for this?

"Are you sure?" I ask him shyly.

"I have never been more sure about anything baby," he whispers quietly, yet stern.

He sighs.

At this moment in time I know I am unequivocally and irrevocably in love with him.

There will never be anyone else for me, only Edward. When he smiles at me its like my own personal ray of sunshine. I couldn't be happier than I am with him right now. I look into his stunning green eyes and all is right in my world.

I can tell he wants to say more, but there is something stopping him.

"What is it Edward?" I ask him.

He looks up at me, with scared little boy eyes. ‘What is he thinking about, that could make him look like this.’ I wonder.

He takes a deep breath and sighs.

"I haven't known you very long but....." he trails off grabbing my hands and looking deeply in to my eyes.

I'm kind of nervous....OMG!

"I am completely in love with you." he proclaims.

I am speechless...

I can't do anything but stare at him.

I have no fucking clue what to say.

Do I feel the same? Of course I feel the same but....

He loves me! Eeeeeeee....No he's in love with me.

I see he is getting anxious for me to respond.

I'm just..........Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeck!!!

"Please say something!" he pleads.

I take in a deep breath lowering my head and sigh.

I want to do my little happy dance. Hell yeah wooooooohooooooooooo he loves me and I love him.

Feeling giddy as a school girl, I peer up from under my eye lashes at him.

Throwing my arms around his I shout, "I love you too Edward." as I press my lips to his. I slightly open my mouth to let his tongue venture to find mine.

We fit so damn perfectly.

Then my doubt sets back in.

This was Jake and I all over again. I need to find out more about him and Victoria. For my peace of mind. I need the whole damn story and the truth. I want us to work.

"We need to talk," I whisper still kissing him.

He slowly pulls away and gives me a peck on the end of my nose. He takes my hand and leads me down into the living room. Guiding me to the ‘C’ shaped butterscotch colored couch. He sits down.

I sit down folding my legs into an Indian style position, next to him.

I take in a deep breath holding it in for a fraction of a second and begin my questioning.

"Do you still care for her?" I ask.

Woo....first question is always the hardest.

"No, I don't." he answers.

I sigh with relief.

"Were you two serious?" I ask

"Ha, ha, ha, she wished!" he laughs out.

Is he really that insensitive?

"What was Victoria to you?" I ask.

He sighs and I see him ponder this question.

"We were together off and on for about two years in high school. We were both seniors but she was a year old than me. We haven't been together in over a year, Bella." he claims.

I am appalled!

I thought he said it wasn't serious.

He better have a good excuse!

"You said it wasn't serious. Two fucking years is pretty serious Edward!" I exclaim, with a bitchy tone on my voice.

With my eye brow raised and my arms folded across my chest I glare at him.


"Oh baby it wasn't shit. We were in fucking high school like I said. We were off and on all the time. I swear she doesn't mean shit to me." he states.

I have to believe and trust what he's telling me, or all of this will be for nothing.

Should I take a leap of faith?

I take a deep breath and hold it in.

I love him though. Being with him is like being home. Comfortable and safe feeling. We can do this. I know we can.

I place my hand over my heart and say, "As long as you and her are 100% over, I'm all yours."

I adjust my position and I get off the couch. Not really knowing what I want to do.

Hmmmmmmmm...maybe a tour of this beautiful cabin.

"Seeing as how I have only seen two rooms of your house, How about show me around," I ask batting my eye lashes with a sweet smile.

He immediately stands.

"Shit that's right." grabbing my hand he leads me from the living room and on a tour.

Wow everything in this cabin is so beautiful and perfectly refined. Very comfortable but extravagant yet contemporary all at the same time. Every room is different, the dining room is lavished in wild aura's of fresh flowers with a gothic style table w/ matching chairs. The kitchen has a modern Italian feel to it with glass counters and dark black cupboards with dried rosemary leaves and sage hanging along the wall. The bar arranged with a full stock of any damn liquor from the cheapest bottle of Absolute vodka to expensive bottles of Crystal. Each of the bedrooms had its owner. Frankly it wasn't hard to figure out who's room was who's in this house. Alice's room was decked out with sheer pink/ red curtains and pillows all over the room. It looked like the pink panther had thrown up in her room, but that was Alice. Emmett's room was very manly and sporty with a side of female, signed Brett Favre Green Bay Jersey hung on the wall along side a life size wall portrait of Rose with only a leopard skin blanket covering her body.

I counted five bedrooms in all when we came to a closed door on the other side of the house.

Down a metal spiral staircase, I am lead out into a magnificent outdoor cabana with a hot tub and swimming pool. Down the hill you can clearly see a basketball court. Wild flowers arranged ever so perfectly around the property.

As the day goes on we talk some more but mostly we just enjoy each others company. Later in the evening he prepares a wonderful Italian pasta dish that is literally mouth watering delicious. Who would have guessed Edward Masen to be such a great cook. Later, we sit in front of the fireplace at his piano as he, tries, and I use the term tries very loosely because I have no sense of rhythm when it comes to playing musical instruments especially, the piano.

As child, my mother wanted me to learn to play the violin. I tried, there’s that word again, and everytime I played my father always commented on how it sounded like cat's being strangled. So I gave that up and joined the choir. If there was one thing I was really great at, it was singing. People always said I was a mix between Mariah and Whitney. Luckily my voice paid off because I got a full ride through college for it.

Today is our last day here and I’d already finished packing my bag. As the Edward walks in with his arm behind his back, like the cat that ate the canary. Obviously hiding something I run over to him and try to get whatever it is out of his hand.

"Silly Bella." he snickers as he brings his hand in front of him.

"A beautiful lily for my baby," he shares.

Awww....grabbing my lily I bring it to my nose and inhaling its sweet smell. Edward makes everything smell so much more vivid. Its amazing and perfect, as perfect at this weekend.

"Thank you," I tell him throwing my arms and his neck and gently laying pecks on it.

"Uh...Baby girl unless you wanna miss your classes I suggest you stop that," he insinuates.

Being the sarcastic person I am I strike back, "Classes? What classes?" He chuckles.

After a few more kisses, he grabs our bags, snatches up my hand and we head down stairs to leave our heavenly weekend behind.

Before he closes the door I grab his phone out of his pocket lean into his head and snap a picture.

I label our picture as Forever.

On our drive home, back to Seattle I reminise about our weekend. 

We took numerous hikes up into the mountains, scoping out beautiful waterfalls, and mountain springs. Edward took me on my first canoe ride, and we went fishing too. The whole weekend spent was engulfing nature, and each other. Truth be told I'm not a nature person but Mount Forgotten is exquisite and with Edward by my side, made everything that much more exciting.

We make a short pit stop at the same Mom and Pop's gas station. Edward asks me to go pay while he pumps. Feeling less nervous now I gladly oblige. He hands me fifty bucks and tells me to fill her up and get some goodies for the ride home. 

Walking up to the store I glance to my right and notice a red mustang. 

Jake's face flashes in my mind.

What are the chances?

Nah, I tell myself there's a thousand of those car's driving around.

Entering the store I accidentally bump into someone.

Not bothering to look up I apologize and go straight for the frig's in the back.

"B!" he exclaims.

I know that voice...OMG! no. no. no. No!

Shock sets in.

I look up and the first face I see his.

Jacob. Fucking. Black.

As he is throwing his arms around me for a hug, Edward walks through the door. 

Edward glares at this strange man with arms around me, his new love.

This is not going to be good I think to myself. The expression on Edward's face fills with rage.

OMG.......Edward NO!!!!!!!!!! 

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