Today was shit. But what can I say, aren’t most days? If I had to put it into a percentage, well – I’d say 99% of my days are a living hell. It’s either my family (if I’d even call them
family), school or just – simply life. I had to go to school today, couldn’t just fake another sickie. I had a biology excursion, it was crap. Walking through museums and Botanical gardens. Happy
little life. I couldn’t stand it, pretending to be happy, when really all I felt like doing was pulling out my blade and cutting deep, deep into the flesh of my arm. Until it bleed, uncontrollably.
While everyone else is playing happy lives around me, their laughter still echoes in my ears. Like a bell. A none, stop, bell. That I cannot escape.
Do you ever have that feeling? When the people around you feel like their crowding in on you, like their trapping you
in. Coming closer, and closer, and closer. You just wanna scream, but there all moving so fast. You can’t escape. Can’t move. Nothing. You feel numb. Can’t feel a thing. And then their voices come
so - loud. In your ears. Echo’s. Laughter. They become louder. And you can’t help it, you scream. At the top of your lungs. You need an escape.
We had to do a case study of ‘mega-fauna mammals’ and study their fossils. Fossils of a past life. I wish my
life would just pass. So suddenly. It was pretty boring, I didn’t do much, I just sat there and thought. Thought about where my life would lead to next, I knew it could get any worse, but I don’t
see it getting any better. I don’t have anything that could make it better. I have no hope. I just know that I have to keep living. Isn’t that weird? I’m so hopeless, and useless. A waste of space.
When I could be underground. Covered in earths dirt. But I keep on going. As if I know it’ll all get better all of a sudden. I don’t know how or why, but I’m gonna keep on going. I have
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