Chapter 1: Beating The Player

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 14425
Comments: 20


“Ugh, I am never drinking again!” My best friend, Mikki, exclaimed on the other end of the phone.

I laughed while opening my locker, “can I get that in writing?”

“Only if it will stop this fucking woodpecker in my head.” She groaned.

“I did tell you to take it easy on the tequila shots,” I pointed out to her while grabbing my notebook and textbook.

“After the eighth beer, I remember nothing.” Mikki was never really good with handling her alcohol well. “How are you feeling, Nick, I forgot to ask.

“Just swell!” I chirped happily in her ear, just because I knew it would piss her off. The truth was I had a slightly pounding head and a churning stomach, but nothing a greasy burger and some Advil couldn’t cure.

“Oh go fuck yourself!” I could hear some murmuring on her end of the phone. “Dean says to say hi.”

“Hi Dean!!” I shouted, mainly so he could hear me and also to piss off Mikki.

“Just because you two can hold alcohol like a fucking 300 pound six foot seven man doesn’t mean you have to torture me, for fuck sakes.” Mikki grumbled.

I laughed, “Mik, we do weekend benders as often as we change our socks, we just assumed you’d be used to it by now.”

“Yeah, well-” Mikki was cut off by the sound of their school’s bell ringing. Two beats after, ours rang. “That’s our cue. Talk to you later Nikki.”

“You bet.” I tapped the end button on my phone and put it in the pouch of my hoodie as I entered English.

“Where were you this weekend? I tried to get a hold of you and see if you could work for me.” Amanda, a girl in my class and also a coworker, asked me.

“Oh, I was out of town, sorry.” It was partially true, I was out of town, I just left out the part where I was with Dean and Mikki partying all of Saturday and Sunday. You see, I prefer to keep my life exactly that- my life. I spend a lot of my time in Glendale, where Mikki and Dean live, because frankly, Brookside is full of cliques I have no interest in getting involved in. And because Brookside is such a small town it seems there’s only one important clique, the “it” or “popular” group, and if you’re not in that (like me) life is pretty dull. Try explaining that to the popular people, though, there’s a big task for you.

The second bell rang, signaling the start of class. This didn’t stop the rest of the class from discussion their weekends. From what I overheard, Ryan had people over at his house on Saturday night. Ryan is my neighbor and one of the main members of the popular group in Brookside High School. He’s pretty typical, short and spiked blond hair, light blue eyes, slight tan, as well as an above average physique from his participation in various sports. To put the cherry on top, his girlfriend, Brittani, is a walking, talking Barbie doll. You think I’m kidding but I’m not. She has bright blue eyes, naturally long eyelashes, not so natural bleach blond hair with added hair extensions, and to top it off she had a rack that you’d think was fake.

Our teacher, Miss Monique, entered which lowered the volume in the room just a tad.

“Alright, guys!” She grabbed some papers from her desk and started handing them out. Students began turning to face the front and open their books. “We’re going to do something a little stimulating to wake you up this lovely Monday morning!” She continued up and down the rows, placing a paper on each student’s desk.

“Someone got laid last night.” Someone mumbled under their breath referring to Miss Monique’s mood, only loud enough for a few people to hear.

I looked at my paper on my desk. “Debate” was written in bold at the top. Underneath were a bunch of controversial topics. One was highlighted, abortion.

“Alright, everyone have a look at the papers in front of you. There’s one other person in the class with the same controversial topic highlighted as yours. You’ll team up with that person and for five minutes and decide who’s going to pick what side and you can start writing down points.”

Chairs screeched across the floor along with their attached desks. I looked around to find Ryan only to see he already had his desk a foot from my left. We momentarily exchanged a glance before he placed his desk right up against mine on the left, trapping me in.

“I want to fight against it.” I told him not bothering with pleasantries. I wasn’t exactly his greatest fan. Not that I knew him well, I just knew what he was like.

“Good, because I want to fight for it.” He retorted with about as much interest as I had used with him.

I glanced over and slightly rolled my eyes. Of course he would want to defend it. I mean with the option of abortion, he could pretty much have sex with any girl he pleases. Granted, he already does.

“Of course you do,” I mumbled to myself.

“What?” He inquired.

“Nothing,” I replied, “let’s get this over with.”



“Get over it Ry, it was just an assignment, Jesus.” Shaylynn said over her shoulder at her brother.

“Yeah, but she’s still wrong!” Ryan pointed at me walking beside his sister.

“So what if Nikki was wrong?” Shaylynn asked, “if you really thought that, you wouldn’t be fighting it so much.” Then she looked at me, “I’ve got to get to History, see you later.” And with that she bounded down the hall. Leaving me with Ryan himself.

