Have you ever felt like you were completely trapped? Isolated from the world... People passing you day by day, not even bothering to look up for one moment, just to see what’s right in front of
their faces. Sometimes, I just want to snap. Just grab them, and shake the stupid right out of them. Make them care. Humans. They can’t care. They don’t care. Those people only pretend to love you,
and when you’re not worth anything to them anymore, you’re just put aside.
That’s the reason I’m like this. It’s their fault. They just couldn’t leave nature alone, could they? They had to tamper with it. Fuck up everything we have all worked for! Just because this one person didn’t want to make two trips, and decided it would be smart to pick up four containers of acid... I just so happened to walk by at the wrong time.
Now, I’m blind.
‘’...and the surgery cost will be covered by your insurance, so no need to worry.’‘
For the 3rd time this week, my mother and I were sitting in Ms. McGraw’s office while discussing my medical issues. The topic of surgical help has been put on the table many times, but never really been looked into. But now our insurance is finally in check, and we can afford it.
The question is... Do I want to take it? I’m horribly afraid of surgery and needles. Hospitals in general scare the living shit out of me. Before I could even open my mouth to tell McGraw this topic would surely be discussed, my mom accepted without hesitation.
She signed the papers.
‘’How exactly will this be done?’‘ I tried to make my voice as solid as a rock, but it came out weak and frightened.
Rebecca, the young nurse that was prepping me for surgery gently pushed away a strand of hair, and placed it behind my ear. I could feel a reassuring smile radiating off her.
‘’Everything will be okay. The doctor has done this surgery many times, and I will be right there, by your side.’‘
‘’That makes me feel a little better,’‘ the lie slipped off my lips smoothly.
She didn’t buy it.
Is it weird that during the surgery, I felt everything? The feeling of knives digging into my skin, the slight taste of blood in the back of my throat. It was all very horrible. I wanted to scream, but I could barely get my mouth opened. No sound came out.
It wasn’t until the doctor spoke up that I knew I could hear, too.
‘’Someone please hand me the bionic eyes.’‘
Wait... Bionic? What the hell did we sign for!?
‘’Sir... Are you sure you want to use these eyes? They’ve just been tested once, and it didn’t end out well.’‘
‘’Did I ask for your opinion, Rebecca? No. Our last subject was weak. He was on the bridge of dying, anyway.’‘
Oh my fucking Lord.
Rebecca sat at the edge of my bed, softly talking to me about meaningless things. She was trying to make me less nervous about my eyes. The surgery has been over and done with for about 4 days. The pain had finally worn off, and it was time to remove my bandages to see if it was a success. The only thing I could think of is bionic eyes. What will they look like? Will they be made out of metal? I blinked underneath my bandages. They don’t feel like metal. They feel quite smooth, actually...
‘’I can’t wait to see your new eyes, hun.’‘ Rebecca took my hand in hers.
‘’What color will they be?’‘ I whispered.
She thought for a moment before answering, ‘’well..’‘ she was hesitating. ‘’It really depends. They could turn out any color.’‘
‘’I hope they’re not brown or green.’‘
Rebecca’s laugh filled the room, ‘’why not?’‘
I shrugged, ‘’it’s too much of a popular eye color, you know? I kinda want something more original.’‘
‘’And here I thought blue was the most popular eye color,’‘ she giggled. ‘’My eyes are green... It has some slight yellowness, too. I love my eyes.’‘ her voice turned hushed. ‘’What color were your eyes before...’‘
I frowned. My accident was something I hated talking about. The last thing I remember seeing was that man. His face stretched into shock as his entire body went stiff. He didn’t even try to stop it, or try to call for help. He left me there. Alone.
‘’My eyes were green, too.’‘
They made me stand in front of a mirror, my mom holding my hand. By the way she was grasping it, it seemed like she was much more nervous than I was. The doctor was speaking words of encouragement, saying things like ‘’you don’t have to remove it yet if you don’t feel ready.’‘
I was completely ready, but scared.
