Chapter 3: Dominate me!

Who believes that the world is always out to get them?

not I, since I believe I decide...

I just have to conquer myself... Not Hard...

I linger at the mirror, a reflection in my view;
I wish you to be nearer; I sigh & think of you...
A promise I comply with; From deep within my soul;
5 things to say: Not myth, to compliment my goal...
How well I have remembered, the way he made me feel;
My self-worth he tendered; My honor makes it real...
This poem I freely offer... Cement to strengthen wall;
Advise that I do profer; Always ever conquer all.

Dedicated this night to one whose promise I honor...

***

"If you can't win the battle with yourselves to honestly look in the mirror for the 90 day challenge..." He said, slowly & clearly, "...Then go on home & never come back...I don't have time for you..." With that he pointed at the sign on the wall on which was printed in big letters;

"She who can not win in the battle over her own self will never win in any contest or competition with others, since she's already given up the fight..."

Then, nodding his head, he gave a little gesture with his hand, turned & slowly walked back through the same door he had just come in... It was very sudden, leaving most of us to stare at his more than attractive backside as he turned & walked away...

Surprisingly, more than half of the very lovely ladies still with us here in the room, started whispering negative comments to one another, & most immediately left to go home... They were saying things like; "This is crazy", "How can he ask us to do something so stupid sounding as that?" "I think this guy's nuts..." "Let's get out of here..." "I don't think I can handle that..."  "Are you going to put up with this sh*t..." "I can not take that much time every morning to do something as silly as to look in the mirror & stand there thinking up stuff about myself..." "Who does this jerk think he is anyway?" "I thought we'd get layed..." "I think it's a scam..." "I don't know, I don't think it's worth it..."  "My parents told me it'd be something like this..."

I happened to be very close to the door he walked through as he left, & I watched him out of the corner of my eye... ...He was laughing... It made me mad, the door was unlocked, so I followed him, & as soon as I had left the room, the door having closed behind me, he stopped & asked, without turning around, "Why did you follow me little one?"

I suddenly had lots of butterfly's in my stomach... 'I thought I saw you laughing, & it kind of made me mad...' "Good for you", he said, "There's hope then, that at least one of all these women who think that they truly want something, is worthy & capable of actually getting it... I'm impressed with you little one, but, I have to leave you now... You have yet to prove yourself, & are still not ready for the rewards that your search for something better will eventually bring..."

'But why did you laugh at us?' I questioned, not wanting to see him go, "You misunderstand my sweet, I'm not laughing at you, or at any of you, only the silly comments, they always make... The lack of desire... They say they want to grow, to get better, to recieve love, & know how to give it... Yet they are not even willing to take on the task of self-mastery... To conquer their poor self-images, the prisons of their own minds... Those with which they hold themselves prisoners... These very things that are the most damaging... They consist of the worst & biggest things that are, in fact, holding them back from achieveing their greatest achievements. Also, the very things others judge them by, the things that keep them from being treated better, from recieving higher wages, & getting more working hours on their jobs... Those doubts & fears stop them from seeing more envious looks from other women, & getting more attention from men... Everything... Most just don't get it... Will you...?"

He didn't wait for a reply, he just walked through another door, a locked door, but I caught a glimpse of the room, it was dark, & it had a one-way glass mirror, through which he sat & watched the women in the other room...

I made a mental determination, I'd win this competition... No one could stop me, since it was a battle of the wills more than anything else, & I had plenty of will... (When I set my mind to it...) I couldn't help turning my head back however, to look back at the mirror... Just one little look..., But, I'm afraid I didn't feel very sure of myself, when I thought I heard again the little laugh of the Master as he caught me looking back, & he sensed my self doubt... Why do I do those kinds of things? Am I really that weak? ...I won't lose the battle within me, I told myself... I can't; I need to grow, I need to feel better about me...

"...Control of one's self first... Then looking to see how one can control one's environment... That is the only way to true success..."

If you are liking this series, I'd like to have your feedback & comments... I don't have much time right now, so I'm only going to continue if I see that there seems to be a good demand for it...