Chapter 2:

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 88

On a Wednesday sometime in May, during grade eleven Kara sat with Corey’s group at lunch time. They were talking about a movie night that they were all going to on the weekend and Kara knew right away that she wasn’t invited. No one noticed her so why would anyone bother to invite her. Sighing Kara picked up her bag not even bothering to make an excuse and walked away in search of a quiet spot.
Sitting in a corner further along the wall from where the other group was Kara got out a notebook and pen. The notebook was a dog eared, scruffy looking old thing that Kara used as a journal. Kara loved writing even though she didn’t think she was very good at it. She went through about two journals a month on average although some months there wasn’t much to write about so it was only one and a half.
Kara had trust issues. She had been let down too many times in the past to find it easy to trust people. She didn’t know how to respond when people tried to get closer to her because it was rarely done and she spent most of her time alone. It was very hard for her to trust people because of previous experiences and things that she just needed to learn to let go of. But she didn’t know how to do that.
Because she didn’t have anyone to talk to, Kara wrote. She wrote poems and stories and journal entries. Sometimes she just observed what was going on around her and wrote that down. It wasn’t like anyone was curious about what she was writing. To be curious they would have had to notice her to begin with.
On that particular Monday Kara didn’t know what to write about. She leant back against the cool but firm wall and closed her eyes, thinking. Softly she hummed the melody of one of the songs that she had written. If there was anything Kara could do besides write it was sing. She didn’t think that she was very good at that either but at least people noticed her when she sang.
After a few moments Kara heard footsteps. She tried to ignore them and waited for whoever it was to pass but they seemed to have stopped right in front of her. Again she waited but whoever it was wasn’t going away. The footsteps started again. Good, Kara thought, they are going and leaving me in peace. But whoever it was had other ideas. The footsteps walked to the other side of Kara and sat down next to her.
Kara opened her eyes only to see Corey sitting next to her looking concerned. He was tall with dark brown hair and calm hazel eyes that something inside her said she could trust. It was a strange feeling to her, being able to trust someone. She’d never felt trust before. It seemed strange. Something about Corey just seemed different from everyone else. And since when did people come looking for her when she left?
‘I was wondering where you went. You just left,’ He said. His voice kind and soothing. ‘Is everything alright?’
He was watching her carefully, not wanting to say anything to upset her because she seemed on edge all the time and he didn’t want to do anything that might push her over. He nudged her gently with his elbow and she turned to face him, looking straight into his eyes.
As Corey watched, tears filled Kara’s brilliant blue eyes. She spoke just nine words but they stung his heart to hear, ‘Don’t try to save me. I’m too far gone.’ With that she crumpled up and began to cry. The salty tears ran down her face, some going into her mouth, others dripping off her chin and onto his knee.
Carefully he reached over and hugged her. No one knows how long they sat like that, Kara crying uncontrollably and Corey simply holding her tight and trying to soothe her.
By the time she had calmed down lunch was well and truly over. Sixth period was about to end and there was no way in the world that Kara was going back to class now.
The two of them walked down to the Student Services office. They signed out under family reasons and headed towards the shopping centre and sat down in a coffee shop called Sammy’s Cuppa’s.
‘Okay. Do you cry like that all the time?’ Corey asked, curious. ‘And what do you mean by “I’m to far gone”? What’s going on?’
Kara picked up her hot chocolate, holding it delicately between her hands. She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, ‘Do you know what it’s like to be invisible?’ she asked.
‘What do you mean?’ he responded. ‘You aren’t invisible.’
Kara let out a faint laugh. ‘Right,’ she said. ‘Because people actually notice my existence.’
‘You are a special person Kara, if people can’t see that it’s their problem. You shouldn’t have to be upset about it.’
Kara sighed and pulled up her jacket sleeves. She took her watch off revealing her thin pale arms. Corey gasped as he saw the scars that he knew meant she’d lost so much of her will to live.
‘Do I really need to spell it out for you? I’m to far gone to be saved Corey, its fine if you go back to your friends and your life as the most popular kid in the class. You don’t need some one like me and I don’t need anyone. I don’t want anyone to be hurt when I’m finally gone,’ Kara sighed as tears filled her eyes once more.
Corey, although slightly taken aback, knew that leaving her wasn’t an option for him. He’d seen the effects of depression before and looking into Kara’s eyes he saw a reflection of himself that he hadn’t seen in almost two whole years.