“You’re wrong,” Ryan spat out, for the millionth time.

I stopped at my locker, “Ryan, if you’re going to keep talking to me, we need a new subject.”

He leaned against the lockers, his shoulder blades pressed against the metal. “Alright, what’d you do this weekend?”

I hesitated, “Uh, just, you know, hanging out.”

“It was kind of shocking to see you weren’t at the gas station.” He noted.

“Yeah, I didn’t work this weekend, I was in Glendale.” I switched out notebooks and closed my locker. Why did it seem like he was taking an interest now? I didn’t think he even knew I had a job at the gas station.

“Glendale? What’s in Glendale?” His shock mixed with disgust was expected; the two towns have been rivals for a long time now.

“Just some friends.” I replied. “We really need to get to class before we’re late.” I commented, mainly to take some of the pressure off.

Submitted: June 22, 2014

© Copyright 2022 SuzanneE. All rights reserved.


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Add Your Comments:



yeah,interesting and nice start
i agree with Puppet that you should make a quick review to help out the small errors.
keep writing.

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 1:48am


Thank you so much. Definitely will try to fix up some errors! Thank you again so much for reading!!! -Suz

Sun, June 22nd, 2014 7:42pm

Lisa Ayers

Hi Suz, ah the ever dreadful "it" group. I used to dislike when I was paired up with somebody in the class. Interesting that Ryan took an interest suddenly in what he did for the weekend.
I think you are off to a great start.

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 1:39pm


Thank you so much for the feedback Lisa! I really appreciate it! -Suz

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 8:40am


This was AMAZING! Everything flowed so smoothly the characters all had their own personality! I liked that Ryan was pretty adaptable to the situation by being so heated about the argument earlier to being interested in Nick. I also like the fact that Nick isn't swooning over him or making googly eyes or anything she's her own woman with her own job and everything else and that is FREAKING awesome! Your way with words is amazing and so is your punctuation! I wish I could be as good a writer as you! Like the people above me said the ending was a little abrupt but this was still an AMAZING start to your little novel here I will def be keeping up. I also LOVE the way you explain what people are doing while they are talking to each other, I struggle with that a little bit but you did an amazing job at it! God you're such a good writer Suz where have you been hiding? lol

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 2:36pm


Ahaha thank you soooo much for this comment! My heart just melts when I see paragraphs in my honour

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 9:03am

Eden L

Hm, interesting start to a novel! XD I like how you displayed the characters a bit so we can get a basic knowledge of them. :P Looking forward to where things are headed! XD Awesome! KMU please! :D

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 2:53pm


Awee, thank you so much Eden! I will definitely let you know when I get the next chapter up! -Suz

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 9:03am


Not really my cuppa tea but nevertheless I shall give you some thoughts. I feel like you're telling too much and by that I'm referring to the age old line of 'show, don't tell.' I feel like it needs just a little bit of revision and tweaked so that instead of telling reader's what's happening that they can see it and feel more involved in the story. Perhaps a little more prose between the dialogue could help as well. You know show more of the five basic senses: what can the character see, smell, hear, taste (less commonly used but can be used in sentences like: 'I bit my tongue and tasted the metallic tang of fresh blood.'), feel, and feel doesn't always have to be what the character feel'physical or what the character touches with their hand. It can be internal like gut-wrenching anxiety, butterflies in the stomach or even more basic like just being straight up pissed off but in that case I'd use some physicality to add depth and I'm rambling again..... That's my thoughts anyway. Good luck and enjoy your writing! -Red

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 9:59pm


Thanks so much for the feedback! Thank you so much for the tips and pointers, I will definitely try and incorporate it into my future chapters! (: -Suz

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 3:06pm


your personality are awesome I love the way the interact I think the book is comical when it come to your character nikki especially the opening it a real hook to catch your reader

Tue, June 24th, 2014 12:56am


Thank you so much for the feedback! -Suz

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 6:31pm


I love the characters....I like the opening it was really funny.It has a nice flow to it and it's very interesting....I would like to read more of this :)

Tue, June 24th, 2014 4:59am


Awww thank you sooooo much! You totally rocked my night! -Suz

Mon, June 23rd, 2014 10:13pm

Porcelain Jane

I love the way you mesh the story together especially with the types of characters you've created

Tue, June 24th, 2014 11:05am


Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to read this! -Suz

Tue, June 24th, 2014 9:54am


great story I love it you should check out my page and read my book its not my fault thank u and have a wonderful fabulous day :)