The doctor’s hands were cold as they pressed themselves against my cheeks. His movements were gentle, but still swift. Like he wanted to get this over with as much as I did.
‘’What if it didn’t work?’‘ mother’s voice cracked.
No one replied. But, it’s not like it could fuck up my eyes even more, right?
The bandages fell off my skin. They left a tingling feeling where they touched.
I couldn’t see a thing.
‘’I can’t see anything,’‘ I stated dumbly.
The doctor cleared his throat, ‘’eum... Opening your eyes could help.’‘
‘’Open your eyes, hun. Nothing to be afraid of,’‘ said mother.
So, I opened them, and was shocked at what I saw.
‘’I really thought the operation would work, too.’‘ mother sobbed.
‘’Mom,’‘ my voice was whinny, ‘’please don’t cry... It’s not that bad.’‘
‘’Not that bad?!’‘ Her voice rose with outrage, ‘’my daughter can’t see! She’ll never be able to see again!’‘
I pressed my lips together in a harsh line indicating my annoyance. Yes, I was upset... But, it’s not like I’m not used to being blind. It’s normal for me.
‘’Mom,’‘ I muttered, ‘’why don’t you just... Go get some rest, okay?’‘
Without a answer, I heard her chair move, and jingle of keys. ‘’I love you,’‘ she stroked my cheek.
‘’I love you, too.’‘
That night, I laid in bed wondering if this happened to the other guy. The doctor said nothing about the medical mishap. He just said his apologies to my mother and I, and walked away. Now what? Are they going to remove the bionic eyes from my body and try another pair? Or will they remove them and simply use them on someone else. I mean... It could be that my body just don’t work with them.
I rolled to my side and let out a shriek. There was a young man sitting next to my bed, head down. He was almost naked and dripping wet, which probably caused his blue skin. I pushed myself away from him, completely forgetting the edge of the bed. I landed on the floor with a loud thud. My body trembled as I gazed under my bed. I saw no feet. For a second, I felt complete relief... That was until I noticed the puddle of water next to my bed.
My breath got caught in my throat, and felt a shock against my cheek. My hand trembled as I reached for my cheek. It was damp. Water? I flinched as another drop hit my cheek. Oh God. Where is that coming from? Then it hit me... From above.
Something in the back of my mind told me to not look up, and just crawl away. I sucked in my breath and ignored that voice, only to regret it one second later.
I found myself face to face with a eyeless boy. His mouth pulled into a snarl, and hair dripping wet. Dry blood splattered upon his face.
‘’My... eyes...’‘ he growled.
‘’W-what...?’‘ I whispered.
‘’My...’‘ his hands shot out and grabbed my shoulders violently. ‘’EYES!’‘
Another shriek crawled out of my throat and I fought against him. How could this guy be so strong? He looks so... tattered and weak. I shut my eyes and began to whisper prayers.
‘’Praying.. won’t save you.’‘ he chocked out, ‘’you’ve already... dug your own... grave.’‘
I stopped fighting to look at his face. For a single second, his face softened. Like there was something he wanted to get out, but just couldn’t. Suddenly, he let go of my shoulders and jumped back. He collided with the wall, but did not fall; he climbed it. His leg placed itself over his shoulder, and his arms cracked in a unnatural way. As soon as he reached the ceiling, he looked down at me and whispered one last sentence.
‘’Hell starts now,’‘ he snapped his fingers and disappeared into the roof.
‘’Oh my fucking God!’‘ I yelled out, quickly sitting up in my bed.
‘’You’re finally awake!’‘ Rebecca stood before me, hands on her hips. ‘’You’ve been yelling for the past 10 minutes. Honey, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream? Are you in pain? Why are you looking at me like that?’‘
I simply gaped at her. The world started spinning around me, my head started to pound. What the hell is happening?
‘’I can see...’‘
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