‘Hey,’ He said. ‘I’m still here aren’t I?’
And with that Kara broke down and began to cry in his arms again.
* * *
When Kara got home later that afternoon she found the house empty. There was a note folded on the kitchen bench. The note read:
Katrina, honey,
I’ve taken the kids shopping! I figured you wouldn’t mind not going. We won’t be home until late. Make yourself dinner and then head off to bed. You have school tomorrow so don’t have a late night okay?
Kara’s mum always called her by her full name, Katrina, and she was forever taking Kara’s siblings, Gemma, Hailey and Lachie, on excursions to go shopping or to the movies and other fun things but Kara never got to go because in her mother’s words “High school is an important time and you need to focus on your study and get early nights.” Not that Kara minded that much. Going to bed early was a relief for her. It meant that she could spend time reading and writing rather than watching mindless television with the rest of her family.
Grabbing a new jar of Nutella and a spoon out of the cupboard Kara headed towards her room, knowing that her family wouldn’t be home until after midnight and that when they did get home they wouldn’t even bother looking in on her to see if she was alright.
As Kara sat down at her desk and turned on her computer she considered what to have for dinner. From previous experience she knew that her father would join the rest of her family for dinner and that they’d all go out somewhere nice for dinner so she only needed to worry about food for herself. Deciding just to order a pizza she logged on to MSN. Kara’s screen name was Invisible for obvious reasons. She never bothered to change it because unlike everyone else she really didn’t care if everyone had seen her name before.
A pop up came across her screen saying that “I heart CR” had just signed in. Kara knew even without looking that it was Sara. Everyone knew that Sara liked Corey - at least that week she did - but she didn’t often talk to Kara. Normally she only acknowledged Kara when she needed help with some assignment or other. Kara wasn’t even going to bother talking to her tonight. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry.
And she was about to do just that when Sara said something to her.
I heart CR says: Hey what was going on with you and Corey today?
At first Kara didn’t know what to say. Maybe if I just ignore her she’ll go away, though Kara. But Sara obviously had other ideas.
I heart CR says: I know you are there.
I heart CR says: I’m just going to keep talking until you answer me
I heart CR says: Come on, I’m not going to hold anything against you. I just want to know what’s going on.
I guess I’ll have to say something, Kara decided.
Invisible says: Sorry there was someone at the door
Invisible says: What do you mean what’s going on between me and Corey?
I heart CR says: well you two seemed awfully close today at lunch…
I heart CR says: And then no one saw you since…
Invisible says: I had an appointment to go to
I heart CR says: And Corey???
Invisible says: I wouldn’t have a clue. He signed out under family matters.
I heart CR says: What about at lunch??
Invisible says: What about at lunch?
I heart CR says: Well you two were very close then…
Invisible says: What is this??
I heart CR says: Huh?
Invisible says: A police interrogation or something???
I heart CR says: No nothing like that.
I heart CR says: I just want to know why you come out of no where and then suddenly you’re all over him.
Invisible says: umm hate to burst your bubble but I’ve been going to Sunnyside High since the start of last year…I’ve been in your class since then too. I’ve known him longer than you so don’t accuse me of coming out of no where just because you’ve never taken any notice of me. Well that’s your fault not mine.
I heart CR says: WTF??
I heart CR says: what do you mean I don’t notice you? If you tried to join in with us then you’d be our friend too
Invisible says: What are you talking about? I sit with you every lunch and you never take any notice of me
I heart CR says: no you don’t. You’ve never sat with us once in your life.
Invisible says: haha haha that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard, why don’t you ask your beloved Corey? He at least notices me. He’ll tell you that I sit with you just about every day.
And with that Kara blocked Sara and sat on her bed and cried and cried and cried. She sat and cried until she had no tears left. Glancing up at her clock she realised that it was a quater past four. That was the time that Corey usually came on MSN. She picked up the phone and ordered her pizza for about five o’clock and then went back to her computer just as a pop up came across the screen saying that “Fred is Red” had just signed in.
“I’m not even going to bother talking to Jason tonight. Why put myself through that?’ she mumbled to herself.
Fred is Red says: hey loser.
Auto response from Invisible: I’m invisible so why are you talking to me????

Sighing Kara lay down and fell asleep.

Submitted: October 14, 2009

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