Tue, June 24th, 2014 6:07pm


I will definitely do so! Thank you so much for taking the time to read! -Suz

Tue, June 24th, 2014 11:15am


This seems like a really good start! I wonder how this will continue. So exciting! Great writing you have a very interesting writing style. I have read a lot but yours is good so don't worry! Keep me updated :)

Tue, June 24th, 2014 9:52pm


Awe thank you so much! Your comment and read means the world to me! -Suz

Tue, June 24th, 2014 2:56pm

Jonathan DeLacuso

This is a pretty good start. You set up your characters nicely and allowed them too introduce themselves. I understand this the first part of a new novel and I can understand why it feels a bit quick. I agree with Redelilei that you would benefit greatly from adding some longer intermissions in between the dialogues (kind like in My reality where the pictures overflew the dialogue). But you di manage to capturw a certain charm with this story. I actually don'tmind the dialogue as it is a good tool to introduce your characters. And besides starting a novel is a lot harder than writing a short story (i personally have started thre novels here and abandond two of them) but this is not a bad start. It is well written has a good plot and a very likeable character. Just watch out for the pacing an it will be great :D

Tue, June 24th, 2014 10:18pm


Thanks so much for the feedback! I appreciate it! (: -Suz

Tue, June 24th, 2014 3:30pm


Cool comversation, everything is awsome. I wish I could drink with mik.

Wed, June 25th, 2014 6:40am


Aha! Mikki is quite the character! Thanks a lot for reading! -Suz

Wed, June 25th, 2014 10:50am


I really liked the start of this!!!! It was something I haven't really seen before!!!! It was cool getting to hear about some of the characters before Nikki had to go to school!!! Also, did like, Mikki and Nikki s' moms know each other and were like - "we should name our children something close!!!!" Sorry, I am not trying to offend you or anything, I just find it interesting that these to friends have similar names!!!!! I really like how Nikki was NOT happy at all to work with him. Most of the stories have it to where the one girl gets to work with the guy who she secretly likes him or whatever. Right? Have you read one like that? Anyway, I like the way you ended the chapter, it seemed a good place to pause and let the readers take in what just happened! I have really enjoyed this chapter and now I'm hooked on the story! Please keep me updated, and I'll try not to give you a speech as a review!!!!

Wed, June 25th, 2014 10:18am


No, no I love speech reviews!!! Haha, and yeah I honestly didn't realize what I did there with the names until 3/4 of the way through the chapter. Granted their real names are Nicole and Mikayla haha... maybe I'll clear that up in the next chapter! Thanks so much for reading! -Suz

Wed, June 25th, 2014 10:52am


Okay, I'm subbed; invested and care about the characters. More!

Thu, June 26th, 2014 8:11am


Awesome! That's what I love to hear! Thank you so much for reading -Suz

Thu, June 26th, 2014 10:39am


Hello, I read your request and the name sounded very interesting so I have had a look and well... I LOVE it. I like the way you are writing it and as i am reading the chapter i feel like i am standing there listening to everything that is being said. This is something definitely people would do in High school. I can't wait to read chapter 2. Thank you for the reading request. :)~Anniebirnie~:)

Thu, June 26th, 2014 4:00pm


Awe thank you so much sweetie! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! You're definitely welcome! -Suz

Thu, June 26th, 2014 10:42am


Hi! This is a Good start. I like how you give your characters time and introduce them accordingly. Ryan seems like the typical douche but I'm sure something might happen between Niki and Ryan? I'm already shipping for the two HAHA! Loved the chapter. I like how Miss Monique is a totally 'No-Nonsense' teacher. The dialogues were easy and fun to read, very realistic. I like this story so far and will read on :) A LIKE from me.

Thu, June 26th, 2014 9:55pm


Thank you so much Kash! This means a lot coming from a books famous writer like yourself! -Suz

Thu, June 26th, 2014 9:02pm


Nice beginning, it was pretty interesting. Loved the characters so far. Nice way to describe Ryans gf haha

Fri, June 27th, 2014 3:37am


Haha thanks so much! Hope you continue reading! -Suz

Thu, June 26th, 2014 9:05pm


Love this beginning. I'm hooked!

Fri, June 27th, 2014 6:21pm


Awe thanks so much! Hope you keep reading! -Suz

Fri, June 27th, 2014 1:28pm


Very intriguing! Your off to a great start!

Fri, June 27th, 2014 10:36pm


Thank you so much! -Suz

Fri, June 27th, 2014 8:23pm


Great start.

Sat, June 28th, 2014 10:01pm


Thank you! :) -Suz

Sun, June 29th, 2014 11:40am

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