Failing In Love
“Why, again, does he want you to leave with him???” Joel asked for the fifth time in the past half hour. He was completely out of it since the weird horror thing happened.
“Go to sleep Joel, nothing’s going to happen, I promise.” He closed his eyes and settled down, finally in his PJ’s. He had given up trying to get changed, scared to be alone so in the end he just stripped to his boxers and climbed into bed. I got changed, still squeamish about Joel seeing me just about naked but I did it, no big deal.
As much as I wanted the promise to stay truthful, I couldn’t imagine getting one nights rest without troubles, Ash, Savannah, Georgia, Jordan, everyone but Joel. I just wanted some time with him where no one could hurt us. Not even that could be easy enough.
“Seriously nothing, go to sleep. You’re shattered and still shivering.” I climbed into bed and hugged Joel tight. It was true, he hadn’t been able to stop trembling since Ash left with the scary bitch.
“What if he tries to take you away???”
“He won’t be able too, I love this too much.” I turned his head and kissed him slowly, “I love you too much.”
“I love you too but I’m scared, I’m actually scared of you getting taken away more than anything.”
“Why??? I’ll be like Savannah, I’ll be able to see you, touch, kiss you-”
“You won’t feel me though, you won’t be able to feel anything, remember what Savannah said, it’s like all your emotions are sucked out of you, you’re lucky if anything is left.” He sighed and turned round completely, he had my biggest jumper on, the heating was full blast and the duvet was really stuffy. “I will not let them have you.”
“You won’t have too. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise me, promise, that you will never go anywhere without me???”
“I won’t make promises I can’t guarantee to make.”
“Fine. Promise me you won’t go with Ash anywhere???”
“Say it properly.”
“I promise you, Joel Robertson, that I will never go anywhere with Ash. Wait, what if you’re there???”
“Okay, I guess I’ll let you off with that.” I grinned and kissed his cheek, I loved life, I loved my family, I loved my friends, I loved Joel too much to leave it all behind.
“Can you please go to sleep???” He nodded and closed my eyes with his fingers as he closed his. Soon enough there was deep breathing and his sniffles filling the room. Joel had finally stopped trembling so I thought it would be okay to go get a drink.
“What are you doing???” I just kept walking as the footsteps became louder. “Come back with me, please.”
“And not feel any emotions??? Be restricted from seeing Joel??? I don’t think so. I have a life her, a family here, friends, the love of my life is here.” I got to the kitchen and got my glass of juice when there were hands on my waist and lips on my neck.
“You want to come with me, your heart’s speeding just with the touch of my hands, your minds racing at the touch of my lips. Admit it.”
“I admit to fuck all you blonde bastard.” His hands tightened and I ripped them off me, smashing the glass in his face and making him blow back onto the far wall. He cried out, not of pain, but of principle and lay as he was, not even the slightest move to get up. “If I could kill you I would.”
“Do it.” I just glared at him, I couldn’t even kill the jerk, he was already dead. Yet, before my eyes he turned into a tanned, jet black haired, brown eyed boy, lying in my kitchen. “Kill me.”
I walked up to him, my mind reeling with what I could do. I could kill him??? He would really let me??? I put out both my fists, ready to blow as much power as I could into his face, to just get rid of him, to be free of him. Until I realised something.
I couldn’t kill him.
Even though he almost killed Joel, tried to kill me, haunted my dreams, he was killing Jordan, making savannah’s existence a misery, I couldn’t kill him.
“I can’t!!!” I whispered, “you know I can’t.” he stood up, slowly changing back to the blonde, pale, blue eyed spirit I had been accompanied with for months. He held my shoulders while tears filled my eyes. I didn’t even know why.
“You know why, Nikita, you’ve always known why.” He whispered, his lips getting closer.
“Get out. Now.” I turned away from his and felt the hands on my shoulders disappear before dropping to the ground in a fit of tears. I had the chance to do what I wanted so much and failed. I turned round, half of me wanting to kick the shit out of him until his heart stopped beating and half of me wanting to kiss him and never stop.
Even after what he did, I knew I loved him.
A/N sorry!!! It’s really short but it was a good place to stop, you get the feeling don’t you??? And, I’m back on track if anyone’s noticed?!?!?! I’m updating ½ chapters a day :D love u guys, keep reading and tell me what cha think bye!!!
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