I arrived on time at Chance’s and got out the car seats and diaper bag and walked up the front steps and rang the doorbell. Chloe opened the door “Hey Kels, come on in.” She said and I followed her into the living room. Maddie, Danielle, and Julie were on the couch with Gavin. “Hey Kels. My mom is in the kitchen.” He said “Okay.” I said “Mom, Kelsey is here.” Gavin said and I heard footsteps. “Oh my, they have grown. Can I hold Caitlin?” she asked me “Yes ma’am.” I said giving Caitlin over to Mrs. Lynnwood. “Can I hold Caylee?” Chloe asked me “Yeah.” I said “Be gentle with Caylee.” I said “I will.” Chloe said and she smiled at me. “Chance is in his room. He wanted to see you.” Mrs. Lynnwood said “Okay.” I said not trusting him or Gavin. I trust the girls and Mr. Lynnwood just not the boys. “Go on, he knows that if he touches you he will be in jail.” Mrs. Lynnwood said and I only nodded.
I slowly got up and walked up the steps and knocked on Chance’s door. “Come in.” He said and I walked in, I shook. It brought back bad memories being in here. “You wanted to see me?” I asked “Yeah, I wanted to personally say I’m sorry about last summer. I’m bipolar and I didn’t take my medicine so I wasn’t myself and I get violent when I don’t take my medicine. The cheating part I still would have done. But not the abuse or the raping.” Chance said “I understand Chance.” I said “I’m also in anger management now. Getting the help I need.” He said “That’s good Chance.” I said “I don’t want to turn out to be a monster. I really didn’t mean to.” He said and I nodded.
“It’s hard you know. This past year has been hard on me Chance. Dealing with my junior year being pregnant, working as many hours as I could, going to school, still making decent grades. Then giving birth, having to struggle with school, and taking care of two little girls. I now work two jobs just so I don’t depend on my parents. I hate depending on my parents Chance. They didn’t ask to be grandparents. I didn’t ask to be a mother at seventeen.” I said “I know and I’m sorry for that Kelsey. My therapist Scott said that if I keep making the progress then I should be safe to spend time with the girls if you allow. But not to push it, because I need to give you time. I want to be there for the girls and you Kelsey. I honestly do love you.” Chance said and that caught me off guard. “Maybe we can be friends for the sake of the girls. Your mother adores them.” I said trying to be strong and mentally figuring out when I can see Charlie again.
Chance walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, I wanted to resist but didn’t because I didn’t want to trigger anything. “I’m so sorry Kelsey.” He said and I felt his body shake, I looked up to see tears running down his face. “I screwed up our lives.” He said “You did not. Things are different for me, but your life is the same.” I said “No, knowing I hurt the girl I have loved since fourth grade. Making her a parent before she is ready to be one isn’t okay.” Chance said and I nodded, I hugged him. I didn’t want to but I did. He looked me in the eyes and kissed my lips. I pulled away “I have to go check on the girls.” I said and he nodded “I will be down in a minute.” He said and I nodded. I walked down to seeing Chloe playing with Caitlin and Mrs. Lynnwood playing Caylee. “Chance said he would be down in a minute.” I said and Mrs. Lynnwood nodded. Caylee started crying “I will take her.” I said and she nodded “Where can I change her at?” I asked “My room.” Maddie said “Okay, lead the way Maddie.” I said getting a diaper and baby wipes. “Can you carry these?” I asked and Maddie nodded I carried Caylee into her room. She handed me a towel to put down. She sat at the foot of her bed “Chance has changed over the year. He’s back on his medicine. We all miss you around.” She said.
I took off Caylee’s bloomer and unstrapped her diaper; I lifted up her legs and cleaned her butt with a baby wipe. I put the new diaper on her and put her bloomer back on her and had her on my lap. “I miss you girls and your dad.” I said and she smiled at me “Chloe is friends with Summer, Danielle is friends with Autumn. I hang out with Landon at school.” Maddie said and I smiled “Let’s go back out.” I said carrying Caylee, and the dirty diaper. I walked into the kitchen to throw the diaper away and walked back to the living room. Mrs. Lynnwood had Caitlin in her arms smiling at her. We heard footsteps and Chance came down.
“Would you like to hold Caylee?” I asked “I don’t want to hurt her.” Chance said and I smiled “Chance, I thought the same thing when they were born. So small, so fragile. I thought I would break them if I held them. Now they are almost three months old, spoiled rotten. You won’t hurt her.” I said scooting over so Chance could sit down. I gently handed Caylee over to Chance who smiled at Caylee “I’m your dad.” Chance said and oddly enough I smiled at him holding Caylee. I wouldn’t trust him alone with the girls but it was nice. Throughout the visit they took turn holding the girls, when Mr. Lynnwood came home he held Caylee.
I got a text at six: Are you coming home? I looked up “I need to head on home.” I said “Thank you for bringing the girls over Kelsey.” Mrs. Lynnwood said “No problem. It was actually nice.” I said and she smiled at me. I got the girls in the car seat and carried them to the car. Chance came out and helped me “Are you working tomorrow?” I asked him “No.” He said “Come over around noon.” I said “You sure?” He asked “Yeah, but be warned.” I said and he nodded. When I got home I told my parents and although my dad wasn’t thrilled he nodded.
I woke up at six to the girls crying, changed them and fed them and placed them in the playpen. And I went to my room real quick, I got my book that Molly got me and read the following for what they should be doing: 3 months: raise head when on stomach, will reach for objects while lying on back, lifts head and chest when laying on stomach, rests on arms, rolls side-to side, hands mostly unfisted, small circular limb movement, explores own body, increased eye contact, listens to music, facial expressions, mimics other facial. Increased awareness, interest, Communication, varied types of crying, ahh sounds.
Around noon Chance arrived and it was around their feeding time “come on.” I said leading him into the kitchen. “Here’s Caitlin. You hold the bottle like this, and when she’s halfway done you burp her.” I said and he nodded. “They will raise head when on their stomach, will reach for objects while lying on back, lifts head and chest when laying on stomach, rests on arms, rolls side to side, hands will mostly be unfisted, small circular limb movements, they will explore their own body, increased eye contact, will listen to music, facial expressions will increase, mimics other facial expression, increased awareness, and interest.” I said and Chance looked at me “What?” He asked “that’s their progress when they are three months old.” I said and Chance nodded. “Am I doing it right?” Chance asked me “Yeah.” I said smiling at him, I don’t trust him enough but I want him to be a part of their life. My dad came in and nodded “I’m going to the baseball game with Bryan, Landon, and Logan. I will see you later. Chance I have people watching you.” My dad said and I nodded “be nice dad.” I said and he smiled “I don’t want you to get hurt.” He said “He’s different daddy.” I said “Yes sir, I am.” Chance said and I smiled.
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